Unmask! Unmask!

The state of Oregon announced last week that March 31st they're going to lift the general mask mandate.

However.
Businesses can set their own standards.
Decide whether or not to require people to mask up.

They're going to let individual school districts decide whether or not to remain masked, too.

I hope they continue masking in school at least through this school year.

I'm not particularly afraid of THE virus, as I have had the requisite vaccinations (couldn't go back to work without them but I would have gotten the shot anyway) close exposure three times I'm aware of and of course I am currently working inside two public schools. (Can you say 'belly of the beast'?)

Buutt... Since 2004 I've been working inside public schools. Although I don't get every bug that goes past, I do get sick often, especially if I haven't worked during the summer preceding the school year.

Most years, I run a little fever most of the month of October. Sometimes into November. It's my personal theory that my immune system is racing around putting out fires because the atmosphere around 400 building-confined, booger-picking, butt-digging, sneezing, coughing, look-I-have-a-loose-tooth young humans is full of pathogens.

I am grateful for the masks, because whether or not they are keeping the virus droplets from spreading (ftr, I think they DO work for that), when a child is masked, they don't sneeze on the top of the table (or in your face), they don't pick their noses, they don't show you their loose teeth... you probably get the idea.

So I have appreciated the extra layer of germ protection provided by the masks. And yes, it is kind of a pain in the ass to wear one. The benefits though...

I've heard people call a mask a 'face diaper' (ooooo, so edgy!) and suggest that anyone who wears one is stupid or you know, pick your pejorative. Many to choose from.

"I'm INDEPENDENT! I don't have to do what all you sheeple are doing!"

If you don't want to wear a mask then stay home and order your groceries.

While you're at it, dose up on horse de-wormer and drink your own piss. Take extra vitamins (but watch out for the possibility of kidney stones) because that's what all the smart guys are doing to show how tough they are. To show the rest of us they've 'done their research'.

My own extended family contains people who think that Ivermectin cures, well, just about anything, and that not only should you drink your own pee, you should rinse your eyes and sinuses with it.

I knew people who've died from the virus.
Others who were horribly ill and will have issues for the rest of their lives.
Co-workers who have lost a spouse or a child.

I have friends who work in the medical field, too. They're not lying to me about the things they've seen. God.

It's not a joke or a hoax, and if the simple act of wearing a mask could help keep someone else from becoming ill, why wouldn't I wear one?

Because we live in Oregon where masks have been required since this started, people usually wear them anyway.

When I go to the grocery store or into other businesses, there is a person stationed at the door reminding people to wear a mask/handing out free paper ones to those who aren't wearing one.

Most people just put the mask on, but others, intent on showing the poor sap who drew the short straw for the day JUST how much their own (wo)man they are, pitch a fit.

Like a fucking toddler.

Calling the store employee names and yelling makes people look your way. But just so you know, people aren't staring because you (generic you, of course) look independent and strong. They're staring because you look like an asshole.

Then those edgy people make a production of striding about, mask under their chin or just below their nose and glare at everyone around them.
What a bunch of babies.

I've heard people complaining that 'the science is always changing!' regarding the virus and masks and precautions.

Well, um, yes.
That's actually part of science.

Learn about stuff, add that knowledge. Change your theory. Keep learning.

The main goal of science is to build knowledge and understanding.

Anyone who doesn't understand why science changes hasn't really done their research, now have they?

Faaackkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk

I swear.

I suppose that's obvious.

Haha, I've had a potty mouth most of my life... and so does Eric.

I was talking about that with my mom one time and I commented, "Eric can't even refer to a pine tree without the F word."

Two beats, then she said cluelessly, "Doesn't Eric like pine trees?"

I have laughed over that one many times.
I'm snickering now, actually.

Doesn't Eric like pine trees... lololol.


But what I mean is, 'I swear, it's one damn thing after another' or something like that.
SO.
Frustrated.

Apparently I'm getting the storage I asked for 'sometime' this week.
Not as worried about the actual day as the fact that it's actually been said. In writing. An email was sent to the principal to confirm, I was copied on it.

So now I won't have to rage quit over that.

But I don't work for a company that misses opportunities to aggravate me and we've moved on to the next fucking thing.

Vaccinations.

I got mine as soon as I could. Went to the Oregon Convention Center, joined the line of people wending and winding their way through in mid-February, did it again a few weeks later and had the 2nd dose by March 9th.

Not only do I have co-morbidities, I had already figured out that no one would be allowed to work in public schools without it and dammit, I love(d) my job.

I was right about the rule. No vax, no job.

So it wasn't a big deal when I started my new job, I'd already been vaxxed and waxed and all that. Gave a copy of my certificate to the manager person and I've been at my job about six weeks now.

So let me backtrack here... our company no longer has an HR department, what we have is an online 'service' (now that's a funny fuckin' way to describe it) where we clock in and out and can view our stuff in one place.

We were told last week that we needed to visit the website and upload a copy of our certificate to them.

The next email gave us detailed instructions on how to do that.
I sat down at my computer SEVEN TIMES over the past week and tried to do what they'd requested. I'm not a programmer or an IT person, but I can usually make the computer do what I need it to do. I don't ask my computer or my phone or my tablet to do anything like manual labor, though.

So we've received a few more emails in the interim. The tone became more and more threatening, with the latest notification that 'if you don't do this then you won't be scheduled to work on Monday'.

Dafuq?

I got my goddamn shot. I have the paper to prove it. But because YOUR system is shit, I am being warned that I might not be able to work on Monday the 18th?

Well fuck you very much!

If we had an actual HR department, which we DID until the pandemic and new CEO, we'd be invited to the office to work on this issue and helped rather than being threatened like children.

I know the answer to this already... but does a company who pulls shit like that actually value the people who contribute life and limb and heart and soul to their bottom line?

Like I said, fuck you very much.

I need to rethink my whole life now, so if you'll excuse me...

