Merry Christmas

 

A Little Holiday Music

This would be incredibly difficult to learn and sing.

Worth the four minutes to watch, though. 

I've resorted to automation in daycare.

This isn't a revelation, and probably will surprise exactly no one, but kids like to play. They're happy to take out every toy and art supply within a 10 mile radius, use some of it and walk away and start another mess 30 seconds later.

Most of the time, I just let them do it. We start cleaning up about 4:30 most days, closing time is at six. We used to clean at 4:45 or even 5:00 but (again, probably not a surprise) they're not as good at cleaning up their messes as they are at making them. There's a fair amount of farting around, a few who suddenly need to go to the restroom, want to eat their snack or just straight up start wandering aimlessly around the room while the other kids take up the slack.

Steffie has started to have a meltdown every time it's time to start cleaning up. She gets this high-pitched, whiny, petulant voice (swear it could melt glass if she was too close to it) and cries pitifully, "I don't know hoooowwwww!"

As if she hasn't been the one who's gone around the room and made the biggest damn mess there is. Haha.

Steffie is five years old. She's funny and cute and has a ton of wonderful qualities. But she's five. She's going to act like a five year old. It's not fun to clean up the mess after you've been running around doing mostly whatever you want all afternoon. I get it. And I don't get angry with her. I don't even feel angry. Although I do have to turn away to hide my smile, she's predictable and she's cute and I can't help a little bit of a grin in response to her antics.

Oliver is another one of the kinders who doesn't want to clean. He's great at hauling all our stuff out, but not too good at putting it back. He's not as subtle as Steffie, though. When I say, "Oliver, we need your help to clean up," he folds his arms, sticks his chin out and says, "No."

::snort:::

Benjamin is also in kindergarten, but he's a little different in his reaction to the clean up announcements. He hears the words, but he's always engrossed in what he's creating, either in the construction zone or at the art table. He knits his brows together, hunches up his shoulders and although you'd think it isn't possible, becomes even more focused on what is happening in his creative little hands.

So he just keeps working on whatever he has in front of him without commentary.

I know some people would see those reactions and dismiss the kids as being bratty or non-compliant and be pissed off that the small human is being willful and ramp up the demands and expectations and loom over them and wave their arms and raise their voices. 

But it's all age-appropriate behavior and I'm not without resources.

One thing that usually works well with them is to give them specific small tasks.

"Steffie, will you please pick up the colored pencils that are on the floor under the art table?" She stops crying and cheerfully grabs the six or eight pencils from the floor and puts them in the bin. Without prompting, she starts putting scissors in their proper container, too. If she stalls out, I direct her to the UNO cards at the game table or ask her to be in charge of wheeling our stack of laundry baskets from the corner to our storage room doors after everyone gets their backpacks and assorted things out of the baskets.

 "Oliver, will you please clean up the Lincoln Logs? I'll bet you can't toss them from here into their container!" Oliver's aim is getting pretty good, so I move the bin back another two feet. "You probably can't get them into the bin now..." He does. And keeps trying until they're all picked up.

"Benjamin, can you please take a quick break and make sure all the markers have their lids on?" Benjamin doesn't acknowledge me, he's busy. But he stops working for a few moments and caps the markers.

Yes, I really do request their help, I say please, I use a kind tone. 
Can't stress this enough... they're KIDS. And some of them are five years old, too young to be in school (if you ask me, as usual, no one has) and they've had a long day. 

Up at 7, in school all day, then in day care from 2:10 until pickup. That day is too long for ME. They're KIDS.

Look. 
I get it.

I don't like cleaning. 
Ask anyone who's been to my house. 
And don't you dare interrupt me when I am painting or drawing or trying to watch a movie and try to make me do something else!! I don't see why it should be any different with my after school bunch. They're people. With you know, feelings and priorities. They deserve to be treated with polite regard. 

I have to admit here that I haven't always thought this way and sometimes was much harder on my own children than I should have been. I expected obedience without giving it much thought. 

That's how I was raised and I didn't know better. 
I know better now.

Unfortunately, I don't get a do-over. I hope my own kids have forgiven my many instances of less-than-stellar parenting. 
I really wanted to be perfect.
I wasn't. Not even close.
::sigh:::


So yeah, back to clean up at the end of our program day.

