Keeping busy-ish.

We went to Eastern Oregon last weekend (July 27-29) for a surprise birthday party for my mom.

Zipped out of town on Friday morning and came home Sunday afternoon.

Lots of fires in Oregon right now. Our usual route (through Service Creek) was blocked for a time by a fire that burned along the highway for about six miles. Up the rock escarpments and across high desert grasslands. They had reopened the highway about a half hour before we drove through.

It was rreeallly smoky, so much so that I need to replace the cabin air filter in my car, even though I had put it on recirc as we drove through.

It's a long drive. Took us almost six hours to get there.
We had to go slow in some places. We also stopped a couple times.
Food for Eric, little girl's room for me in Hood River, then a 2nd pee stop at Shelton County Park outside Fossil.

Great place to pee.
Photo was not taken during the smoke pee stop.
Isn't even my photo.

This is I-84 on our way home. Mosier, near The Dalles.
If you zoom in, you'll see the freeway goes right through the fire.
Which we did.

This is Cathedral Rock, John Day Fossil Beds national monument.
It was a clear day, the sky was that color from the smoke.

I've been making some tie dyed stuff. I made some pajama shirts for Mom, it was the only thing she asked for. She's been asking for awhile... it's just one of those labor-intensive things I don't do very often. I can always find something else to be doing.

Just so we're clear, the pictures are of some baby clothes I did at the same time for a friend who's about to have a little girl. They're not Mom's pajama shirts.

Mom and her mother in law had birthdays three days apart.
No one said anything when it was decided early on that they'd just share their birthdays.

They always had whatever cake Grandma wanted. And went to Grandma's house  or to a location of Grandma's choosing to celebrate 'their' birthday. It never occurred to any of us that Mom would have liked to have her own birthday. She wasn't very good at standing up for herself.

She planned parties for Dad every year in June.

She never said a word about her own birthday.

So she was surprised last weekend. She didn't know anything about it. My aunt and uncle (Mom's sister) drove up from California, although they didn't tell her why, just that it was time for the annual visit.

So we all went to the venue (local senior center, closed on Saturdays but opened for the family and 200 bucks) and set everything up. The guests were all in place when my aunt and uncle brought her in. At first she had no idea what was going on, we were blowing party noisemakers and yelling happy birthday. She said, "It's not my birthday yet." Which it wasn't, but a couple weeks early was the only time we could all do it.

Cake and pizza and assorted food and gifts.

She was touched by it and told Steve that she had not had a birthday party since she was a child.
So I guess the event was successful. I know it was important to Mom.

It took me a couple days to rest up afterward. Long drive, and I usually drive. I slept a lot on Monday.

And now I'm at the end of summer, or almost. Next week I start planning-at-home hours, meaning if I don't get shit cleaned up and things organized this week, I am going to be running behind the whole school year. And none of us want that.

What are you up to?
Hot enough for ya?

Yesterday it was my birthday...

I hung one more year on the line...

From Have A Good Time by Paul Simon.

Poor Paul. Same tortured/angry/frustrated artist crap that so many other musical geniuses have gone through. He has written some really great songs, though. One of my favorites to listen to.

It really was my birthday yesterday as I write this, but it's not posting until the 14th.

My birthday was on the 11th. As it always is. Two weeks before Christmas.

When I was growing up, it always felt like my birthday sort of disappeared because of the holidaze.
Now I wish my birthday would disappear. Ha.

Not getting any younger. I don't suppose anyone is.

I don't feel upset or anything, though. It's just another birthday in a long string of 'em.

Had a discussion with 'my' kids a few years ago about birthdays. I may have even mentioned it here.

James and Hayden were lamenting that it was a WHOLE YEAR between their birthdays and that it seemed to take forever to get to their next birthday. I told them that mine seemed to come faster and faster.

We decided that a year for them was one sixth of their lives, but for me, one fifty-eighth. Hence the feeling of shorter time between birthdays.

Makes sense, doesn't it?

I turned 60 yesterday.

Funny, when I think of my birthday, what each birthday since 1978 really marks for me is the amount of time since I met my guy.

I met Eric 42 years ago yesterday.
It was my 18th birthday.
He walked into one of my classes with some papers for the teacher.
He was the best looking guy I'd ever seen. I was immediately smitten.
I turned to Steve Klingenberg, the guy next to me, and said, "OH MY GOD! Who is that?"

He shrugged and said, annoyed, "How the hell should I know?"
Which was funny. I laughed.

Eric told me that he was pretty taken with me as well on that day.
We both clearly remember our first meeting.

We just celebrated our 40th wedding anniversary.

Time flies like an arrow... fruit flies like a banana.