::snork:::

I have all kinds of thoughts about people getting vaccinated. It's a lot like wearing a mask... might save someone's life.
Even yours.

Many people aren't getting the shot, basing their hesitance on the dumb fucks at fox news... and those shitbags have been vaccinated! Tucker and Laura and all the other little assholes got their shot. But they're telling YOU not to.

Whatever. I know people who won't get a shot. I can't change their mind(s) but that's not my goddamn job.

I read a post last week from one of my brothers. He believes (or says he believes) that the shot will 'change your DNA' and then the angels won't recognize you when you get to heaven and they will turn you away.

M'kay.

I've read other really stupid thoughts about it, but my very favorite was on Twitter this week in several different posts I read. It's weird. One person will come up with some crazy shit and other people will either retweet or add to it and make it their own.
But really.
Seriously.

"If you get this devil-made vaccine, you will TASTE GOD'S FURRY!"

Yeah, that's how they typed it.
Still laughing over it.

So yeah. Don't get the shot. 

Not only will you be tracked by Bill Gates, glow in the dark, have a 5G network built in and probably DIE, you won't get into heaven if you do!

And unless you want to taste God's Furry, best to steer clear.

Ever wonder how people become so stupid?

Yeah. Me too.

Holy whap, Batman!

So about 12 hours post-injection (a little before midnight) it hit me.

Fever, aches, a general holy cow I feel like crap thing. I got up to pee and had to hold on to furniture and the wall because I felt more than a little wobbly.

I was sick until 10 AM, then still deeply tired. Ended up staying in bed until after noon.

But then I got up and ate some leftover spaghetti, stood under hot water in the shower for about 10 minutes and got dressed, did my hair, wrote the grocery list and went out for the weekly shopping expedition with the man.

I am not feeling 100% yet, but much better.

I'm sure that once I get past the general blahs, I'll be even better because it means I have at least some immunity to the virus and can hopefully go back to work, if not immediately then when school opens again in the fall.

Ran into one of 'my' parents at the grocery store this afternoon, too.
Esme's mom.

I told her to tell Esme how much I miss her. She said Esme is having a hard time being out of school so long, that she misses her teachers and life as she knew it. This is her first year in middle school, but of course it's all been virtual. She's very social, although confused by most regular social interactions. As mean and snotty and bitchy as some middle school girls can be, I feel like it's not necessarily a bad thing that Esme isn't in school right now.

So Esme texted me this evening, asked me what I've been up to and what I have been creating lately. I texted her some pictures of a few of my acrylic paintings, now she wants to try it. I wish I could set her up with supplies and hang out, helping her with it.

I know I've already said it, but it really is easy. The step by step instructions provided at no charge are wonderful and I've had fun learning a new skill.

My art will never make me famous, but I'm not doing it for that purpose, I'm just having fun.

I hope that going through the vaccination process/illness means I will be able to teach some kids to paint sometime soon.

:::sigh:::

It's going around...

What's going around?
Not the virus.
Well, yes, the virus.

But that's not what I'm referring to.

PRIVILEGE!!
That's what's going around... riding piggyback on assholes. Ha.
There's something wrong with the grammar on that, too... but I don't care.

I went to the Convention Center today for my 2nd vaccine dose.
I got Pfizer the first time, which means I was put in the line for Pfizer the 2nd time. So far, so good.

The line moved a little slower this time.
There were a lot more people there.

The gentleman (I use the term loosely) directly behind me was on his phone. He was one of those guys you see from time to time in a public place.

A VERY INFLUENTIAL man who can't possibly put the fucking phone down and shut the hell up while in public.

Mr. Big was gesturing with one arm while spouting such phrases as, "Well unless we get that contract signed today, we'll have to start over!!"
"What do you mean you haven't found that file!?"
"Let me talk to Larson. He needs to be in the loop!"

The guy was really annoying. People were looking at him and rolling their eyes. He looked like an asshole, frankly, and I'm not referring to his physical appearance.

But the line moved along at a good pace until we got about five spaces away from the front.

Then the line was held up because a very tiny elderly lady in a wheelchair, being propelled along by her daughter was approaching. The lady who was directing traffic at the front of the line held up a hand to us to stop us moving and beckoned the lady in the wheelchair forward.

The lady and her daughter were grateful and thanked the person.

Mr. Big was pissed as hell, though.

"Why does SHE get to cut the line?!?" he demanded. "We were here first!"

Traffic lady was polite and said calmly, "Sir, we prioritize people with disabilities."

He sputtered. Looked around at the rest of us to gauge our amount of support. Found none.

"Well I just don't think it's right that people can cut the line!" he said.

I was aggravated. I don't usually say anything, I'm an outspoken smartassy person here, but in public I generally keep my mouth closed.

This was not one of those times, though.
I said, "Jesus, Buddy, what's it going to cost you? 10 seconds?"

He made some sort of incoherent noise and resumed barking orders into his phone.
The line started up again.

I went to a table, dropped the left sleeve of my sweatshirt, asked her to refrain from putting a bandage on and got my shot.

The person who administers the vaccine tells you how long you'll need to wait post-injection. I was issued a fluorescent orange strip with 11:25 written on it and sent to the waiting area.

Mr. Big was seated about four chairs away from me, still issuing orders at  unreasonable volume over his phone.

His sticker said the same as mine, 11:25.
He got up and stalked out at 11:15.
What an ass.

So I told Eric about the experience with Mr. Big, he said, "You should have told him, 'If you're so important you can get in front of me! Then we won't have to listen to you so long!"

Sometimes I don't know the right thing to say at the right time, I guess.
Woulda been funny,  though.

Tonight I feel okay. I have some soreness at the injection site, but I don't feel sick, achy or feverish. I am pretty tired, but that may just be from getting up early and walking and walking and walking.

I am heading for bed in a few minutes, I'm sure I'll sleep like a brick.

Sharp Stick and Cookies

Everyone has heard 'better than a slap in the face with a wet fish' or  'better than a poke in the eye with a sharp stick' right?

