So let's start with a digression. Do you have any words that you consistently typo every time you type them?
Activities is one of those words for me. I usually have to try three times to get it right. Activites??? Nope, that's not it. (delete)
Activites? No, still not right, that's the same way you just typed it, Doofus. (delete again)
Kitchen is another one for me. Kithcen. Almost every time.
Don't ask me why.
The school where I'm currently working is offering some after school enrichment clubs for kids. Can't remember all of them, but there's a running club, a hip hop dance club, cooking club... you get the idea. There are currently about 100 kids participating.
From the time school gets out until they are finished with the after-school snack provided for them, they're in MY DAMN PROGRAM SPACE.
It's really a pain in the ass, in case you wondered. (Even if you didn't wonder, it's a pain in the ass.)
We're now having to set up the program in half the cafeteria space until nearly 3 PM.
You're probably pretty smart (you're reading here after all, where we are nothing if not a bunch of genius types) so you're asking breathlessly, "Wait, doesn't that throw a monkey wrench into things?"
Why yes.
Yes it does!
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| Image made by Canva I asked for 'cartoon monkey wrench' The fact that the little bastard has three hands isn't unfitting. |
First, 125 kids make a lot of noise.That's 25 of mine and 100 of someone else's.
They come pouring in, like a bunch of army ants.
Elephants? I seriously don't know what to call them.
Oooh, do you like Pachyderm Parade?
::shrug::
A thundering herd of whatever.
They get them seated at tables with a card that has the name of whatever club they're part of, then they turn on the mic for the gigantic PA system. The speakers are clear across the cafeteria from the after school clubs kids. They're set up where all my kids are.
It.
Is.
Deafening.
It's someone shouting at top volume across our snack table, our quiet art area, our space. I hate it.
In this business, you work with the school as a partner. So I politely asked the adult in charge if there might be an electrical outlet on the other side of the room to plug in their PA system, as it's really loud on our side.
She said airily, "Oh we probably won't use it again, we just needed to go over all the rules so that we can hold them accountable when they break them."
Ugh.
'When they break them'
'Hold them accountable'
It's not just me, right? This is not a pleasant way to look at our young humans.
The adults in charge are anticipating failure. Multiple failures. And looking forward to 'holding kids accountable'.
I don't dislike any of the people I've encountered at the school with the exception of this bitch, but I always feel bad for the kids when I encounter an adult who thinks like an educrat.
Surprisingly, I also feel sorry for the educrats.
It's so hard to escape a lifetime of conditioning. Almost all of us were treated exactly like this as we were growing up. So it becomes the default setting and most of us never even stop to consider different methods. You can't fix something if you're not even aware there's anything broken.
It has to be exhausting for the adults, too. Being constantly vigilant so they can pounce the moment a kid crosses that educrat-imposed line.
If you've been here more than a month or so, you probably are familiar with my strange philosophy about taking care of kids.
We don't sit down every day and discuss rules.
They know what the rules are. (if it's not yours, don't touch it, if it isn't food it doesn't belong in your mouth, please walk in this room, please remember personal space, please pick up the markers and paper or the all-encompassing we don't do that here)
When one of them breaks a rule, I talk with that young human alone. I remind them that I'd like for them to remember to keep their hands off their friends or walk in our space or clean up the paper scraps when they're done with a project. To scream only if you are hurt or scared. Then I send them back to carry on with what they were doing.
Kids aren't stupid, they catch on quickly most of the time.
I see no reason why that would not work with the other after school groups, it certainly works with mine.
Unfortunately, no one consulted me.
They made the kids 'sit quietly' while going over every little nit picky rule and expectation. Every rule was bellowed out over the PA system. And it's wasn't 'we don't do that here'.
It was, "If you think making a mess at your table is okay, raise your hand!" They give them two or three options, only one being the correct answer. Then they do that with the next rule. And the next. The kids compete with each other to be the first one with their hand up, waving urgently, hoping the adult will call on them so they can give the correct answer. The ones not chosen are disappointed, "I knew that."
Friday's snack time took them almost 40 minutes. They coulda been done in 10 if the adults had STFU and let the kids eat in peace.
The assorted teachers in charge of each little group could be the ones to remind the kids to clean up around their snack area, dismiss/escort them to the various places for their class.
Simple. Relatively quiet.
