Gee. I wonder why I'm tired.

So things aren't going too badly, although I hate the commute more than I'd expected. It's not a lot longer than my other one, just more speeding cars around me. I'm also more comfortable with one route, so I don't like the GPS sending me different ways to shave three minutes off drive time.

I've noticed an interesting thing, when I see a car zipping in and out of traffuck doing stupid maneuvers ahead, and I catch up with them (as one inevitably does) it's almost always either a BMW or an Audi.

Guess they don't understand how the whole traffuck thing works... the research out there suggests that you might save 30 seconds to a minute on your way to your destination by driving like a flaming asshole.

Not worth being stupid, if you ask me. (As usual, no one has asked.)

I'm also not a fan of being sandwiched between two very large trucks while we hurtle down the road at 65. No one asked me if that was okay, either, by the way.

Okay.

Still doing this training and that. "Here's how we do it at OUR company."

I don't find that to be a bad thing, especially after working for an organization with no program standards for the last six years. But it's a huge amount of information, much of it without context. There will be more context as I continue to work there, but until I get my hands on the paperwork/systems/ways of doing things it's just words.

I have more than 30 kids registered, and most days there are more than 30 in attendance.

The cafeteria is huge, and the program isn't organized. I still don't even know what stuff there is on site for adults to use (crafts and adult sized scissors and where's the paperwork for incident reports and where's our real first aid kit?)

That last one is solved by my just bringing mine until such time as I locate the things we need.

It's been awhile since the place was gone through, cleaned up and labeled.

It's still going to BE awhile. I simply haven't had time.
School gets out at 3, meaning I have three hours to deal with kid stuff instead of the 4 I had at my last job. That's not all bad, but it does cut into crafting time. And as wild as the group has been, it's taking a lot of effort to get them all going in more or less the same direction.

I don't want compliance and perfection in kid behavior, they're kids and they're going to act like it. I've said before that they're like unanchored lily pads on the frog pond of life and there's a hell of a wind storm going on.

But trying to get them to stop hitting each other, running in the cafeteria, throwing toys? Almost makes me want to start a reward system. (Not really... more on that later. I utterly refuse to do any kind of incentive for expected behaviors.)

I brought in some LEGO on Friday during the full day program. As always, it was a huge hit. So I'll be bringing in more this week. Amazing how things are toned down when kids have things to do.

Okay, I was going to do more catching up but good god it's nearly midnight. And even though I  work from home tomorrow morning (Zoom meeting at 10) I still have to get up and do something about my smooshed up face and hair and get something to eat before I have to park in front of the computer for an hour and a half.

How are things where you are?

And so it starts...

 My new gig has a lot of boys.
And boys are, well, boys.

I know it's trendy to pretend they're not that different from girls, but they are.

Yes, there are areas where they cross over, boys who like to do 'girl' things, girls who like to do 'boy' stuff.

I endeavor to avoid terms like that in program, they're not boy or girl toys, they're just toys.

Pink isn't a girl color just as blue isn't a boy color.
Art table activities are for everyone, too.

You get the idea. I encourage them to do whatever activities they're interested in doing without being concerned about who should play with what. It works well most of the time.

Thing is, boys are generally much more physical than girls. They argue more, they get loud faster, they crash into each other, they try to dominate the other boys. It's normal behavior. Normal in boys, and sometimes in girls.

The group in my new program has 38 kids.
I think 8 of them are girls.

It's chaotic after school. They pour into the cafeteria, every single one of them making noise, running, shoving each other around. I put a stop to backpack throwing (stand behind the blue line by the sink, throw your backpack the 10 to 15 feet to a basket) the second day, they didn't try it the first day.

They do have a routine of sorts.

Their stuff is put into laundry baskets. On Tuesday, which was day one for me on site, those baskets were lined up under the stage in front of the right hand double door, thus blocking half the fire exit. When I questioned it, the girl who's been working there since October said that the previous site director had done it that way.

When I pointed out the blocked exit door, she shrugged it off.
"That's how Beezee did it."

So on Wednesday, I moved the entire stack of baskets down to the other end of the room. The kids came in and figured it out. Not difficult.

The first day on site, I was working to learn names, get an idea of their routine and find out how they set up the cafeteria.

After snack time and a 'team meeting', both of  which are a full group things, Group 1 goes outside while group 2 does 'quiet activities' in the cafeteria.

Yep, two groups. We'll get back to that in a moment.

Quiet activities are in short supply. It's understocked with just regular program supplies, forget actual crafts or construction or science activities. One tiny little basket of LEGO, some wooden dominoes that won't stand up on edge because they're cheap crap, and a bin with puzzles. Not many games, it's hard to tell what's there because things are in baskets. Brown woven baskets. It's drab and colorless, which is something I plan to fix as soon as I can.

The office staff/directors have the professional demeanor (good heavens you should have seen the interviews I was put through!)  and say all the right things, but the program I'm getting is the same mess I've walked into over and over and over during my child care career.

Programming isn't thought out or supplied.

What they've been doing is going out right after snack time and staying out until nearly 5, when the groups will switch. By the time the second group is out there, it's getting dark, it's cold, and the kids are being picked up.

In other words, the site director had no idea what to do to keep kids entertained so she put them outside and let them entertain themselves.

I'm an advocate of lots of space to move around and many opportunities to do so, but there should be other things offered. What's been going on there is a babysitting service.

The now-departed site director separated the kids into two groups. I questioned that on Friday during our group discussion.

They were straightforward. "Well there was a lot of fighting and people got mad. Lots of kids got hit."

Because most of them are boys and we all know (or should know) how boys behave, that's how she chose to 'fix' things.

It's been that way since the end of September.
They divide all the friends and keep them apart.

"Yeah, we don't even have enough kids in group to play soccer."

Several of the other kids, who don't want to play soccer but still would like to play together haven't been able to, either. The kids who were having problems weren't the only ones forcibly separated. Had to balance the numbers, so they just arbitrarily decided which kids would be in what group.

Because the adults in charge were too lazy to teach the kids how to work things out, I guess. I'm not clear on everything that happened.

But if you don't give kids the tools to fix their issues, they're never going to learn. Keeping them apart was causing them resentment, anger, sadness and frustration. To me, the worst part is that they were powerless to do anything about it. They had no choice but to comply with what the adults made them do.

Our conversation during group time on Friday was about those issues.
I listened to them for about 10 minutes, calling on one after the other as they raised their hands. They told me about the hitting, the arguments and the anger.

Then, when they started to repeat things that had already been said, I said, "Okay, I think I understand. There was a lot of rule breaking and that meant you weren't playing together. Without yelling, tell me, would you like to try to keep us all one group today?"

They looked at each other and back at me, checking to see if I meant it. When they realized that I did mean it, they were really excited. Their volume did increase a bit, but they didn't yell.

So I said, "You all know what the rules are.
The rules are on you, not on me. You're all very capable of remembering a few rules without me going over them again.
Knowing that we don't hit our friends and that if you can't solve a problem without hurting someone you can come to me or one of the other adults for help, let's try hanging out together today."

Guess what?

Yes, you're correct. They did fine.
We didn't go outside for two whole hours, either.

We went out right after snack time because they've all been cooped up in their classrooms and they're ready to get out and run off some energy. It just makes extra work for the adults to try to keep things calm when the children aren't capable of being calm at that time. Why ask them to do something they can't physically do, then be grumpy when they don't do it? Geez.

