Tossing Stuff

Is it just me?
I don't like waste.

When I was growing up, we always ALWAYS had too much month at the end of the money.

It's hard to save up when every dime is spent before you even get your paycheck, ya know?

And if you don't know, consider yourself fortunate.

So my mom wasn't a smart shopper anyway. Lots of stories about that. Every time I think about all that kinda stuff I get aggravated. I have issues from the years I spent wearing two pairs of pants and two shirts that had to be washed all the time. Ugh.

And the little town where we lived had ONE grocery store. It was then (and still is) overpriced. Their excuse was 'the shipping charges' but after spending about 12 years in the shipping/warehousing/inventory control business, I can tell you that's not really accurate. They're price-gouging assholes, they have a LOT of money and they have been ripping off the population of Grant County, Oregon for one hell of a long time.

The people who own that store are big people in the town hierarchy, so they've been able to vote against any competition. About 12 years ago, Safeway was exploring the idea of opening a store there, but the store owner's position/influence on the town council stopped that from happening.

So groceries are ridiculously priced now and they were then, too.

Mom always bought the smallest shampoo, laundry soap, toilet paper, paper towels. You get the idea. We ran out of things all the time.

She saved margarine containers and foil and all our old sheets and towels for rags. We wore our socks until they were rags, too. There were tons of little thrifty things we did.

She came to visit me once when Eric and I lived in Southern California. We didn't have kids yet, and both of us were working. When I went to the store, I bought BIG packages of stuff. The 'large economy' size according to the labels.

She went to the store with me while I did the week's shopping and was quite concerned about it.

"Why are you buying the large size? There are only two of you!"

It bothered her a lot. I did the math for her, explaining how it actually saved me money in the long run, but it was so weird to her after her decades of buying things like sample sizes that it left her feeling very odd. I know I wasn't able to convince her.

Ah well.

But some of that cheapskate behavior rubbed off on me. I used to save the small remnants of foil from the end of the roll in case I needed a small piece for something, like the end of a chicken drumstick or to divide up a pan with two different kinds of stuff in it. If there was a little bit of the silver polish left in the bottom of the tub, and it was crusty and dried out, I still kept it in case I needed to polish a bracelet I hadn't worn for months or my grandma's clip on earrings, the only pair I wear.

A tiny bit of window cleaner in the spray bottle but not enough so I'd buy a new bottle or a refill but the other one sometimes didn't get used up and I'd have four under the sink.

My big one was shampoo/conditioner. I buy big pump bottles of it. It stops pumping when there is still a bit left in the bottle, though. So the little bit was stored under the bathroom sink until I got around to getting out the big funnel and turning the bottle over into another bottle.

I figured it out once, it was something like 'buy 12, get one free'.

The amount of time I spent messing with it, wiping up the inevitable spills, making room for another bottle and another bottle until I finally managed to do the emptying, balancing it up on the edge of the sink in the right position and then waiting a couple hours for all of it to empty... well, that amount of time was ridiculous.

I ended up saving a total of about five dollars in a year. Not enough to justify all that work. So this last summer when we did the big cleanup, I finally gave myself permission to throw the shampoo bottles away when they stop pumping.

It was incredibly difficult to do that.

The big purge we did over the summer helped me change my way of looking at things, but it's still hard for me to just... act. To immediately go through the mail. To put things AWAY, not down.

It's time to do some cleaning again. Part of it is Mason and Alyssa. They have little space to call their own, but the overflow is starting to take over the living room. They are going to box some things up and put them in the shed, now that I've taken my boxes of stuff for work out.

I have to get things under control again, it was really nice for the month or so that it lasted.

Do you have clutter issues? Do you hold on to shit you don't need for a long time?

Please tell me I'm not the only one with issues.

Poverty Porn/Virtuegasm

An alternative high school (that's important, as 40% of the kids in this school are at or below the poverty line) in the state of Texas has opened a grocery store on campus.

The items in this store were donated by Albertsons or were paid for by outside sources, so it wasn't done with school district or other types of taxpayer funding.

In other words, free stuff.

So the store is stocked with donated items.
It's organized and kept clean and neat by the students.
And they can shop there at no charge.

Sounds good, right?
Take home a package of toilet paper or some granola bars or maybe some macaroni and cheese to share with your family.

Until you learn that, while no official currency is exchanged, the students who 'buy' things there do so by earning 'points'.

In the language of virtuous little scouts everywhere, good deeds.

So imagine you're a 15 year old boy. You're already considered an 'at risk' student, due to your family's lack of income, possibly the color of your skin.
Your family has to scrounge much more than most people could ever understand. You're in an alternative educational institution due to a variety of factors, possibly your own mental illness, your poverty, your abilities.

You show up at school hungry, angry, sad, tired.
Or any combination of those things.

It's utterly ridiculous to show this kid a whole huge classroom full of FREEEE! DONATED!! grocery items they may desperately need and expect him to jump through hoops and perform tricks to get some.

A snarky Twitter comment appeared in the article, “But before dividing the 5 loaves and 2 fish, Jesus developed a points system to see who in the crowd had brown-nosed enough to be worthy of eating that day.”

The principal, ironically named Mr. Love, is having virtuegasms over this project, loudly proclaiming to various news stations and I'm sure the local school board that he's doing A Good Thing. He's very proud of what he's done (HEY!! LOOK AT ME!!) and thinks that his program should be in schools all over the place. He is setting an example of how things should be!

Never mind that what it really means is hungry and disadvantaged kids have to show they're worthy of being able to wipe their asses or have a granola bar.

Let's say you're one of those kids. You have an exemplary day. You work hard in class, you open doors for your friends and teachers, you offer to help someone carry something or do something.

No. One. Notices.

So you go home at the end of the day having failed. You didn't bring home the 4 pack of toilet paper or the big tub of Kraft macaroni and cheese or a box of granola bars to share with your siblings.

So you failed all day and now you can think about how you failed all night long, too.

Making kids admit to being poor and then forcing them to perform tricks so they can get DONATED GOODS is an utterly horrendous thing to do. Making them earn social credit for something that should be freely given to them is just one more way the system is letting them down.

I understand the idea of teaching children morality/do the right thing.
As an adult who not only raised a couple of kids but is helping other people raise theirs (at least when the economy is actually moving along...) I work to show by my own example things like consideration for others, respect for myself and other people/property, kindness, a sense of proportion so that my reactions to slights aren't wildly inappropriate.

All of those things should never, not in ten billion years, have a thing to do with being fed, cared about or appreciated as a person.

Every young human deserves our best efforts to care for them and guide them as gently as we can. They deserve to be fed and nurtured and if we have the means to do so and we don't?

Well shame on us.

As a parent, had I withheld food from my children when they didn't do what I expected of them, I would have been in violation of the law. And also a real asshole, because WHO DOES THAT?????!!

And don't tell me that's not what they're doing.
It is.

They're showing them this... bounty of things they'd love, that they lack in their lives, that they can't even imagine having. They suffer from lack all the time. This wealth (simple sustenance and toilet paper for god's sake) is being withheld unless they do tricks for the people in authority over them.

I don't have the slightest idea how to change what Linda Tutt High School in Sanger, TX is doing to the young people in their care, unless a million people want to email this guy...  Anthony.love@sangerisd.net

I doubt anyone can change his mind, though.
Nothing more obdurate and stubborn and willfully ignorant than an educrat who thinks he's doing what's best for kids.

