I'm not over it.

Spent the whole day on Friday up the road in Vancouver.
My employer sponsored an all-day event.
"It's all about YOU!"

Uh huh.

It wasn't optional, although I'm sure I could have come up with an excuse or a headache. They did avoid the word mandatory, which always seems to me to be loaded and adversarial.

Instead they said you are expected to be there. Which is of course another way of saying mandatory.

I don't mind attending work things if they'd just stick to business, toss it all out there and be done by noon.
 
But no. We were to arrive by 7:45 and stay until 4:30. The gigantic parking lot was filling up and people were driving the wrong way in the little lanes.

Between being unfamiliar to most of us and poorly marked, it wasn't a surprise. I managed not to collide with anyone and no one flipped me off or honked at me. (No one beeped their car horn, either) Haha.

No one was there to direct traffic once we entered the building, either.
People just sort of milled around, looking blankly at one another. Bunch of people I didn't know. I showed up early, I didn't know for sure how long the drive would take. Lots of traffic between here and there. So for an event that was to begin at 7:45, I arrived about 7:10. I found a seat at an empty table where I was joined in a few minutes by a guy who looked a little lost and confused, too. We chatted a few minutes until he saw someone he knew and he got up to go hang out with him.

I saw a few people heading down the hallway toward some double doors, and decided to follow them. I found a large room with tables full of name tags and people AT the tables handing them out.

I was told that the schedule in my folder was color-coded and that I should show up at the classes that were marked in green throughout the day.

It would have been helpful had they pointed the way to the next room, as that's where things were scheduled to start, but as usual, 'organized' and 'insert name of employer here' don't really belong in the same sentence.

Those nice people handing out name tags said classes, but this day was billed as 'training'. It was more a series of mini seminars/workshops.

Um, communication, problem solving... corporate stuff.

I don't find the ideas invalid, although sometimes I feel like our money could be better spent in improving individual areas of our work.

Kind of like building a house and then later on going, huh, I guess we should have started with a foundation.

Instead of trying to fix the foundation since the house is already built, let's figure out how to shore up the walls and support the roof, ya know?

Ah well.

So, also in the 'Green Group'?
The husband of Fluffy, the horrible bitch who ruined my other job.
I don't know him. I've heard that he's not a bad person. He's been with my organization for a long time. Runs a different division and I almost never see him.

He may not be a bad person, but I found that every time he opened his mouth, I rolled my eyes.

And to be fair, he is one of those guys who knows something about every topic being discussed and can't stop talking.

And we all know how I enjoy being around people like that, now don't we?

Also, he has an annoying voice. Twangy and nasal. Now I'm the last person in the universe who would point at someone else and call 'em 'fat', I'm pretty much a heifer myself.

But every time he talked with that deep South nasal twang, inside I said, "JUNIOR SAMPLES in the house!"


I'm a bitch, I admit it. But it still made me laugh. And the reaction I had to him (I really, really disliked him, far out of proportion to the annoying voice and knows-something-about-everything attitude) tells me that I'm not over the whole crappy ending of my other job. I don't like him because he and the bitch are attached to one another.

I overheard him catching up with someone he hadn't seen in awhile, too.
He was talking about how, "Sherri was working for Champions and after a few years she got burned out. So she took some time off."

Yeah, she took time off 'cause she was put on a leave of absence and then demoted when she was allowed back. At least that's what I heard. I didn't work there anymore, but I sent all the commentary I could in every direction possible after I left.

No, I didn't snort derisively or even slow down as I was walking past the conversation. But I thought his version of events was funny. Then I realized that she might not have even TOLD him why she wasn't working! She is a devious piece of shit.

"She's back with them now, though," he assured his listener.

I'm glad to be free from them, personally. 
Doing fine where I am now. Making nearly double what I made after twelve years with Champions, actually.

Assholes.

Past it?
Yes.
Moved on.

But I don't forgive and forget, as I have mentioned before.
I'm not Jesus and I don't have Alzheimer's.