Thursday is sharp stick day for me...(and I'd prefer zero wet fish, thankyouverymuch)

Time for the 2nd vaccination.
Supposed to be the one that makes you feel like crap.

If the vaccine is effective, and from what I understand, it is, then I suppose feeling like shit for a day or so is worth the effort of getting up early, doing the whole shower/dress/drive to the MAX and go to the Convention Center again thing.

I learned last time that certain seats on the train are warmer in the morning chill.
One has to choose a seat away from the doors.

The little 3 seat area where only one person can sit due to Covid restrictions is perfect. I will be getting on the train waaaay out here so I'll have a seat pretty much where I want.

It's not as easy heading back this way, but not too bad, at least if last time is any indicator.

I should be back home by noonish, hopefully won't feel too crappy. My doctor told me this week that I should not take anything for the discomfort prior to the shot, that I should wait until afterward. I have read/heard that multiple times over the last couple months and still am not sure WHY I should do it that way, but whatever.

Stocked up on groceries and ready to toss some spaghetti sauce in a pan and have it ready for dinner tomorrow night. If I feel too awful, I will get Lyssa to help me. She is a really good cook these days.

So wish me luck. I want to get the vaccine so I can get back to work. Those shitbags in DC think all unemployed people are just sitting around collecting money and doing nothing. They don't like it because they think THEY are the only ones who should have a right to be paid even though they're not working. What a bunch of fucksticks.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I drove up to 'my' school this afternoon to pick up an order of Girl Scout cookies.
Most convenient for me and for the leader to meet up there.

I was surprised at the emotional response I had when I drove into the parking lot, though. It's not a secret that I miss my job every day. Miss the kids. Miss making crafts with them and their enjoyment of all the little things they get up to.

I won't be surprised if the horrible company I used to work for and Fluffy's ass-kissing flunky at the district offices will use the pandemic as the excuse to not invite me back.
(The preceding sentence is horrible grammatically and I'm just too tired to mess with it. If you can't figure it out, send me an email and I'll help.)

The worst thing about that possibility of being kicked out permanently through NO FAULT of my own is that I am completely powerless to do anything at all about it and it makes me angry.

I ran into that bitch a couple times and went the other way. I  wasn't ready with something to say to her.

Now I am.

And I won't say it quietly. Even if a miracle happens and I manage to get my space back, I would still say the same thing if I saw her.

I'd loudly ask, "So, still hiring child-grooming assholes to harm kids at (name of company)?"

I'll bet she won't want to stay and chat.

Okay. Time to take my grumpy self to bed. I'm tired anyway.

::yawn:::

 When I go to bed at night I lie there and think, 'oh I should write about _____.'

Some of the ideas are actually good ones.
Then I sleep. And sleep and sleep. I get up at 10. Or 11. No matter what time it is, I have to MAKE myself get out of bed.

Now before you go all aghast, I don't usually go to bed until midnight-ish. Maybe a little before, but then I lie there awake.

I finally fall asleep only to wake up when Eric gets up to pee. And, since I'm 60 years old, apparently the pee fairy thinks I need to pee, too. If for some reason I manage to go back to sleep instead, it's usually about an hour before the pee fairy whaps me upside the head, laughing maniacally, and tells me to get the fuck up and go pee. Usually adding I told you so and what, you think you're 20 again?

Aggravating. But I don't have a clue what to do about it.

He gets up at 4:40, and I usually wake up then, too. I get up to pee AGAIN. Then, since I'm up already, I wait for him to get dressed and join me in the kitchen so I can send him off for the day with a hug. I still love the guy. I appreciate how hard he works and how many hours he puts in to take care of me. He's a good man and I'm lucky to have him.

I go back to bed, of course. And I end up lying there until six or seven or sometimes even 8 before I can drift back off to sleep.

I know, 'why don't you get up'.
Because then I'd end up having to take a nap in the middle of the afternoon and mess up making dinner for the guy. Which is something I love doing. I haven't cooked much in many years since my schedule is so wonky. Me getting home between 6:30 and 7 PM means that it's usually Eric cooking, at least while the world is open.

So that broken sleep/awake/sleep/awake thing's going on nightly.
I'm tired and crabby.

I don't know about you, but I just have no volition. The house is a mess. Although I've been staying mostly caught up with laundry and dishes, so that's something. Or maybe I just want it to be something but it's really more like nothing.

I received the first dose of the vaccine on the 9th.
Had to go to the Oregon Convention Center for it.

I had planned to drive, if you're going there for vaccinations parking is free. But it *is* a little hectic driving down there, so after some deliberation (and conversation with the man) I decided to ride the train.

I'm sure you and the passengers are relieved to know that I did not sing any karaoke on the train, although I'd planned to if I drove.

And because I take situational awareness very seriously, I don't listen to anything on my headphones. I plug them into my ears, though. It's almost like wearing a 'do not disturb' sign around your neck.

Seems to be a conversational deterrent, at least.
I prefer to be completely left alone but I want to hear everything that's going on around me.
 
They're running trains at limited capacity, so instead of waiting 20 minutes between trains it was about seven. One nice thing about the plague, I guess. Except riding the train is a little sketchy at times. Or rather some of the people who get off and on are a little... strange.

First, everyone is supposed to wear a mask.
Of course there are always a couple assholes that can't manage to follow simple instructions, whether in the store or on the train. Either the mask is hanging around their neck, off one ear or missing completely. Then you get the I'm-sort-of-complying-but-fuck-you-I-don't-care-if-you-die crowd who wear it but defiantly below their noses because they're too fucking stupid to realize their noses are connected to their respiratory systems.

There are masks available ON THE DAMN TRAIN in a little box mounted on one of the panels next to the doors. But there was at least one unmasked asshole going both directions.

And there was one interesting critter who got on the train where I did, got off the stop before mine, then got back on the damn train when I was on my way home an hour later.