But nope.
Here.
Have another Canva image.
I asked for a cartoon grumpy old lady teacher yelling into a megaphone.
I think this is just about right. It's hysterically funny to me that one of the 'tells' with A.I. is always the hands. Apparently even in the cartoon versions the hands are a problem. Grumpy has one hand and one... starfish?
The little guy bottom right with the yellow stripes has at least one of his hands on backward. Bet that makes penmanship practice hell on earth. If you enlarge the cartoon, you'll notice a few of the kids only have three fingers. Yes, this was a digression. I'm sure no one is surprised.
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| WE NEED MORE VOLUME!!!! |
The noise level is frustrating for my kids, too.
They can't carry on a conversation because they can't hear each other speaking the whole time this unnecessary recitation of every single rule the other group must follow is going on.
We're in half the space and as a result we can only have half our stuff out. No place to put it. So my kids are deprived of their usual activities, stuck in a noisy room without a place to escape, and they have zero control over any of it. Which is another big thing with me, allowing the kids to have some control over their own lives.
There's another group using the playground right after school, too.
They're not part of the current craziness in our cafeteria.
My kids go out at 3, and that other group is off the playground just before that, I arranged that with the group coordinator so we could stay out of each other's way. Hasn't been much of a problem.
Until now, when one of the brand new other clubs is using the playground from the time snack is over until 3:45.
I am not able to have my kids mixing with general public or other groups out there. It's a licensing thing. I see it, though, and try to gently explain to the short human who wants to join the soccer game that I can't allow them to play with the after school group. I hate to hurt a child's feelings. They're supposed to be out there running, but the teachers who were monitoring the class were sitting on a bench chatting while their kids, who had run a few laps around the field, enjoyed a 20 minute recess.
So damn frustrating.
Here's where the biggest problem is, though.
I can't monitor the bathrooms.
The usual procedure when a child has to use the bathroom while we're outside is that I communicate with whoever is there as my second person via walkie talkie that I'm taking Timmy to the restroom.
Then I take Timmy to the door, open it with my magic badge, and let him in. I can see down the hall to the restroom and some of the kids on the playground at the same time. This means I am within sight and sound of the playground and the bathroom and can monitor kids in both places, keeping us within the state-mandated rule of 1 adult for every 15 kids.
But with the after school clubs, there are a BUNCH of kids using the same bathroom. Under our license, only one child is allowed in the bathroom at a time, regardless of where they came from in the building. I can't send my kids to the bathroom with another child.
I have talked with my kids, and they know that if there's another person in the bathroom when they go in that they're to turn around and come right back out. But sometimes they really need to go, or they forget. Especially the smaller kids. Coincidentally, it's usually the smaller ones who need to use the restroom when we're outdoors.
When I send one of mine in from outside, I have no way of verifying that there isn't a kid from the clubs already in the bathroom. I can't leave the playground to go check, that leaves us out of ratio. It's not fair to the kids to take the four or five kids necessary to balance our ratio into the building every time someone has to use the bathroom, either.
Quite often the kid using the bathroom is needing to sit in there for a bit. Between having had an after school snack, having to wait all day sometimes, and then some physical activity... well, sometimes it's 10 minutes of, er, down time.
Not fair to other kids to have them come inside to wait.
Another issue is that my 2nd adult on site is unfamiliar to the kids. They may have seen them before, but they're still going to test the rules.
On Monday, Mia was standing on the top of the monkey bars while the daily assistant (who was there for the first time) stood with her back to the monkey bars and watched the kids who were on the smaller play structure. I had to blow my whistle to get Mia's attention, but the rest of the kids thought it was time to come in because that's the signal. They started running toward me to line up, but I sent them back out to play.
"Well then why'd you blow your whistle?" one of the older boys asked irritably.
::sigh:::
So I have requested a third person on site for the days we have the extra hundred or so kids in the building. I told my manager person that we'd need that person for an hour, from 2:45 to 3:45, which is when the other bunch is getting on the bus to go home. She said they've just hired a new person and that she will 'try' to send them to me for this specific purpose.
It's still not optimum, as whoever I have on site with me doesn't know my kids well and we'll still have the issues of kids pushing boundaries and general off-balance programming, but at least my kids should be safe in the bathrooms.
Say it with me.
Just a babysitter.
