Using AI

Anyone else bothered by the plain line that's used as a capital I in some fonts?
For example, in Arial, the letter looks like this: I

Maybe I just need to make different font choices.

Oh look, I started with a digression.
Here's another one... I have a post I've been working on. It's long. Will probably be boring to some of you. But when I read back over my blog I'm really glad I took the time to write the mundane stuff.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

So if you use AI, you're contributing to all kinds of damage.
I wasn't aware of this. I think a lot of people aren't aware, but maybe we should be.

I have seen more than one source that says something like, "I left FB and deleted my account only to find that AI was now 'me' and posting all kinds of stuff."

So I haven't deleted my account, although mostly the only thing I've used it for in the last six months or more is to message with my mom.

I have appreciated the Buy Nothing group that I'm a part of, and would be sorry to lose that, and I am happy to have re-established contact with the few people from my past who mattered to me.

There's a big FB center outside Prineville, where one of my brothers lives. I wonder if they're having issues, too. Prineville is a desert climate where a lot of farming happens, so it seems that water would be an important thing.

Anyway. The video isn't very long. It's worth watching. And passing on.

Bye, 2024

 

No Bob. No. Or, I'm Just a Babysitter, right?

Well Bob was in fine form again Thursday.

He arrived in program after school and was already escalated.

There was a frantic, wild-eyed energy coming from him the second he walked in the door.
The school has the Scholastic book fair going on, and he purchased one of those stupid sticks with a hand on the end of it. Pointer, they call it... pain in the ass, I call it.

One of these damn things:


If you had to guess, what would you think a kid does with one of those?
Yeah, you probably guessed right.

I asked him to put it away after he'd poked three or four kids in the back, running around like a dervish.

Instead of putting it away, he raced across the room, waving it in the air and screaming.

Then, he appeared to remember the discussion we'd had in which we made a plan for him when he felt like he needed a break. (See previous post)

He went to the gym, sat in the door where I could see a foot.
Great.

Some of the other kids came to complain that Bob was in the gym. I said, "Leave Bob alone, he is taking a break."

So a bunch of other kids suddenly decided they needed to take a break, TOO.
I said no. And no and no and no. No one else was allowed to go to the gym.

Bob felt special. So instead of sitting in the doorway as we'd arranged, he got up and began running around in the gym, screaming.

Then, one of the kids who's new with me this year thought it would be okay to go in the gym and join Bob. Yeah, that was a great idea.

So I had to bring them both out of the gym and say that the gym was no longer an option for Bob. 

"This isn't what we discussed, Bob."

Bob then ran up to another child, grabbed her around the waist from the back and began lifting and dropping and lifting and dropping her. He did it repeatedly as she yelled at him to stop and tried to get his hands off her. It was only a few seconds until the assistant of the day (I am SO TIRED of having different people every damn day) stepped over to them (she was closer) and physically removed his hands from her waist, saying, "Bob, we don't put our hands on another person."

"MY NAME'S NOT BOB!! MY NAME'S NOT BOB!!"

Then he was off to the ball storage rack that sits in the corner of our space next to the floor-to-ceiling glass doors.  Climbed it like a monkey and stood on top. Made from tubular metal, it's five feet tall and holds all the playground balls that belong to the school. I could just see him tipping it over and then crashing through the glass. Although it's thick glass and I think it's meant to be bullet proof, it's still a rrreally crappy idea for him to be up there.

He jumped up and down on the metal tubing, the whole thing rocked precariously. Then he jumped off the side of it and ran away.

He ran around and around and around our cafeteria, crashing into other kids, trying to knock them over. "Bob. Bob. Please walk in this room, Bob."

"I don't have to walk. YOU have to walk. Shut up. Shut up. Shut up."

Great.

So I was following him around by this point. One on one, as they say. Which we can't do for extended periods of time, we're not set up for that. He decided he didn't like being followed, and took off down the hall and through the big double doors that lead out into the rest of the facility. Screaming. Great. I added 'eloped from program' to the mental list of things I needed to scrawl on a piece of paper for all the damn incident reports I was going to have to write later.

He came back toward the door and I said, "Bob, you're outside of our boundary. You need to be inside these doors."

"YOU need to be inside these doors!" he said. "You need to be inside these doors!"
He grabbed the long strip that's attached to the wall. It's to be placed across doors when you're wanting to block access.

School version of police tape, I guess.  Pulled it out from the dispenser thing on the wall, darted across to the other side of the doors and let go of it. It retracted into the wall with a loud smack. He hooted and did it again. And again. Telling him that it belongs to the school and not our program did absolutely nothing.

Everything I'd said or tried did nothing until 3, when our schedule says it's outdoor time.

We went outside. I can't keep the kids inside just because Bob's not behaving, right?

Outside, more tubular metal. Bike racks. Constructed of large tubes, they're on the asphalt near our covered play area. The kids aren't allowed to climb on them during program time, although I have seen many of them do it during school recess. Different rules for my program, both for licensing and for safety reasons.

He climbed on top. I said, "Bob, you need to get down. I don't want you to fall."

"I'm not going to fall. I'm not going to fall. You can't tell me I will fall, you don't know and you're STUPID."

I was surprised when it was time to go in and Bob lined up with the rest of the kids.

He even washed his hands with them.

Then it was back to defiance, screaming, running around the room.

I wrote down everything that happened, and on Friday morning a stack of electronic incident reports went to his parents.

I followed up with an email:

Dear Bob Parents,
I wanted to touch base with you regarding a plan in the event that Bob is having trouble calming down again.

First, I'd like to ask if there is anything I can do to support him when he's escalated. If you know of  a way or ways I can help or redirect him I want to try any effective methods of doing so.

I was not able to redirect him on Thursday (September 26th). He arrived at program already upset and I could not assist him in any measurable way throughout the afternoon.