::snort::

I had to go to the DMV (open for appointments only right now) and renew my license. I had an appointment for 2:50 PM, but arrived about 25 minutes early. Not a great idea, but the rest of the delay wasn't really my fault.

Apparently they're as efficient as other government entities, and they'd scheduled everyone's break at 2:45. Everyone except the door guard/greeter, the photographer and ONE clerk.

There were 20 people waiting indoors and six lined up outside by the time the line started moving again.

Found a chair in the lobby and wished I'd brought a book.

I'm not one to take out my phone and play, so I was a little bored.

But I like people watching. One thing about the DMV, at least every time that I've been? There are usually some interesting people to watch.

This time was no exception. My nearest neighbors were a teenage girl and her dad. She was taking her driving test for the second time, having failed at her first attempt a few weeks ago. She was cheerful about it, they discussed things for her to watch for and sounded pretty positive.

While we were waiting, a gentleman was dropped off by the big glass doors.
He had a white cane and no eyes.
There were just two dry holes where his eyes should have been.
He did not wear glasses to cover it.

He was escorted in by the lady who was stationed at the door, she took him over to the service desk. She explained to the lady at the counter that he was there to be photographed for a state-issued ID card.

While she was explaining that to the lady at the counter, the teen girl and her dad were still deep in conversation. The teenager hadn't noticed the gentleman at all.

He was escorted past the area where we were seated, and the girl suddenly stopped talking with her dad to watch his progress.

The blind man went to the photo area on the other side of the lobby and the girl turned to her dad. In an incredulous tone, she said, "How does he get a driver's license???!!"

I had to look down into my lap and act like I didn't hear her, I didn't want to snort or laugh loudly.

But it did crack me up.

So I did have to wait awhile, but to be fair, I showed up nearly half an hour early. So if you deduct those 30 minutes and know that I was out of there at about 3:20, I only had to spend half an hour total.

Oh, and 70 bucks.

I was lazy

All weekend.

Some weekends I need to recharge my batteries more than on other weekends.
This was a lazy one.

I did a little drawing and coloring. I did some dishes. We did the grocery shopping. I am pretty sure there's clean laundry, but except for the hangy-up stuff, it's in baskets in front of the dryer.

Eric and Lyssa went to the Chinese market today. Lyssa likes a lot of the little things they have,and Eric buys a liniment. It's Tiger Balm, although he refers to it as panther piss. It smells pretty strong, but works well for him.

I slept in. I made the week's smoothies and stowed them in the fridge.

Showered. Played on the computer. Drew a little bit.

Highlight of the day was a visit from Tami. She brought me some really amazing coloring books. They're beautiful, and once again I'm reminded of how lucky I am to have friends in my life who understand me. Happy Birthday to MEEEE!!

I hung out in 'my' room this evening. The dishwasher and the washing machine were running and it was noisy in the kitchen. Kinda nice to be away from the noise a bit.

Anyway, boring stuff. But life is good. The boring stuff is good. And I appreciate every minute of it.

A friend from Facebook reached out to me this past week. Turns out we have quite a lot in common. Sometimes it's nice to know that you're NOT the only one. That other people think the way you do. I write a lot of what I think here, but many things are ONLY here. It's not like I run around saying things like, "Obama's an asshole and I hate the goddamn shitheads who are running and fuck ALL THOSE GUYS!!!"

And really I mostly don't think about it, either. I try to take care of me and mine. And realize that we're all in the same boat. Sailing down the same creek, no oars in the water. Bet you can name that creek, can't ya?

So now I'm off to bed. It's going to be a busy week, full of holiday projects, 5 AM mornings and running around like a maniac, getting ready for Christmas. It's different having adult kids, though. I don't worry anymore about trying to provide an exciting Christmas for them.

I have some more thoughts about that. But it's bedtime. I get up at 5. Have I mentioned that?

28

Annd.. another birthday.

My son, my first baby, is 28 years old today.
And like I said the other day when my baby baby turned 22, I don't understand how the time has gone by so quickly.

That surprised-looking baby boy the doctor held up in the delivery room has been gone a long time. :)

He's been replaced by a man. He's a good man, works hard to contribute to the partnership he has with his wife, calls his mother on occasion, called yesterday to wish his dad a good day.

We like him just fine. He's turned out to be a good one.

When we found out we were having a baby, we were really surprised. For whatever reason, it didn't happen when we wanted it to. I'd actually given up on the idea of having a child.

So when the 'Wow I am having a lot of heartburn...' turned out to be 'did you know you were pregnant?' it was shocking. The blood test showed "5 1/2 or six weeks post-conception."