Most of the time, giving them small tasks with very clear instructions is much easier. 
It's easier for me, too. 
We don't have the clash and the power struggle. 

So easy for them and for me to get overwhelmed with the noise level, the scope of the mess and the change in the energy of the room as we switch from creative/mellow to clearing up the carnage. 

It gets louder, the mood is more urgent, the time from 4:30 to 5:15 is peak pick-up-by-parents time, too. So we're cleaning, giving instructions to others to help clean, answering the door, saving or tossing art projects that were left on the table (Is this yours, Aaron?) and generally just trying to get through it so we can do our end of day activities. 

We have Zoobs, the 5 o' clock box with a ton of interesting stuff in it...



and omg don't forget the all-important 5:30 Snack Attack!!
(not that they'd allow us to forget, it's practically the most important part of the afternoon!)

We don't do snacks until we're completely done with the cleaning, though. Not fair for some kids to be eating while the other kids work.

Ordinarily my chosen methods of getting them to help clean, "We all played today, we all need to participate in cleaning up,"  are sufficient to get at least most of them going.

But the last two weeks have been... extra.

Not sure if you know this, but it's almost Christmas. It's true! Check your calendar.

The entire school routine has been knocked over on its side and kicked around so much it hardly resembles school at all. Pajama days and parties and assemblies where everyone sings or chants or dances. It's chaotic. Not all kids enjoy huge disruptions in their routine, either. Quite a few of them arrive after school already escalated. Tempers are short, especially between siblings. I have five pairs of those. Since most of them are used to yelling, pushing each other around or in a couple cases, hitting each other, when we add the chaos of no routine, they're having a hard time maintaining.

At home things are different, too. Christmas trees and baking and plans with Grandma and 'be good Santa is watching'. Please tell me you remember all that from your own childhood.

So the assigning tasks and having them actually do those tasks isn't as simple right now.

Understandable, but it gets to be a pain in the ass.

I still have tricks, though. One of our inside jokes in my program is me, turning the kids into other things. 

I wave a hand and say, "Boom. I just turned you into a kid with my invisible magic wand!"

"No you didn't!! I was already a kid!!"

"Are you sure? I think you were a lot taller and older just a few minutes ago!"

They think it's funny. Other kids join in and insist that, "You were a grownup when you got here!!"

They also enjoy being poked 'in the left foot' or 'in your right ear' with my invisible stick.

I threaten them when they have trouble remembering to walk. "If you don't slow down, Shelly, I will have to poke you with my invisible stick!"

"You don't HAVE a stick!" they tell me, delighted with the game. They often walk past me and pretend to grab something and then let me know they stole my invisible stick. I tell them it's fine, that I will just go to the invisible stick store and buy more. If I can still find the invisible stick store, because of course, the stick store is invisible, too.

Silly games. 
Haha... I may not have a stick, but you have to admit I have a schtick!

On Thursday, the usual tricks weren't working. It was time to clean up and although some of the kids were half-heartedly getting started on the cleanup, Steffie was crying about it, Oliver was on his knees on the bench in the corner of the room looking out at the rain, Benjamin was trying to kick apart his brother's LEGO house when his dad arrived to pick him up. Nothing seemed to be getting through, and I really do hate power struggles. Such an unhealthy dynamic.

So I grabbed my invisible magic wand and went to Steffie first.

Waved it at her and said, "I have just turned you into a robot. You can't do anything until I tell you what to do. So stand there and look like a robot." 

Oliver overheard and zipped across the room to stand next to Steffie. "Do me!! Do me!!"

I turned him into a robot, too. 
Benjamin had already gone home, so he missed it this time.

I began 'programming' the robots. 
Pretended to be holding a tablet and putting instructions in, speaking them out loud. 

They really liked walking stiff-legged/armed and picking up 'only the blue LEGO' or 'just the mess in this corner of the rug'.

It didn't take a great deal of time, my little robots enjoyed the game and things got picked up. Win/win. I'm sure they'll ask to be turned into robots again.

I'm also fervently hoping that when we go back to school in January, they're going to feel a little less frantic and beside themselves because of the holidaze.

Never boring.

Goodwill to All

 

Bet you know who the jackass is...

 

Jingle Bells....

 

Happy Turdkey Day!