He was not sober. Twitchy and definitely hopped up on something. He frantically paced the aisle of the train, back and forth and back and forth and back and forth. Gesticulating wildly, hands flying, carrying on an urgent discussion with someone no one else could see. He was tall, probably about 6'5". I know he weighed more than 40 lbs, but he was pretty scrawny.
No mask, of course.

He was not really present, if ya know what I mean.

I didn't make eye contact with him. Didn't act like I could even hear his commentary. Oh I heard the sounds, but he may as well have been reading random words from a list.

It was... interesting.

Okay, so I made it to the Convention Center.

They have things incredibly organized, I did not have to stand and wait at all. They kept the line moving quickly, I was handed papers to fill out (brought my own pen) and as soon as the papers were ready, followed the handy arrows on the floor to the big room where the shots were being administered.

In answer to 'are you allergic to any foods' and 'have you ever had a reaction to a vaccine' I explained the reaction I'd had to a tetanus shot a LONG time ago and the weird relatively recent apple reaction.

So instead of the regulation 15 minutes, I was asked to stay for half an hour in the waiting area after the injection.

The person who gave me the shot was very good, there was ZERO pain. I  swear to you that I didn't even notice it. Likewise the bandage she slapped on. I'll have to remember to ask them to NOT bandage it next time, I get a little contact dermatitis from the adhesive and it's NOT FUN to have an itch that hurts like hell  when you scratch it, especially during your already broken sleep.

I was issued a sticker with a time written on it in sharpie and directed to a waiting area, full of other people who'd been shot around the same time.

I did not look at the sticker, thinking that I had to wait until 11:20. This was because I didn't know what time I'd been injected, although I should have, there were BIG RED DIGITAL CLOCKS in three places around the room.

But I put in my headphones, turned on some music and ignored most of the universe until then.

I got up and left. On my way out, I peeled the sticker off and saw that it said 11:05. So I listened to a few extra minutes of music, which isn't a bad way for me to waste time.

No reaction at the time, other than the surreal feeling I had over all of it.
I was given the Pfizer vaccine, although from what I've learned, it really doesn't matter which one. It's apparently 85% effective with the first dose, which makes me feel a little safer than I felt before. I will feel a lot better after dose #2, which happens on the 4th of March.

I had some residual soreness in the muscle of my left arm. Three days worth, give or take, although day #2 was the worst of it.

My understanding is that the second dose is the one that will make me feel like crap for a couple days, although it does not do that to everyone. I am hoping I'll be one of the lucky ones and feel okay.

After the requisite two weeks post-injection, I can call my employer and see if they have anything for me. I'm guessing they won't until school starts in the fall, but I do know they definitely want me back.

And I want to go back. I love working for this organization, and of course I've always loved the work itself. I miss the kids, I miss the craft projects and the silliness and the drama and the camaraderie and the hot battery smell of a crowd of busy kids.

So how are you doing?
Miss me?

I've been less-than-motivated to write, too. And haven't been reading blogs. I plan to make the rounds here in the next couple days.

I think I'm back?

Shoot me.

I cannot go back to work at the job I love until I have been vaccinated against the plague because the schools aren't allowing our staff or any other childcare staff back in until they've received the vaccine.

So on the 23rd of January vaccine availability opened up for teachers/childcare workers, but it's been impossible to schedule an appointment. One goes to the website and clicks through all the steps, only to get either an error message or an endless little spinny circle thing that just goes round and round and never finishes loading.

Until tonight.
Time for a shot.
Which I typoed as shit, but fixed before publication.

Just shoot me.

I have a morning appointment on February 9th at the Oregon Convention Center for the first dose. Apparently they schedule the second dose when you're there for the first one.
I'm not full of enthusiasm because it's an unknown.
I know that many of the usual steps for vaccine release were not followed because of the urgency of this, so I'm a little nervous about long-term effects. I've read as much as I can about it and I'm not scared away, but still.

Also not a fan of driving down there and messing with parking, but I won't take public transportation right now, so I'll be heading down there in my car.

On the good side, karaoke!
I put a karaoke CD in and sing until I arrive at my destination.

In other news I'm still painting little pictures.

Last weekend I took a buttload of stuff back to Kohl's/UPS store to return to Amazon. It ended up being a little over a hundred and fifty bucks, which I don't get back, it just goes on an Amazon gift card.

On the good side of that?
It's like free money!

So I ordered another stack of canvas panels (I used to hate canvas, now  it's sort of fun to use) and a tabletop easel.

I have watched a bunch of tutorials on YouTube as well as the book o' Face and haven't decided what to paint next. So  many possibilities.

I have painted some of the ones I've already done in a smaller version on cardstock and sent out a few cards to friends.

I still owe a few because people sent me cards over the holidaze.
But I have to admit it's sort of fun to paint the stuff on cardstock, by necessity it's a little smaller than the standard canvas. So far the people who have received one seem appreciative, but you know, I do that when kids bring me art they have made for me.

Huh.

So if you haven't been vaccinated yet, are you planning to get it when it becomes available? And if yes, would you be singing karaoke on the way there?

IANAL

Don't get too excited there... simply means I Am Not A Lawyer.
Do you need to be one to have a good bullshit detector? I don't think so.


I've spent the month since the election reading everything I can get my hands on. Not only things that say what I want, either. I've read a great deal from the other side, too.

I see why they think they're right, but I don't agree with them.

Trump lost. There was a huge uprising among the voting public after four years of the most appalling and crazy shit most of us have ever seen from a president.

Like the photo below, where he mocked a reporter with a disability.

More people voted against him than for him. That's it.


Serious question here... can't trust:
Media.
ALLLL the poll workers and observers and hired election officials.
Can't trust the 'deep state'.
Can't trust ANYONE who says the election was fair.


Who can we trust?
Ohhh... only Donald and his assclown parade.
Yeah, that's not a problem at ALL.