One week later, my O.B. doctor told me I was "about 22 weeks."

"Weeks of what?" I inquired, dumbly.
"You are about 5 months pregnant."

Okay then!
We had an ultrasound a week later.

We were excited to find out he was going to be a boy, even though we asked the doctor not to tell us the sex of the baby.

He did the ultrasound, which I still have on VHS... a couple times during the procedure he says something like, "And you don't want to know the sex of the baby."

After he turned the machine off, he said, "Your son will be here about June 10th." He caught himself as he said it, looked embarrassed and quickly added, "Or your daughter!"

So we knew.
And five months to the day that I found out I was expecting him, he showed up. All 8lbs, 7.5 ounces. Scrawny. With great ridges on his head from being squished during the 28 hour labor/possible Klingon father.

Of course he was late. 12 days to be exact. And he's been running late ever since.

Happy Birthday, Matt.

22

22 years ago today I was gifted with my beautiful daughter Alyssa.
I found out when I was about five months pregnant that she was going to be a girl. I was surprised, as I'd just figured I was having another boy.

It didn't matter either way, of course. A healthy baby is something to celebrate, and the ultrasound showed everything checking out just fine. Matt was with me when I had the ultrasound. The technician told me that she had a boy and a girl of her own. And as she looked at the screen, she said, "And you're going to have a boy and girl of YOUR own, too. You're getting a baby sister, big guy."

Matt was excited.
When we went out to lunch at Sizzler to celebrate, just the two of us, I remarked to him that I didn't feel very good, that I was very hungry and that I hoped our waitress would hurry.

When she got to the table after a short wait, he told her, "I'm glad you got here. My mom is pregnant with my sister and she's HUNGRY."

Eric was so pleased to find out we were having a girl. He used to come home from work in the evenings, I'd waddle myself out to the truck to say hi to him, he'd hug me and then pat my tummy and ask, "How are my girls today?"

I sat on the living room floor with Matt about two weeks before her birth, wrapping up little packets of Hershey's kisses and tying them with pink ribbons. He was excited to hand them out to his friends and family after the baby arrived. She was due while he was still in school, but didn't arrive until a week or so after school got out. He ended up handing out those little packets of kisses to people at the hospital instead.

After three days (yes, really) of labor, she arrived.
Pink and perfect and yelling at the top of her lungs.

And that childhood zipped past in what feels like a matter of months, I kid you not. I have no idea how 22 years have gone by.

The babyhood and the toddler years and Lyssa learning to read at 3 and Girl Scouts and homeschool activities and all the art work and the incredible stories she made up... all behind us.

Alyssa is funny, smart, a blast to be around and one of the most quick-witted people I know. She has an amazing sense of humor and is completely unafraid to just say what's on her mind.

It's impossible to explain how compassionate she is. How kind. She cares so much about the people around her. She gives great hugs. A pretty fair shoulder massage, too.

I'm really proud of my daughter. She's amazing.

She isn't home this year for her birthday, but she's always in my heart.
I miss her every day.

She's off living her own life on the other side of the moon in North Carolina.

When I had babies, I thought about having babies. You know, the sweet little dampish bundle that nestles next to your neck and makes cute little squeaky noises and has a little rosebud mouth and fluttery little eyelashes and soft hair?

I tell you now, it never occurred to me that my babies would grow up. And become people with their own lives and that they might move somewhere FAR FAR away.

I really am okay with it for the most part. Of course I miss her. Hell, I even miss Matt, and I still see him on occasion.

I would never want to hold my child back from happiness or adventure or exploring the world.

So happy birthday, former baby of mine.
I love you.

Happy Birthday

Today is my husband's birthday.
He is 52 years old.
We have been together 35 years.

If you were to ponder it, you might say, "Hm, that's a long time for two people to be together, considering he was 16 when you two started dating."

You would be correct.

It's amazing to me that we're still together after all this time, except that very early in our relationship, we committed to each other 100%. We learned that standing together was the best thing in the universe.

That foundation we started building back when we were both teenagers and didn't know shit about the world... still there.

We don't do a lot to celebrate birthdays anymore, for either one of us.
But wow, I sure do love this guy. :)

Have A Good Time

Yesterday it was my birthday... I hung one more year on the line...
That link leads to a Paul Simon song on YouTube, in case you're wondering.

I had a nice birthday, despite the ear infection, aching joints, fever and general feeling of crap. My kids made me pictures and cards this morning, the music teacher came out of the music room and played Happy Birthday while everyone sang. I sure was looking forward to my nap this morning, I didn't sleep very well last night.