Now I can understand separating kids that are having problems for a day or two, even a week in extreme cases. But punishing the entire group for a whole school year because a few of them were having communication issues and acting like boys and pushing each other around and hitting on occasion?

I can't see how that's a helpful thing to do. Not even helpful for the adults, as they had to take paperwork every afternoon and divide the kids. Four clipboards are in use. A master one that has child information/files and the official sign in document, another one that sits on the parent table, and one for each group for a face to name count every half hour.

I'll be changing that permanently.
Also being tossed out? Stars as a reward and little fucking trinkets for compliance.

More on that later, I was going to be in bed an hour ago.

I keep walking into the same damn stuff.
Of course.

Feeling Spinny

It's a whirlwind.
It's always like that when one changes jobs, have you noticed?
Or is that just me?

Of course part of the crazy is the commute. Since I am not leaving early in the morning, it's usually not too bad, about a half hour. A half hour was also the length of my other commute, but about half of it was spent on Powell, a surface street that's populated with a TON of pedestrian traffic, lots of cars, bikes, homeless encampments, many businesses that make people turn left to get out of the driveway, usually without benefit of stop lights or common sense or any idea of traffic speed. And let's not forget the people standing/walking down the narrow strip of curb in between lanes of traffic at stop lights, asking for handouts.

Sometime soon one of those doofii will end up falling in a lane of traffic and be smashed to smithereens or be taken out by the big assed mirror on the side of someone's truck. Remember, you heard it here first. There are a lot of pedestrian deaths on that street.

Although there are many crazy drivers on that stretch, it's not always the fault of the motorist.

People walk right out in front of cars, I've had it happen to me and have seen it happen countless times. I think they assume that since they can see the cars, the cars can see them. But, well, cars have lights. Idiot pedestrians dressed in dark clothing, not using a crosswalk and paying no attention seem to get hit by vehicles, go figure.

Daytime wasn't so bad except for the time it took, but night driving on that street was horrifying.
I'm glad to be done with it.

So my commute now is 98% freeway driving. I've noticed I get much better mileage, although my car is economical anyway. There are three different major freeway choices for my trip, and using my GPS means it chooses the best route for me. It hasn't chosen the same route consistently enough for me to become familiar with any of the routes, but I'm starting to know which lane I need to be in with enough time that I don't have to rush to get over to the left or the right, depending. Most of the other drivers are considerate when I turn my signal on. I have seen a couple of near misses involving other vehicles, though. Mostly I try to stay out of the way.

People get in a friggin' hurry.

I just want to arrive alive.

So I've been doing what they call 'onboarding' this week. I've always found that to be a silly term but no one consulted me when they added it to our language. I was issued a company laptop (brand new!) and have been taking online classes and courses to learn how the company operates.

It's a lot, and after days and days of it, it's tedious in spots, but so far I have learned many things I didn't know before.

There are additional courses on safety and other things that really are important. I think if everyone gets the same information, the chances of reacting correctly in an emergency improve.

From what I have seen so far, the organization doesn't hire idiots. Everyone I've met has been intelligent and dedicated to the idea that kids are actually people... they just haven't been human as long as we have.

Everyone wants to take care of the young humans they're entrusted with, and the in-depth training taking place may mean the difference between life and death.

The onboarding process means I show up at the office around 10, set up my computer at an open work station and start taking one of the bajillion courses. It's usually three hours or so, then off to lunch and to my new school/program from 2:15 to 6:15. Definitely getting some hours in.

Today I sat in the parking lot at the school and ate the slice of pizza I bought at a mom and pop pizza shop for lunch. I was doing a little cleaning of the front seat, couple soda cans, a water bottle, miscellaneous music and ziploc bags to toss out. I was making sure my charger was charging the phone (GPS makes the battery low sometimes) and I wasn't looking when I picked up the soda can. My right index finger went into the hole and I sliced the shit out of it. Thanks to Excedrin, my finger bled a lot. To be fair, the slice isn't very long but it's pretty deep. I suppose all the bleeding is justified.
I have bandages in my backpack. Of course.

So... about that school/program.

I won't call it dismal, there has been some effort made to have a few things for the kids to do, but it's not adequately supplied for such a large group. I will once again be bringing things in for the kids to do. I left a lot behind at my old school because taking the things I'd purchased away from the kids would have been a terrible and mean thing to do, and I'm not willing to hurt their feelings.

My leaving in aggravation over shit policies has nothing to do with them. They already were sad to see me leave, but they knew I still cared about them. Taking their toys when I left would have sent an entirely different message. I sure could use some of them now, though!

So, my new site.
::sigh::

Part of the issue is the same thing that plagues so many other organizations that provide care to children, that madly spinning revolving door of employment.

I am the second site director this year at this school, and a third person who was training to be a director is going to leave in a week. She has been very helpful to me while I have been learning the names of kids and I've only had to ask for ID from one parent because she was out of the room when someone arrived to pick up a child.

She's very nice, and likes working with the young humans, but she has found a better job, one with the county, which means really good benefits and more opportunity to move up.

We have a teen assistant, too. She is helpful around the edges, constantly cleaning the tables, sweeping floors, engaging with the group. She has the energy to chase them around the playground and play freeze tag or go down the slide with them or sit at a table and color a picture.

I had to set an alarm on my phone to remind me to make sure she takes a 10 minute break somewhere in the chaos of a typical afternoon. Not accustomed to supervising anyone these days, my assistant at my recent job was pretty much able to manage all that stuff on her own, and neither one of us really took official breaks, we just went to the restroom as needed. But legally, especially since she's not even 18, I have to make sure she gets a rest break every afternoon.

Anyway, it's been a tornado and I'm exhausted and my schedule isn't figured out yet so that I'm eating at decent intervals, I get home around 7 and then I eat so late that I have to stay up a bit so my dinner has a chance to get started through the digestive system and isn't sitting in a big lump in my stomach when I lie down.

The digestive thing and the wacky schedule and the fact that my bathroom is here, at my house, which is allllll the way across town from my job means that I haven't had, uh, sit down time except in the evenings.

There *is* an adult restroom in the hallway near our cafeteria, which is quite helpful, but if one goes into the bathroom and doesn't come back out for 10 minutes, it's obvious that it wasn't just a tinkle.

Yeah, I know, even the King of England poops (although he probably has someone who's paid to wipe his royal tushie) but still. So my quiet restroom time happens in the evenings, too.

Anyway, it's been a wild week. As usual I just got thrown into a new school and am supposed to sink or swim on my own. They *are* providing a life preserver or two, and they seem very happy to have me there for reasons other than, "We gotta have somebody!!" but it's a lot and I'm tired.

Glad tomorrow is Friday, I'll be raiding the supply room for some foil and some beads or marbles. I'll be starting 'Sci Fri', an open ended experiment time that we'll do at least twice a month.

The kids will love it.

Tomorrow (if I find the things I need at work) we'll be filling a plastic bin with water, making boats from foil and seeing how many marbles will fit before the boat either capsizes or sinks.

Okay. I've had my dinner and my quiet time in the bathroom. I've been ready for sleep for about two hours now, I think I'll do that.

You say goodbye and I say hello. Hello hello?

Are you hearing music?
I love a lot of Beatles songs but they weren't great musicians.
Wonderful song writers. Not great at the technical stuff.

First day on the new job.
I was supposed to be there at 10, GPS said "24 minute drive" but I left my house earlier than I needed to just in case traffuck got crazy.

It didn't. I arrived a half hour early.

Sat in my car for a few minutes, but I'd rather sit in my car in the parking lot of my destination than sit in the car on the freeway, swearing about being late. Next time I'll bring my tablet so I can read if I'm early.

