I'm ready to have things be finished. Really I am.

 

One of the reasons I try not to discuss political stuff unless I know someone pretty well is that so many people have a picture in their heads of what's real and right and are rabid when someone suggests a different viewpoint.

::sigh::

I've been chatting online with a group of women since 1998.
No, not a typo.
Way back in the days of AOL chat rooms and actual hosts, I hosted twice weekly chats in AOL's Homefront Hall, part of a forum dedicated to homeschooling.

We formed friendships based on common ground and 'watched' each other's children grow up and go on to their own lives. With the exception of two of us, everyone else is a grandma now, some of them have grandchildren who are 12 years old already. (insert obligatory 'wow, time flies' comment here)

And since my life is a series of digressions (gotta be the ADD way I do everything)... My own children have decided they don't want to have babies. I'm disappointed because I'd love to have grandchildren, but I've told my kids *multiple* times that having a baby 'cause your mom wants to be a grandma is  NOT a good reason to reproduce. Ha. I can't imagine smacking them over the head with it or showing any kind of disappointment.
I got to make my choices, I respect theirs.
Neither one arrived at the decision without a great deal of thought and discussion.
My kids are smart and capable.

I'd be a good grandma, though. Craft projects and cookie baking and really bad jokes. What's not to like?

So about those chat friends.
We had a great deal in common, but there were things we didn't agree on, too.
Politics and religion, the perennial favorites. Things like nutrition and being strict Vegan or eating whatever you want or (my personal philosophy pass the damn sugar) and curriculum (or no curriculum) etc. But there were so many things we liked about one another that long after AOL dumped their forums and chats we continued to catch up with each other once a week.

We've continued to do so. 22 years now that the four of us have stayed in touch. (Actually 5 of us, but one doesn't always manage to get to the chats, we all have lives and some are busier than others)

There have been marriages, divorces and grandchildren and cross-country moves. Job losses, loss of family members, financial difficulties, mental illness. We've supported each other through all of it, and some of us have even met each other in person.

Those 'imaginary friends' as my family has called them more than once, are as important to me as some of my friends who live nearby.
I am happy when something good happens for one of them, sad for them when things aren't going well. We text each other. Occasionally chat on the phone. I care deeply about each one of them.

Until recently, we've all managed to make it to our chats on Friday nights.

But one of my friends doesn't want to be there for awhile. She's not able to do political discussion without anger over the disagreements. I'm not actually certain about who she voted for, but she has so much going on in her personal life right now that any conflict is too much.

And it makes me sad.

I wish everyone could discuss issues instead of people.

I don't believe about half of the crap I hear from both sides. I know I'm not alone.

:::sigh:::

WHEN will this be over?

While we're on the subject of faith...

I once was suspected of harboring the devil.

At least that's how I interpreted it.

I know, I know, a fat housewife with a warped sense of humor and a smartassy attitude isn't usually someone to fear, but apparently I was pretty scary.

Back in about 2002, I signed Lyssa up for a public school sponsored program. It was intended to be a supplemental thing.
Electives, really.
PE, art, band, drama.

She enjoyed the classes for the most part. One of the things we had to agree to in signing up for these classes was that we'd attend the two days per week for 12 weeks as the funding for the program was contingent on attendance.

I had conversations with several homeschooling moms during those weeks.

One morning after I'd dropped Lyssa off, one decided to stop and talk to me in the hallway at the other end of the building.

She was friendly, we chatted about homeschooling (she'd just started) and about the classes being offered.

Then she asked me, "What curriculum do you use?"
That's a standard homeschooler question, or was back then at least.
"Oh we don't use curriculum. We learn from all kinds of things."

She looked surprised. We had a little bit of conversation about it, she was under the impression that it wasn't possible to teach a child to read without first teaching them phonics. She didn't think kids would learn anything if you didn't MAKE them do lessons. She used christian curriculum, she told me, and suggested that everyone should.

I told her that my older kid had done very well without all that stuff and that neither of my children had ever had a phonics lesson.
She looked skeptical, but let it go.

Then she asked, "What church do you go to?"

"Oh we don't do church. We're atheists."

The change in her demeanor was just...stunning.
She gasped. Physically stepped back from me, mouth open, eyes wide.
She raised her hand, palm toward me.

And from her mouth (loudly) came this sentence, all the words shoved together and spewing forth like a waterfall.

"SatanIBindYouInTheNameOfJesusChrist!!" she said, and turned from me and RAN out the door. She jumped in her vehicle and I swear to you, the tires chirped as she left the parking lot.

She withdrew her two daughters from the program immediately, never mind about the 12 weeks thing. I heard from one of the registration moms that she'd called and said that she did not want her daughters hanging out with the children of unbelievers and that if the school wanted to offer these classes again, perhaps they should screen the  participants a little better.