It's just unconscionable to me that they don't understand that they're withholding sustenance from the kids they're supposed to be caring about.

The school has the power to help and instead, they're using it to harm.

Makes me sick.

And one more thing. It's sort of secondary in this case, but WTF people? Using food as a reward?? These are supposedly educated people and they can't do any better than this?

Disgusting.

Church Karens on Halloween

 Remember that lady who thought I had Satan in me a couple posts back?
This is quite similar.

Annnd.. checked my blog on my phone and the video doesn't show up the way it does on my computer. So here's the YouTube link.

Flu Shot?

Do you get a flu shot?
I don't.

I have no issue with people getting one, of course.
Everyone needs to make decisions about their own health care.

My parents are usually the first ones in line at the annual free flu shot thing where they live.

I assume that most people consider all the angles before making their decision for or against.

Dr. Dirtball told me years and years ago that she wouldn't allow her family to get a flu shot or get one for herself. She said that it's not effective and it carries risks that she was not willing to take.

Well okay then.

I have a few opinions on the importance of the flu shot... first, they usually admit its effectiveness is based on speculation. They're not really sure whether the flu they're vaccinating against is the one that's coming.

It's a big moneymaker for clinics and for the companies that are producing the vaccine, too.

This year, and every year the clinic tells me that I NEED to get a flu shot!
Lots of emphasis on the 'need' part.

They say that every year.

You can get it at the pharmacy or at your regular doctor or at one of the drive-thru events held in various places around town.

Why are they working so hard to sell it?
Well, if they don't sell it, they don't make money on it, that's one thing.

Eric's health insurer sent him a flyer this week exhorting him to 'protect your loved ones with a flu shot'.

Appealing to one's wish to protect the ones they love can be effective, I suppose.

So can using the current crisis to sell the idea further. 'With covid-19, this year, it might be essential.'

Of course this year, everyone who's out and about in the places I visit is wearing a mask.

Handwashing has become a religion for me and mine, too. I'm careful to keep my hands away from my face and do all the things one is supposed to when trying to avoid becoming ill.

It seems to me that this year one has a smaller chance than usual of contracting whatever flu is going around, too.

People aren't going to work, kids aren't in school, most folks are staying home as much as humanly possible and did I mention everyone is wearing a mask?


Part of the reason I mistrust all the stuff 'they' say is all the BS that they can't prove.

'If you get the vaccine and still get the flu, your case will be milder.'
Um, how do they know that?
That implies they're psychic.
I don't think they are.

'The flu shot helped prevent 4.4 million flu illnesses and 58,000 hospital visits during the 2018-19 flu season'

Again, they're not psychics. And shouldn't be trying to act like they are.

'The flu shot can't give you the flu. It can't make you sick'

Eric knew a guy who actually died from an adverse reaction to the flu vaccination. He said he didn't want it, they talked him into it. In 24 hours he was sicker than hell, his doctor told him it was "definitely" the vaccine. The three months he survived after that were not good months. It made him really sick before it finally killed him.

I don't know.

I am not anti-vax, there are vaccinations I don't disagree with.

But there are some that cause me concern.

Gardasil, for example.
Banned in Japan, multiple lawsuits over horrendous effects including death... I gave that one an absolute no fucking way when it came out and it was suggested for my daughter.

I try to be careful about what I take and feel a little embarrassed that I listened to my doctor about the goddamn BP meds in July. It felt wrong. I knew it was a bad idea and I trusted her anyway.

Makes me more cautious and suspicious now.

So no judgement.
I am all for people making their own informed decisions.

I'm interested in your thoughts on this one.

 

 

 

Educratic Assholes

Margaret/Peg/Peggy's husband encountered a tone deaf superior fucking jerk while he was working.

Go read.
Go.Okay, are you back?

Are you steaming? Grrr, shit like this just pisses me the fuck off.
With my feelings about learning vs education, schooling vs actual understanding and the, oh I'll just say it, fucking educational snobbery I've encountered in my life (and lots of my friends/family have, too) that kind of thing really makes me want to slap.Repeatedly.

Maybe with some sort of kitchen item, perhaps a little wooden cutting board, you know the kind I mean?

I think they're for cheese, they have a little handle cut into them. I just know that would capture the attention of the person I hit with it.

Here, like this one only with a little bit bigger handle so you can really get a grip on it when you swing it and smack that assbag in the ear:

You'd think people who've attended college would have figured out long ago that college experience does not equal intelligence. Some of the dumbest damn people I've ever met were college graduates.

I used to know someone who added a tagline to her emails,

"1985 Graduate, Western State Collage"

Yes.
Collage.

There was a story making the rounds about a year ago about a guy who was repairing some sewer pipes and assorted other plumbing in a school building.

A teacher had walked past him working with his crew.

The kids were saying, "Eww, it's stinky!!" and holding their noses.

Their teacher said, "Yes it is stinky!! Stay in school so you won't have to do icky jobs, kids."

His response was that as the owner of the company he made over 200 thousand dollars last year, and that the lowest paid laborer he had made more money than the college-educated teacher.

But he didn't say it out loud, according to the story.
I think stuff like that should be said aloud.

Perhaps with a friendly 'up yours', or if that's not feasible (kids were present, after all) perhaps one could scratch their nose or arm with the middle finger, making sure the asshole could see it.

Of course stories like that are out there, and it's always a friend of a friend of a cousin's neighbor's friend, so I can't tell you it's true.

I can tell you I've personally witnessed a great deal of that kind of shit, and that it never fails to piss me off.

In my own life, it aggravates me that I've raised two kids, handled a den of Cub scouts, a troop of Girl Scouts and spent 15 years in my current line of work  but that a 22 year old just out of college with a degree in Women's studies or animal husbandry or any other damn thing is placed at the top of the Oregon Registry (a bullshit childcare thing) at an automatic step 10, which is the highest one can go. After all that experience I mentioned, I'm at step 7. There has been some talk about years of experience being taken into account for the registry, but I'm guessing it won't happen in my lifetime.

Why? Because we've allowed educrats to make the rules.

If I had school age kids, I would rather leave them with someone who has years and years of experience than a barely-older-than-teenaged bubblehead.

But that's just me, I guess.
Until October 31st of last year, Eric was working for one of those condescending superior assholes and his wife.

Wife was a little smug, too. If you hadn't attended college, you were not intelligent or worth her time.Eric joined Tom and Mary as they were starting the company.
They promised him profit sharing, access to the books, vacation time... oh a whole list.

They even stuck to that list for a few years.
The first full year they were in business was a banner year, and he received a 10 thousand dollar bonus in December.

But little things kept being changed. They took away his holiday pay. His paid time off. Vacation pay. If he didn't work, he didn't get paid.

Yes, I know that's normal for some companies, but it's not what they promised him while they were working so hard to get him to sign on with them.

I complained to him a little, but it was his job and his thing and I'm not his mommy and he was the one who had to deal with them. But that little coal of resentment I had just got bigger and bigger. By the time they cut his salary by HALF, that little ember had become a goddamn conflagration.

And I tried really hard to say not much of anything, it wasn't my job.
I know I mentioned this here at one time, but I'm too lazy to look it up.
Eric and I had written the employee handbook for his previous employer. We did a great job on it, covered everything that needed to be covered and did it with correct grammar, punctuation and formatting.

I was having a phone conversation with Mary, she had learned I was the author of the handbook. She went on and on about how well-written it was, and how she didn't have to do any editing other than changing the company name and how impressive it was.

That I 'seemed to have thought of everything.'