Today's training stuff was an orientation and tour of the facilities.
An hour and a half of HR stuff that could have been in an email, then a lunch order (sandwiches from Jimmy John's) and some computer time.

They wanted to make sure we could access our training websites, but it doesn't make sense to me that they wanted to do that today when we're not doing the training until next week. Ah well.

I'll be working during the mornings at the office this week and meeting my new young humans and getting to know the adult humans who work at my site as well.

I am going to be responsible for making sure their hours are correct for payroll and learn about their strengths and what they do at the school.

The morning shift at my school will be handled by one of them, I won't be working split shifts for this employer. I'll eventually be doing a bit of stuff at home, going to fix a work space this weekend in the momcave.

Yesterday afternoon, my last shift with my kids wasn't as hard as I thought it would be. Kids brought me gifts, I got handmade little cards, I got hugs. Ended up with 30 bucks to spend at Target and 50 for Amazon. Unnecessary but appreciated so much.

I didn't get all emotional. I've been fine, surprisingly.

It didn't rip my heart out the way it did when I left my other job six years ago.

My feelings weren't less, but I wasn't worn out from putting up with a year of harassment from a crazy narcissistic bitch before I left this time, either. 
I am sorry I had to leave, but it was the right decision.

I saw a couple of the parents for the first time since I turned in my notice, too.

One of them was furious and demanded some email information for someone above Madge. Apparently Madge was unconcerned about the emails they sent to her and summarily dismissed them.

But the organization made email addresses easy, C.ExecOfficer@CheapAss.org.

So I passed along the contact information for the CEO.

Madge and the rest of the gang have kept him in the dark about a few things, one being the size of the waiting list at the school. They engaged in some computer subterfuge to keep him from knowing, since he doesn't like kids being on a waiting list.

It's laziness on the part of some of his minions, instead of going to the school and trying to arrange a different program space (they used to be in the cafeteria and swapped back and forth between the gym and the cafeteria each day for a bit until SUN came in and took over the whole damn building ) 'cause minions sit in the office and do, well, I am not sure what they do.

The cafeteria/gym/cafeteria thing worked well, but after the pandemic, they got a new principal and the arrangement changed. The minions didn't try to fix that, they just let it go. Because the minions make the same amount of money whether they're doing a good job or not.

I wasn't supposed to know all that. Madge let it slip quite awhile back.
It's possible that I told all this to the few parents who asked.

I mean, what were they gonna do, fire me?

The person they hired to run the program there probably won't end up staying with the company, she's too smart and won't be content there. Company's not organized well enough and there are so many possibilities for her.

Not my problem, of course.

None of it is my problem anymore.

They said goodbye, and I say hello.

Okay, well...

I submitted just a couple applications.

I don't have to find a new job, I just feel that if I stay where I am, they will not become more respectful of what I do. There's no magical change of thinking about to happen.

They have no idea what I do. Not a clue how I run programs, how I deal with kids and how much I've contributed.

No matter how long I stay, they'll never know.
In fact, they don't care.

More and more I think their criteria for people who run their programs is that nothing happens that gets us in the news. They don't care if the kids are happy. They charge quite a bit of money for their programs, too. And although the rates are standard, the programs are not.

It's odd, though. Except for a couple of them I've met, most of the people who work  there are nice people who have good intentions.

But there's no way to talk to the upper people, they don't need or want input.
They make a lot of money and they don't have time for peons.

Fair enough, I wouldn't invite any of them for dinner. And if I were walking down the street carrying a bottle of water and saw one of them on fire, I would probably drink the water.

I still can't imagine putting someone in a position for six years and never once dropping in to see how things were running and whether the families were happy with the level of care received.

So being choosy about where I submitted an application was important to me.
I figured they might not even call me and if not, well, I have a job.
I may be pissed off, but it's not a low wage job and of course it's a thing I love.

The first place I submitted my resume contacted me via email within 15 minutes. A new personal record, I think.

We talked on the phone for about 20 minutes. She was very nice. The program is in one school, pays quite a bit less than what I am earning now, and is quite a distance from where I live. She told me that she would have hired me without even talking to me based on my resume.

She said, "I took one look and I knew I had to talk to you."
Flattering.

And if it were close, I would have considered working there despite the quite-a-bit- smaller salary. Short commute/less gas.

She owns the program herself, has no plans to expand or go corporate or any of the other things that aren't necessarily going to contribute to good programming. We agreed that it probably wasn't what I was looking for although she said I was exactly what she was seeking.

Ah well.

The second place waited five hours before contacting me.
I actually didn't apply for the position they emailed me about, I was looking at one a little lower down the ladder.

But the email said they thought I'd be a good fit for a director position.
It's not closer than my current job. The commute is actually longer.
But. There is no split shift. It's a 'start at 9, be done at 6, be sure to take a lunch break' thing.

The job involves some administrative things. I'll be working from an office until I get everything figured out, but they told me I could work from home several mornings a week. Doesn't matter too much, I will still have to show up at a school every afternoon to run a program. I'll have a staff of three or four to supervise. I should be home around 7 each evening. Sure hope so.

I have not turned in my notice. I actually just accepted the offer today. I was interviewed by three different people in two zoom calls. Another first for me, a job interview while wearing pajama pants.

I almost canceled the first interview. I thought about where I am now, how much I've worked to fix the program, how much I love the kids who are there. The five (yes, five) who are on the spectrum and how much they feel valued by me. I considered the fact that I get a lot of time off. I've refused to work in other people's programs because I hate the way they do things most of the time. The carrot and stick thing, rewarding kids for cleaning up the toys. Such a condescending thing.

I considered emailing the interviewer and telling them thank you but I've decided to stay where I am.

Then I asked myself what harm it would do just to talk to them. It's not like I must accept their offer.

So I talked with this nice person for about 45 minutes. I liked her, I liked what she had to say, I liked her description of the company. So I agreed to a second talk.

The second interview took twice as long as it was supposed to, but almost every question they asked me was about how I handle things with kids. I wasn't trying to sell it, I figured either they liked me or they didn't. It's nice not to be under pressure to look good or try to appear better than, ya know?

I did not falsely represent myself, either. For example I told them I don't like the practice of putting children on a carpet and standing over them to lecture.

"They may not have the vocabulary or life experience to describe it, but the symbolism of having someone stand over them and tell them what to do isn't lost on them. I won't do that."

We talked a lot.

And at the end, after an hour and a half instead of 45 minutes went by, they told me to watch my email for an offer.

When I checked my email after work yesterday afternoon, the offer was in my email.

I deliberately did not evaluate it or take much of a look at it, I knew I'd lie awake all night and consider and worry... not all of it over the possible new job. Lots of upset over the current one.

Got up this morning and looked it over carefully. It looked good. As I was getting ready to leave for work this afternoon, I signed the electronic document and accepted it.

Now, of course, comes the hard part.
I have to give notice and say goodbye to people.
Again.

And then learn how they do things in a new organization.

Wish me luck.

I was right.

It should not be a surprise.
Being right is a thing I am usually good at.

I had to go to the office yesterday.
When the pandemic hit, our offices were in the process of moving. We had the entire main floor of our office building.
It was large, full of all kinds of stuff, disorganized and a little crazy.

In the fall when the orders for restocking sites came it, everyone's little office cubicles were stacked to the top with things like beanbag chairs and shelving units and boxes of LEGO. The supply room was bursting with markers and pencils and paperclips and pens and paper and a million other little things that most people needed to have a successful site.