The nap didn't work out so well, unfortunately. I fell asleep with my mouth closed, but as soon as I'd start to relax, my mouth would drop open and I'd snork myself awake.

::sigh::

I was asked by a couple people why I didn't just stay home from work.
Hollow laugh.
First, because we are (as usual) short staffed and there isn't really anyone available to take my place.

Second, if I stay home ill, I will still be sick but I'll be worrying about my kids, too.

It's Deck the Halls month, and we do an ornament or decoration every single day. Who will do that with them if I am not there? I know where everything is!

I picked up the bug at work, so I'm not particularly worried about being there while I'm not feeling well. In addition, I don't sneeze on people or pick my nose and touch their toys or get into someone's personal space and breathe on them.

So whatever. I Worked. Felt like crap.

We had popcorn to celebrate my birthday. A treat that all the kids can eat. We have one who can't eat gluten. I definitely don't want to leave anyone out, so I work to find something they can all have without setting someone apart or making that person feel funny.
Man, it's nasty windy out there tonight!

We're getting some weather from the tail end of some storm or another.
They've been warning us that it was going to hit.
They predicted 3 PM-ish.
And sure enough, that's what we got.

Gusts up to 70 according to the weather guys, but I don't know. From the number of trees down on my way home, I'd say maybe the wind is stronger than that.

Saw several emergency vehicles going here and there, too.

I took a circuitous route home so that I'd miss most of the stoplights or have to turn right at them in case the power went out. Too many people can't figure out what to do when the light isn't working.

We had several power surges. The lights blinked out more than once. Our cafeteria doesn't have very much natural light, the windows are small and near the door in the corner. So when the power goes out, it's pretty dark.

Every time the lights blinked, Jennifer and a couple others screamed or made some scared noise.

I decided we needed a plan.

I got my own flashlight out of my backpack. Eric made me get a maglite a few years ago, so I always have one if needed. It fits in my pocket, but it's very bright.

So I announced to the kids that, "Here's what we're going to do if the power goes out. Number one, freeze. NO ONE moves. If the lights go out and you're walking, stop. If you're sitting, remain seated. Don't scream or get scared. I have my flashlight," and here I demonstrated, getting it out of my pocket and showing them that it worked, "And I will immediately turn it on. Then I will walk to this table over here."

I placed four flashlights on that table, telling them that we'd have plenty of light if needed, so, "Settle down. It's fine. You don't need to scream. I have this covered."

But Jennifer was freaking out. She finally attached herself to me with an invisible cord about three feet long. Followed me everywhere until her dad came to pick her up. She really was nervous about the lights going off.

I finally purchased a thermometer today. My normal temp is about a degree colder than most people, so the 99.9 that it registers is about two degrees of fever. Assuming that it's calibrated correctly and all that. I just took two aspirin, hoping that once I get into bed and covered up (about thirty seconds from now) I will get warm and the fever will eventually break and I'll sleep well.

Happy Birthday Thoughts

I dragged the kids out front on Wednesday evening to take their photo.

They're good kids... they humored me and didn't complain about me wanting to take photos.

I think I took four or five.
One turned out pretty nice. :)
I love digital photography.

So they're 21 and 27 this year. I can't believe that much time has passed.

And I've talked here before about having babies.
How I wanted a baby.
A sweet little dampish bundle that (most of the time) smells nice and feels good nestled into the side of your neck.

You'd think I'd have figured some of it out before I had a 2nd one... but nope. Had another without a whole lot of forethought.

Before babies, I didn't ever consider the introduction to solid foods. Hell, I hadn't considered breast feeding or bottle feeding or cloth diaper or disposable diapers.
Or toilet training.

I didn't think a lot about who would take care of the babies when I went back to work. And of course the moment they handed me that first little dampish bundle, nothing else but the baby mattered. Leave my baby to go to a JOB?? No.

According to some, I've never held a 'real' job again. Not that I listen to crap like that. I think we all know what goes into raising a child.

I didn't consider education of said babies, either. Because of course *everyone* sends their children to school, right? I never considered that I'd end up being a homeschooling mom. That was something religious people did so their offspring wouldn't learn about evolution!

I didn't consider orthodontics. Every paycheck I earned for three and a half years went directly to our dentist.
Seriously.
And look at those smiles.
Worth every single hour I worked.

That really holds true for the kids themselves. Worth every single hour I spent with them. Every single hour I worked, thought about them, worried over them, did my best for them.

Looking back, I wish I'd taken more time to appreciate how short time is, though.

If your kids are little, take as much time as you can to just enjoy them. The smell of their hair after they wake up from a nap. That warm, sleepy little person snuggled in your arms.

If your kids grew up, the way mine did, what do you wish you'd done more of? Less of?