In other news, remember Marlene? I worked with her with my current employer. Even though I warned her that they were morally bankrupt assholes who don't care about kids in the slightest, SHE went to work for Champions when schools opened back up. We had a conversation not too long after that, she was considering coming back to our current employer, but wasn't sure about it.

Well, she had some family stuff going on and her manager at Champions was a real dick about it. Gave her a bunch of shit for needing to take time off to care for a family member.
A lot of shit.

So she quit on them.
Good for her.

"You were right," she told me. "I have never met more assholes in one place!"

Being right isn't the good part, though.

The really good part is that she has filled out paperwork and is returning to my current employer. And if all goes according to plan, she will be taking over at the school I got bumped to in January.
And I will be able to go back to MY PLACE and MY KIDS!

I'm not holding my breath, so much changes, and often when you least expect it. But I am hopeful.

Hoping I don't have to be in the same room with Junior again, either.
What a doorknob.

Dear State Daycare License Person

Thank you for the quick response.

On Monday afternoon this week, November 18th, the latest site director, Doofus, had taken her group from the cafeteria. There was a book fair upstairs in the library, so I assume that's where they went. Because of the book fair, the building's front doors had been blocked open.
There were strangers in our building.
People were free to roam around.

I was in the hallway outside our room observing the restroom door/my room while one of my kids used the restroom.

One of the MBDC kids ran past me in the hallway and went into the empty cafeteria.
He ignored my, "Slow down, Buddy."
He grabbed his backpack and ran past me going the other way about 10 seconds later, again ignoring my request for him to slow down.
I heard his feet pounding up the stairs a moment later.

I'm assuming he forgot his book fair money.
But no child should be unaccompanied while his caregiver is on another floor of the building.

Not only is it a licensing infraction, it's not very smart.

I will be notifying our principal as well.

Thanks,

Mental

Hi Mr Principal,

I had my kids outside yesterday afternoon while the other group was out there and observed numerous school rule violations with the other group. I brought my kids in, as I would not want any of my parents to think my group was jumping off play structures and using equipment inappropriately.

Since I can't tell the other kids what to do, I thought it was better to vacate.

In addition, I just sent this (above, for you blog readers) to the state licensing person responsible for the MBDC program. I doubt anyone will bother you with it, but wanted to give you a heads up.

Another Shot Across the Bow

About six months after I took this job I looked at the school's website.
Not even sure why, probably wanted to see the school year calendar.
I saw a tab for parents, clicked on it and saw my company listed as a childcare choice.

The link was dead, though.

I talked with Kathy, the school secretary, she had it fixed within a few hours. She's efficient.

At the beginning of the next school year, she asked me what I'd like to have appearing on the school website, so I wrote a little thing for it and emailed it to her.

Again, it was super fast.

After my former employer started their aggressive marketing at our school, I probably should have known, but I hadn't thought about it much. I'm sure you know where I'm going with this.

Looked at the school website on Sunday evening and POOF, my program description and link to our main office was gone. It was alllll about Morally Bankrupt Daycare, Inc.

Summer is when families who are relocating into the district are looking for daycare. It's when people who've had a change in employment or other circumstances take the time to consider options for school year care.

We missed an opportunity to talk about our program after those dirtbags got us excluded from the Connect to Kindergarten event, and then they managed to get us removed from the school website for the summer, another crucial time.

So I let my manager know via email, but I also emailed Kathy, my school's head secretary, at her school district email address.

"I was looking this morning and found that the (Current Employer) link that USED to be there is GONE and it's all about Morally Bankrupt Daycare.

Obviously I'd like to see my program listed as a childcare option.

Anything I need to do?

Grr."

She got back to me right away.

" Hi Susan,
I'm going to forward your email to the principal and hopefully, he can check into it with the appropriate people at the district office and get some resolution. It sure does look like they (district?) removed everything we'd put on there about your program.  I'm off for summer, back on August 1st. Have a great one!"

I thanked her for taking the time to get back to me and wished her the same happy summer.

Meanwhile, my manager once again tried to communicate with Flunky at the district offices.

Flunky is our main point of contact. He failed to return her calls when all of this shit started and is still managing to fail returning those calls now, too.