So the effort was being made to consolidate the whole thing into half of the floor of the building and then the pandemic happened.
Suddenly we were closed.
Almost no one was working in our company.
Schools were shut down.

Well, now we're sort of ready to be back up and running. There are boxes and piles of stuff all over the office. It's one really big room, no dividers or cubicles, at least not yet. I don't know if there will be or if they're going to take advantage of the open space to make a big, friendly, everyone-in-your-business sort of environment.

Either way, I am so, so glad I am not part of it. I won't be collating papers, sitting in the middle of a wide open space where everyone can see everyone else.  I won't be making runs to Costco, I won't be driving to the office  EVERY day, either. Which is something I didn't actually consider when I decided to turn down the promotion. You'd think I would have thought about that, but nooooo.

Everyone there is very nice. They all seem to be comfortable with the level of chaos. Computers are hooked up, phones are being answered, everyone looks happy.

But there's no space to be alone.
No quiet spots.

The corner office, which does have a door and a big window, is occupied by three people, the next room over is a big conference room where several people have set up some sort of base of operations and where I sat with my manager person and the guy who used to run the program at the school where I have ended up. I sat there with them for over an hour, talking about the site, getting an understanding of the school's culture and discussing any possible child issues.

While we sat there talking, people had to come in and out gathering some papers and other things.

I learned that all our sites are moving on from the indestructable old flip phones that we used for years and years to brand new iPhones.

::sigh:::

I don't love Apple products, but I am sure we got a discount.
No one asked my opinion before taking the plunge.

I also learned that everyone will be getting a company email address so that people aren't using their personal emails. I'm sure there are good reasons for it, but I really don't want one. I wasn't consulted about that, either. (imagine that!!)

My impression of our new office is that it's chaotic and haphazard in some ways, organized and managed as it should be in other ways. They have paperwork done on time, children are placed ahead of profits, they respect the people who work there, pay them fairly and are appreciative of our efforts.

It's a great company to work for, but my heart is with the kids.

In other news, I drove up to my old school today and dropped off a couple cards and some candy for some of the people who were so wonderful to me there. Wrote some heartfelt words to them.

I got a 'thank you' email this evening from the school's counselor. She was, as usual, kind. She expressed my moving on as a loss for the kids and the entire school community. Made me a little weepy.

So school starts in Portland Public Schools a week from today. I've embarked on my last week of staying up late and sleeping in.

After talking to the former person who worked at my new school, I think it will be a great fit. I'll be meeting my supervisor person there on Monday so I can get a look at the space and think about what I will be bringing with me. I've planned a couple easy projects (we aren't sure when new supplies will be provided, so we will be depending on what's in stock at our respective schools) and I have the things I need here at home to take in *for* those projects. My kids won't be bored. Neither will I.

I do hate having to trade my six minute commute for a 20 to 30 minute one, but my choices are limited.

Except for no longer working in a familiar place, I think things will be okay.
I told the head guy that I did not want a supervisory position, that things in my personal life are too busy and too much is going on.

"I need a job I can do in my sleep, really. And I frequently DO this job in my sleep. My dreams are often filled with me taking care of kids... first aid and protecting them from monsters and doing craft projects. This is what I am meant to be doing. So thank you so much for the offer, but I want to continue doing what I do so well."

Speaking of sleep... nearly midnight.

ZZZ ya later.

Controlling the Trash

I wait near the doors of the gym for my kids after school. Just down the hallway is the door into my program. When all my kids have been dropped off with me, we go as a group to our area.

Billy came down the stairs with his teacher Monday afternoon. She was gently holding his arm with one hand and carrying a piece of crumpled paper with the other.

She handed me the paper and said to me, "I'd like you to give this to Billy's mom and tell her that he ruined it and then smashed it all up."

To Billy she said sternly, "We don't treat our work this way."

He looked temporarily chastised. Then she turned her back and left with the rest of the class and he quit worrying about it. I asked him as we were walking back to our program area, "What happened, Buddy? You just didn't like the way it was turning out?"

"Yeah, it was stupid. I made another one and I was putting this one in recycle. But then I got in trouble for crunching it all up."

Billy is six. And reading very well. He was reading one of my books about volcanoes today and telling me about the stuff that gets into the atmosphere and how lava is really, really hot.

The 'work' his teacher gave me had a cartoon drawing of a guy with a big letter 'J' on his shirt. Mr.J who likes to Jump.
Billy isn't interested in learning phonics. He really doesn't need to.
But he's in a combined k/1st grade class because he 'failed' at learning to sit still in class last year. So he's not technically being held back, except of course he *is* because he can't move on until he masters important things like sitting still and doing phonics.

So I did give it to his mom. We discussed what we do when we don't like the work we do. I said that I crumple up a lot of my little drawings and toss them in the recycling. She laughed a little and said that she does, too. And then turned to him and said, "Put away the Bionicles, little dude, time to go."

I just don't understand the pathological need for control that teacher demonstrated. It seems to me that since he did the project a second time and produced one that she was happy with that what he did with the first 'failure' wasn't important. Why not crumple it and toss it in the bin?

Of course I can't say anything about it to the teacher.
I gave it to his mom as requested.
But I don't understand why it was such a big deal.

The shirt off my back...

I'm expected to wear a uniform t shirt to work.
So far, that hasn't gone well.

First, I was issued two in size 2x. (Men's sizes... meaning almost big enough to fit my boobs but the shirt looks like a box.)

One was 100% cotton. One was half polyester. I can't wear polyester, it makes me itchy.

So, trying to do what I was supposed to do, I wore the too-tight-in-the-boobies cotton shirt on the 2nd day of work. (First day the shirts were in the laundry.)

That was the day I finally had bleach AND rags to clean out the fridge. And I got bleach on the sleeve of the shirt. Of course.

So the next time I drove over to the office, I took the half poly shirt with me and told my manager why I could not wear it. And that the other shirt had gotten bleach on the sleeve because of the moldy fridge.

So she got me two more shirts. Silly me, I figured that she would grab the same size, so I didn't check. When I got home and tried one on, I couldn't get it over my boobs at all. I mean like NO way. Pulled it back over my neck, got my friggin' reading glasses and looked at the tag.
XL.

Faaaaaackkkk!

So the shirts went back into my backpack and the next time I went out to the office (22.8 miles at 54 cents per mile... pays for my gas and then some) I traded those two shirts in.

I decided that I wasn't going to wear the 2x. Just not enough boob room. So I got 4x.

Now those are waaay too big.
I knew they would be, but I wanted to fix them.

So I spent the afternoon on Sunday taking them apart and altering one of them. I took five inches off the shoulder seam. That particular seam was about halfway down my bicep before being fixed. I took five inches off the sides and about three inches off the sleeve circumference. And using a girl-type shirt that actually does fit me as a pattern, I cut the front and back into a slightly different shape. Tapered in at the waist and not like a big damn box. Oh, and had to take about three inches off the bottom, too. I don't like my shirts too short but I didn't want it to be like a nightgown, either.

Then I sat here and sewed the thing back together. I made a new shirt out of it.
It is sort of a pain in the ass. I had to haul out the sewing machine and now there are scraps of eye-blinding purple fabric everywhere. But the shirt fits.

I had planned to get a couple more big big shirts next time I had to go out to the office. (I believe Thursday is the day I'm supposed to show up, I don't really know since my manager has not communicated that to me...) It would also be nice to get shirts that aren't men's t-shirts or those goddamn polo shirts that look like crap on everyone who wears them, but I don't know if that's a possibility. I will ask if there is some sort of catalog or something we can order from.