 Here's hoping your day is free from Flaming Turd Cake!!

A Christmas story to keep you warm.

In a teacher's family, there was often too much month at the end of the money.

Dad and Mom spent everything they brought home to keep the family afloat.
Occasionally grandparents or other relatives would send a gift check to them. It almost always needed to be spent on regular household expenses. Groceries, the electric bill, a new coat for one of us. They never complained about it. They were just grateful for the bit of extra cash.

One December, all the stars aligned and they were able to spend the check that was sent to them on something that wasn't a necessity.

They decided on an electric blanket with dual controls.
Back in the 70s, you couldn't go to Amazon, and trying to buy something special in   their little town was not easy. They pulled out the Montgomery Ward catalog and picked their blanket. It took two weeks, but it finally came. They couldn't WAIT to try it out.

The next morning, both of them hated that blanket.
"It's a piece of crap," Dad pronounced. "I was hotter than hell all night."
"It's terrible," Mom agreed. "I  was cold all night long."

They decided to try it again, but planned to return it if they didn't like it.

The next night was the same.
Both of them were grumpy and out of sorts in the morning.

Mom said that every time she felt cold, she turned it up and it just wouldn't get warm .
Dad said that he was constantly turning his side down. "I was sweating all night!"

When they went in to take the blanket off
("I hate that damn thing!" Dad said. "I've got no use for it! No use atall.") they learned that they'd reversed the dual controls. So Mom had been turning Dad's side of the blanket up all night and he was turning her side down.

They kept the blanket.

Church Karens on Halloween

 Remember that lady who thought I had Satan in me a couple posts back?
This is quite similar.

Annnd.. checked my blog on my phone and the video doesn't show up the way it does on my computer. So here's the YouTube link.

Time for Carols 2

Were you stumped with any of the songs?

1. Have hither ward the entire assembly of those who are loyal in their belief.
Oh Come All Ye Faithful

2. Listen, the celestial messengers produce harmonious sounds.
Hark! The Herald Angels Sing

3. Nocturnal time span of unbroken quietness
Silent Night

4. An emotion excited by the acquisition or expectation of good given to the terrestrial sphere
Joy To The World

5. Decorate the entry-ways
Deck The Halls

6. Exalted heavenly beings to whom harkened

Angels We Have Heard On High

7. Twelve o'clock on a clement night witnessed its arrival
It Came Upon A Midnight Clear

8. The Christmas preceding all others
The First Noel

9. Small municipality in Judea southeast of Jerusalem
Oh Little Town Of Bethlehem

10. The lad is a diminutive percussionist.
The Little Drummer Boy

11. May the Deity bestow an absence of fatigue to cheerful male humans
God Rest Ye, Merry Gentlemen

12. Obese personification fabricated of compressed mounds of minute crystals

Frosty The Snowman.

13. Expectation of arrival to populated areas by mythical, masculine perennial gift giver
Santa Claus Is Coming To Town

14. Natal celebration devoid of color, rather albino, as a hallucinatory phenomenon for me
I'm Dreaming Of A White Christmas

15. The first person nominative plural of far eastern heads of state

We Three Kings

16. Tintinnabulation of vacillating pendulums in inverted, metallic spheres
Jingle Bells

17. In distant location the existence of an improvised unit of newborn children's slumber furniture
Away In A Manger

18. Leave and do an elevated broadcast
Go Tell It On The Mountain

19. Jovial yuletide desired for the second person singular or plural by us
We Wish You A Merry Christmas

20. As the guardians of little woolly animals protected their charges in the shadows of the earth
While Shepherds Watched Their Flocks By Night

21. Boulder of the tinkling metal spheres
Jingle Bell Rock

22. Cup-shaped instruments fashioned of a whitish metallic element
Silver Bells

23. The Apartment of Two Psychiatrists
Nut Cracker Suite

24. 288 Yuletide Hours
The 12 Days Of Christmas

25. Do you perceive the same longitudinal pressure which stimulates my auditory sense organs?
Do You Hear What I Hear?

26. Present me naught but dual incisors for this festive Yuletide
All I Want For Christmas Is My Two Front Teeth

27. Behold! I envisioned a trio of nautical vessels
I Saw Three Ships

28. Frozen precipitation commence
Let It Snow

29. Standing on the cover of the domicile
Up On The Housetop

30. Parent was observed osculating a red-coated unshaven teamster

I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus

Time for Carols

I LOVE Christmas music.
Not a secret if you know me.