Asshole.

But Kathy, my amazing school secretary... well, you've heard it before. Actually right here on this blog. And if you've been around a few years, you heard it more than once while you were growing up. Right?

Say it with me... It's not what you know, but WHO you know

Kathy forwarded my email to the principal. And she could have just left it at that, it's not her responsibility to deal with my stuff. And like she said, she's off for summer.

The NEXT day, she emailed me.

Hi Susan,
I heard back from the district office and they wanted you to know it was unintentional that your information was removed from our website. They are working on a way to have both (your program) and MBCC represented and that should be fixed soon. The gal who did it was very apologetic! 
Have a great summer and I'll see you when we all return!


Okay, so we all know that's a little bit of bullshit from the district office. Probably the same person who sent out the letter apologizing for the 'miscommunication' when they had made the decision to kick my program out of the school, kept us from being able to represent our program during the K event, and failed to follow written procedures for allowing a new company into the district to provide child care.

It was NOT unintentional to take our stuff off the website.
Someone had to press the delete button.
Or click on something to get rid of that little paragraph.
It wasn't an accident.
And I'm willing to bet that Fluffy and her little Flunky were behind that little goof.

But. I checked the school website immediately after I heard from Kathy.
And not only was my information restored the way I'd originally written it (and funny how it was not done on purpose but that little paragraph was somehow saved?)  it's listed FIRST, before MBDC.

Just shows me that I can't relax for a goddamn minute because of that nasty hag and her minions.

I'm grateful for my school staff.

The last week of school I noticed something else.

Cassie, who sits at that other front desk, had MY program information on the counter, along with our brochures. I asked her where MBDC's information was, and she said it was in her desk drawer.

"I'll be happy to hand it out, but someone will have to specifically ask for it," she said with a sly grin. "We know that you have a great thing going here."

It's not what you know....

It's been __ days since the last incident

I'm fine.
How are you?

I got up for work on Monday morning, did the usual shower and all that stuff, and grabbed a sweatshirt off the back of my chair on my way through the kitchen.
I turned on my left leg to grab my keys and there was this.. pop behind my knee.

It hurt, but not in a debilitating way, so I headed out the door.

Drove to my school, a commute of about six minutes. When I got out of my car, I almost couldn't walk. My knee hurt SO MUCH in the back! Oh my goodness. I walked very slowly into the building and to my little room. Where I sat on one of the wheeled chairs the entire morning.

When I returned in the afternoon, I brought my cane.

On Tuesday, I was still using the little wheeled chairs to scoot around the room a bit. Set out a project, some Goldfish and little orange slices in juice at the snack table, got out the LEGO rug and the book cart.

Our custodian had done the floors in there during the day, so I was paying close attention to the mess around the snack table. When Hayden dropped one of his crackers on the floor, I wheeled over to grab it.

Leaned forward in my chair, the chair tipped all the way forward and dumped me on the floor.

There was a collective gasp from the kids.
A lot of, "Are you okay?!?!"

I was. Except for the pinkie on my left hand. Not sure how I managed it, but I broke a blood vessel in the knuckle so it got ugly and discolored right away. But I was fine. No residual soreness. I was able to get right up, too.

Bizarre.

As I write this on Thursday night, my knee feels a lot better, too. I was able to dispense with the cane today. I told Eric last week that something felt funny in the back of my knee, too. I have had a cyst inside there once before. It was taken care of during one of the knee surgeries. I'm wondering if that's what was going on this time, too.

::shrug:::

There is a ton of stuff going on work-wise.

I'm pleased to announce that because of Fluffy's meddling and the avalanche of support from my families, my program will be running year-round starting this coming school year.

No more traveling to crazy and out-of-control sites, I'll be running things MY way at MY site.
We have a new contract with the school district.

I keep meaning to actually catch you up, but then I have this training or that in the evening to go to (finally done with those thank goodness) and then other shit going on... so yeah.

How's life in your world? 

Happening now...

I was looking around our little space Wednesday afternoon and making mental notes of what the kids were doing.