And have you ever spent even a single moment NOT worrying about your children? I don't think I've had a worry-free moment since June 22, 1987.

CAKE. And stuff.

See it on the ancient breadboard next to the sink with a dirty colander and the counter full of this and that?

That's my birthday cake. :)

I got home from work and my lovely daughter had baked a cake.
Not just any old cake, either.

A thick, dense chocolate cake with cream cheese icing. All made from scratch.

That is one delicious cake. If I weren't already married and all that, I could marry that cake. That's how wonderful it is. :)

SO good!!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Let's see... a regular day. Work and nap and work.
Kids made a messy project today, shaving cream and glue mix. Looks like snow. They made various things on a piece of very thick card stock out of snow, and tomorrow is the day they decorate their snowmen and snow scenes with bits of felt and sticks and beads and buttons.

A few parents stopped by and wondered aloud, "Isn't that kind of a messy project?"
To which I answered with a big smile, "Why yes! It is. That's the point!"

I've been taking photos of their other little projects. And will share them. I will. Eventually.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I bought some cookies for the kids. Since it was my birthday and I could. :)
They were pretty happy about it, except Molly* wished the cookies were bigger or that we could have more. Greg* sort of smacked her on the arm and said, "You could be a little more grateful, you know."

::snort::

Greg is 8.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Off to bed after a nice birthday, a nice hot shower and CAKE. :)

Happy Birthday to meeeee

And this is the youngest I'll ever be.

I will be up at 5. Showered and out the door by 6. Work until 10. Come home, see my kids (Matt is coming over to see Lyssa) and then I will take a nap. I'll stop at the grocery store and pick up some cookies or cupcakes or something on my way back out to work in the afternoon and celebrate my day.

We don't give gifts in our family. I doubt that Matt and Lyssa will even remember it's my birthday unless I remind them. It's just not a big deal the way it used to be.

However... that means this weekend it will be time to decorate for Christmas and get things looking festive. Because my birthday will be over.

I hated combining birthday and Christmas as a kid.

Anyway, that's what I have.
Off to put another wrinkle in my birthday suit.

26. And rocks in his head.

Today is Matt's birthday.
I've been a mom for half my life.
It's so weird, thinking about how time works.

For example when I was 40, I realized I'd been married a little over half my life.

More now, of course.

And now I'm 52 and my firstborn is 26.

I remember back in June of 1987 I was thinking I'd be pregnant for the rest of my life.
He was two weeks late.
And yes, he's been running late ever since. :-D

Anyway, my son is 26 today. Which is really hard for me to believe.
He's a nice guy, about to propose to his girlfriend (that's supposed to happen on Tuesday, and she doesn't read my blog so it's all good...) and the soundtrack of our lives lately in the evening is punctuated by the sounds of the tape gun as he packs his things to move out a week from today.

A person of compassion and integrity and humor. He is a great big brother, a wonderful son and person, and I'm proud of him.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Today, before I got to work, one of the kids threw a softball up into a tree. Had I been there, he would not have thrown it up there at all, since we have a rule about being out in the field to throw that ball, and they all know I'm serious about rules.

He repeatedly threw it up in the tree, causing small branches and leaves to fall on some of the other kids. It finally got stuck.

Then, he found chunks of concrete and some other little rocks to throw up to try to dislodge the ball.

Now one would think that the person in charge on the playground would, you know, put a stop to the behavior. But not this particular person. I seriously doubt she even noticed what he was doing until it was too late. She's not terribly observant.

I'll refrain from making remarks about professionalism, vigilance and taking things seriously. But if you could hear me in person....

Let's just go with, "We may have at least one person working there who possibly isn't as personally invested in the safety of the kids as I am." and then leave it at that.

You've heard the saying, 'What goes up must come down', right?

The last chunk of concrete that he threw up to hit the ball DID come down. Squarely on the top of his head.

I heard from several children and at least one staff person that the scalp wound was pretty bloody.

And that the 'caregiver' who allowed him to repeatedly throw the rocks into the air embarrassed him over it.

I had an accident report clipped onto the clipboard to give to his parent/guardian when he was picked up this afternoon, but I left before that p/g arrived.

I know p/g was contacted regarding the accident, though.

It really bothers me when not everyone who deals with the children has the same safety standards and the same worry about the kids.

I don't like having accident reports, as I mentioned, but when it's something that happens because of consistent rule breaking and the person who's supposed to be watching ISN'T, it really pisses me off.

Happy Birthday Baby!! And oh. Oops. Thought I'd mentioned it.