I actually love most music, and have been singing since I was really little.
My mom tells me that I could carry a tune when I was three.

Christmas songs are some of my favorites, I listen to them in the car while I'm out and about. I have some CDs I made, too. I like some of the things from Mannheim Steamroller, but some of their compositions are jarring and ruin the mood for me.

So I've gone through their CDs and taken just the stuff I like and made my own holiday set.

Christmas Karaoke is another thing that never fails to make me smile, so I have one of those in the car, too.

I have a list of songs that have been turned into confusing strings of words. I'm pretty sure it's here on my blog somewhere but I'm too lazy to look. I thought it would be fun to post the list again and see if you all can figure them out.

I'll put up the answers in a couple days.

1. Have hither ward the entire assembly of those who are loyal in their belief.
2. Listen, the celestial messengers produce harmonious sounds.
3. Nocturnal time span of unbroken quietness
4. An emotion excited by the acquisition or expectation of good given to the terrestrial sphere
5. Decorate the entry-ways
6. Exalted heavenly beings to whom harkened
7. Twelve o'clock on a clement night witnessed its arrival
8. The Christmas preceding all others
9. Small municipality in Judea southeast of Jerusalem
10. The lad is a diminutive percussionist.
11. May the Deity bestow an absence of fatigue to cheerful male humans
12. Obese personification fabricated of compressed mounds of minute crystals.
13. Expectation of arrival to populated areas by mythical, masculine perennial gift giver.
14. Natal celebration devoid of color, rather albino, as a hallucinatory phenomenon for me.
15. The first person nominative plural of far eastern heads of state.
16. Tintinnabulation of vacillating pendulums in inverted, metallic spheres.
17. In distant location the existence of an improvised unit of newborn children's slumber furniture
18. Leave and do an elevated broadcast.
19. Jovial yuletide desired for the second person singular or plural by us
20. As the guardians of little woolly animals protected their charges in the shadows of the earth.
21. Boulder of the tinkling metal spheres
22. Cup-shaped instruments fashioned of a whitish metallic element
23. The Apartment of Two Psychiatrists
24. 288 Yuletide Hours
25. Do you perceive the same longitudinal pressure which stimulates my auditory sense organs?
26. Present me naught but dual incisors for this festive Yuletide.
27. Behold! I envisioned a trio of nautical vessels.
28. Frozen precipitation commence
29. Standing on the cover of the domicile
30. Parent was observed osculating a red-coated unshaven teamster

Hoppy Easter, Everyone!!

A man was driving along a highway and saw a pastel pink rabbit hopping along the side of the road and carrying a basket full of colorful eggs.

As he drove past, the rabbit jumped out across the middle of the road.
He swerved to avoid hitting it, but unfortunately he ran over it.

The driver, a sensitive man as well as an animal lover, pulled over and got out to see if the rabbit had survived.
Much to his dismay, the rabbit was dead.
The driver felt so awful that he began to cry.

A woman was driving down the highway and saw the man crying on the side of the road. She pulled over, stepped out of her car and asked the man what happened.

"I feel terrible," he exclaims,"I killed the Easter bunny!!"

The woman said, "Don't worry. I know what to do."

She ran to her car and pulled out a spray can. She walked over to the limp, dead rabbit, bent down, and sprayed the contents onto the rabbit

The rabbit jumped up, gathered the contents of the basket, hooked the handle over his arm, waved its paw at the two of them and hopped off down the road.
Ten feet away the rabbit stopped, turned around, waved again. He hopped down the road another 10 feet, stopped, turned and waved again. He continued doing that until he hopped out of sight.

The man was astonished.
He ran over to the woman and asked, "What was in that can? What did you spray on that rabbit!?"

The woman turned the can around so that the man could read the label. It said...

Hair Spray — Restores life to dead hair, and adds permanent wave.

 

Oh look. Another holiday that I don't celebrate!

1000 Ideas

I have so many things in my brain that need to come out and I'm too much of a lump to write about them.