Since that stupid bitch and her shitty substandard programs are coming into MY school, I want to be prepared by having lists and commentary on paper to make assorted educrats happy.

You can bet that she will have spread a ton of her own private brand of educratic fertilizer at the district level before she ever walks in to my building.

I'm going to be under observation by district educrats a couple times, I'm sure.

And they'll be looking for any excuse to dump my program because Fluffy, although she's a lying asswipe narcissistic piece of crap, can speak fluent educationalese.

And she blinks and giggles her fake little laugh and touches people on the arm and shoulder and drops names.

Of course the people she's trying to impress have no idea how much of a fucking jerk she is. They don't know about how she shits on people and then blames them. How she pretends that she's trying to 'make it better' when she has no intention of doing anything constructive. She only understands destructive.

I'll be working on lists over the summer and putting it in a binder.
::sigh:::

I have to use words like 'cooperative learning' instead of 'having fun together'.
'Low-organized physical activity' instead of 'playing outdoors'.
'Book report' instead of 'sharing gross facts from Ripley's books'.

Too bad I can't just say 'respect for children'.
That pretty much covers everything.
And Fluffy's programs won't be able to use that concept in any words, ever.

Too bad the educrats in the local school district have more respect for hand-flappy narcissistic bitches who speak educationalese than they do for kids.

Okay, so Wednesday's the day I have the largest attendance, 14 kids.

The way I set things up divides the room into activity areas. The corner with the furniture (chairs and footstools and a little round table) gets the book cart.

That area also ends up being the house/restaurant area while we're not reading.

I have a dramatic play box.
Tracy calls it 'the family stuff' which I think is adorable.
"Susan? Can I please get out the family stuff?"

Included are old computer keyboards, remote controls, old cell phones (no batteries) restaurant order pads, baby dolls (the kids are expected to treat them like they'd treat a real baby, which helps us keep our things nice.) We have plastic plates and goblets and teacups. Tablecloths, cloth napkins. Baby blankets and little hats. We have triplets now, I picked up twins at Sprawlmart last year and found a single one this week at Goodwill.

Same set, different clothes.

I had a few rugs out.

One of the rugs had the dollhouses and the bin of furniture and dolls. Amelia and little Sophie were playing there. Kaysie was reading a book, Kellie was sitting at my table watching Colin draw Zentangles and trying to interest him in conversation. He was answering her in monosyllables when he answered at all, mostly he just focused on what he was doing. 

The bigger rug had three bins of LEGO around it.
Juan, Esme and Drew were busily building and conversing.

Another rug had the bin of blocks. Stevie was lying along the edge of it, happily building a castle and singing Jingle Bells.

There's a table and art cart in the corner of the room.
Alex and James, Hayden and Will were all drawing with stencils, comparing their creations and laughing at fart jokes because that's what they do.
(Studying anatomy, low-organized health instruction, haha.)

There's something for everyone. And even with all those activity possibilities, there's still more to choose from. Origami and games. Chess, checkers... pretty much any game you can think of from easy to teenager . Pattern blocks and fake food and magnetic building blocks.
We also have a ton of do-it-yourself projects, paper mosaics, pom critters, pipe cleaners, watercolor paints, whiteboard markers. String and yarn and googly eyes. Rhinestones and sequins and glue. Special colored pencils and gel pens. Blending stumps and graphite pencils. Books about Zentangle, circle art, Ed Emberly's Fingerprint Drawing book with stamp pads.

It makes me happy to have all that stuff ready just in case a kid wants to make/create. Makes them happy, too. They know they're allowed to get things out when they want to, as long as they take care of things and then return them to their proper location.

I have games that are 10 years old that still have all the pieces.
Game boards in good condition.
I expect good stewardship.
The kids help each other remember, too.

All the things we have are educational, but I admit the educational value of it is always the last thing I consider. When I think about bringing a new item into the mix, I consider whether it will be fun, if I have room for it in our existing bins and cupboards and if they'll use it more than once or twice to make it worth the investment.

See, the thing is, you can't stop a child from learning.