When she finished telling me how wonderful that handbook was, she asked, "Where did you go to college?"

"I didn't."

There was an intake of breath on the other end of the line. Then a couple beats of silence. Then, in a subdued and obviously disappointed tone, she said, "Oh. You seemed so articulate."

It was a long time ago.
About 25 years or so.
I don't remember what I said.

I'm surprised it took me so long to be deeply offended, but for whatever reason, I was always cordial to her after that. It didn't occur to me that her comments were disrespectful until a few years later.

I guess since I didn't go to college I'm not as quick.

Now I'd tell her, "And you seem very snobby."

I actually wasn't aware of how disrespectful Tom was to Eric until the company and the marriage went down the crapper.

This story is one of dozens I heard AFTER the company went under.

One frigid December day, Eric was the only employee who'd showed up for work. He was slogging through half-frozen mud with a wheelbarrow full of rocks when Tom showed up to talk to the homeowner.

The homeowner expressed concern about how cold it was and how hard Eric was working. Tom drew himself up proudly and said, "That's why I went to college. I don't have to work like that."

Tom's an asshole.

No word on whether the marriage and the company died in tandem or if one of them went before the other. My guess is that the two entities kept taking big pieces out of each other, everything was teetering on the brink of collapse and then the two "adults" in the relationship kicked it the rest of the way over. The end result is the same, it all went down in flames.

And without warning, at least to Eric.

Of course Tom and Mary knew it was coming, probably for a couple months but they said nothing to him about it. They wanted him to finish the outstanding work so they could collect their payment.
I'm actually surprised they gave him his final wages.

If you haven't been reading here long, about two weeks after they said, "Oh by the way we're going out of business, filing for bankruptcy and getting a divorce so fuck off now," Tom called Eric on the phone to offer him a 'business opportunity'.

Tom had already signed a two year contract to work for someone else, so all Eric would need to do would be to use OUR good credit (because of course Tom's was shot to shit), run the whole business for two years and, since Tom didn't have any money, put up TEN GRAND from our funds.

That's it. Bankroll the startup, run everything for two years and get it going, then step aside I guess when Prince Tom was able to take over.

Eric told him he'd think it over.

When he called Tom a few days later, he was barely able to get the words, "I've thought it over and," out of his mouth before Tom hung up on him.

Twenty five years working for the guy and he didn't even say goodbye.

Guess they don't teach manners in college.

Above and Beyond. Way Beyond.

This link leads to a news story.

In case the link is no longer working or you don't want to click on it, the shortened version is that an 8 year old child attending school in Woodburn had been given permission to use adult restrooms due to a medical issue.

His teacher saw him using the adult restroom and made the incredible fucking leap in 'thinking' assumption that he was using the adult bathroom because he was transgender. Further, that he was confused and badly in need of guidance.

From the article:

In April 2018, without notifying the parents and without any authorization from the school district, the teacher began developing a lesson plan to help the boy understand what it meant to be transgender. 

She then began keeping the student inside the classroom alone during recess at least three times to show him videos and teach him "it is acceptable to become transgender."

These lessons included episodes of the reality television series "I Am Jazz" about a transgender girl named Jazz Jennings, books "I Am Jazz" and "Who are You? The Kid's Guide to Gender Identity" and discussions on the difference between male and female body parts. 

The books and show, which were recommended by an "unknown non-school employee transgender individual," exposed the boy to sexual topics and sexual discussions, according to the lawsuit. 

During the lessons, the student was not allowed to go outside for recess until he finished the videos or books.
::snip::
The parents filed a complaint with the school but said school officials minimized what has occurred, telling them "If this happened in Portland, it would not be a big deal."

So the child's parents are angry.
I would be, too.

As a person who works with children, I do what I can to avoid adding worry or anxiety to a child's life. I haven't been faced with anything that didn't have some sort of solution so far. Thank goodness.

Part of the reason I'm able to help is that I recognize that I don't have all the answers. What I have are resources and support.
So when something comes up, I know who to talk to.

And the people I consult are the type who'd send me to a different expert if they didn't have the answers.

It's important to realize when one doesn't know everything. And we all know what happens when we assume.
Seems this teacher wasn't aware of that.

I hope there is some follow up in news stories. I'd like to know how this is resolved.

One of Them

After the election, someone who thinks she can extrapolate my politics from, well, I'm not sure, added me to a private Facebook group. This isn't a person I know in real life, it's a person who's been an online acquaintance for many years. Since about 1996, I think. We met through homeschooling and have stayed in touch a little bit. Certainly not enough for her to know what my political leanings are, but for whatever reason, she thought I voted for Hillary Clinton and would appreciate being part of a secret Facebook group.

This group started out as a gasping, wounded, floundering thing... 'oh my god Hillary LOST??!??!' and has quickly turned into basically a group about virtue signalling. (Look at my safety pin! Look at me! I am a safe person, I did a good thing for a ________.) You can fill in that blank with gay or Muslim or bi-racial or whatever.

The posts are divided between "I did a nice thing for" and "I am a _______. Give me some encouragement about who I love/my mixed children/my religion."

I don't have a problem with any of those things, of course.

I believe there is value in all people and that one should stand up for those who, for whatever reason, are not able/afraid to stand up for themselves.
 
I'm lurking and reading. I don't have any sinister motives. Many people have written posts to explain how the group has given them courage/strength/hope. Helped them stand up for themselves or for others. This is not a bad thing, although I think their taste in political candidates may need adjusting. :)

I'm still trying to figure out how someone decided that because I homeschooled and I don't hate people based on religion, skin color, gender, sexual preference... I prefer to hate people who have earned it, haha, that I would appreciate being added to a pro-Hillary group.

It's been instructive. People are tired of being treated as less-than based on superficial characteristics. Worried about their future and the futures of their children and families. Worried that things are going to change now that Trump has been elected. These people were confident that Hillary would be the answer to all our problems and they're hurt and sad that she was not elected.

This is not the only Facebook group that someone added me to without my consent. A cousin added me to a pro-Trump group about a month and a half before the election. The rhetoric and bullshit was pretty amazing, but there were many people who just wanted things to be... better. You know... Hope and Change. Ever hear that one before? I left the group after about four days. I wasn't interested in helping Trump get elected, wasn't interested in still more ugliness from people who think his way. The positive posts were few, the negative stuff was a barrage. Of course it was another group of people preaching to the choir. A 'safe space' for them.

I realize that I'm not like most of the people in either one of those groups. I know I've mentioned that I did not vote for either one of our poor choices. I'm certainly okay with that.

You may be asking yourself if there's a point to this post.
I'm not sure there is.

I have always been able to see things from the viewpoint of others. I sometimes really have to work to understand why people think the way they do, but I do try.

I don't think the events reported in the first group I talked about are because Trump was elected, though. People treat each other like shit. Throughout history, people who are different have been ostracized and ridiculed. To read the stuff that's being posted, it's a sudden thing... just since he was elected.

I doubt it.

Can't change anyone's mind

I am horrified by the events of this week in which still another crazy person decided the best thing to do would be to shoot a bunch of other people. Although I am sorry for his family and the people who loved him, I am glad we're spared the expense of a trial and subsequent incarceration. And glad that he's no longer a threat to anyone.

Of course his actions were not legal.
That didn't stop him.

Making more laws aren't going to fix the problem. Laws that make it harder for people to legally obtain a firearm will just cause people to obtain them illegally.

Not exactly the same, but how many of you think a restraining order will solve domestic violence issues?