What's the old Groucho Marx quote?
Ah, found it.

I refuse to join any club that would have me as a member.

Ah, the good old days.

And what about those kids? Part 1

In her comment on my last post, Lisa expressed some concern about how kids are dealing with the trauma of this virus. She said she'd probably want to homeschool if she had kids at home right now.

And since I'm a huge advocate of homeschooling (which I really prefer to call lifeschooling) I agree just on general principles. If a person can homeschool and wants to homeschool, I enthusiastically recommend doing so for a million different reasons, none of which are due to the virus.

I also think (due to the virus) there will be many people who realize having their kids living and growing outside the institution can be a wonderful way to spend more time together and that it contributes to bonding, both between parent and child(ren) and between siblings.

I think there will be a significant number of families who find the homeschooling lifestyle to be a good fit for them. While beginning to homeschool was a necessity because of the virus, that recognition of the benefits of life learning instead of schooling will probably have an effect on school choice for many years into the future.

I was reading some commentary on a parenting forum a few weeks ago and was interested but not surprised that several of the parents posting there commented were marveling that little Zoey/Chucky/Ferd no longer had a tummy ache/headache every morning.

If you didn't know this, many children complain of a tummy ache when they are anxious. The school office is often swamped in the first hour or so each morning when kids (often the same ones day after day after day) have gone to their teacher complaining they 'don't feel good'.

Protocol is to send the child to the office where the school nurse will take their temperature. Most of the time, their temperature is fine, they're sent back to class (you're fine, no fever, hope you have a wonderful day)  and that's it. No one calls the parent to say the child isn't feeling well. No one works to find out why the child is anxious, instead dismissing it as the child 'trying to get out of schoolwork'.

So did you get that? Kids are going to the office every day saying they don't feel good, they're given a temperature check and dismissed back to class if they don't have a fever.

This goes on for years and years, although generally speaking, the older they are the more they are resigned to the day-to-day of institutional life which translates into bigger kids have fewer morning tummy aches.

They aren't faking it, although it's not usually their stomach that's the issue. They just don't have the words or the life experience to understand what's really going on with them. 

In their little brains, their generalized emotional anxiety from getting up early, being separated from the people they love and having to march in a line and be 'good' all day long translates to a tummy ache, which is a concrete thing to complain about.
Parents have no idea.

No clue.

It's a really awful thing, but it's just more routine abridgement of a child's rights. A child's rights end the moment they walk in the door of the building.

It's one of the reasons I find the idea of schools teaching kids about oppression to be sort of silly, since the actual definition of oppression is prolonged cruel or unjust treatment or control/the state of being subject to unjust treatment or control, subjugation, subjection, repression, suppression, ruthlessness, heartlessness... I'm sure you can add a word or two.

The fact that most people in the system think they're doing these things for the good of children doesn't change the effects of the oppression. It's traumatizing and the usual sentence is 13 years.
And if you're honest, you see that the public school environment places the wishes and needs of kids far down the list of priorities.

And if *I* had to be honest, I'd say the needs of children aren't even on the list.​

I've struggled with it over the years because the nature of my work means my own contribution to the routine abridgement of human rights. You may find that overly dramatic, and I can understand why you'd think that way, but I see it as factual. No, I'm not standing over them yelling and working to make them feel insignificant or worthless, but they're in a position of having to ask my permission for basic human needs.

Permission to pee, to eat, to play.

I love my kids, I want them to have a pleasant experience while in my care.

I try to say yes instead of no as often as I can, to things like craft projects or using toys in different ways (making Rube Goldberg machines from Hot Wheels tracks and marble runs and dominoes, for example) and to extra snacks, reading books outdoors, messy art... whatever.
But I do have an expectation of a certain amount of conformity.
I have had internal conflict about what I do for a living (or did for a living until the plague sidelined me) but I realized a long time ago that kids will be in day care anyway and they may as well have someone who actually cares spend that time with them.

That applies to school staff/teachers quite often, too. They do care about the kids and believe they're doing things that are good for them. There are amazing people in every school I've worked in.

For every example of a crap person who shouldn't be working with or around children, I can show you 10 who love the kids and would do anything in the world for them.

I am amazed by some of the things I know teachers and other school staff do for the kids, from buying groceries with their own funds to making sure a child has a new dress or pair of shoes for the concert.

People have to work. They have to buy regular shoes for those children they made. Obtain dental care for them. Keep them sheltered and fed.

My commentary about the school system is general commentary. 
I don't hate the people in that system and I do not judge people who send their children to school.

But my basic reservations about how those kids' emotional needs are being met, particularly the little guys, are valid.

We're willing to see and overlook what goes on partly because we were all there as kids. I don't know about you, but I do have lasting hard feelings, sadness, angst, anger and that ol' helpless feeling when I think of the time I spent in public school.