And the Fluffy method of writing it all down and making portfolios about the kids  actually limits their learning. Breaks down what should be natural and fun into just another way for Fluffy and her minions to control children.

I know I've been granted a temporary reprieve.
It's not a good time to become complacent.
I'll need luck.
And educrats with open minds.
Which is a contradiction in terms.
::sigh:: 

The Plot Thickens

Yesterday afternoon I was given a letter to hand out to my parents.

The school district is 'sorry for the miscommunication' and will continue their partnership with my company. They're going to offer BOTH programs in our school and parents will be allowed to choose their own daycare!! Isn't that magnanimous? And I'm sure I'm the ONLY person who looked at the letter and compared the 'miscommunication' with the 'wardrobe malfunction' from the 'zomg I saw Janet Jackson's boobie on TV'  debacle of 2004.

Okay, so remember Fluffy?

If you don't, she's the narcissistic bitch who ruined my happiness in my old job. Brought in her shitty, mean spirited friends and ignored the horrible way they treated the children in their care. Turned her back on blatant emotional abuse of the little people she was supposed to protect and crapped on everyone who'd built their thriving programs.

I wrote as much of it down as I could because I was afraid that the summer I took off for my ankle surgery would cause me to forget what an asshole she was and that I'd end up going back in the fall and putting up with her bullshit again.

So if you put Fluffy into the little search field up there, you'll get some idea of what a diseased person she was and still is.

Fluffy's the one who turned those vibrant and fun places for kids into little schools after school. That's what the programs are now. Sadly.

Fluffy's ferret-faced husband works for the same company I work for but a different branch. He runs a resident camp.

A lot of kids have gone through his camps.
Grown up and become adults.
It's sometimes been mentioned in company newsletters, that history of one person or another all grown up now and what a great influence the company has been!

I don't know about that, but I know Fluffy works hard to maintain connections with people who can help her in some way or another. She's a name-dropper, she did it the first time we all met her at the business meeting (and countless later occasions). Told us about this person and that. Told us in her fake teeny-bit-o'-Texas accent that she knows a senator and a famous educator, hand flappy, blink blink, flap flap, smile the piranha smile, blink blink, blah blah blah.

So here's a fun fact.
The mid-level flunky at the district who completely bypassed WRITTEN procedure and approved Fluffy's programs to run in five of our local schools is one of Ferret-face and Fluffy's 'good friends who attended Camp Ferret-Face' AND!!! He used to WORK FOR MY COMPANY!

I had a conversation yesterday with someone at my office. She's waaaay up there in management. Not mid-level... much higher.

I was told a lot of things.

Flunky refused to return any phone calls to my company representatives this week after the fiasco. He did manage to call some of my parents back (and tell them lies about how programs were observed and compared) but apparently got 'sick' and was out on Thursday and Friday. I'll bet the little asshole was sick... he hadn't expected people to talk mean to him!

He approved the Fluffy programs to run without the usual vetting process and without offering a seat at the table to anyone else. There are more than two companies out there in this line of work and there is an actual procedure to follow.

But it's not what you know but who you know. I'm sure I'm not the only person who's heard that particular phrase.

I can't tell you that going after my program was personal.
I don't know.
Except for seeing that narcissistic dipshit twice in passing in the last three years, we've been on separate pathways since I left Morally Bankrupt Daycare.

But it was pointed out to me then, and more than once since then by more than one person that pissing off a narcissist is another gift that keeps on giving.

I'm guessing that since she's going to be in charge of those programs that sneaked in, I'm going to run into her.

Won't that be special?

(insert profanity here)

Despite the heartfelt NO from my principal, the school has district decided to toss my program out in favor of the morally bankrupt shitbags I used to work for.

That was Monday's news.
On Tuesday, my work office decided to call and notify all my families of the upcoming change.

This did not go over well.

My families are FURIOUS. Not only are the reviews of MBS abysmal, they don't want me to leave.

It has nothing to do with my employer, it's me, personally.
Flattering, but flattery ain't gonna help.

What will help are those who are up in arms, making angry calls to district offices, to my school and everyone they can think of.