Wait... I just started poking around online and found that I can order some shirts made for WOMEN!

So I will not be messing around with fixing anymore shirts, dammit.

What a pain in the ass.

More Site Maintenance

We've been decorating our room a little bit. I'll be adding some kid photos to the bulletin boards over the next couple weeks. I gave the kids some artist trading cards to decorate, too. I hung a trifold board that says 'Our Art' and have been filling it up with interesting cards.

They're nice kids. I am not feeling as overwhelmed as this week ends, although I still have so many things I need to accomplish. Getting some things stored where they're not in my way will be helpful as will getting a ball cart and tossing out a bunch of things that have probably been sitting there for ten years, unused. Oh, and a new garbage can, too. The one we have is no bigger than a fart bucket, as my grandma used to say.

I got out some new watercolor paints Friday morning. Owen said, "Are these new?"

When I told him they were, he said incredulously, "Wow! How did you get them?"

I said that they'd been in the box I picked up at the office.

He said, "Wow. We never got new stuff here before. We're a small site, so they don't really care, I guess."

I didn't want to tell him that Heather, last year's site director, was maybe possibly sort of a little clueless. I met her at the pointless boring pointless and did I mention boring meeting yesterday. I was thinking that if I ran into the new site director at my old site, I'd ask about my kids. I'd want to know how they're doing. I'd maybe try to fill in the new person about things the kids really like or stuff they said that was funny or, I don't know... something.

She doesn't seem like the type of person who doesn't like kids, I think she's just really young and inexperienced. It seems like she didn't really try to find and do things the kids would like and enjoy/take care of business. The effort it takes to get to know the kids on an individual basis and find out what each one likes and is interested in is a good start.

I may be wrong. I don't know what she did there. But some of the things the kids have said about never getting new supplies, running out of cups 'all the time', never having milk for breakfast... those are things that she should have taken care of.

You can go to the office and get cups and trash bags and ziploc bags and paint and paper and books and toys and rugs (although apparently not a door mat... haha) and ask for things you need/want for your site. Yeah, it's a pain in the ass to drive over there. And I plan to not do it as often as possible.. but still.

We're handed 50 dollar gift cards to stop at the grocery store and buy milk as needed. "Keep your receipts and turn them in with the card when there's only a couple dollars left and we'll give you another one." So running out of milk isn't necessary. I did not have milk for the kids for a few days because the fridge was full of mold and unusable, but that wasn't my fault either.

Also, no one from the office has visited my site yet. No supervisory person has come in while program was in operation and observed what's going on and how the children are being cared for.

As much as I passionately hated, still hate, wished for a fucking meteor to smash her house, will always hate disliked Fluffy, things like site visits with a new site director would definitely have happened. She was incompetent in almost every way, but she at least knew to keep up appearances.

Slow Day

Between kids going on camping trips, kids who don't attend on Fridays, a girl going to her grandma's after school, a boy taking a LEGO Robotics class after school... well, I ended up with three kids this afternoon. That's a very small group, if you should wonder.

Drew is five. He turned five in August, so he's really young. Can't say he isn't ready for school, though. Smart little guy.
We were having our snack this afternoon, graham crackers and applesauce.

The kids were offered a choice of plain or cinnamon. He tilted his head and said, "I like cinnamon applesauce. The regular kind is sort of bland, don't you think?"

I told him that I like applesauce without cinnamon, but that cinnamon definitely adds some taste.

He was kicking his feet and dipping his crackers in the applesauce and eating them, looking at the back of the graham cracker box while he munched. Suddenly he stopped.

"Well that's an interesting combination," he said.
I asked him, "What?"

He turned the box around to show me the recipe and photo on the back. Pictured was a graham cracker with two slices of apple on top, a piece of cheddar cheese melted over the top.

"Who eats that?!?" he said, rolling his eyes. Before I could formulate an answer, he said scornfully, "Foodies."

::snicker:::

Later, we were outside when Colette noticed a squirrel near the fence behind the swings. "Look! It's a squirrel! I'm going to go say hi!"

"You're going to have to be careful," Drew told her. "Squirrels are very sensitive."

"I know how to be quiet," she told him loftily. And then ran toward the squirrel shouting, "Hiiiii squirrel!!!"

He disappeared through the chain link fence and off into the trees on the other side. I don't know if he ran because he was sensitive or because he suddenly had business elsewhere.

Kids are funny just about everywhere, apparently.

I guess being all alone is good?

We have a monthly site director meeting at the main office.

It's expected that we'll show up.

Today's meeting was an eye-opener for me. My program is small, and with the little space we have, that's fine. I don't want a lot more kids in that tiny room, we'll get on each other's nerves. I do want it to grow a little. And when the new school is built in a few years, have a going concern. I think the timing is good.

But some of the programs in Portland are very large, staffed by several people.
One of those programs notified the parent of a Kindergartner after school this week that she wasn't in program. "Didn't show up," the person told her on the phone.

So everyone was looking for this little five year old girl. Police were called. Protocol for missing child was followed.

About 15 minutes later, they realized that she was in program with them. It's just that someone forgot to sign her in, then the other person who counted kids hadn't noticed a discrepancy.

The parent was a little upset. Gee, can't imagine why.

My program numbers in the single digits. It's not difficult to keep track of all my nice kids. (they really are... every one of them. No issues... oh sure, a little attitude from my brash 1st grade guy with the bright red hair and his counterpart, a little blonde girl, also grade 1.) They're both only children and both of them are very definite in what they like, what they don't like, and what they want to do. We have had a few discussions about hand washing and treating our toys nicely, but they're just little... not mean.

I have four K kids, two 1st graders, two third graders, a 4th grader and a 5th grader. Some of them attend in the mornings only. Some in the afternoons only. I have seven when everyone is there AM and seven when they're all there PM. It's a very manageable group.

After meeting the rest of the site directors and hearing about some of their issues, I am glad to be doing my own thing. My manager is doing a little better as a manager, she's at least answering my questions and working to find the answers I'm asking for.

I got another huge stack of paperwork, didn't get home until noon, was back out the door at 2:30 and of course the last kid wasn't picked up until six. Every single day there's at least one child there until six on the dot. Or a couple minutes after. Pushing the rules just a little.

So far, I am keeping track of all my kids okay.
Being alone out on the edges of the city is not a bad thing.

It's taking shape...

It's my intention to run a program, not a babysitting service.

The people who have been running this site have lasted two months or five months or just one school year. One of my kids wondered aloud about that this afternoon.

He said that, "We are all good kids," and he doesn't know why people don't want to stay there. "But maybe we did something wrong, I don't know," he shrugged.

I told him the truth. That it's a small program compared to a lot of the other ones run by the same organization. And that many adults don't like the idea of being the only adult at the program, that they want other adults to share the work with and to talk to. I pointed to the Goldfish cracker that got squished into the carpet during snack time and a bunch of other stuff on the carpet. I vacuumed yesterday, but it needs it again. I told him that I could take them all to the gym and have another adult do the vacuuming/answer the back door if I had one, but since I did not, I would have to wait until the kids all went home before I could do the floor.