Okay, so here's what happened.
More than six months ago, Trump started bleating about cheating.

Claiming far in advance that he wasn't going to lose 'unless the other side cheats'.

He went on and on about how unsafe it would be to mail your ballot in.
Unsafe to vote early, too!
Wait until Election Day!!

All his little criminal friends who constantly surround him and lick his butt boots pushed the same narrative.

Trump and Lindsey Graham, enjoying a moment

And his cult followers obediently said, "I shall not vote by mail, Sir."
Of course ignoring the fact that Trump himself was planning to vote by mail.
And that voting by mail has been going on for a long time without issues.

Then he hired big donor DeJoy to run fuck things up at the post office.

He would have succeeded, too, but too many people talked about what was going on. Decommissioned sorting machines and a deliberate slowing of the mail didn't do as much damage as they'd planned.

Many Republican states made rules that the mail in/early ballots MUST NOT be counted until after the election.

So you know all those people who waited in line for hours and hours and hours to vote early? They weren't waiting in line to vote for Trump. It's a pretty safe bet that most of the mail in ballots weren't cast in Trump's favor, either.

So the Trumpkins voted on election day.
The mail in/early votes in many states weren't counted until the next few days. Which is why it looked like Trump was winning. Until the ballots which were overwhelmingly Democrat were counted and then, well, then he lost. Because more people voted for Biden. Simple arithmetic.

He and his minions have filed all kinds of cases in several states. Which is what he does... he litigates when things don't go his way. It's how he's done things his whole life, why would he change now?


Now we have BILL BARR saying there is no evidence of election fraud.
Trump's good buddy BILL FUCKING BARR. (Trump is considering firing him, I read yesterday. He does that when people don't agree with him.)

There are people making death threats to election workers who are just doing their jobs, too.

And the milquetoast fuckweasel Republicans who are saying nothing... they're complicit when something bad happens to one of those people just doing his/her job.

Sure, if there is legal proof that something happened, then for goodness sake bring that proof out in court. But over 50 cases later, there's been hearsay,  conjecture, grandstanding, "hearings" which aren't legal hearings. They're theater, held in hotel conference rooms.

So far, zero real evidence has been presented IN A COURT OF LAW.

Lining up a bunch of idiots to 'testify' in hotel conference rooms is completely meaningless.

Just thinking it happened because Trump said so or Melting Rudy 'just has a feeling' is not evidence. And the continual, "We have LOTS AND LOTS of evidence" and "many people are saying"  but it's never shown in court... well, that's not evidence either.

When they allege fraud outside the courtroom for the cameras, then very carefully do NOT allege fraud in the courtroom, that should be telling even the most ardent skeptic something.

When in court they are only trying to toss the votes that didn't go along with them winning. And mysteriously aren't arguing with the people elected down the ballot, only disagreeing with a few counties in a few states that didn't go their way in the presidential election.

They took it all the way to the highest court, where people Trump put there through abuses of presidential power (solely for this purpose) didn't support his attempt to steal the election.

And no, there were not two 'dissenting opinions'. He's a graceless clod. Burning down the country on his way out.

He's putting himself first, whining about losing. He can't admit that there were more people who wanted him out than those who wanted him to continue not doing his job for four more years. He has done nothing for the country he claims to love since the election, just thrown tantrums and caused more deaths.

I don't understand it.

The 'dead people' who voted? No one has proven anything of the sort.
Likewise the 'millions' who voted "hundreds of times".
NONE of these things have been proven and no real evidence has been shown.

The link leads to a clear, straightforward discussion of each of the pieces of 'evidence' as they call it. It is worth reading.

Oh yeah, all those 'sworn affadavits'... none of those were brought to an actual legal court hearing, either. Why? Because as a lawyer, you get in trouble for shenanigans like those in a real court of law.

Trump failed to act when we were hit with the pandemic, instead turning masks and caution into political statements, mocking people who took those measures and now nearly 300,000 people are dead.

He refused to listen to the experts.
He set a shitty example, and so did his family.

I can't say he's done anything worth a shit as president, but throwing up his hands and repeatedly saying, "We're turning the corner!" sure as fuck didn't do anything to help.

The superspreader rallies he held while he was hoping people would elect him again and the ensuing infections/deaths? I don't understand how his cult still followed him after that.

He's taken in millions and millions for his PAC since the election, too. And a cursory reading of the fine print should have let people  know that almost zero was going to any attempts to steal the election, instead going into the pockets of the morally bankrupt family instead. But no, he keeps getting money. Which is why he won't admit he lost the election.

The same kind of people who send money to televangelists are sending money to Trump. Easily duped and weak minded individuals.

I *am* a little tired of the self-serving whining about how Trump hijacked the GOP, though. What really happened is that the GOP created the conditions that made it possible for the shitbag to con his way into the office in the first place. And fuck those people like Lindsey Graham and Ted Cruz who hated Trump, spoke out against him (look up what Trump said about Teddy's wife!!) and now have somehow have flipped their allegiance and act all sanctimonious and self-righteous while they kiss Trump's ass.

I've been ready for things to be over for a long time.

As a country, we need to address the extreme amount of time between election and the start of a new administration. We're no longer dependent on people carrying messages by horseback, we can do things a lot faster.

He needs to be gone. He has killed enough.

a little help from my friends

I don't have to tell you that the economy isn't doing well right now.

The regular people (those of us who don't have stocks or, you know, a fucking JOB, schools are still closed here) are starting to get a little worried.

I got a notice in the mail on Saturday that my regular unemployment benefits have run out.  I applied for the extension, but they don't make it easy.

I had to download a pdf file, open it in a different program so I could fill out the paperwork, then upload it. Our state-run unemployment department has had a lot of trouble this year.

They can't keep up with the workload, the money that was given to them by the state to update their systems, well, no one knows where that money actually went. They're still making people have what they call 'the waiting week' during which you can't collect, they make you wait. Now they've said that everyone who got hit with the waiting week will eventually be paid for that week, but I'm not holding my breath.