So this morning I was told by the principal that after the backlash, the district is considering operating my program and MBS at the same time in our school.

Now I'll work with that if it happens, but these short-sighted mealymouthed motherfuckers (ah, there's the profanity) who've been taking calls at the district level are dumber than a goddamn rock.

It's supposed to be a PILOT program... meaning not in all our schools, just one or two. So why in MY school? The one school in the entire district offering an after school program? And not just a program... a successful one.

I've taken the program from a faltering mess with four kids to a program at capacity with a waiting list in only three years.

I'll keep you updated, although I doubt it's as important to you as it is to me.

I've gone through a lot of feelings in the last few days, and I'm sure that when I sit down and talk with my kids this afternoon, I will manage to keep my tears in. It's not that I'm ashamed to cry, but as I've said a hundred times before, one of the reasons I'm good at what I do is that I remember being a child.
Seeing an adult cry always scared/upset/made me anxious.
I wanted to have control of my emotional state before I talked to my little people.
But I think it's fair to keep the kids posted on what's going on.

And I'll keep talking with my parents about the conversations they're having with the district.

Three of them have told me that the mid-level flunky they've talked to is full of shit, lies and obfuscation. Well sure, that's his job. They're now insisting on talking to someone over his head.

Although I know the decision isn't about me, personally, I take it personally. No one from the district ever came to observe me or my program. They didn't talk with my parents. They just looked at the flash (offered with cash) from MBS and joined in with the whole "it's EDuCAtional" bullshit they spout.

Not one of those dickwads has a clue what's best for children.

Gah.

An answer of sorts...

I dropped off my stuff in our little room Tuesday afternoon and then zipped back out to my car for a bottle of water. I was trying to hurry because it was almost time for the bell to ring, releasing the horde.

I was turning to come back into the building when our principal, heading the other way, called my name.

I stopped, figuring I had at least 30 seconds before my kids started showing up.

Hadn't seen him since I got back from my vacation, but even though I've been dying to find out what's going on with the idea of my former employer  (Assholes, Inc) taking over childcare in our district, I didn't want to bug him. I figured he'd eventually let me know.

He said, "I didn't want you to think I'd been avoiding you."

"I didn't," I told him. "I know you have a lot going on."

"So, here's what I did at the meeting," he told me. "First, I understand that they're wanting to pilot a program at one school in the district to see how it goes. I told them that I don't want them doing it at my school, as we already have a successful program and we don't want it to go anywhere. If they allow this company to open programs in our district, it won't be for quite awhile. Definitely not this year. And I know for sure it won't be next year, either. I'd like to keep your program going."

I thanked him and told him that's what I want, too.

"I'm happy here, It's a second home. Everyone has been so helpful to me and to my program and what I do. I feel valued and supported here."

"Yeah, I told them I wasn't looking to make any changes here. I don't know a lot about that company, but I am acquainted with a couple principals in your former district, and I know they're not thrilled with their programs. They said the quality that used to be there has gone downhill a bit in the past three or four years."


Huh. What a coincidence. That's when Fluffy and her Cavalcade of Cunts came in and ruined everyone's programs.

"I worked for them for twelve years. And it may be unprofessional of me to say so, but I feel that they're inherently disrespectful of children. I want no part of them."

He didn't say anything about that, but that's okay. I also told him I'd be willing to have people from the district come and observe my program, "Anytime."

He told me that won't happen this year, or maybe not even next year. So we'll see.

Meanwhile, I will fill out a bunch of 'project objective' sheets. I learned a long time ago to translate everyday activities, games and kid fun into something educrats can understand. Ever since Caustic (one of the bitches from my old job) came in to see my program the first time and said scornfully, "They're not learning anything. They're  just playing!" (OMG that woman was a hag...) I've been aware on some level of what my kids are doing and what sort of educational standards we're achieving. Not that I care, I know they're happy and learning just like my own kids did... by pursuing the things that are interesting to them.

I won't bother the kids with it, but when educrats show up, they like to think that kid keepers are practicing coercion with the kids. Making them learn something.