I told him that at my last school, I had another adult to work with, and I liked that quite a bit. That she sat with kids and did art projects sometimes, that I could take kids out to play while she cleaned the table and swept the floor, that we worked well together. I said that I really liked working with another adult, too, but that I like this school and the kids in the program and that I don't plan to go anywhere. "I stayed seven years in my last school, I'm not planning on going anywhere. My last school had a small program when I started working there, but after people started finding out how much fun everyone was having there, I got more kids. So I am here for you guys to have a good time and to make the program bigger. And maybe sometime we'll need another adult to hang out with us!"

I brought in one of my photo cutouts today. The one with the monkey surfing on a banana. I tried to find it in my old posts, but I wasn't successful. Feel free to search. :)

Five of my kids wanted their photo taken with the cutout. Collette (7) is missing her front teeth, her photo was adorable.

The two youngest kids didn't want to have their picture taken, which I thought was funny. Gracie asked me shyly, "Do I have to do it?"

I said, "No, you don't. When you're here, you get to make choices about how you want to spend your time. If you don't want to be in a monkey picture, that's fine, Hon."

I think she chose to not be photographed to see if she really could or if I would make her do it even if she didn't want to. I think when she sees the pictures of the other kids, she will want to have one, too. But I won't pressure her with it. I left the monkey cutout there just in case.

And the other little dude, Garrison, said, "I don't have time for a picture right now. I'm looking for a Bionicle." He kept digging in the plastic bin for parts. Never even looked up. ::snicker::

I found a very large stuffed iguana at Goodwill yesterday. It's hot pink, mostly. Lyssa, who is really good at naming things, named him Fenwick. The kids think it's great. I like it because they like it, of course, but it really adds a great visual impact to the reading corner.

The cups are a huge hit. They're bright red and add a splash of color to the room, too. I've mounted some colored tri-fold boards to the walls with command strips, this one is for reading. Pardon the quality, didn't have my camera with me when I took the photo. There are four circles on the board now.

Each reading session of 20 minutes, we add another circle. The circles have bugs in them that match the ones on the board.

Parents love that the reading part of their kids' homework is already done when they come to pick them up.

Anyway, I think I've finally arranged the room in a way that works for all the different activities we do. I don't like the size of the room, it is a little small, but I greatly appreciate that I don't have to tear down my program every day. It's nice to be able to leave things sitting out for the kids to play with.

They love being able to leave whatever they're working on in the mornings and come back in the afternoon and be able to keep playing, too. We've added a few more children to the mix this week, and they seem to be enjoying the program.

It's important for the kids to have a space that's theirs. I've tried to divide up the room a bit, putting the reading area in one corner, the double-sided play cart (art on one side, LEGO and other stuff on the other), a homework area that's being used for playing pool and building with magnets currently, and a double table where we have snacks and play board games. We spend a little time outdoors every day, and will start using the gym when it starts getting too chilly or rainy.

But I have a lot of things out for them to do and I'll be bringing more stuff in after I have time to go through all of the things I have left here at home over the weekend.

Things are starting to look the way I want them to look. I still wish I had a larger space... one without a carpet, for goodness sake... but I am mostly happy with the way things are going.

Tomorrow morning I'm going to try to get them to make me some watercolor pictures to display. We'll see. They just don't seem to want to do art-y things.

One of this week's new enrollments is a child who attended summer program two years ago. She was in 1st grade then, 3rd now. I got a phone call from the office on Friday to tell me she'd be attending. She has a very unusual name, I knew there couldn't be more than one child with that name. I was right.

On Monday morning, she walked in the back door, looked at me and lit up. "Hippie!!!" I got a hug. She was very surprised to see me.

I learned that she has attended two other summer programs since the one where I met her. She said that ours had been her favorite, though. She asked about Pixie and Wasabi, two other adults who'd used camp names. I was glad to tell her that they're doing fine.

Anyway, I should have been in bed 20 minutes ago.
But things are moving along. I just need to get that back room into shape so I can bring my things in, get rid of the stuff here at home that I'm not going to need and start growing the program. I started with four kids, now I have 10 total, although my biggest group at one time is seven. It's a small room. I'm okay with that.

The school is one that is scheduled for demolition.
New school in 3 years.

I need to catch up with the principal and find out what the plan is for the future of whatever day care program they're going to have. I'm guessing I'll be back to working in a school cafeteria in a few years. Not my favorite option, but I'm really happy to be working in comparative freedom right now.

Overwhelmed

I've been trying to catch up a little.
But it's hard to do cleanup and organization when there are kids on site, I can't leave them and go do stuff in the other room because of that whole 'I signed on to actually watch the kids' thing.

I keep seeing the mess in the back room getting bigger instead of smaller.
Even though Mondays are late start days in our district and my school does not start until 9:55 AM... seriously.. ughhhh...I had to run out to the office again this morning, apparently I was supposed to turn in a time sheet in order to be paid ("Someone should have told you this!" I heard from the nice person who volunteered to help me with it) and it's sort of important. Since I've worked for a month without pay already after going all summer without being paid as well.

Doesn't help with the finances, ya know?

I had asked for a doormat to catch some of the crap that's being tracked in the back door every day. Since my vacuum wheels keep falling off, it's sort of a pain in the ass to have to vacuum every day with a vacuum that works great... except for the whole wheels falling off thing.

I also asked for a mat to put under the water cooler we were issued by the school district. Apparently we're also under the whole 'omggggg there's lead in them there water pipes' thing that's plaguing Portland Public Schools. So no drinking from fountains in our school. They're all covered with plastic.

So the person who goes out and buys supplies bought both mats for me. They were in a corner of the supply room with my location written on paper and taped to the wrapping on the outside of them. And someone took my door mat. Assholes.

Anyway, I was feeling a little pissy this afternoon, had driven all the way out to the office, got hit with a migraine right as I got there (yeah, I always have migraine medicine with me) and didn't get everything I'd asked for. And of course the whole lack of communication from my "manager" was annoying me, too.

I need to point out (again) that she's really very nice. She is just completely clueless about being a manager. Not sure what I need to do about it... if anything. I suspect I will mostly just bypass her. Easier than trying to get answers.

I didn't leave the office until 11:30 AM. Had planned to come home and do some laundry and not nap, but the whole migraine thing derailed me.

I was able to sleep a bit. One really nice thing about having my school six or seven minutes away is that I don't have to rush as much in the afternoons. I was drying my hair and putting on my shoes at the time I usually had to arrive at my old school to set up. I am working a few more hours than I used to, but it's more relaxed/easier because work is close.

Except for driving to the damn office. Which I have to do AGAIN on Thursday for a meeting. I hate meetings. I am trying to think of something less productive than a meeting and coming up short.

But I already have some new enrollments. At this point I doubt it has less to do with the program I'm running than the fact that people need day care, but that's okay. Happy people are happy people and word gets out.

I broke out the cups today. I bought 500 of them at the local Sprawlmart. I may be reimbursed, may not. It doesn't really matter, I still wanted them for the program. Happy kids make my job easier.

I plan to stay an extra 15 minutes every morning and do a little bit of tossing and cleaning. I am hoping that will be enough to get things in some sort of shape.

I am feeling really swamped and pressured, but I don't feel like anyone hates me and (aside from someone ripping off my damn doormat) people have been pretty helpful.

And lookit that... it's only 8:15 so I will have time to color before bed!

Working on one of my sweary pictures.

Archeology

It's been an interesting week.

The site has been neglected for a really long time. The tops of the carts (all two of them, both unsuited for their purposes but we're stuck with them for now at least) were covered with a nice layer of grime. I'm digging through archeological layers in the main room, in the back room, on the tops of surfaces and Oh.My.GOD... the bulletin board. My main bulletin board looked like crap. Construction paper clouds and a ton of information that doesn't need to be posted. Takes up space and keeps it from being used for something a little more eye-catching. I decided to take down what was there on Friday and replace it.