My high school graduation was like what I'd imagine being released from jail is like. I was just so grateful to not have to go to school anymore.

And I don't think most people know what it's really like now, 20, 30, 40 years post our own graduation(s).

Schools, in some form, are necessary until we figure out something better and I really don't see that happening.

The Problem

With posting daily is that everyone has this big unrealistic expectation that I can continue to do so indefinitely.

And sometimes I can.

But once again I stayed online talking to friends. Texas, Florida, Oregon. And talked to my mom online, too.

Then I was answering a letter from a new homeschool mom on a local homeschool discussion list.

I was kind of a smartass. Not TO her, but on her behalf. 'Cause of the whole 'socialization' thing. People are sort of... thick sometimes.

"Isn't it odd how people like to mention socialization as if they expect us to say, "OH my GOD I never even THOUGHT of that!!!! I will put little Daisy back into school immediately, because there is just nothing better than the brand of social skills she will learn in the public institution. THANK YOU for pointing out the error of my ways!!!! You are like... Ghandi!! Mother Teresa!!! GOD!!!! THANK YOU!!!!"

So that's why I didn't really write a post this evening.
That's my excuse and I'm sticking to it.

Would you send your child to school?

I overheard a conversation in a local teacher supply store a few weeks ago. Two homeschooling moms were in there shopping for workbooks etc. They actually said, out loud, that not only would they never subject their child to school, but that anyone who does obviously doesn't even love their children. The taller one said, "Why bother to have children if you're just going to send them to an institution? Only a crappy parent would do that."

There isn't any way to change the minds of people like that, so I didn't comment or make an effort to change their opinion. I didn't even bother to make eye contact, act like I was listening or, well, anything. I grabbed the tri fold cardboards I went in there to buy and was out the door in about three minutes.

But it made me ponder a bit.

I don't think most people homeschool because of hatred for schools, I think they've just tried to make the best decision for their kids based on their needs, resources and way of life.

If you didn't already know, we homeschooled for about 17 years, give or take. I took Matt out of school because his school experience was going along quite shittily (I just made that word up, but I like it, don't you?).

At the time, I hated HIS public school, but not all schools in general.
I still feel that way. The school he ended up in by accident of residence was a clusterfuck, and more than one teacher I am personally acquainted with has said that being assigned there is the school system's equivalent of being posted to Siberia.

Taking him out of school was a good move on our part, and not sending Alyssa involved some reasons I don't care to go into right now, but it was the best decision for her, based on her sensitivity and the way she learned. I certainly don't regret the time spent homeschooling, and I'm glad we had the opportunity to learn out in the world rather than my kids going away from me to learn elsewhere.

I don't think that school is the best place for all children to learn, and I think there are problems inherent in the way schools work. Learning and schooling are mutually exclusive, and if someone really wants an education tailored to the individual child, public school may not be the best place for that to happen, especially in the teach-to-the-test high pressure way they're being run. The political stuff, the stupidity of regulations, the people actually doing the work not being paid half what they're worth... yeah.

Now I don't think all schools completely suck.
Lots and lots and lots of kids do just fine there.
'My' kids often talk about how much they hate school, but I think they hate the same things I hated. Getting up early (I still hate that!!) and being forced to do stuff on someone else's schedule. Dragging a child out of bed at the asscrack of dawn to go sit through still another day of 'learning' is sort of a crummy trick, if you ask me.

Once you get 'em there,  lot of time is wasted standing in lines, moving from one location to another,  waiting for attention from the teacher, being told when to learn and how to learn and when it's good enough.

But they love the same things I loved as a kid.
Recess, of course. Time to run and play and scream and throw things and chase around.

Many of them love to read, although book reports and having their books selected for them doesn't sit well with some of the kids I know. I LOVED to read, but when someone expected a book report from me, it was frustrating. Ruined all the fun of a good book.

They love to do projects. To imagine. To pretend to be spies and superheroes and Luke Skywalker. And I don't think they have enough time to do those things.

And the HOMEWORK!! What the hell are they doing (or not doing) in class that so much homework has to go home with kids? They're giving homework in the 1st grade! So as a parent, you drop your kid off or put them on the school bus about 7:45 AM. They go to school all day, you pick them up at daycare between 5 and 6, there's dinner, homework and bed. And if you don't think homework is something to argue about/cause a less than peaceful evening, you aren't really thinking about it. :)

Why are we teaching a generation of children that they must take work home with them and feel obligated to do it? To neglect their family and other relationships so they can do a bunch of meaningless busy work?

So my supposed-to-be-new-but-turned-out-to-only-be-temporary-assistant is a homeschooling mom. And we haven't had a lot of opportunity to get to know one another or talk much about our reasons for keeping our kids out of public schools. We did agree, however, that educational choices should be based on the individual, and that people would probably be better off if they explored all the possible educational options for their children before just using school as the default setting.