He required one on one support for most of the time he was in program.
For the safety and well-being of all the children, we're not equipped to provide that level of care.

I will have to contact a parent to pick him up if we have another occurrence of one on one support needed for more than 15 consecutive minutes or repeatedly in one session.

I'd like to avoid him thinking that escalated behavior is a ticket to go home, though, so if I do have to take that step, I am hoping we can work together for him to think that it was merely time to leave.

Please let me know if there is something I can do to assist Bob when he needs a little extra care.

Thank you.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I'm just a babysitter, right? I serve snacks, tie shoes and make craft projects.


Tell ya what, though. It's too much for me physically to have to chase a kid around like I did on Thursday afternoon. I care about the kids. And I wish Bob well. But I can't help him.

Bob is seven years old.

I'm going on vacation and I'm bringing....

 I play a game with my kids on occasion.

Let's say Hannah starts the game.
"I'm Hannah and I'm bringing ham."

Then Tim.
"I'm Tim and I'm bringing turtles and ham."

"I'm Brooke and I'm bringing bananas, turtles, and ham."

You get the idea, right?

It's a fun way to learn other people's names, and the kids help each other remember, too. The old collaborative effort thing.

So I was reading an article this afternoon about some changes in TSA rules regarding what liquids are now allowed on airplanes.

From the article:
There are 11 full-size liquids that may pass through airport security, however. According to The Post, they are the following:

• Over-the-counter medications

• Prescription medication in gel, liquid or aerosol

• Freezer or ice packs for medically necessary items

• Food and drink for toddlers and babies

• Wet batteries

• Live fish transported in water

• Biological specimens

• Breast milk or formula for infants

• Teethers filled with liquid

• Duty-free items sealed in a tamper-evident bag

• Fresh eggs
  
  
  
  
  Okay, medicine and baby food and fish.
  Fish are an interesting choice, but okay. But fresh eggs??
  
  Who brings fresh eggs on a vacation? Guys named Elmer?
  
  Anyone have ideas?
  

More Dipshittery

 

This article will eventually disappear, so I copied some of it to this post...


PORTLAND, Ore. —

A person survived electrocution and a 40-foot-fall off of a power line tower in southeast Portland after climbing the tower to take a selfie, Portland Fire & Rescue says.

PF&R says the incident happened around 5 p.m. Wednesday evening along the railroad tracks near Sellwood Riverfront Park.

A witness told PF&R the person was taking a selfie on the 40-foot-tall steel tower, and another witness described hearing "a transformer blow" and then saw the person fall from the tower to the ground. Rick Graves with Portland Fire and Rescue says the current conditions of the person are unknown.

“I’m unaware of the current condition of the individual that was affected. They were able to walk to the ambulance following the incident that occurred,” says Rick Graves with Portland Fire and Rescue. “There was clothing remains left on this 57,000-volt high-power line that’s elevated about 40 feet above ground indicating there was some kind of contact to that line.”

PF&R says it's not clear if the person touched the power line or if the power line arced and caused the electrocution.

Fire crews want to remind you: No selfie is worth risking your life.

Ya think?

Now that the weather is warming up and I'm still commuting to the West side of town on the daily, I'm seeing more dipshits on donorcycles. Apparently there are other idiots out there, though.

 Seriously.

WHO DOES THIS???????

See it?

I have a lot of kindergartners.

Another one is starting on Monday, meaning I have 10 of them in total. That's right. Ten five year olds.

Eight of them are boys, with all the boy energy I've talked about before.
The boy energy is the bouncing off the walls/trying to establish physical dominance type.

So far, they've attempted arm wrestling, trying to push each other to the floor while standing in line, grabbing toys from each other in the middle of play, chasing each other (a thing I put a stop to immediately indoors and mostly ignore outdoors) using the fidgets from the big box of them as weapons and splashing water/soap when it's time to wash their hands. They're physical and impulsive, which is to be expected with a bunch of little guys.

It's not difficult to deal with, although it's a little hard to keep a straight face because they're so cute and funny and full of exuberance.

Funny. If someone had told me when I started this job back in 2004 that not only would I have 10 five year olds to deal with every afternoon, but I'd also be doing the paperwork and following all kinds of state licensing rules and making sure all the food and toys and projects are in order, that we'd add 10 other kids to the mix and that they'd all need stuff to do too, and craft projects and art and games would happen and all would be running smoothly and with at least the appearance of being effortless (I love being good at what I do...) I would never have believed it.

Two of the K age kids are girls. Both of them are (of course) adorable and funny and fun to have around.

One of the girls is the oldest of three kids.
She has so many interesting things to say.

Cammie likes drawing, listening to stories and telling other people what to do. She has a strong personality. Highly intelligent. That sometimes causes her to be a little impatient with the other kids, not all of them understand her.

Those qualities, sometimes referred to as being bossy by adults who really should know better, are things that will be advantageous for her as she grows up.

All of the children are discovering what we have to offer. We have a lot of games, toys, Lincoln logs, art supplies, LEGO, blocks, a big bin of fidgets, a book cart that isn't as well stocked as I'd like, but I'm working on it.

Cammie found the Pictionary game on Tuesday. I bought it at Goodwill over the summer, it was still factory-sealed, so I did not take the lid off and examine the contents. All the kids were excited. A brand new game!

When that game first came out, the drawings were done on paper. Now the game contains dry erase markers and small white boards. This does not contribute to legible drawings, I'm afraid.

So Cammie and Tommy and Jonah were playing the game with my assistant.
Cammie drew something, and everyone at the table with her was trying to figure out what she'd drawn. They guessed bugs and cars and flying saucers. She became more exasperated with each guess.

After everyone at the table had tried to guess, even those who weren't part of the game, she got up and came across the room to me. Held out her little white board and said, "I know you will be able to figure this out!"

It was just some scribbles as far as I could see, but I did try.