We went to John Day over the holiday.
My dad isn't feeling well and has had a terrible time with his BP and heart, he's been sick since summer. He had an appointment with his regular cardiologist in mid-July but was seen by a different one due to a scheduling conflict at the office. This new doctor totally changed all the medications and instead of questioning it or saying NO, Dad took the new medication.

He had been doing well. Stable. After the sudden switch (WTAF???) went into A-fib and was hospitalized (ICU) for more than a week. My mom had to call an ambulance for him,he woke up early early one morning and his heart 'felt funny' he said. It was down to 30 beats per minute. When they got him to the hospital, they had a very hard time stabilizing everything. It took days. His regular doctor spent the night at the hospital, checking on him every half hour or so. The ambulance drivers told Mom that there was no way he should have been able to have a coherent conversation with them, but he was able to tell them about his symptoms and condition.

After more than a week in the ICU, he pulled through, but it wasn't good for him.

Coupled with a knee that doesn't work and causes him an extreme amount of pain, he's been more or less confined to his recliner since then. He has only been out of the house for physical therapy and doctor appointments, although Mom says he rides along in the car while she runs errands.

He isn't a good candidate for knee surgery. His heart condition precludes general anesthesia.

So Eric and I decided separately that going to visit my parents would be a good idea this year, then when we discussed it were already in agreement. He brought it up, actually. I have mixed feelings about spending time there, but this isn't the time to write it all up.

It's a long drive (five hours) when there is no ice or snow, even longer when there is.

Three years ago we went over and there was a LOT of snow.
We went over Mt.Hood, and although Eric had to chain up the car on the way over, it wasn't horrible. We came back the same way.
A mistake. We got most of the way up and sat in the ridiculous traffic of people returning home from their ski trips. The six hours it should have taken ended up being NINE. Ughhh. I still get frustrated thinking of it.

Very poorly managed up there during ski season... traffic was down to one lane for a large portion of the trip over the mountain.

And when I say one lane, I mean one lane for traffic going in BOTH directions. We sat in one place for over two hours while tow trucks helped a couple large semi trucks up the hill. It was such a clusterfuck. Infuriating. It could be managed much better, perhaps some goddamn snowplows. And there are mountain passes that are closed to truck traffic when the roads are bad in many states. There should be a damn plan.

It's just that in Oregon, there's a great amount of stupidity in road 'planning', a term I use loosely where Oregonisms are concerned. They keep raising our taxes and vehicle fees and the roads don't get fixed. But they always have plenty of money for fucking bicycle lanes and mass transit and studies about adding tolls to roads. And plenty of money to pay the shitbags who are looking into those things. Multi-millions for that... but they keep stealing from us.

Assbags.

Ah, but say it with me, I digress.

When we did our Thanksgiving shopping in November, the store had a 'buy $150 groceries, get a free turkey' thing going on.

So we grabbed a frozen turkey to go with the fresh one we'd picked out and tossed it into the freezer for later. When we decided to go to John Day for Christmas, we added that turkey to the meal plans. We brought everything we needed for meals for Sunday, Monday, Tuesday because groceries in that little town are astronomically priced and it pisses me off to enrich those nasty, small people who are ripping off their friends and neighbors and have been for many,many years.

We had the turkey in the ice chest, figuring that keeping a little ice on it would help it defrost but on Monday evening, Christmas eve, the thing was nothing but a
fowl brick. Haha, see what I did there? FOWL.

Stupid jokes are one of the things I do best, ask almost any kid who knows me.

So in keeping with the theme of Redneck Christmas (too much to list right now) we stuck the turkey inside a trash bag and threw it in the bathtub with cold water. Went in about every 15 minutes or so,added more cold water because it kept slowly draining out, flipped the bird brick over and went back out into the living room. It was 90 degrees in that living room. I wish I were exaggerating, but I'm not. OMGGGGGGGGGG.

My dad is cold all the time. My mom is, too. Not as much as Dad, but she likes it hot in the house. It was a real treat trying to do all the cooking in the heat. Eric did quite a bit of the work,too. He is always saying, "I'm an outdoor dog." He is,too. We drove through the 20 degree chill with his window cracked about 2 inches at the top. This isn't a thrill for me. I've complained about it for a long time. But it was a little easier this time, I bought a blanket that plugs into the lighter in the car. Except for a little breeze around my right shoulder, I was toasty for most of the journey.