Actual Homeschooling Post

Let's start with the official Mental disclaimer, shall we?

My family homeschooled.
It worked well for us, and we feel good about the choices we've made along the way regarding our children's education.

Our choice to homeschool is not a reflection on your (generic you) choice to send your child(ren) to public school, private school, or any combination of the above.

Your kids, your life, your choices... easy. I pass no judgement on your methods of diapering, feeding, toilet training, educating and loving your children.

Because of course they're yours.

So yeah. With that out of the way.

I used to be on a lot of homeschool discussion email loops. When we homeschooled, it was a good way to connect with local homeschoolers who had similar interests. In fact, it's how I ended up with the all-homeschooled Girl Scout troop I had.

We're no longer officially homeschoolers, and I'm only on one loop, a national one. I host an international Friday night chat* for them, so have stayed on the loop.

*that international chat? It's usually a core group of four or five regulars who have been chatting together for more than 10 years. We've 'watched' each other's kids grow up, rejoiced when they graduate, get married, have babies...

So I said all that because I digress and admit it, it's only one of the myriad of reasons you read here.

:::waiting for my 10s of readers to make that admission:::

annnnnnd ON with the story!!

A couple days ago, A posted to the list that she'd just had a visit with her sister, B, and her sister was critical of certain things she perceived to be lacking in her homeschooling.

B was concerned that even though A was homeschooling, A's children were 'just' at grade level. And get this... A needed to have her kids learning how to make speeches and give oral reports. Something to do with college and scholarships. And that A's kid wouldn't know how to 'close the deal' or 'compete' with people if he didn't do lots of reports in front of a group and/or participate in class discussions.

And A was a little taken aback. Wondering, as ALL parents do, if she was doing things 'right'.

(Ever question any of your parenting decisions? Ever wish you'd done something differently? Yeah. Me too. Most other parents as well. Homeschooling has NOTHING to do with that.)

I mostly read the homeschooling emails. I don't usually feel like I have anything of value to contribute. But something just told me I needed to respond to that one. It rubbed me the wrong way.

So I did respond. And I hope that she felt better, not worse after my response.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Ordinarily I don't respond to stupid things like this.

I phrased that badly.
What *you* have said isn't stupid at all.
The remarks made by people who have NO idea what homeschooling is or isn't can indeed be stupid, though.

And I think as parents, no matter what choices we make for and with our children, someone will always be stupid about it. And feel the need to correct us, or educate us, or point out how much better choice B is than choice C.

Usually I just smile at the well meaning person and say something like, 'How interesting' or 'I will think about that!'
Then I go on with my life. Because people didn't approve of my co sleeping. Or extended nursing. Or allowing my children to eat fruit AND cereal when they first started solid foods. Had lots of disapproval over the whole homeschool thing, too. Not that I cared then or care now.

The reality is that kids who are forced to get up and do public speaking/reports are just like kids who aren't forced.

Some will do well at it. Some will be paralyzed with fear and stammer and stumble and show how uncomfortable they are, whether in a classroom or on a stage.

Not every child will have to stand up and read meaningless reports in adulthood (thank goodness) and there are many more important skills a person needs to be self sufficient in life.

And 'grade levels' are a meaningless and ridiculous  measure, based only on the pathological need of educrats to categorize, sub-categorize, and sort kids into exact little boxes. Easier to label all that. Grade levels have no meaning to anyone but those who are a slave to them.

As for college? Can't afford to send mine, either. My son, who decided he wanted to be a civil engineer, is paying for his own college. He lives at home, works full time, goes to school, has small student loans and 100% of all the support we can give him. We feed him and provide him shelter and encouragement.

There are many ways to go through college without scholarships and giving speeches. She's looking at a dust speck in the middle of the room and she thinks it's an elephant.

Do what works for your kids. And for you. And smile. And say thanks, I'll think about that.

Then go on with your life.

You're doing fine.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

What really bothers me, though, is there was one poster who agreed with A's sister that that whole speech thing was important.

I really don't understand the way people think sometimes.

Don't we second guess ourselves enough as parents that we can keep our advice to ourselves unless asked? B isn't raising A's kids. You're not raising mine. I MAY be raising yours, considering what it is I do for a living... but you get what I mean, right?

Bunch of busybodies out there.

Attention Homeschoolers..

I may end up writing another post for today, not sure right now.

But if you homeschool, you have probably felt the worry over educrats/snoopy neighbors/stupid politicians who want to stick their too-long noses into your life, either hoping to regulate the education of your children, regulate it further, or totally stop you from exercising the right to educate your child(ren).