I pointed to part of it and said, "Is that a man?" She gave me an intense look. Not a patient one, I'm afraid. So I asked if another part of the picture was  a dog.

She made a barky, impatient noise at me and said, "Any fool can see that it's people swimming!"

"Cammie," I said mildly, "That's not a very nice way to talk to me."

She immediately clouded up, I thought she was going to cry.
I was quick to add, "It's okay. I'm sure you didn't mean to be crabby. I know it's frustrating when people don't see things the same way you do. Can you tell me about your drawing?"

That calmed her down a bit, and she explained the scrawls and splotches to me. I have to admit I still couldn't see it, I mean she's five and it's a little white board and it's true, we don't see things the same way. But I told her, "Oh, I see how this is water here!" That was the only thing I could possibly interpret.

But seriously. 'Any fool could see' ??

Her mom and dad are very nice people, and I'm sure they aren't mean like that. My guess? Disney channel. She was talking about some of the shows she watches, and I know they're on Disney.

I haven't had that channel in my home for a long time. We had it for about a week when the kids were younger and I thought it might be fun, but the shows and the commercials were full of references to how stupid/gullible/easy to confuse the adults are. Shows where kids are putting one over on the adult(s) in their lives and commercials about how stupid adults are were enough to convince me it had no place in my home.

Ha... any fool could see it was obnoxious and rude and mean-spirited.
My feelings haven't changed.

not the actual drawing...

Pareidolia

There's a group on the book o' face called Things with Faces.

People post photos of things like the face I found on this square of air-dry modeling material Friday. Yeah, he gave me a dirty look until I opened up the package and squished him.

Or how about a sad potato?

Or hey, what Matt always called the YupYup guys.

There are websites devoted to pareidolia. I see a lot of things in clouds and rocks, too.

Try a google image search.
Look at the clouds.

So, anything looking at you in your house or yard? 

Gee. I wonder why I'm tired.

So things aren't going too badly, although I hate the commute more than I'd expected. It's not a lot longer than my other one, just more speeding cars around me. I'm also more comfortable with one route, so I don't like the GPS sending me different ways to shave three minutes off drive time.

I've noticed an interesting thing, when I see a car zipping in and out of traffuck doing stupid maneuvers ahead, and I catch up with them (as one inevitably does) it's almost always either a BMW or an Audi.

Guess they don't understand how the whole traffuck thing works... the research out there suggests that you might save 30 seconds to a minute on your way to your destination by driving like a flaming asshole.

Not worth being stupid, if you ask me. (As usual, no one has asked.)

I'm also not a fan of being sandwiched between two very large trucks while we hurtle down the road at 65. No one asked me if that was okay, either, by the way.

Okay.

Still doing this training and that. "Here's how we do it at OUR company."

I don't find that to be a bad thing, especially after working for an organization with no program standards for the last six years. But it's a huge amount of information, much of it without context. There will be more context as I continue to work there, but until I get my hands on the paperwork/systems/ways of doing things it's just words.

I have more than 30 kids registered, and most days there are more than 30 in attendance.

The cafeteria is huge, and the program isn't organized. I still don't even know what stuff there is on site for adults to use (crafts and adult sized scissors and where's the paperwork for incident reports and where's our real first aid kit?)

That last one is solved by my just bringing mine until such time as I locate the things we need.

It's been awhile since the place was gone through, cleaned up and labeled.

It's still going to BE awhile. I simply haven't had time.
School gets out at 3, meaning I have three hours to deal with kid stuff instead of the 4 I had at my last job. That's not all bad, but it does cut into crafting time. And as wild as the group has been, it's taking a lot of effort to get them all going in more or less the same direction.

I don't want compliance and perfection in kid behavior, they're kids and they're going to act like it. I've said before that they're like unanchored lily pads on the frog pond of life and there's a hell of a wind storm going on.

But trying to get them to stop hitting each other, running in the cafeteria, throwing toys? Almost makes me want to start a reward system. (Not really... more on that later. I utterly refuse to do any kind of incentive for expected behaviors.)

I brought in some LEGO on Friday during the full day program. As always, it was a huge hit. So I'll be bringing in more this week. Amazing how things are toned down when kids have things to do.

Okay, I was going to do more catching up but good god it's nearly midnight. And even though I  work from home tomorrow morning (Zoom meeting at 10) I still have to get up and do something about my smooshed up face and hair and get something to eat before I have to park in front of the computer for an hour and a half.

How are things where you are?

A little balance...

Still messing around with trying to run a scaled down version of my regular program in  half the space.

We did our first art project of the year today, made some bookmarks with butterflies and jewels and sequins and flowers. And glue. Lots of glue.

I only use tacky glue in my program, but the kids are used to school glue, so sometimes their projects are a little messy.

We don't have enough chairs for all the kids. Not enough table space, either. So it was chaotic and messy and some of them were a little crabby about having to share, but they made some really cute stuff.

My assistant was out today, she was injured at home and is unable to work for a bit. Not my story to tell, so I won't. I hope she will return soon, I don't like working with someone and getting the routine all figured out only to have them go somewhere else or not be there for awhile.

Easier to have the same adults running things on a day to day basis.

So despite several email queries to the principal and other players, I still don't know what the hell is happening with the move. It's been a gigantic pain in the ass to run my program this way, and if I'd known the process was going to drag on and on, I would not have packed things.

I am tempted to start UNpacking. I didn't label boxes other than with the name of my program, thinking that I'd have to unpack all of it anyway so it wouldn't make a difference. Now I wish I had so I could selectively open some boxes.

It really is aggravating.

BUT!!

On the good side, I got paid today. My paycheck was (for me anyway) gigantic. Like 2/3 bigger than usual. I asked about it, and some of us were given a rather sizeable 'retention' bonus.

A sort of 'thanks for sticking with us, here's a big pile of cash' thing.

Seriously. Like a lot. If it turns out we need to get a new car, it's enough for a good down payment.