I had ordered a larger version of the blanket from Amazon on December 6th. Chose to have it shipped to a package locker rather than delivered to my house since I'm in and out so much.

Three days in a row I got an email saying that the locker was full and the package could not be delivered. Then I got an email telling me that the package had been mysteriously 'damaged' and was being returned. It wasn't damaged, of course. They just fucked up on delivery.

So I ordered another one. And goddamn if it didn't happen AGAIN.

Long story. It might even show up here. But in case it doesn't, I want to make sure to tell you that their customer service SUCKS. I got transferred around eleven times, each time the person would say that some other department would be better able to help. And each time, I got no help at all.

I find it amusing that Amazon has a large presence on social media. When I looked at their FB page, it was absolutely filled with people who are angry at the crappy service.

So anyway.

There's a lot more going on. We have had some power difficulties, still have one circuit out, Eric is apparently going to try to fix that this weekend. Meanwhile, our refrig/freezer are plugged into a heavy duty extension cord, we have no lights in the kitchen or our bedroom, and it's aggravating.

But the other night, the power went out completely. When the power company came out about 11:45, they found that the cable delivering power to our house had been rubbed by our tree and had sparked and scorched the tree. Eric says that if it had been a different type of tree, we would probably have had a fire.

Meanwhile, I am scheduled to work at a regular program site, my school is still closed for the holidaze but this program is in Portland, and since I wasn't working they thought it would be a great idea for me to go there. I can't say I agree, but I managed to get a couple projects together to take in and keep hands busy.

I already know I'll hate the program, it will be chaotic and bear no resemblance to the program I run.

::sigh::

And how are YOU doing??

Gobble Gobble!

Buncha Turkeys

My bunch was craaaazy this afternoon.

James made himself a large, um, appendage with some pieces of Bionicle. Haha.. that's not the first time I've seen that, either.

The first time I saw it, it was a little girl who made herself a piece of equipment. She was in Kindergarten. Four older brothers. It wasn't strange... would have been strange if she hadn't picked up a little of the boy-type play. Still makes me laugh.

I told James that none of us needed to see that sort of play, "Now please put the Bionicles away and find something else to do."

Today was crazy hair day at school. I didn't like that stupid shit when I was in school and I don't like it now. The issue with it today was that Hayden and James had a bunch of sprayed on colors in their dark hair, and everywhere they went, they left color. Leaned against the wall by the art table... green splotches. Sat on the upholstered little chairs that are in our reading corner... green and red and blue smears on those, too.

I went around with a spray bottle of our cleaning solution and a bunch of paper towels cleaning up the colors all afternoon, actually. What a pain in the ass.

Juan lost a molar this afternoon and went around showing everyone the big bleeding big hole in his gums.

Esme was really, really happy for no apparent reason and very hand-flappy and spent a great deal of time dancing with excitement and jumping up and down.

Actually, everyone was wired. They ran around in the gym for a good half hour, tossed the little frisbee rings around, tormented each other by kicking the soccer ball away from whoever was trying to get it, and generally pissing each other off.

They didn't want to make the turkey project I had for them, no one wanted to sit.

Amelia wasn't there, she rode the bus home. Will wasn't there, they had some family come in this afternoon at the airport. I can't imagine how crazy things would have been if Will had joined us, he's very sensitive to everyone else's activity levels and sometimes gets annoying to them. As if you didn't know that.

Juan's mom was late picking him up, there was a bad accident on the freeway and traffic wasn't moving. I never worry about parents arriving a little late, I know what it's like to try to manage life and work and kids.

So now it's time for me to go bake an apple pie. Boil some eggs. Do a little more cleaning. Already did the floors and cleaned the bathroom. Folded some laundry, blah blah blah.

Matt and Amy will be coming for dinner tomorrow. Hope YOU have a good day, surrounded by family/friends/people you love.

Thanks for reading all the time... I'm not controversial or all that much fun, but there are quite a few of you checking in daily. And I appreciate it.

Holidaze

I really don't feel the holiday cheer the way I used to.

It's not an Eeyore thing, 'oh poor me I am sad' because I'm not.

My house doesn't have small people living in it anymore and I just don't feel the need to decorate with all the stuff I used to get out. I "decorated" a couple years ago with a tiny little fake tree on top of the computer desk in the living room and I think I got out the little kitchen magnets.