We will always have crazy people.

It makes more sense to me to be able to do something in one's own defense.
Hiding in a classroom and locking a door, arming yourself with staplers and other office-type supplies isn't going to help, either.

Instead of the exercise in futility that is making more laws, why don't we make sure our gun-free zones are secure places? Or put some armed people between us and them?

The shooting at Reynold's high school was stopped by armed men. The messed up kid who decided that killing a bunch of people was a great solution ended up dead himself, with a minimal loss of life. Because armed people were on the spot almost immediately.

I know that I won't be able to change anyone's mind. It's why I'm staying out of the debate on Facebook and with people I know.

Many of my online acquaintances have exquisite reflexes... causes them to knee jerk.

Guns are scary! They make me uncomfortable! BAN ALL THE GUNS! OMG OMG!!!

I understand their fear. But when your fear makes you completely irrational and unable to see reality, making new laws isn't going to fix YOU, either.

Having a bunch of fucking politicians decide who's capable of owning a firearm and who is not is a shitty idea, too. Consider the other decisions they have made against for us.

Unconditional

My sister in law, Snatchie, tossed me off her Facebook a couple years ago because I got into an argument with my brother Dick in which I said that people who claim to be Christians and don't love unconditionally are assholes and they make their god look like a petulant jerk.

It made me angry at the time especially because my brother was using my cousin Denette to advance his crappy book. Using her influence. Taking advantage of her. And he was too good to sleep in her house and then, after all she'd done for him, while saying goodbye, he hugged her and said, "Well, I don't approve of your lifestyle but I love you."

She is a better person than I am, she merely said she loved him too.
It makes me angry even now.

I have talked about my cousin here before. We did not grow up close friends for a lot of reasons, but when we grew up and had things in common, trying to build families and take care of our homes and just have a life, we found we had things to talk about. We ended up living in the same area for the first time in our lives and our relationship grew.

Denette's daughter became pregnant her senior year in high school. She chose to keep her baby rather than have an abortion. The baby was born six months before her mom graduated from high school.

At 17, most people aren't ready to be parents, and this case was no exception. The baby's father had gotten married (he was TWENTY FIVE when he was messing around with a 15 year old girl) and he and his new wife took the little girl when she was about five.

They tried to get sole custody and deny visitation to Denette and her daughter and the other members of the family. Denette took care of that and after court cases were over, it was agreed the little girl could see her mother. She flew back and forth for school breaks and summer vacations for a long time.

Fast forward to now. The little girl is 15 years old now. And recently came out as gay.

Her father and the person he's married to no longer want to have her in their home.

She's been sent to live with Denette and the rest of the family in Arizona.

There is so much wrong with this.
The worst thing to me is that she's in an entirely new school after growing up in the same place for most of her life. I know she'll be supported in her new life and that she's loved, but a 'loving' family doesn't toss out a young teenager because she is gay. Just disgusting.

This is not unconditional love, people.

And if you're reading here and you think a person who loves the same gender is somehow less than you or that your god doesn't approve of gay people, then you need to get your attitude and your life adjusted. Because you're the sick one.

Losing it?

Every year about this time I start seeing things online/news/memes about 'summer learning loss'.

They lament that it takes six weeks after the start of the new school year for kids to 'relearn' what they've forgotten.

What have they forgotten? All the useless bits of rote knowledge needed to start taking tests again.

Oh the humanity!!!!!

No one stops to wonder what the kids have been doing all summer. What they've learned. Whether they've had time to decompress and stop cramming useless things into their little brains.

The world has changed.
Not that there's ever been a particularly good reason for kids to know the principal exports of Bolivia, but now? If they need to know it for some random, dumb-assed reason, that information is only seconds away.

Tin. Gold. Oil.
Found that out in about 4 seconds. Why should a kid even need that? Anyone? And state capitals. Um. So? Easy to look up if you want to know. Unless you're traveling there or you care for some other reason, why spend three months of school time (and HOMEWORK) on memorizing them. How much useless crap are they making your kids memorize?

When people talk about 'learning loss' they're making the huge assumption that all the crap they're forcing kids to learn in school is important. That they somehow need to know all these things. And that kids who forget the useless crap are missing out on important things.

Horseshit.

Summer's the time for kids to do actual learning. To pursue things they're interested in. Did you ever stop to think about the things you learn? Why do you do it? For me, it's a wish to know things. To learn about things as they relate to me/apply to my life/just because.

Think about how you learn. Why do you do it? Why do you read? Why are you online? No one is forcing you to do those things as an adult. But as a kid, you may be a victim of public "education". You're being forced to serve your time and take your lessons as if they're all important and you won't be able to function without them.

It's one of the issues I have with colleges. Why force people to take classes that are not germane to their course of study? The old crap about it making well-rounded people is exactly that. Crap.

It's all about money. Always has been. All the way down to the Kindergarten kids. Our "educational" system exists primarily to justify its own existence.

We can do better. And one of the things everyone can do to help is to encourage their children to explore and learn and think for themselves. Not just during the summer, but all the time.

I understand why people have their kids in school.
And I've met so many wonderful teachers. People with enthusiasm and a heart for kids and a wish to make a difference.

But until we stop accepting what we're being taught as good for us and start questioning why and what our kids are being force fed, this bullshit about 'learning loss' will just be accepted.

No one seems to question the conventional wisdom. No one asks, 'who thinks this is necessary for my kid/me to know?'

Weird world we live in, isn't it?

Way Too Young

Over the summer, we had a 10 year old who had a very strange attitude toward food.

It took awhile for us to catch on, since we switched shifts during the day... lots of different people, lots of different opportunities to eat/not eat. The atmosphere was hectic and until we had a chance to really compare notes, we didn't realize what was happening.

But Alayna* was quite sneaky about it, it's possible that a less observant crew wouldn't have noticed anything.

Breakfast was picked at. She sat at a table with a lot of kids, chatting and laughing and sort of pushing her food around. She would take a graham cracker and sort of scrape it with her front teeth, then set it back down. Pretend to chew.

Spent the time at the table goofing around and waiting for everyone else to finish. When they did, she got up with them and threw her food into the garbage.

She did the same during lunch. We had the USDA feeding program (your taxpayer dollars at work, folks) which means that parents don't have to pack a lunch for most of the summer.

Alayna would take a lunch with the rest of the kids, sit and chew tiny bites off the edge of her sandwich until the sharing cart was opened, hide the food she had nibbled on in her brown paper bag and go for a second sandwich and another carton of milk when the sharing table was opened. Then she'd repeat the breakfast act. Sit and pretend to eat until her friends were finished, and then get up, toss all the food into the trash and go on with her day.

During the afternoons, she played the eating games at snack time, too.

Finally, after conferring with each other, we realized that she was going for entire days without eating while she was with us.

Phone calls were made.
We talked to her parents, too.
They had not been aware of the issue.

I don't know how she's doing now, she doesn't attend one of our regular programs. But for the rest of the summer, we gently made sure she ate. We had to sit with her at the table and watch, which felt like an invasion but of course we were worried over her and her parents had asked it of us. We tried to be unobtrusive and kind, but I'm sure she hated the loss of control. I know she moved away at the end of summer, and I fervently wish her well and hope she's eating and taking care of herself.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Another child was having food issues over summer, too.

She learned that the other kids would laugh if she ate a lot of food. And under USDA rules, we weren't allowed to tell her no.