I was stunned.

But it is a little help to balance the crazy that I'm dealing with.

There are things about this company that bug me. Nothing is perfect, of course. As a non-profit, they run things a little loosely in some ways.

But wow. I really appreciate being valued.

Send good thoughts... I really want that empty classroom, and we're four weeks into  the school year. Enough is enough is enough.

Well shit.

I was driving to work today.
It's funny, I've been avoiding a particular intersection for awhile, it always seems to be a little crazy, the left turn light is short, so if you're not the first or second car in line, sometimes the light changes on you and you have to sit through another full cycle of the light.

The traffic flowing the other way is not 'short', though, it's an extra LONG time. Frustrating.

So I've been turning off early. I did today, too. As I did it, I said to myself, 'now watch, this will be the day I should not have gone down this street'.

I should have told myself earlier.

As I was approaching an intersection, I saw a vehicle on my right preparing to turn into my lane.
And I knew it.
I fucking knew it.
I was right. I did not get all the way past her before she pulled out. I hit the gas and swerved toward the center to try to get out of her way, but not enough.

WHAM.

I felt the seatbelt lock up at the same time I hit my head on the doorframe. I have noticed this evening that I apparently hit my shoulder, too. And my neck seems to be made of some kind of hot wires that don't stretch very well.

So I stopped. We did the stuff you do. She thought *I* had hit her at first. She was pretty shaken up. But it's difficult for me to have been the one to have caused the accident when the damage is on the front of her car and the right rear of mine.

I almost got past her and none of that would have happened. I would also have made it to work instead of spending the afternoon making phone calls and seeing my doctor.

She figured it out. She was kind. She works at the business (ha! A car repair shop... although they do engines, not body work) that she was pulling out from. She got her information for me, and I sat in my car waiting for my husband and a tow truck. She came out to my car three or four times to make sure I was okay and apologized to me.

I told her that shit happens and that we'd get it figured out. It's not like she meant to do it. She's not stupid and wasn't being an asshole, there was no reason for me to be angry with her.

So my doctor checked me out. I don't have a concussion, I didn't break any bones and as far as fender benders go, it wasn't as bad as it could have been. She gave me a prescription for a muscle relaxant but it wasn't ready this evening so I guess I'll  be sleepin' without it. That's okay, I have other things I can take. I don't feel too bad. A little stiff.

My car is at a body shop. I don't know the damages yet. It's a Toyota, so they hold their value pretty well, I hope the insurance doesn't want to total it, that's a pain in the ass I don't need to deal with.

I will be off work tomorrow. Pretty sure I'm not going to feel better than I do this evening. And the rental place won't have a car for me until Friday.

I'm letting my insurance handle all of it and pay for everything, then they can get the money from HER insurance. I had an accident back in 1995 (also not my fault and I'm still pissed off about that one) and mistakenly thought since it wasn't my fault it should not be my insurance company's problem. What a clusterfuck. I won't make that mistake again.

So my insurance will cover everything and I'll be back on the road one way or another pretty soon.

::sigh::

Always something. :::sigh::

At the end of the school year the principal in my school told me I'd 'probably' be sharing my program space with the music teacher in the fall.

Since she said that last year at the beginning of the school year, and there's a shortage of all kinds of teachers and there was no music teacher all year, I didn't worry about it as much as I'd ordinarily do, although I knew the logistics wouldn't work the way she expected. I just sort of put it out of my mind and went about making a good program for the little weasels.

Then I got pulled out of that site during the afternoons and my kids were bused to a center instead for the rest of the school year while I ran a program at a completely different school.

I spent the rest of the school year running two programs, morning in one place, afternoons in the other, driving back and forth and back and forth. I was exhausted and felt pretty much like crap 'cause I was so  tired all the time. I've never been cut out for the split shift thing, really, but have done it because that's what the job called for and I love my job.

I wasn't exactly waking up at 5:00, instead feeling like I was being resurrected. Into the shower at 5:05, where I leaned helplessly against the wall while the hot water beat down on my head. I dragged out the door at 6, was at work by 6:30 and back in the car on my way home at 8:30. A whole lot of effort to be there for only two hours. Almost not worth it.

Exhaustion is too mild a word for how I was feeling.
Worse every day, actually. I have a lot of things that hurt, thanks to surgeries that didn't work, doctors who wouldn't listen. Blah blah. But I had no energy for anything other than work and resting in between shifts.

Ha, more on that later.
You know how you look back and are able to discern patterns that you didn't actually notice at the time?
Yeah, that.

I'm okay. In case you were wondering.

So I didn't worry much about the music teacher/shared space thing, I had other stuff going on. So the usual pattern... stress/obsess/stress/obsess didn't happen. Odd, but there it is.

Keeps me awake at night and prevents me from falling asleep promptly. Don't tell me to stop, it's been a lifelong thing. Ain't gonna change any time soon.

Then LEGO camp was over mid-July. I came home after saying goodbye to the kids on the last day and mostly slept for a week or so.

I goofed off a lot over summer. Nothing but time, right?

Matt came over a few times to help me sort and toss, but I didn't have much of that to do, I haven't really collected more crap since last summer. Things were not in order, I'm not a great housekeeper and we have two other adults living here who aren't great at it, either.

Mostly I just relaxed, although I wasn't feeling well.

That draggy feeling didn't go away. There were other things going on that I certainly don't want to talk about here.  But I had a UTI that went on over a month before I figured it out. So I did the things you do, flooded my system with water, took the over the counter stuff to help with the discomfort. It takes awhile to get in to see the doctor and the closest urgent care is closed now because they closed the Walgreen's it was tucked away in. Shitty neighborhood, they couldn't keep people from stealing and had more than one  armed robbery there.

So I took the pee pills as we call them for  about three weeks. I actually didn't know you aren't supposed to do that. I know it now, though.