And if I somehow messed up filing for the extension, it will be nearly impossible for me to get someone on the other end of the phone. There are people who gave up after trying to get through for weeks at a time. You have to dial, hang up, dial, hang up, dial, hang up... well, you get it. I'm crossing my fingers that I did everything right and can continue to collect unemployment a little longer.

Not that it's a great amount. I have to spend 75% of it for my healthcare premiums.

It's okay. Bills are paid, roof over the head, food in the freezer and in the cupboards. We have plenty of stuff and we're not hurting. Money in savings and while we're not the most frugal people I know, I  am still pretty cheap.

This weekend, Matt came over to help clean out the shed a bit. There's a lot of miscellaneous stuff that needs to go OUT the door, we have no use for about 90% of the crap we had stored out there.

I put a bunch of things on the local Buy Nothing group.

Some of Eric's fleece shirts that were a little snug for him, assorted yarn and craft materials, circular knitters, a craft tote, kid art supplies. Just... stuff.

It wasn't more than five minutes before someone asked for the fleece shirts, her husband is 'freezing at work' right now. And just like so many other people, only one person in their house is at work these days. So I was really happy to give them to someone who can really use them. During our messaging back and forth to arrange pickup, I told her that we also have a bunch of long sleeved poly undershirts if she was interested? Oh yes. Very.

On the posts with things for children are several comments that they'd like them for holiday gift giving. It's hard to choose someone, so I assign each of them a number and draw one. I can't think of a way to be more fair than that.

But imagine your circumstances being so dire that you are willing to take someone's free (used... gently, but still used) stuff to give to your kid(s) for Christmas?

I'm glad to give the stuff away, but it makes me sad at the same time. I wish I could tuck  a couple hundred into each little bag of stuff as it goes out the door. Or take all those families shopping and just pay for everything they need. It would make me feel so good.

On the good side, if there is one, I am now motivated to go through even more crap and try to find things that would be welcome for gift-giving and get rid of those on the local buy nothing group, too.

Every time we've needed help, it has happened for us. Sometimes from the most unexpected places. I like to think that passing it on is the best way to show my appreciation for what I've been given.

You might be an asshole.

If you can't keep your distance from other people when you're in a store... you might be an asshole.

Wait your goddamn turn to grab a bag of rice or a can of refried beans. Geez.

If you're in that big of a hurry, you should have left your home earlier.
If you're impatient while someone is getting a gallon of milk or standing in front of the toothbrush display trying to figure out which one they want and you sigh, tap your foot, roll your eyes or otherwise show with your body language or your attitude that you're much more important than the other guy, you might be an asshole.

If you're in a big-assed hurry to get out of the store and you go out the entrance door and run over me while doing so, why, I believe you're an asshole.
It's a lot worse when you are a store employee and you don't even excuse yourself.

Dickhead.
Oh. And wearing a mask is a mandatory thing in the state of Oregon, stop your goddamn whining, put the mask on, do your shopping and go the fuck home.
If you're trying to go into a store and you yell at/argue with the person who's stationed at the entrance to make sure everyone is wearing a mask (aka doing their job under some really stressful circumstances) you might be an asshole.

If you're doing the yelling while other people are waiting for you to shut up because they're waiting in line and can't go in until you either go in or GTFO... you might be an asshole.

No, wait. That one definitely makes you an asshole.

So stay home.
Please. 
Pay someone to do your shopping for you.

The grocery stores have that service, too.
So do craft stores and home improvement stores. Restaurants, too. You go online, you order your stuff, you pay for it, then you go pick it up. They will bring it out to you!

Or hey!!
Order your stuff from Amazon.

You have a ton of easy choices.
Please don't choose being an asshole as your number one?

Thanks. Have a nice day.

Cover your face if you're going out. Unless you're my mom. Then you're not allowed to go out.

Our county is starting to open again.
I don't know if it's a good idea, I really don't.
There have been many things said regarding how to keep safe.
Wear a mask.
Don't wear a mask.
Don't wear this kind, wear that kind.

We're to take precautions in Multnomah county, starting on Wednesday of the upcoming week, we all have to wear masks when we go into stores or whatever.

I'm okay with that, my understanding is that my wearing a mask keeps other people safe, and the other people wearing them keeps me safe. Or safer, actually. I don't think anything is safe right now.

Eric hates the idea. He will wear one, but he'll hate it. And the disposable ones aren't a lot of fun, really.

So about those masks. I had an online friend who said she was going to send me 10 of them, it was a thing she was doing for free to help other people. I had planned to send her a check for postage at least, so that she could send masks to still more, but then she never sent them.

I had asked for them while I still thought I'd have a job, thinking I'd have to wash them, so I needed a few.
Now I don't know if I have a job.

But then Lyssa and Mason moved in and I realized we were going to need more.

I messaged my online friend again, she said, "Oh gee, I thought I'd sent them all out, let me check!"
And then nothing again.

::sigh::

So I have some disposable ones, and they work, but I hate them.
Blech.
I have made a few no-sew masks from t shirt material, but that's a pain in the ass.

So I'm keeping my eyes open for someone local who might be selling some I can afford. I've seen so many ads on FB for 10 and 12 bucks apiece... no can do, at least not in any decent quantity. Checked Amazon, too. Funny how many of them look like they were made from sports bras.

But I went to get my hair cut today.
After it's been growing for 105 days.
Holy cow.
She cut two inches off, everything is all layered and shaped again.

I'm sure after I take the time to wash and dry it again, it will be fine. She always does a good job.

During her time off, where she wasn't making any money, she made a bunch of masks. I bought one from her today, mostly because I knew it would help her out.

I *can* sew. But it would take me ages for each one and stress me the hell out.

I'll stick with disposable ones for now, I think.

Speaking of stress.
My dad is worried that he's going to catch the virus and die.
He also expected that with H1N1 and SARS.