So one memorable afternoon, she ate seven bagels. 12 little packages of cream cheese. Four apples. Drank six little cartons of milk. All from the sharing cart.

This happened during lunch but since I was doing the afternoon shift, it fell to me to bring it up to her parents.

I had a long talk with her mother, who told me that they'd been working on her food issues at home. Lots of professionals involved.

But until her mom gave permission, we weren't legally allowed to tell her something like, "That's enough." Her parents actually decided that they were going to pack her a lunch and drinks, and unless we were having an ice cream bar or otter pop, for the rest of the summer she was to eat nothing she didn't bring from home. I don't know if I will see her again, but she's another little person I'm sending good thoughts to.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I overheard a couple seven year olds not too long ago. (not kids in my program) They were poking each other in the tummy and giggling. One of them told the other, "You need to work out. You don't have any abs."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

So how did we get there as a society?
I know it utterly horrifies me.

It was fairly recently I saw this on Facebook. Katie here was in good shape and looked healthy. Then she lost 15 lbs and went skeletal. And the advertiser using the photo would like us all to think she looks better.

What do you think?

And who deserves to be fed?

I mentioned the summer food program training I had to attend on Thursday.

I don't agree with the politically correct bullshit (we must post a specific photo of the Statue of Liberty with the stirring phrase, "And Justice for All." within a certain distance from the food, for example. If we do not, "we are violating their civil rights.") but we're required to complete the exact SAME training every year in order to point to a sack lunch and say, "You must take a sandwich and milk. If you don't want a part of your lunch, you may place it on the sharing tray in ten minutes."

We heard several stories from people who've served lunches for years.
Examples of the things that can happen in your feeding program.

Many of the lower income apartment complexes run a USDA feeding program during the summer. I have ZERO problems with the idea of feeding children. In some cases, that will be the only meal the child gets each day all summer. There is no food available on weekends for them, either. That's NOT okay, and it makes me angry.
So the actual food is a good thing.

But it's meant to feed children.

The adults who own the kids often are hungry, too. We are to explain that the food is only for children, that they are not to take the food from the premises, and that no adult is to consume any part of a child's lunch. That's not us making up rules, that's the USDA.

So according to some people who administer the feeding program for a nearby apartment complex, there was a family that for the first two weeks tried to take the food with them every day. Not only did the people in charge have to remind the parents continually that 'the food is for the kids', they didn't want to stay and eat, they wanted to take it home.

The third week, they showed up on Monday and announced to the server that their religion now required them to wash their children's food in a certain way as they prayed over it, then they had to sprinkle it with holy water before the children could eat it. And that it could only be done properly in their own home.

Suddenly it was okay for the adults to take food AND to take it off the premises. Because RELIGION.

We're not qualified to decide whether it's a valid religion, ask any questions of the supposed adherent to the religion, or you know discriminate against them.

So this family took enough lunches for their children every day for the rest of the summer and there was not a thing the program could say or do about it.

So where's the problem here?

I think it lies with feeding only the kids. Perhaps allowing the adults to, you know, just eat or buy a lunch at a very reduced rate would be better.

Let's face it, this is not a gourmet meal. I eat a lot of crap, but I won't touch one of these 'meals'.

It's turkey turned into "ham." Or turkey that's just turkey. Between two slices of bread. With a slice of processed cheese food. A little bag of goldfish crackers or some other small snacky thing like raisins or celery or carrots. Sometimes a little packet of ranch dressing.An apple or an orange. No peanuts or nut products. 

This is not good, nutritious food. It's cheap, nutritionally void crap, paid for by you and me. And a great deal of it is wasted, the lunches that aren't eaten all over our city and your city and everyone else's city are trashed. Think about assigning a dollar value to that. Disgusting, isn't it?

So I guess I don't understand why people who are desperate enough to make up a story about their religion in order to score a bag of crap to eat shouldn't be fed by the same program we're paying for anyway. I am sure there is ample 'food' to make sure that none of them are going hungry. It may be crap, but at least it's a meal.

So I find myself pissed off on one hand that people are scamming, but then I think about what it is they're getting for their story. It would be a lot different if they were getting money or something of great value, but they're doing this because they are HUNGRY.

What a shitty state of affairs.

Justice for all indeed.

trying to put things in order...

I talked to a relative on the phone this evening and found out (not a surprise, I already knew) that one of my brothers is a sanctimonious prick.

He uses his religion as an excuse to be an asshole, and it embarrasses me. I realize that the mean and ugly and appalling behavior he indulges in on a regular basis, using his god as an excuse isn't my fault, and that I don't have to be ashamed of it, but I am.

I've said for years and years 'we weren't raised like that' but you know what? We were.

In an utterly amazing coincidence, the god we were forced to worship while growing up hated everyone my parents hated!

So I want to figure out how to write about it without compromising the identity of my relative. Not my brother... I don't give a rat's ass if you think he's an asshole right along with me. No, the other relative.

Not that I have a huge readership or that anyone really cares all that much what I write here, but I just have this urge to say what I'm thinking and what happened.

In other news, it's past my bedtime and I'm once again dragging my ass out of bed at five. So I'll ponder this and see what I can come up with.

And here's Leopold. He's ready for March 17th a little early.

Friday Afternoon

I was actually getting ready for work and happened to look at news headlines on my computer while getting my shoes on. That's when I saw what had happened in Connecticut.

I didn't spend a lot of time looking at details, just headed out to work.

As my kids were arriving, one of the third grade teachers stopped by and asked me if I was going to 'be okay'. I said I thought things would be fine, and she reminded me that the counselor was still in the building until four.

The principal had sent home a letter with the kids, telling them to just take it home to their parents and talk. They weren't supposed to talk about it at school.

Some of them did want to talk about it, and came to me. Penny* and Liam* were particularly serious about wanting to discuss. So I told them to take a couple beanbags to our 'quiet corner' and talk, but that no one else could join in the conversation. I think the reason they really wanted to talk was because it was forbidden, because they were only over there for about five minutes, then off to build the restaurant. We had a new girl on Friday who joined in quite happily.

Steve* wanted to talk to ME about it. So I invited him to sit with me, and mostly listened to him.

First, he was quite clear that what happened this week at the mall and then in the school were unusual occurrences. He said, "Stuff like that almost never happens. It's really, really rare, isn't it?"

I agreed.

"And we're in a safe place."

I agreed with that, too.

He said that one of his friends had said that it might be better to just stay home where you'd be safe.

"And what do you think about that idea, Steve?"

"I think it's dumb. What if an airplane crashes into your house?"

"Well, it's pretty unusual for planes to crash into houses, isn't it?"

"Yes! And it's weird for bad people to shoot kids, too." He thought for a moment and said, "I don't think I ever heard of it before."

I didn't tell him that I had heard of it more than once. I just waited.

He was quiet for a moment again, then he said, "Well, I'm gonna go play."

And joined the restaurant, already in progress.

I found that parents were much more upset than the kids (of course!) and many children were hugged extra upon pickup.

So it affected the kids, but I think what really affects them when something horrible happens are the adults around them saying things like, "Don't you feel awful? Of COURSE you do! Everyone does!!"

Implying that if you DO NOT feel awful, there may be something wrong with you. Many schools call in extra counselors and suggest at intervals that kids need to come talk to them if they're not feeling okay.

I don't remember having battalions of counselors available as I was growing up. Not sure it's needed as often as it's used.

The children in my program will talk about Friday's events off and on, but kids process things differently. Some kids dying somewhere aren't nearly as... immediate as Christmas coming. By the time they come back to school in January, they will all have completely forgotten about the incident.