There is a beautiful girl in my life. Her name is Alyssa, and today she is 20 years old. I don't know how that is possible. I really don't. I've heard so many times over the years how fast time goes, and when my kids were small, I didn't really believe it.

I was wrong.

So happy birthday to my beautiful, smart, quirky, hilarious, adorable, loveable, huggable, wonderful daughter, Alyssa. Who is also my coworker... and does a HELL of a job with kids. She has a natural talent and empathy and is the best assistant I've ever had at my site. I do not say that lightly, I have had some excellent ones.

I miss you, Sweetheart... it's so strange to have you be away from home on your birthday!!

And speaking of beautiful.....

Matt's been dating this beautiful girl for, well let's see... almost a year now, I think.

They're moving in together at the end of this month. He has a diamond for her, and although they haven't set a date, she is THE ONE.

Her name is Amy. Matt has liked her for years and years, although they weren't in touch. They sang together in choir when Matt was a teen homeschooled weirdo in public school choir. :)


Amy was here for Thanksgiving dinner. That was our first official meeting.

She came again at Christmas. An excuse for me to tidy up the hoard a bit. I'm going to have to seriously work on that if I want to see much of her, I think. :)

She's a lovely girl, has a beautiful smile, a great laugh, and yes, she's good enough for my son. I have no reservations about it. You know how sometimes women (moms) look at the person their son has picked out and say things like, 'well she's great except for ___.' or 'Well, it doesn't matter to me, he's the one who has to live with her.'

I suppose one or both of those things *could* be true, but I don't feel that way at all. She obviously loves him, he's nuts about her, they can talk about anything and everything and are the best of friends. I know Matt is happy with her, and I'm assuming that she's happy with him, too. They certainly spend as much time as possible together.

After their first meet up (coffee at Starbucks) he came home and said, "Well, even if nothing comes of it, I have a new best friend."

(I know... awwwww.)

I thought maybe I'd said something here on my blog about him getting married, but it was pointed out to me on Facebook that I actually haven't mentioned it. Anywhere.

So consider this your official notification.

My son is getting married. We think she's adorable and perfect for him, and wish them a future filled with everything good and just enough stuff that's a pain in the ass to help them appreciate the great stuff. :)

The hard parts...

The kids make me laugh every day.
I truly love my job and am happy with the work I've chosen to do. It really is a great fit for me.

Eric has mentioned on occasion that he doesn't like me having to work.
But I'm not homeschooling my own kids anymore (I'm about to have an empty nest all summer, the younger chick is going to visit a friend all summer long and the big chick is moving out permanently in a few weeks) and I don't want to be at home full time.

He says it makes it a lot easier for him to think about me working because he knows I love it there and am happy.

I said all that so I could say this, though.

Saying goodbye to kids is so hard for me!
That caring I do makes the inevitable growing up/moving on thing really difficult. I mean, I get past it and move on... looking forward to summer and to the new crop of kids I'll have in the fall. It's a logical progression and I wouldn't change it. Wouldn't hold a kid back just 'cause it's hard to say goodbye. But it's my least-favorite part of the job.

I said goodbye to Kelly* on Tuesday afternoon. She will be going on to middle school in the fall, and Tuesday was her last day with me. She's a sweet girl with a sense of humor and a gift for being kind to the younger kids. I love seeing them take care of each other in my program.

Digression alert!! Digression alert!!

Age segregation is such a strange thing, really. Did you ever think about it? The way they sort kids into categories and work hard to keep those categories from mixing is a very odd thing. We all had to go through it... who'd believe it if they hadn't?

I understand ability grouping better than age grouping, but both things limit people, don't you think? So many people who could learn from each other aren't allowed to because of age or academic achievement.

End digression... I can't seem to formulate my thoughts coherently about this topic tonight anyway. :)

I gave Kelly a hug, told her to please stop by and say hi to me sometime, and that if she is out running around the track we share with the middle school during times I have my kids outside, she's not allowed to pretend like she doesn't know me. :)

And then turned back to Evan* and Dave*, the last two kids left and taught them how to play Blink, which is a kick ass card game.

Evan is one of those kids that I'm going to have trouble saying goodbye to next year. I've had him in my program since I started at my site in 2009. He and Liam* will be the first ones that I've had their entire elementary school careers at this site. And Dave is Rachelle's* little brother. I first met him when he was still in diapers and not even talking much.

How has so much time gone by already?

My son will be 26 this month. I was 26 when he was born.
My sweet daughter will be 20.

Gah. I want a do over!!!

I've been busy

This is the big, big tangle I've  been working on. I hate trying to keep secrets, so I won't even bother.