This year I'm not sure what I'm going to do. Probably put up some cards from friends and family, vow to myself that I'll remember to reciprocate, not manage to get around to it, say to myself in January that I should send a letter to people and tell them I'm fine and I don't seem to manage cards. And then I don't manage that, either.

:::sigh::

I'm not unhappy or depressed or any of that, either. I just don't have anyone around who's excited about decorations or presents. Eric and I don't exchange gifts, we haven't since, hmm, 1985? Both of us are fine with that, we've reached the stage where if we really want something, we figure out a way to get it.

So I'm not sure we're going to do anything in the way of celebration.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

My kids at work are already busy with their lists of stuff they want. Alex has about 800 dollars worth of NERF guns on his list.

When Colin told him that it would cost that much, Alex said, "Ah, but I'm not asking my dad for it. I'm asking Santa!"

Colin knows not to give away the secret, but Juan is another story. He loves to let people know that he knows things. He is a smart kid. And he has a deep understanding of a lot of things. But yes, he has a little bit of superiority. He knows he's smart.

He said, "You know Santa isn't real, don't you?"

There was so much going on in the room at the time that Alex seemed to miss the comment.

I waited for a couple minutes and went to the art table where Juan was sitting and working on one of his engineering drawings. He's a good artist. I sat down next to him and said quietly, "Juan, when you were a kid, did you believe in Santa?"

"Yes," he told me. "Why?"

"How did you find out there wasn't a Santa?"

"My dad told me last year."

"Okay. So you're eight years old. Alex just turned seven. And he still believes, and it makes him happy. How about we leave it up to his dad to tell him about it? It's not up to us to spoil the magic for him, is it?"

He said, "Oh, I didn't think of that."

"That's okay, Juan. Sometimes we don't think about stuff like that. But since most of the kids here still believe in Santa, let's not tell them, okay?"

He agreed.

There hasn't been a lot of speculation about Santa, they're all focused on what they're going to get.

When it does come up... when they ask me directly, I always have the same answer.

"I have never seen Santa, but he brought presents for me when I was a child. He brought presents for my kids, too, until they grew up. What did he bring YOU last year?"

And they start telling me about every gift they've ever received in their entire lives over Christmas.

Works every time.


Now I *am* painting some ornaments. I have quite a few plaster ones to paint, got them at Michael's, but they had a shitty selection this year and I ordered some from Plastercraft. I hate the quality of what they sent, though. I went to their page and tried to leave them feedback, but there's NO DAMN BUTTON to send my words.

I am contemplating actual postal mail.

I wish for you....

Best wishes for an environmentally conscious, socially responsible, low stress, non-addictive, gender-neutral, winter solstice holiday, practiced within the most joyous traditions of the religious persuasion of your choice, but with respect for the religious persuasion of others who choose to practice their own religion as well as those who choose not to practice a religion at all; plus...

A fiscally successful, personally fulfilling, and medically uncomplicated recognition of the generally accepted calendar year 2018, but not without due respect for the calendars of choice of other cultures whose contributions have helped make our society great, without regard to the race, creed, color, religious, or sexual preferences of the wishes.

Disclaimer: This greeting is subject to clarification or withdrawal. It implies no promise by the wisher to actually implement any of the wishes for her/himself or others and no responsibility for any unintended emotional stress these greetings may bring to those not caught up in the holiday spirit.

Christmas Spiders, Grammar Brain, and Jesus in the Yard.

So you know how things circulate on the Book of Face, right? This meme, that political statement, stories meant to manipulate your religious side (then, the wild-eyed man began to cry, "My kid is really sick and I just needed the money." The gas station owner was really an angel, ya know..)

Oh, and little video clips. I don't have a lot of patience for video clips. I don't like the news websites where their videos are set to auto play and no matter what you click or how forcefully you swear, you still get some fluffy bimbo nodding and head-shaking and looking sincerely into the camera as she explains the latest tragedy. It's often difficult or impossible to find the little button to click to shut her up. Which is why the sound on my computer is often turned all the way down.
Just shut up and let me read it.
Shit.

I particularly hate going to a news site, seeing a link to a story I'm interested in, clicking on it and instead of being able to read it, it's another damn video.