Many years ago, our family appeared on Swedish television on their version of 60 Minutes (Called Kalla Fakta, or 'Cold Facts') with the story of how we ended up homeschooling.

It's a longish tale and I'll write it up for you sometime this week.

But if you'd like to help the very few people in Sweden who have managed to homeschool despite ridiculous regulations and rules and harrassment (bear in mind that the homeschooling regulations in Sweden makes the regulations in Pennsylvania look like nuthin') keep their right to do so, and you have a little extra time, consider reading this link: Diary of a Mad Editor: Let's help homeschoolers in Sweden! and writing an email or two.

Please consider posting the link to your own blog and sending it to your local or national homeschool discussion list as well.

I'd love to see a flood of letter and emails... not that I'd actually see them, but yeah. Figuratively speaking.

Thank you.

We're quitters here.

It's weird to be looking back at almost 17 years of homeschooling.

I have no choice now but to call myself a retired homeschooler, and that feels so strange.

When we began the adventure I didn't consider the future. Not one year or three years or the end of the high school years... all I thought about was getting Matt out of the crummy school experience he was having.

I sometimes wonder if I'd have done things differently, knowing then what I know now.

I definitely would not have allowed him to finish the school year. He would not have spent one more second in that institution. I would have grabbed him by the hand and walked out immediately after the tootsie roll incident, if not before that.

Probably the first time that stupid old hag of a teacher suggested that perhaps 'we might have a little attention deficit on our hands, here.' I knew better. I can't believe I didn't laugh in her face and walk away forever.

As a collective, I think our society is inherently disrespectful of its children. I'm sickened by the idea of medicating a child to make things easier for the institutions they spend their days in.

(I get the concept that some children need medication for a variety of things, some behavioral disorders, yadda yadda... that's not what I'm referring to and if you've ever read anything here before, you probably know that.) But really...why do parents say things like, "He's fine on the weekends and during school breaks but needs his medication for school."

Hello? Are you LISTENING to yourself? Are you nuts?? If you're medicating a child only for school, you're not doing what's best for him or her. Oops, heading off on a tangent there...

Why can't we just agree that it's the environment that's the problem for a six or seven year old boy who can't sit still and has to bounce around and zoom from one activity to the next?

He's not being 'bad' or willful, we're being disrespectful to him by asking him to be someone he is not.

Have you ever really thought about what kids are expected to do and learn without regard to their own personal timetables, desires, likes and dislikes, abilities and personalities?

Sad.

I wonder why, as a society, we have such a problem with stopping an activity that is causing harm... calling people quitters or even suggesting that the crap they're going through is normal and acceptable and will make 'em stronger when by quitting, they're really doing something that's good for them by walking away from a horrible situation?

Is it really better to endure all kinds of shit from people than to say "No. Enough." to it? Why is the ability to put up with all kinds of crap considered an asset?

Why not celebrate the strength it takes to walk away when something isn't working? It can be really hard, especially if someone is calling you stupid names like quitter.

And yes, my mind is quite capable of making the distinction between stopping an activity that's hard just out of laziness and deciding that no one has the right to be disrespectful to you and walking away from crappy situations.

Can you imagine how much happier we'd be if all of us could walk away as needed and continue walking until we find what's best for us?

I've been so happy over the years that we did not send Alyssa to school. It would not have been a healthy place for her to be. I'm so glad that she has been able to grow in so many directions and not be stunted by external factors.

With all the sensory issues she had, and the sensitivities that ruled her, the best place for her to have been was with us. We didn't try to fix her differences, we just embraced the total kid. Never saw her issues as anything other than who she was. She's been a blast about 90% of the time. The older she is, the easier it's become. She learned to regulate herself. To take time to be alone when she needed it. To handle things in her own way. Watching her grow and adapt has been terrific. Seriously.

I'm so very happy that I never had to try to advocate for her with a system that is not fixable. I don't have to tell most people that instead of working with parents and children to find the solutions that work best for kids, what usually happens is that schools find ways to postpone and stall and ignore the real needs of the children placed in their care until they go on to the next grade or school.

I won't go into the total lack of regard for the instincts and knowledge of the parents, either, except to point out that most of the time, parents aren't treated with any more respect than their children when it comes to getting services or special help for their children. What do we know? We're not professionals. We're just... parents.

No one cares about your child(ren) the way you do, and no one outside the family will consider all the possibilities with their number one filter being what's best for the child in question. No one. I don't care how many fancy degrees they own or how many 'cases' they've seen or how many little tricks they know to make a kid do what they want. Face the fact that your child, who is one of the most important people in the world to you is just one of many to them. The professional in question may even like kids. May even like yours.

But he or she does NOT love your child and will not put what's best for him above all else.