'Cause we don't want to waste even a moment of educational time, now do we?

I'm quite capable of talking about my program's educational value and demonstrating that the kids are learning. I make sure to use the phrase 'stealth learning' and act like there's nothing more important than forcing kids to do it.

It's funny. Although it's bigger than my butt, I'm pretty sure my cynicism doesn't show on the outside. However, sometimes I feel like the people who aren't able to see it must be missing a good portion of their attic insulation.

So we'll go on with the program, the kids will keep having fun, I'll keep track of what they're doing on paper in a binder and continue to let them have a good time.

And at least for the rest of this school year and probably next, in the same place I've been doing it.

Well fuck a goddamned duck.

I messed with the settings on my blog ages ago and made it less easy to search. Back when those shitbag comp lawyers were reading it. Although that was sort of silly, I guess, since I specifically wrote many posts for them to read. Dumb shits.

So that heading,'Fuck a goddamned duck' may not attract a lot of notice, which is fine. I write for me.
(It's fine for you to read, too...)

On the other hand, I may attract some kind of weirdo after all.
Who knows?
::shrug:::

Wait... raise your hand if you're weird.
:::waiting:::

Ah yes, I see you over there in the back. And you, halfway up the aisle, feet hanging out into the walkway. And you, groping your neighbor.

Huh. I guess there are more of you than I thought.
I can't see the point in worrying about weirdos now.

Yep, this IS one of you. I think.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

So my principal talked to me a few weeks ago. He said that the district was going to send out a survey to parents in the district to find out their feelings and wishes about childcare being offered in each school. At that time he assured me that he'd already let the district know that he was quite happy with the care already being provided in our school and that there was 'nothing' to worry about.

I worried. He told me to tell parents that it was 'just a survey' and that no one was planning to change our arrangements. I still worried, but didn't say much about it. What could I say?

So then, one of my parents came in and said that she'd received the survey and it was about the SUN program. Which, in my opinion, is a terrible program. The people who work in that program do not have to pass a licensing inspection, they get around that law as well as others through some legal but shady maneuvering.

I have seen several of their programs in action. None of them were programs I'd ever trust my child(ren) with. Appalling is just one word I'd use. Ugh.

So I told her that our principal had assured me that everything was fine, that our program wasn't going anywhere.

I actually believed it.
Until today.

Today our principal stopped by to tell me that the district is 'probably' going to have THE COMPANY I USED TO WORK FOR!!! (aka Assholes Inc, not the SUN program) come into our district and run programs before and after school.

"But of course we'll take steps to ensure you remain the site coordinator here. Apparently they usually hire the people who are working in the current programs."

I smiled at him.
"Um. I used to work for them. That's where I was just before I got here. I will never work for them again. They're horrible individuals and a terrible company to work for."

He told me, "Well, don't worry about it yet, I am going to a meeting tomorrow and I'll learn more about what's going on then."

Have you ever worried? And had someone suggest to you that you not worry?
Were you then magically able to stop worrying?

Yeah, me neither.

Now if it *does* happen, I won't work for those awful people again.

I doubt they'd want me anyway, although I didn't use words like fuck and shit or phrases like up yours, I still did a pretty good job of burning bridges. I heard through the grapevine that some of what I said was useful in termination of the Big Fish, too. Not sure about that, but if it was, yay. At any rate, they wouldn't want me back and they couldn't pay me enough to even consider it. No fucking way.

They pay shit wages and not only do they treat their employees like crap, they're very disrespectful to the children stuck in their 'care'. It's only gotten worse since I left with the whole 'one art project every 10 days' and 'let's do school after school' stuff.

So I did my afternoon shift today with a big lump in my heart. The principal told me that he is to attend a meeting tomorrow in which more discussion will happen and that he'll have some better information for me tomorrow.

Now if it does happen, and I have to leave, I won't lose my job. The company I work for is always hiring. And opening new sites. They already know that I'm good at what I do, that I am able to form relationships with school staff and that I take the job seriously. I'm sure there's a place for me.

But goddamn it.

I don't want to start over again.

Fuck a goddamned duck.