Of course on the other hand, the written form of the story is often full of typos and grammatical errors and drives me insane about halfway through and I don't finish reading it anyway.
I think a large part of my aggravation is the fact that people who have graduated from journalism school should be able to communicate effectively in writing. Without a ton of errors. I understand that none of us are perfect, but spell check would catch a lot of those errors.

Two of about 10 from a single story last week were 'boarderline' and 'coyotet'. Both have been queried by spell check, as they should be. You'd think the writer of the piece would pay attention to that squiggly red line.

So one of my friends posted this link the other day.
Christmas spiders.
It's a fun little video, but if you're like me, you might get exasperated and not want to watch.
But it's short and cute.

 


Now the reason I had this on my mind was twofold.

First, we're into the season of making a project a day until school is out for the holidaze. Something I haven't done in years is the little Christmas spider ornament. Last time we made them in a program was about 2010, I think. There are several little stories that one can print out to go with it.

The story originated in the Ukraine by most accounts. Some stories have Santa or Father Christmas and some the Christ Child. In some cultures, that's who brings the presents. So I was looking up stories to combine and make my own to print out to go with the ornaments.

While I was doing that, I looked to the left of my computer screen and right next to the charger cord for the laptop was this adorable little black jumping spider, rubbing his little pedipalps together. Probably in anticipation of a meal, as I'm pretty sure every spider in my home wants to eat me for dinner.

I had to keep an eye on it, because the damn things have a habit of disappearing when I go look for a cup to catch them in, so I called Eric in to get it. He put the little guy outside, where he probably froze his little spider ass off, but I can't keep them in the house. Can't.

And.
Jesus.

This time of year, there's a lot of that going on.

Jesus on the roof, in the living room windows, on lapel pins, in the grocery store. And in the yards of friends and neighbors everywhere.

Our neighbors across the street have a lighted scene in their front yard, the big plastic blow-molded people. It's tawdry and over the top and tacky. But I love it. It makes me smile every time I get into my car and glance over there. Almost as much as Santa's baby.

Here are a few more nativities (Lyssa made both of the ones I just linked)
that made me smile.

The holy ghost?

This one should include a unicorn looking on, don't you think?

And this one needs more beastly critters, I think.

Fireworks

Do you go?
We used to.

Our 4th of July in 1980 was spent in Ouray, Colorado. We swam, hung out and then sat on a blanket on the hood of the car and watched the fireworks being launched over the canyon. It really is spectacular to see them that way.

We talked about a lot of things that day, and by the end of the evening, we were talking about what things would be like 'when we are married'. There was no big romantic proposal. It was just a natural thing.

I'd still marry him today, so I guess it worked out.

We went to many different fireworks displays over the years. Our first one after marriage was Delta, Colorado. It was memorable because I got off work early so we could go. It felt like skipping school.

We caught the fireworks at Disneyland once or twice, too. We lived about an hour away for quite awhile and my aunt lived just blocks away. If we happened to be visiting her, we could see them at 10 every night.

Fort Vancouver, billed as the largest display West of the Mississippi, has an amazing show. But it's crazy crowded. Thousands and thousands and thousands of people, all squished into an area too small. Concert at night, vendors of all kinds of crap during the day and horrendous traffic. It's just not worth the trouble.

When the kids were little, we scraped a little money together over the space of several months so we'd have enough to go buy fireworks for them. We joked that we could have just burned a hundred dollar bill in the street, but it wouldn't have been as much fun.

They seemed to enjoy it, but eventually outgrew it. We stopped when they were about 16 and 10.

We occasionally took them to see a big public display, but the last one we went to was so crowded and so dangerous that we just stopped going. There were signs telling you not to bring your personal fireworks, but that didn't stop people. There were small children lighting their own and running through the crowd, there were fireworks going off above the little lawn where we sat and no one seemed to be watching their kids at all.

It's a lot like other things we no longer do (movie theaters!! Campgrounds!) because of crowds and large doses of stupid/shitty manners... easier just to avoid it than have to be stressed out/worried/pissed off the whole time we're there.

I don't always want to go back in time, but I really enjoyed the fireworks when I was a kid/young adult. Also, my feet didn't hurt. :-D

So do you do fireworks?