Apparently no one else has ever thought of that concept. Replace, yes. But take down what was already there? What an odd concept!

There were TWELVE layers of paper. And approximately eight thousand staples. Many of the layers weren't bulletin board paper at all but were made up of squares of construction paper instead. Someone who really, really loved staples, or a series of people who loved staples, stapled the holy fuck out of all those pieces of paper. And every little embellishment underneath.

Colin eagerly volunteered to help me put the paper in a box and dispose of it. I had to tell him no, it wasn't safe. The back of the stuff I pulled down was studded every two inches with eight or nine or 29 staples. I scratched my hand. Immediately it swelled up and started itching horribly. I punctured my little finger near the edge of the nail, and that's all swollen and red today, too.

Because it was my first week and I was exhausted, of course Billy was picked up late. His dad was inclined to just stay all evening, talking to his son about what he was doing here, what was going on there... so I pulled out the vacuum (lots of those damn staples ended up on the carpet) and said, "Hurry up Buddy, it's about to get noisy in here."

I didn't think it was rude since the parent had showed up late in the first place. But I didn't end up getting out of there until 6:30. My vacuum needs help. Wheels need replacing. It's falling apart, just like everything else.

I had to go out to the main office on Thursday. I told my manager (who is nice but really, really young and really, really inexperienced) that one of the carts is not school-legal and I'd like a different cart. That a school district employee had come in and told me that it's a tipping hazard. I don't think it *will* tip, I suppose it is a hazard if someone were to climb on it, but they're elementary aged kids, not toddlers. And I don't see that happening. When I told her what had been said, she cluelessly said, "Well, can you put the toys in the back room?"

::headdesk:::

NO! The toys are supposed to be out and accessible to the kids. They need to be allowed to make choices by looking at what's available and deciding what they want to do.

I haven't been provided with anything but ancient castoffs, really. No one has visited my site to see how things are going. No one has asked me if I need anything or how I'm faring.

If I did not have so many toys and so many ideas and so much experience of my own, I'd already have decided that maybe this isn't the place for me.

The main office is a madhouse. They just got the supply orders in for the beginning of the year, and there is NO space for stuff. None. It's crammed in every corner with beanbag chairs and boxes of things and toys and markers and LEGO and so many other things that I can't even begin to tell you what's there. I had paperwork to turn in, things to pick up, snacks to grab, questions to ask. The way things are set up means you go to six different people with six different processes. One person does your time sheet. All on paper, no automation. Another one gets you a shirt or two. Someone else tells you yay or nay on certain supplies. All this in a row of cubicles, some smallish offices, a tiny hallway and a basement room filled with food. It's not even controlled chaos, it's just regular chaos.

I'm not complaining... I am sure once I figure things out a little, I will just do what I always do, handle my own issues. Go in, take care of business, leave. Stay at my own site as much as possible and make it a good place for children.

But seriously. What I wanted was a new (or used, hell, at this point I am not particular) cart. But I don't think my manager is much of a manager. She may get better at it, but my guess is that she will take the experience of being a 'manager', add it to her resumé and move on. She isn't awful, and not hateful and willfully nasty like Fluffy. She's a nice person, she's just clueless.

The large cart I currently have is double sided, but it's pretty big. The room is awkward, bulletin boards in inconvenient locations, a sink for handwashing that effectively blocks about a four foot wide swath of space, a bumpy and slanted floor and exits in odd places. I have the double sided cart against a wall and only one side is accessible because of it. If I can figure out a way to place that cart, I can use both sides of it and will dispose of the tipping hazard cart myself. I'm just not sure I can manage it. I have to have the kids in my sight at all times.

I have learned from Dane... he's been there four years, this is his fifth... that there is another little store room around the corner that belongs to my program. I went and checked it out. There is indeed. So I can put the things I'm not using and not sure I should throw away into that room and clear out a little space in the crammed-full-of-crap storage area that's right off my main room.

It's going to take a great deal of effort to get things running the way I want them. I've done a lot already.

I knew that starting over would be a pain in the ass. But even with all the crazy, it beats the hell out of dealing with Fluffy and the Cavalcade.

I am tired.

Things are going well.
But I'm really tired, even though it's only going to be the third day of school on Friday.

I'll catch you up over the weekend.

I'm taking my stuff in gradually, the kids were really excited about the Hot Wheels tracks and stuff, but Billy wasn't clear on the concept of why we don't run the cars on the carpet.

"It wrecks the wheels, Buddy. Then they won't work on the tracks."

He ruined two cars in about fifteen minutes. Then I told him that if he can't take care of our stuff, he won't be allowed to use it. After that he seemed to get it.

He's not bratty or mean, though. Just small. And full of activity and energy and excitement. So my function is to get him to follow (most of) the rules and be safe.

We have done a few little activities, but this crowd isn't as artistic as my last one. They also have short attention spans. They don't stick with anything very long.

I may be noticing that more because there just aren't very many of them and our room is smaller than the cafeteria that my last program was based in.They're good kids, though. I had another new kid this morning. Next week three more. Working to make the place a destination.

I'm too sleepy to put words together and try to make sense of them tonight, though. Had to drive over to the office this morning, and although I got a nap, it was short and not that great.

So things are going well. I'm glad it's a short work week.

How are you doing?

Some kids

Where to start?

My new program is fairly small. There are a few reasons for that, one of them being that they've had five different people in the position over the last 18 months. There's been no continuity in care. Of course that does not enhance a program's reputation.

It's not that there's anything wrong with the school or the location, either. It's just that if you're working there, you're working alone. There aren't many kids. And instead of staying to build a program, as soon as a position opens up where the (most of them anyway) barely-past-teenage girls can go and be with their little friends and work, they apply for that position.

This morning was the first day of school. I did not have any kids in program, as their parents preferred to take them to school on the first day. I think that's great... when I had a child in school I felt the same way.

But they did stop by to say hello. About 8:15 there was a knock at the back door. When I opened it, the two boys who were standing outside with their mom came in. They took about four steps in and said, in unison, "Wow!" They were very excited to see new toys and a completely different arrangement for the room. Colin kept picking up new things and saying, "Hey! We never had this before! Hey! We never had this before!" So the new arrangement was a success, I think.

Some other parents came in with their daughter. Colette is a first grader, and was really, really excited about her Cars backpack. "I like cars and trucks and princesses," she told me as she walked around the room touching things. "That's why I have this backpack. I don't think any other girls will have this." I'm betting she was right.

On Tuesday while I was setting up, I was going to clean out the little refrigerator that's there, but when I opened it and saw how moldy it was, I decided I needed bleach. Brought that in this morning. I opened it to spray bleach, and when I pulled a little on the drip pan that's under the freezer section, pink gloppy moldy gelatin water slopped out all over the floor.

So the little twit who was at the site when school was out not only neglected to wipe the fridge out and leave the door OPEN all summer, she didn't even defrost it. Just unplugged it and left it sitting there.

I was pissed as hell. What kind of idiot does that????

Apparently that one.

So I didn't get the fridge done this morning. I had the bleach but no rags. So I showed up an hour early this afternoon to get the job done. What a fucking mess.

I got it all done. And threw away the rags. Not going to wash them in my washer, which would have been the only choice besides trashing them.

I let my manager know about it, but I'm also going to let the upper manager guy know. Mostly so it doesn't happen to anyone else.