Children are resilient. It's their nature. Their memories of events aren't as long as their memories of feelings. So it's our job as adults to make sure they feel safe and cared for wherever they are. I hope that the kids in my program aren't sitting in front of the television news this weekend, and that parents are following their lead in discussing or not wanting to discuss the events. They need to work through it in their own way. For some, that means that they aren't going to worry about it at all, and for others, they will be concerned and wary about their surroundings and cling to the people they trust.

But they'll get past it a lot easier than we will, I'm afraid.

Do you remember being a child? The horrendous events on the nightly news were so... distant. I remember hearing things, but just going on with life in general. It wasn't that I didn't care, it was that I was young and didn't understand how short life really is. I was busy growing up and having friends and going to school.

Now I'm old and I still don't understand, but my understanding is.. bigger. I can look at enormous events and realize just how awful they are.

I can't say anything that hasn't already been said about those families who lost their children. I can't even begin to imagine how hurt they are and how wounded they will be forever. I'm angry and confused just like everyone else.

Here's something I think is important, though.

So often these cowards take themselves out after killing a bunch of innocent bystanders. Feeling that since they don't amount to shit in life, then by god they'll be notorious after death.

And our media obliges them by plastering their names and faces all over the news, talking to everyone who ever knew them, shoving microphones into the faces of their mothers, fathers, grandparents, neighbors, husbands, wives... MAKING their wish a reality.

I'd like to see them called 'the killer' or 'the murderer' and not... glorified. People who are on the edge of unstable and fucked up wouldn't get their moment of glory on the news. No photos of them. No mention of them 20 times a day by name. In the crazy messed up minds of potential mass murderers, with that option gone, maybe they'd do the world a favor and only take themselves out.

Help?

Several conversations with different people in the last couple weeks have featured similar topics.

Don't know if it's the season, or if suddenly everyone is half nutty, but yeah.

Do you know someone who needs help mentally?
Someone who's addicted to alcohol or other drugs, depressed, extremely anxious or otherwise not 'normal', whatever that is?

And here's the big one. No matter how well you know him (or her), no matter how wacky he or she has become, no matter how much of whatever substance is being consumed... can you make them get help? Can you help them?

I say NO. NO NO NO.

Unless the person wants to be helped. To get past whatever it is that's hurting them... you can't do a thing. You can love them. Like them. Do your best to support them in whatever way you can, but can you MAKE them get help? Can you force a fix? I really don't think so.

Part of what prompted this post is that a couple I know has been trying to "help" an alcoholic. I don't know the person they're trying to help, and have only their information to go on, but I have known several people like her, unfortunately. I really wish I hadn't.

People who are not well, and have begun medicating themselves to try and fix what's wrong. Of course, it doesn't work and makes things worse. This person thinks the world revolves around her, and when the world isn't paying enough attention, she does something to try to change that, usually involving an intentional overdose, lots of screaming drama and a last minute save from the poor unsuspecting schmuck she married a few years ago who had NO idea what he was getting into.

The people who are trying to help aren't trained counselors. They have very little experience with addicts and addiction. They just are nice people who want to help. So of course I worry that the addict will make their lives difficult and end up either ripping them off or doing something else to mess up their lives, but there's not a whole lot I can do , so I'm staying out of it except to rant to friends and family.

I know someone who is estranged from one of her children because the child (an adult) is dealing with mental illness.

And no matter what you say to a person like that, no matter how much you want to help, until that person is ready to get some help, it's just not going to happen. And that's too bad. Life is short and all that... much too short to spend away from the people who love you.

So. Can you help? Can you make that person see reason and seek help? Or do you think the same way I do... until they're ready for it, no matter what you say, no matter what you do, it's not going to make a difference. You can't fix them.

So I was pondering this weekend...

And I learned that I'm not the only one disgusted over the relationship between many men, women, and the whole feminist/men are shit/only good for kicking around/child support/mowing the lawn thing.

I firmly believe it's one of the reasons why society is such a mess, this attitude toward the males of the species. I know there are tons of other problems and issues, but I think this one is an underlying cause of a lot of other things. I really do.

Years and years ago, Eric and I eagerly watched every episode of Home Improvement, but noticed a trend as the show continued. Most episodes were a variation of the 'my husband is so stupid' theme. It got old. We finally stopped watching in disgust, LONG before the series was over.

On Christmas Day, Suz dropped a link to this article on The Futurist. 
(I gave you the Christmas Day date, because for some reason, the post won't link all by itself.)

Go read the article if you have time.
It's long and there are many other articles/blog posts/commentaries linked to it.

I plan to go back and do more reading,  but I don't have to read all of those links to understand the basic issue.

I'm sure most of the people who read here won't have to, either.

Here's what I think. (That's why you visit here, right? To find out what I think?)

While shopping in a thrift store on a lazy Sunday afternoon a long time ago, I inadvertently got caught in a discussion between a woman and her mother about the younger woman's husband.

A word about this younger woman. She was fat. I certainly can't afford to say anything derogatory about a simple weight issue, but she was fat with an attitude. She was wearing a too tight shirt that allowed the rolls around her middle to hang out... over the waistband of her too-tight corduroy jeans. From two aisles away I could smell sweat. Her hair was oily and hung in disarray around her face, and she just came across as a really hateful person.

She was talking to her mom about her husband, and they were pretty much agreeing (loudly and stridently) that all men were shitheads.

And the gentleman who was looking at shirts in the same aisle as I was looked like he wanted to say something, but he did not. Several times.

And finally the young woman said TO HIM, "I bet you're a stupid jerk sometimes, too, aren't you? Just like ALL men."

He was taken aback, but responded a lot more politely than I would have, "I guess I would be a jerk if I had you to come home to."

She sputtered. Turned to me, expecting me to take her side, I think.

"Well what do YOU think?" she said, abrasively.

And I said what I've said so many times before.
"I married a good man. He is good to me, good to our children, and there is no one I'd rather be with.'

I think I pissed her off, although she didn't have anything to say. She just waddled off with her equally stupid mother.


I once wrote about a weekend event with my 1st Girl Scout troop. Moms went along. Girls were banished to the upstairs of the facility, while the moms sat around and bashed pretty much everything. They hated their daughter's schools. The constant fundraisers, this teacher and that, some of the things being taught... there was no main theme.

That is, until they got to their husbands. And oh my god was that a trip! Each one was convinced she'd married a big, stupid jerk. Worthless. Only worth staying with for the sake of the children. The stuff they said about the men they'd chosen to marry to a bunch of other harpies was utterly astounding. I got up and left the room. I didn't really want to hear it, and knew there wasn't anything I could say to explain what I was thinking.

I married a really wonderful man. Someone who has a great deal of integrity both personally and professionally. Someone who would do absolutely anything in the world for his children or his wife. I know for certain that he doesn't spend even a moment saying bad things about me. Ever. And whatever little faults he has are really nothing. And definitely not something I'd share with a bunch of snotty women like that bunch.

But I always wonder when I hear women talking about what jerks their husbands are.

Was he a jerk when you married him? Or has treating him like shit and talking behind his back made him bitter and angry? This is the man you chose to marry and in most cases, be the father of your children. Isn't there anything you could do to improve your relationship with him? Or are you just sitting there on your throne expecting him to do all the work on the relationship?

One of the 'wives' involved in the conversation on that long ago excursion basically said her husband was screwing around, which was fine with her because then he wasn't bothering HER for sex, and "as long as he pays the mortgage, I don't really care."