I felt like things were clearing up, although I still  had some of the other things going on. I sort of just figured that it was more of the 'I'm getting older and shit falls apart as you get older' stuff and mostly ignored  it.

But one night I woke up feeling really weird and when I took my BP, it was very low. Over the next few days it was up and down and up and down and up and down. I felt like crap. It was high enough that I was concerned, so I finally called the doctor's office. They got me in the same day to see the NP. We learned that my BP cuff is off by quite a bit, but they did an EKG and did find a couple things that concerned them, so I'll  be following up on that.

But they also took some blood and tested me for several things. Since I am taking a diuretic and had the infection and a few other things, I was pretty sure I had a potassium deficiency.

They tested my blood for all kinds of stuff and it all came back just fine. Potassium was 'low' but not low enough for any concern according to the automated results that were sent to me.

I got a supplement anyway. Amazingly, within about 2 days I felt a LOT better. School started last week on Tuesday.

I've continued to improve, although having to wait six hours to pee on the first and second days of school prompted me to contact my employer and request a break on the other two  days. They made sure someone came out to help me so  I could go.

I'm surviving. More or less.

Remember when I got that almost-5 thousand dollar grant to stock and furnish and make my program what I've been wanting it to be for so long?

I spent a week or so picking things out and deciding what I'd like my kids to have.

Here are a few pics. Microscopes and a big box of prepared slides and art pencils and a library cart and a brand new art cart, much larger than the old and with PAPER organizers built in! Bugs. A lot of bugs encased in resin. 
If I put a photo of all the things I got, this post would be so heavy it would droop at the bottom of the screen. I bought more than one rolling cart, 90 colored bins to put all the new stuff in. LEGO and wall maps and bulletin board stuff and card stock and magnets.

The carts and flip top tables were sent to our corporate office for me, and the rest of it was shipped to my house. And even though school started on the 30th, all those things are still at my house. Why? Because I don't want to move them all twice.

Twice?
Yep. My program is relocating in the school.
Since it's bedtime and I'm still pretty wiped out, you get the rest of the story later.

I'm kind of out of the habit of writing, but I'll make an effort to catch you up the rest of the way tomorrow.

I usually edit and fix my posts before hitting publish, but I am not taking the time for that tonight. So if it doesn't make sense, well, now you know why.

And how are you doing?

What if someone gave you an almost unlimited budget?

I've been in this line of work since October, 2004.

If you've been around here awhile, you know I started out working at a for-profit company. And when I say for-profit, what I  really mean is, profit is the only thing they care about.

In the words of my son, who was about four at the time he originally said it (and don't ask me where he got this, I seriously don't know) they were (and still are) money-grubbing butt sniffers. At that time, I didn't even know after school care was a thing but wow, the description is very apt.

They have not improved the way they treat their employees, either.

Oh, look. I was about to head down the path of digression. It's the attention deficit way I do everything.

The point is, they were and still are, cheap assholes.
When I got my own site, trying to get supplies was an exercise in frustration and futility. I furnished a ton of stuff myself, even things like drawing paper. I was told it wasn't in the budget SO many times.

I asked Caustic for some markers once. I specified what kind I wanted, too.
I asked for Crayola Washable... she went to the Dollar Tree and got me Cra-Z-Art.

They're terrible, in case you don't know. Half of them are dry right out of the box, the others aren't even good for a whole picture being colored. They crap out.

I went to Sprawlmart and bought my own.
I bought LEGO and K'nex and craft supplies. Toys. Special treats.

When I went to Goodwill, I went to the toys and games first. Almost never left without at least one craft supply.

I spent quite a bit of my own money. I bought books. When I quit working for those assholes, I left behind 300 (no, not a typo) books at the school. Left a bunch of toys, too. The only toys I took were my own LEGO, because those are too expensive to replace. I just figured it wasn't fair to leave all these kids I had developed a relationship with and take all their books and favorite things with me, too.

Annnnd, I started over. The site I got wasn't as abysmal as some I've seen, and there were things for kids to do, but I still contributed a bunch of my own stuff and money to make it into something I was proud of. I drove across town to pick up a dollhouse I found on Craigslist. Yes, I paid for it.
The kids had asked me for one.

When I learned our space was to be demolished at the end of the school year, I asked for things I could use to make my program portable. Carts with cubbies. A book cart. The keyword was portable, but I couldn't get my employer to understand what it was I needed. Our school custodian helped me find a book cart in a storage area, and I scrounged up a media cart, too.

Made it through the year with that stuff, then moved AGAIN to the new building.

Y'all know what happened. Things were going along well, everyone was happy. Then that bitch Sherri contacted her little flunky friend who worked for the district and got her program in. They did not follow policies and procedures but that's actually a feature of this district rather than a bug. They are unprofessional and substandard in almost every way. It's my understanding from some of my friends who teach that working in this district is the educational equivalent of being stationed in Siberia.

When my families found out what had happened, they raised hell. I had grandparents who live in Montana calling to complain to the district. So my program was allowed to stay another year while fucking other people ran a program out of the cafeteria. Badly.

Then the pandemic hit.

Two months into that, I was asked to get all my stuff out of the school. So were all the teachers and everyone else. I brought home most of the stuff I paid for, but was assured by a manager that all my stuff would be stored together at a closed facility and that it would be there when things reopened.

Yeah, that didn't happen. I was glad I'd spent the money on decent boxes and gone in and packed my things. I wish I'd just taken everything, or almost everything, even stuff that wasn't mine, because all 'my' stuff disappeared from that facility.

I got tossed into a new school. It was a disaster. Axel, while being a nice guy, is  a slob. The place was dirty, disorganized and there weren't enough things for kids to do. Thank goodness I had my stuff here at home to take in. Took me from September until December to get things running right, and then BOOM, they made me work somewhere else afternoons. And who had been running that program before I got there? Fucking Axel.