I didn't get away unscathed, I got a tiny bit of bleach on my brand new company t shirt. I only have one I can wear, as the other one is half polyester and I need to return it to them since I can't wear it anyway.

I will have seven or eight kids after the Kindergarten starts next week.
My old program was pretty small at first, too. By the time I left it was a LOT bigger. I'm hoping to manage to do that again.

The kids I met today are nice kids. I have a little redheaded boy. He's a first grader. So he's busy and needs to be reminded about rules a bit. But he's not misbehaving, he's just little. I don't want to squash him, I just want him to be safe... "Dude, you're supposed to hang down from the monkey bars, not climb on the top of them." He gets down. And two minutes later, he's climbing up again. "I expect you to listen to me the first time I tell you something, Billy. What you're doing isn't safe and you're not going to be allowed to do that here."

The little girl (cars, trucks and princesses... love it) wasn't with me very long this afternoon, her mom came to get her early so they could go celebrate the first day of school with a frozen yogurt together.

So I asked the boys what they were interested in and gave them a choice of several different things I have here at home. They conferred briefly and decided that Hot Wheels would be fun. I won't be able to bring all my stuff in until I get a bunch of things cleared out of there, but I can bring a few things that will be fun for them.

Not many kids, but they're nice ones. As my old co-worker Sunshine has always said, they all love the same.

It's going to be an interesting school year.

Shit. I forgot 'before' photos.

It won't matter, really. I know the manager who hired me has photos on his phone because he showed them to me when he hired me.

But Lyssa and I went out there today and completely rearranged the place. It looks amazing. There's more to do, but it's a nicer place this evening than it was this morning.

I still have to clean out the moldy refrigerator and get the custodian to haul some chairs out and have them put somewhere else. They're taking up space. The back room is full of some good stuff, some stuff there's no way in hell I want to use and stuff that's already been used and should have been tossed. And until I have time to go through it, one box at a time, it's not going to be my place. If that makes sense.

I have to drive out to the main office every week on Thursday and turn in my time sheet as well as attendance documents. Not sure what else I have to turn in. I also have to check the supply room for stuff and get some more shirts to wear. I have to wear cotton, and one of the two they gave me is half polyester. Not going to work, I will get a rash.

So I hope to get some 'after' photos for you, but still no guarantees. We'll see.

Meanwhile, school starts for me on Wednesday the 7th.
Apparently we're supposed to check in daily both AM and PM with some other site and let them know we're there. Because these irresponsible people forget to show up. So my phone rang today and I was told that I should have checked in. I said, "But school hasn't started here yet." She was snotty, whoever she was. She said, "You need to check in!!"

I didn't bother, though.

Tomorrow, which is today as you read this, I will remember to check in. Which is a stupid waste of my time. But whatever.

Unless the mold monster gets me, I'll let you know how things go.

She's baa-aackk...

A little after 10 last night I got to hug my girl for the first time since June 8.
The airport is always an interesting place, so many people wandering around even in the middle of the night. I was surprised at the number of children I saw. School started today in my old district, but it started last week in a couple others. My own starts tomorrow.

Lyssa was originally supposed to be on a flight that got in around noon, but missed that first flight. They rescheduled her and didn't charge her anything extra.

I'm glad to have her home.

Today is set up day for me at my new program and I don't have time to say a whole lot. I'm sleepy, my eyes are all puffy and it's time to get in the shower.
I'll take some photos of my space if I can manage it, not sure if there's identifying information displayed, I haven't had a great deal of time to look around.

So that's the news. She's home. I'm sleepy. And now I'm zipping outa here.

Sweary Pictures

That's what I'm working on.

I promised a friend that I would draw her a few pictures to color, so my time is being occupied with that this evening. When I get them done, I will post them here. I will have to go get them copied before I color mine. It's fun so far, though.

I did domestic things today... took all the sheets and stuff off the bed,  flipped the mattress, washed ALL the bedding, mattress pad, blankets, comforter, afghan... the bed smells wonderful. I'm sure it will feel good when I crawl in about 20 minutes from now. Electric blanket is on, it was only 60 degrees here today. Gonna be a chilly night.

But I love this time of year. Warm during the day, need a jacket in the morning.

Usually we get at least one more week of hot weather in September right after school starts, but I'm liking the chill in the air.

I have a pile of things in the car that need to be brought in so we can go grocery shopping tomorrow. Stuff for my new job. Then, Lyssa comes home on Monday, so the car still needs to be empty so we can fit her and her suitcase in after we pick her up at the airport.

I don't have much exciting to report today, but that's actually good. It was such a relief to find out that this company might actually be a good fit after the meeting last night that I'm ready for 'not exciting'.

Lyssa has said that she will come with me on Tuesday to help me get things situated. I want the program space to look exciting and engaging. I don't have a lot of kids, but that doesn't make them any less deserving of a fun place to hang out before and after school, now does it?

So I'll be going through my boxes of crap before Tuesday morning. I plan to be at the school bright and early so I can get it done.

Meanwhile, back to my swears.
I'm working on one that says 'you and the horse you rode in on, asshole'.
So far, it's fun.

How are you doing?

Okay, I can do this...

It hasn't been a great beginning so far.
My site is old and musty and dusty and hasn't been taken care of very well.
It wasn't closed down properly, the refrigerator is full of mold (yay, I get to clean that up) and there is a whole cabinet full of half used cereal packages and assorted expired food that should have been tossed out at the end of the school year.

I get the feeling that there has been a series of babysitters rather than people who run programs out there.

It looks like an old church nursery. Old yucky carpet and dusty bulletin board that was probably last changed about the time Hoover was president.

I was out there on Wednesday and did some poking around, seeing what's there, what I can bring in to make it more fun, and DEAR GOD how to rearrange stuff. It's a squarish room and everything is lined up along the sides. Then, tables are arranged in the middle. It kinda looks like a classroom. A not very clean or well kept classroom.

On the good side, there are a ton of supplies. Paint and markers and paper and construction paper and crafty things. Quite a bit of storage.

I'm not thrilled with the space except I am pleased that it's a designated space, meaning I won't have to put everything away each day.

I learned that I will be first in the building every day.
Met with the custodian and got the alarm code and was shown how to work the alarm system.

I had to get a key card to get into the building.

Talked to a nice lady at the school district offices who told me that not only did I have to pay 59 bucks for a criminal background check, but I had to pay another 25 to get fingerprinted. Drove over to the district office, got the paperwork filled out, drove to the whole county-wide office and did the fingerprint thing, then back to the district office and was issued a badge/keycard with my face on it. It was a couple hours out of my day that I had not intended to spend driving around, but I'm glad I got it handled. Otherwise, I'd have shown up on the first day of school and been unable to get into the building. Not a good thing.

All the costs will be reimbursed. Things I buy for my program will be reimbursed. They will pay my mileage to go from the school to the office!!

I had to attend a meeting/training thing this evening, it didn't get over until 9:30. Meaning I didn't get home until 10. I will have to make the drive once a week on Thursdays for various paperwork and other things.

But after going to the meeting I feel a LOT better about things. It was starting to feel like I was just being tossed into a location without any support. I was already wondering if I had made a bad move.

I think things will be okay. It's a small program to start with, but three of my kids are K age kids, so that's a good thing. They can grow along with my program, right?

School starts on Wednesday. I'll be at my site early on Tuesday making sure I get things cleaned up and looking new for the kids who are starting school. My goal is to make it a place that looks completely different for them.

New beginnings.
Woohoo.