Nothing funny today...

If you have children and decide to leave their mother, they're still your children.

And it's a shitty thing to do to them to get some other girlfriend in another state and then go live with her and her children.

Oh it's nice that you come visit your kids now and then, ya good ol' Disneyland dad... but seriously.

Did it occur to you that your blithe, "See ya later, Buddy," as you waltz out the door is the same as saying to your child, "Hey, I'm going back to my other family. See you some other time."

And of course you're not there for the fallout. When your son melts into a puddle of tears in front of all the other kids and starts crying so hard he can hardly breathe? You're in your fancy rental car, driving to the airport so you can be with your other, much more important family and your life somewhere else.

When your son temporarily gets control of the tears and goes off to spend his day at school with a hole in his heart and the gutpunched feeling he always has when you leave him? You're in the air on your way back to the people you traded him for.

Your son's heart gets broken every time you leave him.
You're hurting your children.

Oh your kid will be 'fine'. He will suppress his feelings and get control of his pain and hurt and in a couple days no one will even notice that he's still sad. He'll still have a hole in his heart. One that you left there. And every time you do this, you make it worse.

I don't wish bad things on people, I really don't. But if something happened to you there would be grief and then he'd move on instead of dying a little every time you do this.

And it never gets easier for him.

Is it easy for you?
You're always smiling and hearty and cheerful when we interact. You thank me and wish me a pleasant day.

I return the sentiments.
And I'm sure I look sincere.

But wow, is it hard for me to smile at you and be polite.
I don't like you.

The way I invest my self in my job causes me to care about my kids a great deal. I care about every single one of them.
I wouldn't change that. It's what makes me good at what I do.

So I've been angry at you all day long.

But if I have those strong feelings of dislike for you, imagine how your son must be feeling?

Right now, he still likes you, I think. Considering his reaction when you leave him.

But when he grows up, how do you suppose he's going to feel?

I have a hunch that you're in for something pretty special down the road.
Hope you like your just desserts.

Let's call her Mary Poppins.

She's a daycare provider you don't know.

One of thousands and thousands who toil day after day, taking care of other people's children before and after school and trying to make sure that's exactly what she does... care.

One of the children Mary has in her group this year isn't a happy little addition. His presence is... jarring.

He's very physical, but not in a vicious sort of way... it's more a normal way of behaving for him... pushing kids away or smacking them.

He has a short attention span, which is typical for many children, only his is even shorter.

Mary will try to get him to focus, "Michael, look here.." and point to the bridge of her nose.

Michael looks at Mary, but by the time she gets three words out, he's looking off somewhere else. She tries to gently get his attention again, sometimes phrasing things in a funny or odd way to distract him from the constant stream of sensory input he seems to be seeking.

Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't. The times it does work encourage Mary to keep trying. She feels good when she gets through, although his answers are usually monosyllabic and not really productive, they are at least answers.

Michael has aggravated several of the other kids. He hits (not hard, and not to hurt... he just can't seem to help it) he makes noises in people's faces, and even though they ask him to stop, he doesn't seem to get it. The words come at him, and he knows what they mean, but seems unable to process it to apply to himself.

Mary tries really hard to keep an eye on him, realizing that what he needs is "extra". Extra vigilance to keep him from losing his temper, extra attention so that he knows he's cared about, extra everything.

It's easy to write a Michael off, one need only document enough 'bad' behavior. But Mary sees something in him that needs nurturing. So Mary is taking the unusual (for her) step of talking to some other professionals for clues on how to best take care of Michael. Being part of Team Michael... instead of putting a black mark on his record.

Mary can admit when a child is out of her league, but she's not easily deterred and doesn't want to give up without a BIG fight.

So wish Mary luck, she wants to do a good job for this child the same as with the other children in her care.