I have no idea if they're still married. I hope for his sake that they're not.

While this discussion was going on, one girl or another would wander down the stairs seeking attention from her mom, and the other moms would go right on talking. In front of the child. Thereby setting up the next generation to talk shit about their husbands.
::sigh::

So what are your thoughts?

I say treat your husband like the man he is, and he will actually BE that man. If you're  a jerk, you sort of deserve his scorn/anger/disinterest.

If you're a girl

You're too stupid for real science.
Instead, we will package stuff for you in cutesy pink with flowers and call it adorable.
Don't worry, because teaching you to make perfumes and incense is really the best use of science for you.
A girl can't aspire to actually BE a scientist. M'kay?
I first read about this crap at  The Defiant Marshmallow
Linked to this blog Spasms of Accommodation


I did read the stuff at the website for the kits. The copy on the web page does use actual scientific terminology, and perhaps one could say that at least it points out to the pink and helpless variety of young woman that some sort of science is possible. That cosmetics and fluffy things are actually science. But I find it insulting.

Why can't we just say that it's science and let kids know that boys and girls can learn the same stuff? Why package it in pink and blue and make it gender specific when it's not necessary?

I can tell you that when we do any sort of science at work, I make damn sure to use appropriate scientific terms and concepts when I can. We have talked about inertia, neutral buoyancy, gravity, liquid/solid/gas... and I can tell you that not only do the girls understand things just as well as the boys, they're better at spelling the words when they want to write them down, and very good at explaining to their parents what we've done that afternoon. Not that the boys aren't good at it, too. But I just don't understand the idea of making 'boy' science and 'girl' science.

Unless of course it's a study of the opposite sex. But although I may have a mixed age and gender group, none of them are too concerned about that yet. They're just kids.

So what do you think about this?
Insulting?
Great idea?

In the News

Do you watch broadcast news? Do you read news websites online?

I have started trying to ignore it. I'm not sure if it's my ostrich gene (one need only look at my mom to see that tendency to hide the head in the sand...) or if I just can no longer handle the crap. I do catch the big stories of the day, but I don't like to delve too deeply into the why and wherefore... it's all lies and most of it is ugly.

What I see on a day to day basis in my life is far removed from the ugly. I have an utterly amazing husband, fantastic children, good friends in my life and heart, and all the awesome stuff... a roof over my head, food to eat, something to drive that runs, and some extras, too. I'm very fortunate and I know it.

I'm wealthy in all the important things, and if someone were to hand me a billion dollars right now, I would not be happier. I'd just worry a little less about having too much month at the end of the money and I'd probably take a vacation.

One of the kids asked me near the beginning of school this year, as we were discussing how much I really enjoyed working there,  "If you won the lottery, would you quit your job?" And I didn't hesitate long. I told him and the rest of the group gathered 'round that I would not want to leave there. That I really love it.  I would have LIKED to say
No. Hell no. I LOVE my job. I imagine I'd take a little more time off, not because I want to get away, but because my man has been working   very hard for a really long time and the last vacation he had was in 1996! I'd definitely want to be with him more.
But I think he got the point. And, as I almost always do, I've digressed. I CAN stay on topic, I just mostly don't bother. More fun this way. :)

The news. Back to the news. I have mostly given up paying attention to it. I don't care which hollywood bimbo or bimboy is boinking which boy/girl/combination thereof, (I've never even heard of about 3/4 of them.)I don't care about the outcome of reality tv shows, MMA cage matches, comedies, movies... it's all white noise. Misdirection. We're supposed to pay attention to stuff like that instead of being interested in what's really going on. And sadly enough, it works pretty well on the majority of us.

I don't give a shit for the assholes we have in government from the top down, either.

No, I didn't vote for Obama. I thought then and think now that he was/is in no way qualified to do a job that requires actual thought or work, and I think what he's done to our country is criminal. I was sorry he was elected, and I think he's a shitty president. From the amazing vacations taken at taxpayer expense and  flaunting how he's spending MY money on things like a whole entourage just to do his wife's makeup on those little junkets to appointing 'czars' to circumvent the Constitution and make all kinds of shit go wrong... gah.

For the most part, all the lazy sphincters (like 'We have to pass this legislation to see what's in it' Pelosi ) who take on legislative jobs are useless parasites and I hate all of them.

They're all there to screw us... and I don't care if you agree with me or not.

I'll still like you if you don't, I'll just know you haven't been paying attention. ;)

Anyway, I finally got tired of being screwed.

Of course the screwing is still going on, but I've dismissed it from my universe. I get up, I hug my family, I go off to work, I take care of some pretty amazing people, I come back home and hug my family, I communicate with the people I care about, and then I repeat it the next day. And the next. And so on.

There is no way for me to affect the outcome of elections, control what's going on in government, avoid the amazing and appalling stupidity of the lunatics running the show, get actual facts about what's going on instead of lies, sound bites, breathless plastic people worshiping the current dictator, and shitting on the candidates most likely to beat his ass in an election.

I don't have a lot of anxiety in my regular routine when I avoid the news.

And who the hell needs it, am I right?

Knowing, for example, that former Oregon congressman David Wu porked the 18 year old daughter of one of his contributors (apparently it was consensual... but I have a hard time believing it...) and sent a picture of himself in a tiger suit to several staffers and acted, well, batshit crazy really doesn't mean anything to me. Wu, and the rest of them are only there to take care of themselves. I pretty much care about him as much as he does about me. Now he may indeed have been mentally ill during those incidents, but I'm guessing that's an excuse sort of like the temporary insanity criminals use to get away with murder. He's still a dipshit and I don't wish him well.

Same with our president, the minions he's surrounded himself with, and his gang of thieves all the way down the line. I don't give a shit for them.

And the feeling is mutual. As far they're concerned, I'm as important as an ant. Although an ant wouldn't rant. Ha.

I believe that if voting actually changed anything, it would not be legal. Sometimes I choose to vote, sometimes not.

And for those who say stupid things like, "If you don't vote, you have no right to complain." I say bullshit.

I will complain as much as I want, whenever I want, as long as I want, and in whatever form I wish to. You can certainly choose to ignore it. Feel free. I will still complain if I want.

But watching the news/reading news websites/thinking about this stuff just puts me in an anxious, angry, and helpless frame of mind. It's the helpless part that bothers me the most, actually.

So I am instead trying to be prepared for different scenarios for the future, from a lack of electricity or food or water, to a complete crash of the economy. And the rioting and craziness that is bound to occur if these things happen.

And let's be logical. Even if those things do not happen, having a supply of food and other necessary items is great when things like 2 month layoffs happen. Or when bosses say, "Gosh, we're a little short on money, can you hold your paycheck for a week?"

Anyway, I've started to ignore broadcast journalism. I absolutely do not trust these people. They all tell the same stories, use the same tone of voice, and show a lot of the same footage. NO one is objective anymore. It's actually really frightening if you think about it.

Which is why I've mostly stopped paying attention to it.
It's all bullshit anyway.

Although when this posts, the 'eviction' of the Occupy Portland movement (movement is apt, all they've done as far as I know is sit and shit in our local parks) will hopefully be over. And as I write, it's tempting to make a bowl of popcorn and sit in front of the television and watch the scumbags get kicked out. Pisses me off that lawbreaking has been allowed under the guise of 'free speech' and that Portland's mayor is about the dumbest shithead they've ever elected in that city.