In my life as a munchkin wrangler, I have met a lot of teachers. Most of them are wonderful individuals, and love what they do. When I think about 'the system', I don't usually think of the teachers as part of the problem, but they are constrained by the system, too, and often are not allowed to be part of the solution.

If you were to talk to my dad, who taught for 27 years, you'd get an earful of the political bullshit and crazy regulations that finally caused him to leave a career he loved five years early.

It's a screwy system, y'all.

And I'm really glad we're quitters.

I got nothin'

It's just not all that exciting to write about the latest with my shoulder. I will say though, that I really do feel better every day and I'm mostly able to take care of myself with a little help around the edges from Eric or Lyssa. 

I have not been wearing a bra because  it's sort  of difficult to wriggle into, and women who have to custom order bras can't just run to the nearest sprawlmart and buy the front-hooking variety.

So unless I've been planning to go out (that's only happened four times in the last two weeks) I go without one. A mistake.
I now have a yeast infection under my bazooms, much worse on the right than the left. So I am now going to be struggling into a bra daily to get that area lifted up, and will have to treat it for a few days. Fun fun.



I went to the regular place today and got my hair trimmed. She cut off half an inch, trimmed my bangs so they don't look like they've been cut and I paid her 14 bucks.

After that, Matt and I wandered into Fred Meyer to get the ingredients that Eric and Lyssa didn't get on Saturday for our Thanksgiving dinner.

I'm still struggling over the wording of the letter I want to send to my doctor. I've set tomorrow as my deadline for getting it mailed out, I don't want the incident too far in his past when he reads it. I plan to mark the envelope 'Contents Personal'.  One would think that the office staff wouldn't open it, but who knows?

We invited my parents to come for Christmas this year, so even with me being laid up, I think that if I start cleaning here and there now I won't get all stressed out when it's time for them to arrive. The house will be clean enough.

Matt went online this morning and registered for the winter term of classes at PSU. They told him at orientation that classes fill up fast. I'll say. One of the ones he wanted was full at two minutes past registration opening!

He will be attending class M-Th. He plans to work hard and get done as soon as possible. Two more years.

Yes, homeschooled kids can get into college. Even those who unschooled. And just so you know, unschooling doesn't mean 'no learning'. Otherwise, he'd not be where he is, now would he?

Tomorrow... physical therapy. Wahoo.

 

Looking back

Reading this post about homeschooling this morning made me look back a bit. Wendy knew before she ever had children that she would homeschool. How's that for planning ahead? Wow.

I've always admired people who can organize, well, anything. I give a great illusion... people believe I am organized, but really? I am not. One look at my house and maybe a short peek into my brain*, and you'll know for sure.

*please don't look into my brain

It was 1993 when we officially started the homeschool adventure, but when I think about it, we really started when Matt was born. I was so excited to show him the world and it was so much fun to watch him learn!

But I had to learn that schooling and education had no relationship to each other.

Fortunately, it only took two years of public schooling, and even better, we only subjected Matt to it.

It's not that Lyssa is a little flower and couldn't take a little adversity, but I think at that age, Matt was more resilient and recovered from the experience more or less intact. I'm not so sure that Lyssa would have.

We knew we'd be homeschooling in the fall, so I'd begun huge plans. I had curriculum for each subject, lesson plans, and had turned the kitchen in our little tiny house into a classroom. Matt even had a school desk.

I usually advise people against that sort of thing now, but had someone told me that playing school wasn't necessarily the most efficient way for a kid to learn, I would have proceeded to do it my way anyway. :)

I wish I'd been able to communicate with other homeschooling families via email lists and homeschool chats the way we can now, though. There were times I felt pretty lonely.

Anyway, I have nothing profound to put here. I'm just really glad we ended up choosing to homeschool.

Here are links to a couple of my 'how we gave up home schooling and switched to learning' posts.

Cutting up in class
Stealth learning

I liked them when they were written, and I look back fondly on those times. The future and us learning together was so... exciting. I had all kinds of plans and visions. Just because the reality didn't end up being the same as the dream doesn't mean it wasn't wonderful. It was.

It's been an adventure.

Don't homeschool! part 10 of 10

1. And finally… have you met someone homeschooled? Not to hate, but they do tend to be pretty geeky***.

*** Please see the comments for thoughts on the word ‘geeky.’ But, in general, to be geeky connotes a certain inability to integrate and communicate in diverse social situations. Which, I would argue, is a likely result of being educated in an environment without peers. It’s hard to get by in such a diverse world as ours! And the more people you can hang out with the more likely you are to succeed, both in work life and real life.

It sounds like you've been pretty sheltered. And 'not to hate', you sound like an 8th grader.

It's quite obvious that you haven't met (m)any homeschoolers.

But (my god) GET OUT THE DICTIONARY. Look up the word Geek. While you're at it, look up peer. Come back and tell me that it means 'only those who were born within nine months of your birthday and are attending school with you.'