There's a lot more, but I've already gone on way too long and it's 1:30 in the morning and I need to get to the point.

If you're still with me, I got an email last week from a manager. The company I work for, a non-profit, was given a very large grant. I am not sure where the grant came from, I haven't gotten many details. I don't really need them, because the only detail that really is important is that I have nearly five thousand dollars to spend on my program. The catch is that it must be spent by the 31st of this month. Other catch? I have to have my completed order in by Tuesday the 17th.

I'm giddy.
But I'm trying to do things thoughtfully and with an eye to the future. If my program is moved out of my classroom, for example, I will definitely need portability. So I've been shopping and planning and shopping some more.

This is one of the best things that's ever happened to me at work for sure.

I won't need to buy anything but paper and markers for the next 5 years if I do this right.

Paywalls are BULLSHIT

I have things to say. Working on a 'LEGO camp is finally over and I'm tired and so happy to have some time off and here's everything that happened in the last couple weeks of camp and what we're up to at my house' post but too lazy to do any actual writing this week so far.

But...I'm sure it's happened to most of you.

Surfin' along, minding your own business and suddenly there's a link that will tell  you more about whatever it is you're reading.

So you click on it and either they want you to 'sign up FREE' and then want your email address or your bra size or a photo of your butthole, the name of your firstborn, your medical information, what kind of car you drive, what kind of ice cream you like...

Or worse, they think their content is SO special that you'll pay to read it.
Um, okay. When the same stuff is available multiple places and is usually not difficult (but time consuming and goddammit I want it NOW) to find for free, why pay for it?

I was reading something this evening and in the comments was a link to an article that was behind a paywall. Most of the commenters were pissed off and a few said so.

And someone added this link in their comment and so far, it has worked on everything I could not read over the last three days!

It says 'show me a 10 foot paywall, I'll show you a 12 foot ladder.'

Try this link!

Professionalism. Get some.

So the latest idea from HQ to make us look 'professional' is to say, "Okay, you're all going to wear company shirts now."

Monday, schools were closed so the teachers could do some extra work. I ended up working in still another school.

I observed many things that are concerning to me.
From an old (but could be current based on my observations) post:


There is a lot of child on child contact. Children lie down together, lie on top of each other. They hide behind poorly placed furniture. I move things so I can see the kids, the kids don't appreciate it.

There have been several occasions I have told children they may not sit/lie on each other. They always respond that 'staff allows them to do it' or 'it's okay she's my sister/he's my brother.'

I let them know that *I* won't allow it, and their relationship isn't the point, the point is that they're all big kids and can sit on their own.

Children were doing tumbling, both indoors and out. When I commented that they should not be doing so, I was told 'they only do safe ones'.

I said that is subjective and that they should not be doing it at all. Ever.

They're still being allowed to do it. I go to them and stop them when I see it happening, but the kids don't like that a whole lot either.
"But other staff lets us do it/I take gymnastics.

I have spent the past month bouncing between schools and observing their programs. And cringing and ranting and rolling my eyes, sometimes all at once. I do save the ranting for my husband, just so you know. :)

When I arrived on Monday, the kids were outside playing. As soon as I arrived, the adult on site needed to go take a break, so she left.

I went out to the field where the kids were playing, four of the little girls were doing gymnastics. Splits, cartwheels, somersaults.

I was heading that way to ask them to stop, as no one does that stuff on my watch. I was at least 15 feet away when one of them did a backward somersault and I heard an audible CRACK. She stood up, rubbing the back of her neck. "Ouch!" she said.

First I made sure she was okay. That she didn't have any pain in her neck or back. I put a dot on her name on the sign out sheet so I'd remember to talk to her parent at pickup, too.

"Yep," I told her. "Ouch.  I need you guys to stop with the gymnastics. We're not a training gym, okay?"

I got the whole, 'but I take gymnastics, Jennifer lets us do it, oh it's okay I do it all the time' thing and I said, "Nope. Not  while  I am here."

They weren't pleased.

Again, "But Jennifer lets us!"

"Do  I look  like Jennifer?"

Later, I was preparing to take the group to the gym. The two biggest boys wanted to play dodgeball. Knowing as I do that for a few big kids and a bunch of smaller ones, 'Dodgeball' translates to 'Murderball' and isn't fun for anyone except the bigger kids, I suggested a couple alternatives.

They weren't happy. They protested, but they weren't rude about it.
I have a policy (usually never have to state it) that it's okay for kids to disagree with me.

It leads to a lot of good discussions, that unspoken rule.

We discussed it. I explained why I wasn't comfortable with the idea. We had two big boys and 14 K and 1st grade kids, mostly little girls.

I'm sure I don't need to draw you a picture, but they were a little clueless.

Kids.

But I told them why I didn't like the idea. I suggested that we divide the gym in two and they could play dodgeball in half and the other half could be free play. They definitely didn't like that idea. "Gym's too small for that," one of them said, and they wandered away, looking a little dejected.

But after they walked away I saw them stopping at every activity area and talking to the other kids.

They came back to me about five minutes later and said, "Hey, we talked to everyone and they all want to play dodgeball in the gym. If we are very careful and we don't throw the ball hard can we play?"

Most sites have the Gator Skin balls anyway. They're soft when they hit but heavy enough to be accurate. I've been pegged in the head more than once, and while it was startling, it didn't hurt me.

So I agreed to the dodgeball game.

It was predictable, the bigger kids were able to play and get everyone out quickly. They felt important and tough, ya know.

So we changed the game to Switchball, which is pretty much  like dodgeball except you're not out when you get hit, you just switch teams.

They seemed to enjoy that quite a bit, too.

But you know, kids get bored. Some of them have the attention span of a Cheerio. (that has always cracked me up, I don't know why).

After they tired of dodgeball, they wanted free time.