They don't even know what the hell they're protesting anymore.

Idiots.

in keeping with the whole introspection thing...

Last week I found a new follower when I signed in to look at my blog.
And he's one of the more amazing people I've 'met' online. He has depression and other things going on, and writes about it.

He's really good (utterly amazing) at self analysis, and has caused me to step back and do a little analysis of my own about myself.

You can find Med here.

After writing the post about the incipient hoarding and dredging up the memories that led to my compulsive collection of shirts, I've been looking around me at other things I have.

And I've run smack into a wall of conclusion that I didn't see... didn't want to see, and don't really like seeing. But there it is. And because of that big wallI in the center of my existence, everything else I look at is secondary.

Wall in the center of my existence = elephant in the room.

I hoard all kinds of things. Many of those things aren't objects at all, but they're baggage just the same.

You may have figured out that we didn't have a lot of extra when I was a kid.
I am not an expert money manager, and have made and continue to make mistakes in taking care of our finances, but my kids have always had more than enough things to wear, even when we were at our poorest, there's always been enough food for everyone, and I've tried really, really hard to foster their creativity by having all kinds of art supplies and crafty stuff and things for them to get their hands on.

I never had enough to eat as a kid. There were some really weird things done with food in our home while I was growing up. The stuff we craved as kids was rarely purchased, so when it was, we would eat a whole box of cereal between the three of us. As fast as we could shovel it in. Because if you didn't, you wouldn't get ANY. There were rarely leftovers. Usually not enough of whatever it was to even get seconds. My parents had foods that were for them only. They were always "on a diet" and so the instant breakfast or the milk or bananas or the grapes or whatever were off limits to the kids.

This wasn't necessarily because we were poor, because we really weren't. We just had really bad management going on. My mom always bought the smallest package of everything, from toilet paper to toothpaste and coffee and macaroni. She never 'got' the lesson of buying a larger size at a slightly higher price, but having it average out as less per pound or ounce or serving by buying the economy size.

So now I hoard food. Not only in my cupboards and in containers here and there, but on my body. I can't eat 'just one' of anything. I have to eat favorite foods until they're gone. I can't bear to leave one for later, because part of me knows it won't be there when I go back.

When I moved in with my grandparents and didn't have to compete with the rest of a pack for food, I still had the 'eat it all' habit. But it was good... I was active, still growing, and burned off all the crap I gorged on.

It's not anywhere near the same now. Not only am I pretty inactive due to injuries and pain and pain and pain, I am no longer getting taller. I don't burn off the stuff I eat.

And I am not a nuts and twigs and little bits of gravel eater, either. Don't give me a fucking lettuce leaf with some veggie paste in it and call it a meal. Don't fill a plate with fruit and suggest that it would be a good meal for me, either.

Give me a goddamn piece of chicken or steak and some rice.

Actually, I could eat that and do okay. It's the sugar that does me in.
That, and I don't seem to have an off button when I eat.

This post was pretty hard to write, too.
I wonder what other stuff will spew from the volcano of my past?

Ha, makes my past sound like a big zit.

Indoctrination

All kinds of lessons are being taught to our children in schools. I'm cynical enough that I'm 99% certain that most, if not all the lessons are intentional, but I am sure not everyone thinks the way I do.

Let's take the recent Worms and Composting talk that was furnished to our day campers, free of charge, by our local regional government, Metro.

Patty* the petite, perky, positive presentation person, was really upbeat and cute and great with kids. She brought in a composting box full of red worms, a cheerful face and trendy Birkenstock-with-wool-socks feet on the end of her jean-clad legs.

In introducing the topic of composting to the kids, she propped a white board on the worm box, and they all helped her tell the story of a day in her life.

She gave them choices of what to tell the little stick figure she'd drawn to represent herself.

"Should I eat the oatmeal or the toast with fruit for breakfast?"
She went through her day, deciding for and against foods, some based on packaging, some based on what was best for her to eat.

For dinner, she asked the kids what she should have. Suggestions of chicken, hot dogs, steak were all tossed out.

"No." she said. "I don't eat bad food. Meat is stinky and you can't put it in the composter, so I don't eat it. Meat packages don't compost, either."

She briskly moved on and 'finished' her evening meal, then asked the kids what she should have for dessert.

There were suggestions of pie, cake, pudding, chocolate... and she said again, "No, I don't eat things that are bad. I need to choose between cherries and blueberries."

So she talked about composting, but tossed into that lesson?
Meat is bad.
Desserts are bad.
Bad to buy certain packaging.

Oh sure, they'll tell their parents about the cool worms. Worm eggs. Little potato bugs. Compost. But the other, more subtle lessons are there, too. Regardless of a person's feelings about food (I think anyone who eats hummus has, at the very least, extremely bad taste) those things are a personal choice. And when someone comes in and forces in little lessons around the edges, the kids don't even realize it. Those lessons stick.

During Spring Break, we were to teach a unit on "Global Warming."
Now you'll probably realize without me telling you that a curriculum unit about that topic will be slanted in only one direction. There will be no mention made of other possibilities, the fact that the dire predictions haven't come through, bogus emails, junk science, and the Goracle who started it all.

You know... the Goracle. He of the nine mansions and the carbon offset businesses and the private jets and the lavish lifestyle of a famous philanderer (massage, anyone?) He who makes a bigger carbon footprint on one little trip than I will for the rest of my life? Yeah. Him.

So a couple of the kids informed me during our unit that the polar ice caps were going to melt and that someday we'll probably drown because of it. So I stopped the lesson and inserted one of my own.

I put a large, solid plastic cylinder inside an even bigger pitcher. We filled the big clear pitcher with ice cubes, making sure to stack a lot of them on top of the cylinder. Then, I poured water into it until the surface tension holding the water together was clearly visible above the rim of the pitcher.

Then I asked for predictions. And every single kid thought that when the ice melted, we'd have a flood. They worried that there were no towels around the bottom of the pitcher.

They were shocked with the final result.

And although it was tempting, I didn't say a whole lot. I did tell them, though, that as thinking individuals, they were free to draw their own conclusions about what the non-flood may mean. And about anything else they were told is absolute truth. That sometimes, they may hear conflicting ideas, and it's really up to them to find their own truth. That real truth usually exists somewhere in between all those ideas.

And I left it alone.

We had another discussion that week, too.
About cutting down trees. The kids were convinced that cutting down a tree was tantamount to murder. Seriously!

So I asked one of them, "Taylor*? What is your house made of?"
She didn't know.

Well, I do, because I drive past the wooden house Taylor lives in on my way to work.
She looked mystified when she admitted not knowing what her house was made from.

So I told her. She was shocked. Disagreed. We decided to ask her dad when he came to pick her up.

Then, I asked the kids where paper comes from. Fully half of them did not know! So we talked about that, too.

We then walked around the room and up and down a couple hallways in the school, identifying the objects we saw that had been made from wood. The kids were very surprised.

I refrained from preaching again, but I am glad I got them thinking. Someone sure as hell needs to.

We discuss politics. As much as I'd like to, I don't put my personal beliefs out there. I'm not trying to influence them to think my way... but I admit to trying to influence them to think. There doesn't seem to be a lot of that allowed.

So what do you think? Do you find you're having to argue with 'absolute truth' that's brought home from school with your kids/friends/nieces/nephews. Do you think school should be a place of social engineering so we can all learn to think the same way?

'Cause even if you don't agree that it should be, social engineering is one goal of a mainstream public education.