Tami, eventually this will morph into your birthday present. Fortunately, I still have time to paint the frame, balance the project (It's been cut into 9 what were supposed to be equal parts) and have it all done in time to present it to you in May. You won't have to act surprised.

The first one is a photo of it completely unshaded and not filled in with all the black I wanted. You can see approximately how large the whole thing is because of my hand in the photo. :)

And the 3rd and 4th are reversed, the 4th one is a close up of an unshaded portion, the 3rd one is shaded. Whatever. This is what I've been up to in my spare time.

And what *I* do for tangling. It's not "right" but I love doing it. :)

bits of happy stuff

First, today is Eric's birthday. It's THE BIG FIVE OH!!!!!

Time flies. He's not that kid I married. He's so much more. I like him more now. (Not that I didn't like him then, he's just such an amazing and good guy and I've had the opportunity to get to know him a little over the last 33 years or so.
:)

So we celebrate birthdays the same way we celebrate most other stuff... acknowledge it and move on. We don't exchange gifts with each other on any occasions, and birthdays are no different.

Alyssa plans to bake him a cake with cream cheese icing (YUMMMM) and that's pretty much the extent of the festivities.

She has become very good at making things from scratch, and almost as good at cleaning up her own mess. Can't wait to see what she cooks up.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Speaking of festivities, my son told me this evening that he and his girlfriend have been looking at engagement/wedding rings. I guess that means he's serious about her. :)

I approve. She's a lovely girl, and will be a good wife for him. What I want for him is what most parents want for their children... for him to be happy. That's it. I'm glad he's found someone to be happy with. It's nicer when you're happy in tandem.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I managed to get most of the laundry done on Saturday. By which I mean it got put away and hung up and all that. Usually I'm content if it just gets clean.

:)

I want to spend a bit of time working on a huge tangly thing that I've spent at least 14 hours on so far. And still manage to get a decent night's sleep, since not enough sleep makes me just a teeny bit crabby and we do NOT need to add more crabby to my list.

So Happy Birthday to my amazing and wonderful husband. Who does not read my blog. Ever. Although I do force him to sit through occasional readings of things I wrote.

whooooooooooooooooosh

Time is flying! So are yard debris, gallons of rain,sticks, anything that isn't tied down.

Got on early this evening to make sure I write a post before we (possibly) lose power. The weather jerks are promising something like 'the storm of the century' and suggested that we might lose power.

Ha, I feel powerless enough as it is.

Apparently we're to have 45 to 50 mph wind and 60 mph gusts. I fail to see how this is any different from our regular winter stuff, but of course I am not a weather guy.

So if the power is out at the school, they close the school for the day. Last time that happened, the power was out at 7:30, they called school for the day, then the power came on about 8:10. And it was too late to change their minds, so everyone got a day off.

I'll be taking some days off this holiday... I asked for vacation time between January 2nd and 4th, giving me the whole week. I have accrued some vacation time since last year when I was sliced and diced. This will be the first vacation time I've taken since that happened.

And on that front, I am finally really starting to do better physically. It's been a really tough three years, a ton of rehab work, pain, work, pain, pain, and pain. It's been a pain. :)

Today I noticed that I can get up and down from the sofa without having to have my seat elevated with a stack of pillows. I know that probably doesn't sound like a big deal, but I have not been able to do that in three years.

I have been trying to do strengthening exercises and working a bit on balance. I am not a thin person, and sometimes that doesn't help, either, but most of my difficulty has been because of my painful knees, pre and post op.

It is NOT an easy recovery process, that's for sure.

Ah well. I'm glad it's behind me.

On the 'time flying' front, I celebrated last week's birthday by having lunch with Tami on Saturday. We went to Chang's Mongolian Grill (referred to by Alden as 'You know, that, um, mongoloid place?' when he was telling me about a visit from his little cousins) and had a nice, leisurely meal.

Then, we stopped by the craft store. I am unreasonably excited by the purchase of a Santa hat and a black top hat for Leopold and 20 little flocked pumpkins for craft projects in October 2013. I picked up a couple micron pens for the Zentangly stuff I do, and it seems like something else, too, but can't remember.

What I DO remember is spending time with my friend. The one who's always there to listen to me, the one who, although she has a million and one things that she's always juggling, has ALWAYS had time for me. Always has insight. Always makes me smile.

So I'm going to hit post on this before the wind blows the house away. Hope you have a good Monday, safe and warm and full of friends.

Hippo Birdie

:::tossing confetti:::

Today I am 26 with 26 years of experience. (That little formula always works best when the birthday ends in an even number, last year I had to say that I was 25.5 with 25.5 years of experience, and it's just not the same when you have to add in that .5.)

52. I realize I look much younger on my blog, but there it is.

Still in a good place in my life.