He's been controlling my mom forever, so she's accustomed to doing whatever he tells her to do. It frustrates the shit out of me, but of course that doesn't help. Mom isn't allowed to go get her hair cut or do anything, really.

They had ONE case in their county in early March.
It was resolved, the person recovered.
And that was it.

Doesn't matter. There is no common sense with his paranoia and anger.
And if I let myself think about it, I get angry, too.

I try not to say a lot about it to my mom, she doesn't know any better. It doesn't help her feel better. It doesn't make her stronger and able to fend for herself, either.

She's allowed him to tell her what to do since forever, never has been able to stand up for herself. It's also why she couldn't stand up for us when he was less-than-nurturing.

He's not doing well physically or mentally. The anesthesia messed him up and he's still not 'back' although he's better than he was. So Mom is taking care of him with a little help from a home health nurse, but there was a lot of argument about that, too. He didn't want anyone in his house because he says 'they' are trying to kill him.

It's just a mess. They ought to be in some kind of assisted living, but hell will freeze over before that happens.

I'm tired of the stupidity of do this, don't do that, wear a mask, don't wear one, it's not safe to eat dinner in a restaurant, but it's safe to go gather in huge masses of people and cough on each other as the tear gas is dispersed. Or go to a presidential rally.

I'm grumpy as hell, if you really want to know.

But I did get a haircut.

Stay safe out there.

Edited to add: After I posted this, I was chatting with Mom via messenger. She suddenly messaged me, "Your dad wants to talk to you," and my phone rang. I sent some warming slippers to my dad this past week. They have a microwavable insert that goes inside to warm the feet. He has some circulation issues and his feet are cold when he gets up in the morning. So the stated purpose of the call was to thank me for the slippers... but what it really was turned to be an hour and ten minutes of him ranting angrily about many disconnected things.

It's been over an hour since we hung up and I'm still reeling.

He was very angry when he was hospitalized last month, as they refused to release him until there was a safety plan for him at home. My mom isn't able to provide the level of care he needed post-surgery.

But he decided it meant he was being held against his will. He became very combative and more and more irrational. I don't even want to get into specifics, but now I'm really worried about his mental condition, too. He was in the hospital for four days, he thinks it was 'more than two weeks' and no amount of discussion will change his mind.

Haha, that's not unusual.

I'm not sure if my mom doesn't understand how.. off he is or if she's just ignoring it. I'm guessing a little bit of both.

He told me tonight that he's pretty sure he will never see any of us again, blamed it on China and said some really off-the-wall things.

The guy I talked to on the phone isn't much like my dad.
It  makes me feel sad.

And what about those kids? Part 2

So regarding the virus and how kids are doing... I think mostly the kids are fine.

Adults are NOT fine, we're obsessing and worrying and stressing and wondering how we're supposed to pay the bills. We know how dangerous life is, how short it is and how many things can go wrong.

If we're doing the adult thing correctly, all that worry isn't visible to the kids, though. I don't know about you, I'm not capable of hiding my worries that well.

I  see a lot of stuff on the news (not just now, during the pandemic but during many other events/crises)  along the lines of 'zomggggg what will we tell the childrunnn???' and snort and roll my eyes.

Most adults have forgotten what it was like to be a child.
Kids are resilient and accept their circumstances and day to day existence without a lot of thought.

Let's do a small experiment. We don't have to write anything down, wear lab coats or goggles and we won't have to defend our conclusion to any panels of other scientists who are competing for funding and trying to poke holes in our theories.

Just an experiment here in the Mental Clubhouse.

Okay, are you ready?
You, over there in the corner, stop talking to your neighbor and try to pay attention, could you?

Now.
Really try to remember being six years old.

Since I'm asking you to remember, I'm making that same effort.

For me, the age of six was 53 years ago.
I remember that losing my first tooth (my mom didn't think to prepare me for it and I had NO IDEA it was going to happen and biting into an apple and having my front tooth come out was one goddamn large trauma, thank you) while perched in an apple tree in a yard in Montrose, Colorado was the BIG event of the year.

I also remember my teacher's face but not her name and that I got lost nearly every day while walking the five blocks to school.

I surreptitiously watched other kids and nonchalantly followed them so I could make it to and from school, no, it never occurred to me to tell my mom I was lost.

I had a red bookbag that was sent to me by my great aunt, I loved Dr Seuss books and watching Lost in Space, Batman and the Wild, Wild West with my dad. I sat on his lap and we ate sardines and crackers together.

The washing machine was in our bathroom (when I took a bath and laid back in the tub my legs floated) and I shared a bedroom with my little brother.

Another interesting memory... when we bought the washing machine, the appliance place (Gambles, I think) gave us a gigantic bright orange stuffed rabbit, which we hauled with us every time we moved until I was in the 5th grade.

Every time my mom bought a box of laundry soap, there was a free floral bath towel in the box.

My grandparents lived in the same town as I did when I was six.
They had hardwood floors and brushed aluminum tumblers, from which I was served 7-up over ice whenever we visited.

There were a bunch of other kids my age in the neighborhood to play with and I usually wore red or blue Keds with white laces and rubber toes.

My mom's sister was a newlywed and my new uncle Mike's parents had adopted me as a grandchild. Verle picked me up every Saturday morning in her fancy car and drove me to their house where I watched cartoons (in color!!) and ate a nice breakfast. Verle and Welton were very kind to me, I remember them fondly.

I had a pair of dark forest green capri-length pants, my mom called them 'pedal pushers'. I often wore them with a turtleneck shirt that said Hootenanny on the front.

Without assistance from Google, I can't tell you anything about politics, national or local emergencies or what was on the news, but I can still remember the lyrics of most of the folk music that was popular at the time. I actually own quite a few CDs with music from those years.

We had a light green Dodge Lancer with push button drive and a back seat that folded down for both access to the trunk and to make a bed when we traveled.