And please explain the 'certain inability to integrate and communicate in diverse social situations' that most of us saw all around us while growing up in public schools and still see everywhere in society.

I posted this on my blog rather than answering each silly point on the blog where this crap originated.

I'm really not talking to the guy who wrote it.

I'm just ranting.

And sometimes, that's fun.

Don't homeschool! part 9 of 10

2. Homeschooling parents are arrogant, Part 2. According to Henry Cate, who runs the Why Homeschool blog, many highly educated, high-income parents are “probably people who are a little bit more comfortable in taking risks” in choosing a college or line of work. “The attributes that facilitate that might also facilitate them being more comfortable with home-schooling.”

More comfortable taking risks with their child’s education? Gamble on, I don’t know, the Superbowl, not your child’s future.

I do not know any arrogant homeschoolers, although I concede the possibility that they might exist. You probably wouldn't have to work too hard to find arrogant plumbers, architects, farmers, or grocery clerks.

There are definitely arrogant public educators. You need look no further than your mirror to find one, actually.

Being confident and serious about parenting and/or homeschooling is not arrogance.

In the last post I suggested you get out the dictionary. Do it again. This time, look up arrogance.

For my family, sending our son to school ended up being not worth the risk. That gamble we took in sending him to the local institution every day was not paying off, and was damaging him.

Our son, our choice.

It wasn't gambling to bring him home, it was necessary for his well-being. Protecting him was my job. I did it well.

Other people don't have to agree with my choices. From what I've learned about you so far, I'd be worried if you did agree with my choices.

Don't homeschool! part 8 of 10

3. And don’t give me this “they still participate in activities with public school kids” garbage. Socialization in our grand multi-cultural experiment we call America is a process that takes more than an hour a day, a few times a week. Homeschooling, undoubtedly, leaves the child unprepared socially.

I won't address your feel-good 'I-learned-this-in-school' fuzzy-headed juvenile assumption that America is a 'grand multi-cultural experiment'. (good grief)

I would never suggest that participating in activities with public school kids could be construed as adequate socialization OR teach proper social skills. You obviously haven't been paying attention while you're there.

Socialization and being social are not the same thing, by the way.

Look it up.

(I realize I'm assuming a lot here, but I'd think a person who has so many wonderful college degrees would be able to use a dictionary.)

As for being 'unprepared socially'... um, no.

But I have nothing to gain from convincing you. In fact, I don't really care if you ever 'get' it.

Don't homeschool! part 7 of 10

4. Homeschooling could breed intolerance, and maybe even racism. Unless the student is being homeschooled at the MTV Real World house, there’s probably only one race/sexuality/background in the room. How can a young person learn to appreciate other cultures if he or she doesn’t live among them?

Of course, thanks to the plethora of taxpayer-funded, politically correct curriculum and anti-bullying programs, there is no racism, intolerance, homophobia or hate present in the public schools. Those programs are so effective that bullying has just ceased to exist.

:::eyeroll:::

But since you've started the game, I'll play.




If by intolerance you mean that I've taught my children that any person, no matter their color or gender, can be a racist asshole, a bigot, or homophobic.. then yes, we're intolerant.

If by intolerance you mean that I've taught my children that everyone should always do the right thing without regard for what someone else may think... and that those who don't stand up for what's right lack integrity, yes. We're intolerant.

If you mean that I've taught them that everyone is entitled to their own religious beliefs and that even if we don't agree, it's not our place to comment in front of those people... yeah. Guilty.

(We certainly discuss it later, though. My kids have a basic understanding of and respect for many religions.)

If you mean that making sure my kids understand that saying politically correct things like, "We should shop at only white-owned (or Chinese-owned or Black-owned or Native American or Christian-owned or Buddhist-owned or woman-owned) businesses." is divisive and narrow-minded and isn't going to help foster any kind of racial, ethnic, or religious harmony, then yes, we are intolerant.

Or, if you mean that we believe people like Jesse Jackson and my cousin's neighbor, who thinks all black people should 'go back to Africa' are equally racist, then yeah. My kids are intolerant.

I've taught this scary worldview to them, too..

Love is love, and consenting adults of any gender or mix of genders should be free to be in love.

The only people who have a stake in it are the people in love. Everyone else should just mind their own business.

You see, I don't think you (generic you) have any right to comment or be concerned over it. It's not your place to do so.

If the love other people share is a threat to you, you're an idiot.

I guess that's intolerance, too. I make no apologies for any of it.

And homeschoolers are not in a room. We're in the world. We see people of other races, sexual orientations and cultures more than kids who are in a school building all day.

What kind of sheltered idiot thinks all homeschoolers are white and homophobic anyway?

Here's a fact for you... there are GAY people who homeschool!