Good man. Good kids. Amazing friends. Happy home. Job I love. Clean laundry.

Can complain.
But no big reasons to do so.

Going out to lunch with Tami on Saturday. Not sure where yet, although I'm leaning toward Chang's Mongolian Grill. No MSG, no packaged sauces, not a bad place to hang out.

Regular day today, though. Up at 5. Work. Go to DMV and renew my license before they send someone after me. Nap. Work.

Two weeks until Christmas.

When I was a kid, my family used to say, "Oh, your birthday is so close to Christmas, we will get you a BIG present for BOTH days."  And then, they'd be broke by then and I'd get something lame.

That used to bother me.

Now of course I have everything I could possibly need.
Happy Birthday to Me.

Happy Birthday!

Although he will not catch up to me in the birthday department (notice I did not say birthday suit) Eric has a birthday today. He is 49.


When we met, he was 15. And a scant two years later, we were married.
Yes, his dad had to sign to give permission since he was about three months short of his 18th birthday.

And we ended up growing up in the same direction, partly through luck and partly through purposeful communication and aligned priorities. In retrospect, the things we went through would not have been easy for most couples to handle, and it's nothing short of miraculous that we are still together after some of them.

I think it's because we learned very early that no matter what was coming at us, if we faced it together, we'd win.

He is a good man, full of integrity, kindness and heart.
He's been a good husband to me for 31 years, a good father to his children, and is still the person I prefer to spend my time with over any other.

It's HIS birthday, but I feel like I'm the one who got the gift.

Happy Birthday, Eric.

So am I 25

With 26 years of experience... or am I 26 with 25 years of experience?  Either way, today I am 51 years old.

Way past the thrill of birthdays. Not that I mind them, they don't really upset me, but do you remember how you used to look forward to your day? A celebration of you that happened once a year?

My joy was always tempered with a little apprehension. If you've never suffered from a December birthday, you won't understand. But I wish I had a few bucks for every time I'd been told, "We're going to get you a BIG present to combine your birthday AND Christmas!"

And then?  I got something pretty lame. But up until the actual delivery of the lame, there was always this... hope.

Not that it matters now, of course. I have all the stuff I could possibly ever need and wouldn't know where to store more stuff, certainly not a big, combined best present EVAH!!

So I have no big birthday plans. No wishes for anything else spectacular.

Because I have a warm home, family to hug, friends who call and email, and maybe a little birthday chocolate. What could be better than that?

Not even close to lame.
:)

I'm not inspired

There are a few things I could write about this evening but mostly I think I'm just too lazy.

Matt asked for us to celebrate his birthday over this weekend since we celebrated Lyssa's last weekend. So I baked him a cake and made lasagna (his request) and we had a low key sort of celebration. I mean, he is 24 years old.

No Sesame Street cake this year.

They're changing my hours at work. They don't like me on my feet so much. Doesn't seem to be helping my knee much, either. Of course I have PT and acupuncture appointments scheduled way out... and they're harder than hell to change. Canceling is easy, but rescheduling? Pain in the ass.

So I will work the regular 12 to 5 on Monday and Thursday this week, and 9 to 3 on the other days. Still a good shift.

I was looking back through a couple old posts tonight. Thinking about where I was this time last year. Getting ready to have knee surgery, stressing out over working up until a couple days before it, and thinking about the ugliness that is post-surgical pain and trauma.
I was a little edgy, as I'm sure you will understand.And that made my sense of humor come out a bit more.
That week was when I wrote the turd post. It's one of the most read ones, although I'm not sure why. People don't find my blog searching for turds. They find it looking for a cletoris (which is not a body part reference... *I* know how to spell and suggested it as the plural of Cletus, who used to be our across the street neighbor.)

People find my blog while looking for Si vellem sententiam tuam audire legerem intestina
In English, that means if I wanted your opinion, I'd read your entrails.

And did some last minute tie dyeing around this time last year. There are parallels to this year, although we do NOT have any surgeries scheduled. Believe me, I am grateful.

I plan to dye today a little... couple gifts for some friends and I want a few more summery shirts. The kids at work have 'camp' names, and some of them christened me 'Hippie' because of all the tie dye stuff I wear. I decided to embrace it, so I'll use Hippie as my camp name. Gotta live up to the hype.

:)

So go read the turd post. If it doesn't make you laugh, are you sure you should be reading here? I have to admit I think it was funny.
And that I evidently never really grew up.

And last, Happy Birthday to my grandfather, Don. He'd have been 95 this year, I think. I still miss him every day. And he would have laughed his butt off at being included in a post about my son, my job, turds and tie dye.