As soon as I said, "Okay, free time!" three of them ran over to the wall where there is a metal rack, I think for chin ups, and jumped up to grab the bar. Immediately all three were hanging upside down, heads suspended a couple feet above a hard wood floor. They did it so fast that I know they're accustomed to it.

"Nope, nope, nope!" I told them. "Not safe and that equipment doesn't belong to us!"

They all got down, looking wounded.

In chorus, "But Jennifer lets us do it!"

"Do I look like Jennifer?"

They exchanged glances, looked at me to make sure I wasn't going to change my mind, then they found a different activity.

But seriously. No mat underneath, their heads were at least two feet above floor level, there were three kids hanging side by side on that little thing and the bar isn't our property. We'd be so much better off if we all had that rule in all our programs.

Except for the play structure, we just shouldn't be on things that aren't part of our program.

We should not be using the playground/gym equipment (balls, jump ropes, hula hoops, cones... whatever) that belongs to the school, either. It should just be a straight up rule, the way I explain to the kids about everything. "If it's not yours, don't touch it."

Obviously we can use the school's play structure, as that's something that's open to the general public.

Funny. We actually have rules about certain items found on playgrounds. Liability insurance says things like 'no ziplines' and no 'spinny' things. (If you know, you know.)

Seems easy enough to remember, right? But we still end up with injuries and staff who allow kids to be on things they're not supposed to use.

But you know what? If your young charges are jumping off play structures, doing gymnastics in the cafeteria and running down the hallways, a company t shirt is not going to make you look professional.

It's been 16 years today!!

I don't know what sort of entity prodded me into starting a blog on August 25th, 2005.

I don't know what I expected to accomplish, I had no idea if anyone would want to read what I was writing, I didn't know what I'd be writing about.

And I still haven't really figured it out.
I write for myself, it's a journal of sorts. You can find political statements, things that made me laugh, things that aren't funny but made me laugh anyway, stories about my job, my family, my kids.

Just a slice of life sorta thing.

I have been surprised by how many people read what I write. I started out not worrying about that, but I  find that when someone enjoys my writing, I enjoy their enjoyment. It encourages me to continue with what I'm doing.

As I was writing that line, I went to my stat counter and found that 276,081 page views have occurred.

This means that the 12 of you have been here a lot. Ha.
 
I have over 25,000 comments, but since I've tried to make sure to answer all of them for the past 10 years or so, that drops the total down a bit.

But thanks for reading, for commenting, for coming back over and over.

I have made friends here, and I'm happy about that, too.

Happy Blog Anniversary to me.... please send money. LOTS of it. :)

You might be an asshole.

If you can't keep your distance from other people when you're in a store... you might be an asshole.

Wait your goddamn turn to grab a bag of rice or a can of refried beans. Geez.

If you're in that big of a hurry, you should have left your home earlier.
If you're impatient while someone is getting a gallon of milk or standing in front of the toothbrush display trying to figure out which one they want and you sigh, tap your foot, roll your eyes or otherwise show with your body language or your attitude that you're much more important than the other guy, you might be an asshole.

If you're in a big-assed hurry to get out of the store and you go out the entrance door and run over me while doing so, why, I believe you're an asshole.
It's a lot worse when you are a store employee and you don't even excuse yourself.

Dickhead.
Oh. And wearing a mask is a mandatory thing in the state of Oregon, stop your goddamn whining, put the mask on, do your shopping and go the fuck home.
If you're trying to go into a store and you yell at/argue with the person who's stationed at the entrance to make sure everyone is wearing a mask (aka doing their job under some really stressful circumstances) you might be an asshole.

If you're doing the yelling while other people are waiting for you to shut up because they're waiting in line and can't go in until you either go in or GTFO... you might be an asshole.

No, wait. That one definitely makes you an asshole.

So stay home.
Please. 
Pay someone to do your shopping for you.

The grocery stores have that service, too.
So do craft stores and home improvement stores. Restaurants, too. You go online, you order your stuff, you pay for it, then you go pick it up. They will bring it out to you!

Or hey!!
Order your stuff from Amazon.

You have a ton of easy choices.
Please don't choose being an asshole as your number one?

Thanks. Have a nice day.

OMG they're still trying to kill me!

Things continue to be in normal range with my BP.

Never claimed to be a doctor, but I do have a bit of awareness with my own body and I'm still kicking myself in the ass for taking the medication(s) in the first place. And in the second, third, fourth...

Haha, speaking of medications, which I keep typoing as medicatoins, don't ask me why, I know how to spell, dammit, the pharmacy messaged me yesterday to let me know the second BP medication, Lisinipril,  that had been prescribed (back in April? I think?) has been refilled and it's time for me to come pick it up.

Yeah, that's not happening.

Then, the Metoprolol, which almost fucking killed me... my DOCTOR'S OFFICE messaged me this morning to ask which dosage to send to pharmacy to be refilled!

You know, the stuff that I quit taking 'cause it was causing my BP to go higher than most of the satellites in low earth orbit?

The stuff that landed me in the ER not once but twice in the same week? Yeah, that stuff.

MY DOCTOR'S OFFICE. WANTS. TO. KNOW. WHAT. DOSAGE. TO. GIVE ME.

Yep, I replied. And I refrained from using profanity, but it was tempting to open up a big jar of fucks and sprinkle them liberally throughout.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Here's my reply:

Please update my records to reflect that Metoprolol sent my BP into the stratosphere, landed me in the emergency room not once but TWICE in a span of five days AND inspired some of the most condescending and patronizing behavior I've ever seen from medical personnel, some of them right there in your office.

Why was this not already updated?
Holy cow.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
What the hell are they doing there?
They're sure not providing medical care.

Meanwhile, tomorrow is the day that the hotshot investigators are supposed to be concluding their investigation into what happened to me in the ER and at the local clinic.

I'm about half-tempted to order a t shirt to wear next time I go in.

On the good side, I have just taken a blueberry cobbler out of the oven (it's 72 here today, perfect for baking, don't you agree?) and I'm going to go cut some and relax awhile before time to make dinner.