There are many towns and cities right here in the US of A that are completely white. No Mexicans, no Black people, no Chinese or Japanese or anyone different. But that's okay. There are lots of books and movies about people with different lifestyles and ideas. Even the public school students who live in those places can learn about other cultures. Really.

Your arguments against homeschooling are silly.

I just can't take you seriously.

Doofus.

Ain't no Sunshine

Well crap.

Sunshine fell on Monday and hurt her ankle. I sympathize, but I will have to get up and work for her this morning and I don't wanna.

In fact, when this posts, I'll be at the school.

Thing is, she gets kind of pissy when I can't do my job... you know, when my effing knee hurts? She doesn't like to deal with all the stuff herself.

Yeah. I know how she feels. Will I point this out to her? No. I'll just keep looking for a new job.

This is post one of two for the day, as I'm still ranting about the Anti-homeschooler. (similar to but not exactly the same as the anti-Christ...) That post follows.

In re-perusing his original post, and his left handed half assed apology in his own comment section ("I was just trying to write like Mark Twain.") I have learned that he is a male person. Which explains why he's so stupid. (I'M KIDDING!!!) His gender has nothing to do with his stupidity, I know that.

ANYWAY... a male person who does not have children, but is quite willing to tell us how to raise ours.

Dickhead.

Don't homeschool! part 6 of 10

5. As a teacher, homeschooling kind of pisses me off. (That’s good enough for #5.)

For God's sake WHY??? Why on earth would you take my choices personally?

It's not about you at all!
("Arrogant? Table for one!")











This is the same tired bullshit that I've heard in various forms ever since we started homeschooling.

What I choose to do doesn't mean I disapprove of what you choose to do. My choices are not, and never will be, a commentary on the choices other people make.

Let's clarify here.

My choice to homeschool isn't a commentary on any choices you make for your family, including, but not limited to:
Your choice to send your children to public/private/parochial school.
Your choice to teach in one of those places.
Your ability to raise your children properly.
You personally.

I don't give a fart in a windstorm about the educational choices you make for you and yours.
Why should I?

I accept that some children thrive in school (while being morally certain that many kids would do better in an alternative setting).

And that's fine. Good for you. Good for them.

My kids, my choices, my life, my thing.
Your kids, your choices, your life, your thing.

Easy.

Don't homeschool! part 5 of 10

6. Homeschooling parent/teachers are arrogant to the point of lunacy. For real! My qualifications to teach English include a double major in English and education, two master’s degrees (education and journalism), a student teaching semester and multiple internship terms, real world experience as a writer, and years in the classroom dealing with different learning styles. So, first of all, homeschooling parent, you think you can teach English as well as me? Well, maybe you can. I’ll give you that. But there’s no way that you can teach English as well as me, and biology as well as a trained professional, and history… and Spanish… and art… and counsel for college as well as a school’s guidance counselor… and… and…

:::facepalm:::

Derrr... Me.. don't know if me can teach teh english... Me thinks so...

:::headdesk:::
:::headdesk:::
:::headdesk:::

I am capable of constructing elaborate sentences and being obscure and literary when I write, but I don't communicate that way.

I don't have the patience to read that kind of stuff, and I'm guessing the people who read my blog are accustomed to my informal and conversational style and would be confused if I suddenly changed it.

If, however, I decided to brag about my education... if I possessed one or two college degrees in English or Journalism, I'd make every effort to write as perfectly as possible.

Your qualifications sound good but your composition is full of grammatical errors and isn't well thought out. It appears disorganized and poorly constructed, at least to my uneducated eye.

I remain unimpressed.

"For real!"

Education isn't always related to intelligence and common sense, which you've demonstrated adequately in just the first few points you've tried to make.

As for teaching people with different learning styles... I had to adjust to two. It was easy. I'd known them all their lives.

And just for a moment, let's consider the whole 'everyone must know everything' philosophy.

Let's all join in being obtuse and stupid and just agree that the GRTF (government-run, taxpayer funded) education system must produce 'well rounded' students.

For goodness sake, WHY?????

With apologies to Mr. Kodesh, I have not diagrammed a single sentence since I left school.

And more apologies to Mrs. Kuizenga, I have done no geometry problems, either.

I've had no opportunity to demonstrate my knowledge of those skills at all. No one has asked me to recite all the state capitals or the principal exports of Peru, either.

Now, 30 years after my graduation, I'm starting to suspect that I didn't need to know those things.

I wasted a good portion of my time in public school memorizing useless facts and filling in blanks.

Can you imagine what kind of world we'd be living in if everyone were allowed to pursue the things they're best at and toss the shit they don't need by the wayside?

Although to be blunt and poke holes in my own rosy picture, it appears some forced classes on logic would have been beneficial to you.