My dad wore a hard hat and work boots when he went to work in the morning and I was fascinated with the plumb bob he carried on his belt. He had one of the old fashioned dome lunch boxes and a series of plaid thermoses.

He built me a transit from an erector set that went across the room on string.

My mom always looked beautiful. She wore a dress and lipstick. The apartment we lived in was always clean. Much cleaner than the house I keep these days.

I remember many more things, but they're just more bits and pieces. I don't remember things from that time of my life in linear fashion at all. I don't remember what was upsetting adults at the time, but I do remember my grandmother telling my mother that she'd heard them chanting on the radio, "Hey Hey LBJ, how many kids did you kill today?"

I remember the recitation, but there was no context.
I didn't know he was the president, I didn't know we were at war.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~



So the oddness right now... the plague. The stress of having to stay home, wear a mask when out and about, not having to go to school... those are things that affect adults much more than kids. They'll remember it, of course, but I don't know that they'll attach the same importance to it that we, as adults, do.

I think the grownups are the ones being traumatized with today's events.

What do you think?
And what was it like when YOU were six?

And what about those kids? Part 1

In her comment on my last post, Lisa expressed some concern about how kids are dealing with the trauma of this virus. She said she'd probably want to homeschool if she had kids at home right now.

And since I'm a huge advocate of homeschooling (which I really prefer to call lifeschooling) I agree just on general principles. If a person can homeschool and wants to homeschool, I enthusiastically recommend doing so for a million different reasons, none of which are due to the virus.

I also think (due to the virus) there will be many people who realize having their kids living and growing outside the institution can be a wonderful way to spend more time together and that it contributes to bonding, both between parent and child(ren) and between siblings.

I think there will be a significant number of families who find the homeschooling lifestyle to be a good fit for them. While beginning to homeschool was a necessity because of the virus, that recognition of the benefits of life learning instead of schooling will probably have an effect on school choice for many years into the future.

I was reading some commentary on a parenting forum a few weeks ago and was interested but not surprised that several of the parents posting there commented were marveling that little Zoey/Chucky/Ferd no longer had a tummy ache/headache every morning.

If you didn't know this, many children complain of a tummy ache when they are anxious. The school office is often swamped in the first hour or so each morning when kids (often the same ones day after day after day) have gone to their teacher complaining they 'don't feel good'.

Protocol is to send the child to the office where the school nurse will take their temperature. Most of the time, their temperature is fine, they're sent back to class (you're fine, no fever, hope you have a wonderful day)  and that's it. No one calls the parent to say the child isn't feeling well. No one works to find out why the child is anxious, instead dismissing it as the child 'trying to get out of schoolwork'.

So did you get that? Kids are going to the office every day saying they don't feel good, they're given a temperature check and dismissed back to class if they don't have a fever.

This goes on for years and years, although generally speaking, the older they are the more they are resigned to the day-to-day of institutional life which translates into bigger kids have fewer morning tummy aches.

They aren't faking it, although it's not usually their stomach that's the issue. They just don't have the words or the life experience to understand what's really going on with them. 

In their little brains, their generalized emotional anxiety from getting up early, being separated from the people they love and having to march in a line and be 'good' all day long translates to a tummy ache, which is a concrete thing to complain about.
Parents have no idea.

No clue.

It's a really awful thing, but it's just more routine abridgement of a child's rights. A child's rights end the moment they walk in the door of the building.

It's one of the reasons I find the idea of schools teaching kids about oppression to be sort of silly, since the actual definition of oppression is prolonged cruel or unjust treatment or control/the state of being subject to unjust treatment or control, subjugation, subjection, repression, suppression, ruthlessness, heartlessness... I'm sure you can add a word or two.

The fact that most people in the system think they're doing these things for the good of children doesn't change the effects of the oppression. It's traumatizing and the usual sentence is 13 years.
And if you're honest, you see that the public school environment places the wishes and needs of kids far down the list of priorities.

And if *I* had to be honest, I'd say the needs of children aren't even on the list.​

I've struggled with it over the years because the nature of my work means my own contribution to the routine abridgement of human rights. You may find that overly dramatic, and I can understand why you'd think that way, but I see it as factual. No, I'm not standing over them yelling and working to make them feel insignificant or worthless, but they're in a position of having to ask my permission for basic human needs.

Permission to pee, to eat, to play.

I love my kids, I want them to have a pleasant experience while in my care.

I try to say yes instead of no as often as I can, to things like craft projects or using toys in different ways (making Rube Goldberg machines from Hot Wheels tracks and marble runs and dominoes, for example) and to extra snacks, reading books outdoors, messy art... whatever.
But I do have an expectation of a certain amount of conformity.
I have had internal conflict about what I do for a living (or did for a living until the plague sidelined me) but I realized a long time ago that kids will be in day care anyway and they may as well have someone who actually cares spend that time with them.

That applies to school staff/teachers quite often, too. They do care about the kids and believe they're doing things that are good for them. There are amazing people in every school I've worked in.

For every example of a crap person who shouldn't be working with or around children, I can show you 10 who love the kids and would do anything in the world for them.

I am amazed by some of the things I know teachers and other school staff do for the kids, from buying groceries with their own funds to making sure a child has a new dress or pair of shoes for the concert.

People have to work. They have to buy regular shoes for those children they made. Obtain dental care for them. Keep them sheltered and fed.

My commentary about the school system is general commentary. 
I don't hate the people in that system and I do not judge people who send their children to school.

But my basic reservations about how those kids' emotional needs are being met, particularly the little guys, are valid.

We're willing to see and overlook what goes on partly because we were all there as kids. I don't know about you, but I do have lasting hard feelings, sadness, angst, anger and that ol' helpless feeling when I think of the time I spent in public school.

My high school graduation was like what I'd imagine being released from jail is like. I was just so grateful to not have to go to school anymore.

And I don't think most people know what it's really like now, 20, 30, 40 years post our own graduation(s).

Schools, in some form, are necessary until we figure out something better and I really don't see that happening.