And how is your day going so far?

Win10 and my 'new' Laptop

I bought a refurbished laptop from Amazon.
I figured for $150.00 it was worth a shot.
I don't want a tablet, I still like having a little computer.
And I really love the feel of a keyboard. I'm not ready to give that up.

But paying full retail for a machine that I only use for things that don't require a ton of memory or power seems kind of crazy to me. I'm not a gamer (unless you count  solitaire) so I'm hoping for the best.

It has a warranty and they even included an email address if I have questions.
At this point I have more questions for Microsoft than I do for the computer guys.
I don't know much about computers, but I've been studying a bit with this one.

After I managed to find all my regular stuff, my blog, Book of Face, the electric bill, trash and water, bank account information, I tried a little of this and that.

I enjoy playing solitaire now and then, have had it on the old machines forever.

But Microsoft can't just put the goddamn games on the computer anymore. Nope. Now they have ads.
And you will have PAY to play them.

No thanks.
I did a little swearing over that one.

So I did some searching online and found out where I could download the older version and play it without the bullshit.

So now I have that loaded, too.
I've also done a little swearing over all the ads and the popups.

Dumped a bunch of unnecessary apps.
I'm still going to need to figure out autoplay, seems that the card reader doesn't want to read the card, and plugging the camera directly in doesn't work, either.

I did look it up, it's a common issue. So more little fixes I need to do to get things running the way I want them to.

My printer is old, but it was still great until a few months ago when my old computer decided to no longer recognize it. I have to locate the cable so I can introduce it to my new computer. I hope there aren't any problems with it, it's really about a pain in the ass to mess with this stuff.

The way things have changed in the computer industry is interesting to me.

When we lived in Southern California, one of our neighbors had a personal computer in the little closet under the stairs in their apartment. It was 1988, I think. He paid ELEVEN THOUSAND DOLLARS for that computer. I was horrified at the cost, but intrigued by the idea of having a computer. Not that I did anything about it, couldn't have afforded anything like that.

In 1994, we inherited one from my cousin's family. It was old, but it was cool to have one. The receipt came in the box with it, they paid almost five thousand for it.

Our first new one was $2500.
It ran Win95.
We all really enjoyed it.

When Lyssa still lived here, we bought her one for around $600. It was pretty nice, hence the price tag. I shipped it to her last fall.

Eric has one in the living room.

I have the laptop and a really old iPhone that a cousin gave to me. It's not being used as a phone, I just occasionally use it like a little tablet to look things up on while I'm at work.
("Susan, can you look up bats/Captain America/elephants... I want to draw one.")

I find it interesting that the price keeps getting smaller and the machines keep getting better.

And there's no way I could have imagined having my own computer back in 1988.
My great grandfather wrote a book about his eight decades on earth back in 1977. He marveled about his life going from horse and buggy to man on the moon and wondered in our conversations what I'd see in my lifetime.

Tell ya what I'd really like to see.
Teleportation.

I might even scrape up eleven grand if that would get it for me.

Dear Universe,

Dude.
WTF?

Fever, hives, swollen lower lip, more fever, more hives.
That's enough, m'kay?

Thanks,
Mental
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Thursday evening I started getting a fever. By bedtime it was a BIG fever, the kind that makes me weird. Unable to think in a linear or even sensible fashion.

I woke up countless times during the night. Such weird things were going through my head. Ugh.

I was supposed to go to a 3 hour orientation thing at work on Friday, but not only was I too sick to go, I was pretty sure that no one wanted the same bug with school about to start.

I ended up sleeping all day.
Up to pee, back to bed. Over and over and over. Every time I got up the fever was still with me. It's still summer (although cooler) and I was using my electric blanket.

Then last night, I woke up with hives on my stomach.
What????!

Fever up and down and up and down still.

When I got up this morning, my lower lip was numb and so swollen that I looked like I'd stuck my lip in a vacuum. Allergic reaction to????

The ONLY thing I had that was different from my usual was that I used a drinking straw from a brand new bag of them. Made in China. I don't know if it's possible for that to have caused the hives/lip swelling or not. You can bet that I won't be using those straws again, though. Holy cow.

I took some Benadryl. Went back to bed. And was up and down many times to pee. The lip is almost back to normal this evening, wish I could say the same for my temperature. So weird. And I feel so off. Took some more Benadryl before I ate my dinner. First food in 24 hours.

Blech.

So that was my parting gift from the place I worked over summer, I guess. I'm trying to get the house in order, Bobapalooza 2018 is in two weeks. Making progress but there's still a lot left to be done.

Now it's time for another dose of Benadryl (we have the Walgreen's knockoff and man, that stuff tastes nasty!!) and back to bed. I managed to shower and put on something clean, but that's really all I accomplished.

Paging the Lorax....

In the ongoing saga of the construction project across the street, today 8 mature (more than 100 year old) trees were murdered. 4 gigantic Douglas firs and 4 assorted leafy maples. I guess they thought shade for their new playground was a bad idea?

If we wanted to cut down ONE tree in our yard (and we do, Eric hates it and it's a trashy thing) we would have to do all kinds of demeaning things. Including getting permission from the city, even though they don't own the goddamn thing. They try to keep existing trees, says it in writing on their website.

Unless of course those trees would provide shade to a school playground. In that case, they all just need to die. And now.

Now lest you think I'm a tree-hugging, granola-munching hippie, I'm not. I have no issue with trees being cut down for firewood, for building of homes, for manufacturing paper.

I just don't understand why the trees that were on the very front edge of the huge lot that's going to become the new playground had to die. They were beautiful, they provided shade and habitat for various birds and squirrels, and were well-established.

::sigh::

I'm guessing they chose to do this doing Spring Break to avoid the kids getting upset and protesting the removal of the trees.

Things look really weird out there now.