I wait near the doors of the gym for my kids after school. Just down the hallway is the door into my program. When all my kids have been dropped off with me, we go as a group to our area.
Billy came down the stairs with his teacher Monday afternoon. She was gently holding his arm with one hand and carrying a piece of crumpled paper with the other.
She handed me the paper and said to me, "I'd like you to give this to Billy's mom and tell her that he ruined it and then smashed it all up."
To Billy she said sternly, "We don't treat our work this way."
He looked temporarily chastised. Then she turned her back and left with the rest of the class and he quit worrying about it. I asked him as we were walking back to our program area, "What happened, Buddy? You just didn't like the way it was turning out?"
"Yeah, it was stupid. I made another one and I was putting this one in recycle. But then I got in trouble for crunching it all up."
Billy is six. And reading very well. He was reading one of my books about volcanoes today and telling me about the stuff that gets into the atmosphere and how lava is really, really hot.
The 'work' his teacher gave me had a cartoon drawing of a guy with a big letter 'J' on his shirt. Mr.J who likes to Jump.
Billy isn't interested in learning phonics. He really doesn't need to.
But he's in a combined k/1st grade class because he 'failed' at learning to sit still in class last year. So he's not technically being held back, except of course he *is* because he can't move on until he masters important things like sitting still and doing phonics.
So I did give it to his mom. We discussed what we do when we don't like the work we do. I said that I crumple up a lot of my little drawings and toss them in the recycling. She laughed a little and said that she does, too. And then turned to him and said, "Put away the Bionicles, little dude, time to go."
I just don't understand the pathological need for control that teacher demonstrated. It seems to me that since he did the project a second time and produced one that she was happy with that what he did with the first 'failure' wasn't important. Why not crumple it and toss it in the bin?
Of course I can't say anything about it to the teacher.
I gave it to his mom as requested.
But I don't understand why it was such a big deal.
I don't see the big deal either? (unless crumpling takes up more room, or something else earth shattering)
ReplyDeleteI don't understand it at all.
DeleteExcept it's a control issue.
I don't know the teacher, I don't know the circumstances, but it just seemed a little overbearing to me.
Ditto to what Ms. A said. When I was in 1st grade in Catholic school, during recess one day I went over to the church and lit a couple votive candles to remember a pair of dead relatives. I had no idea I was supposed to pay for them, so when a nun came over and "caught" me, she literally dragged me to the principal's office so I could get my 'come-uppnce', I was scared to death. Some nuns were truly horrible. I guess some teachers are as well.
ReplyDeleteHow awful for the little girl you were.
DeleteWas the principal kind to you at least?
And yeah, some adults in positions of authority over children aren't very nice. It makes me sad. For all the bluster of some kids, they're very fragile. I see it as almost a sacred thing to treat them with care. Their little hearts need nurturing.
Oh the kids can be hurt so easily. I know they have to have discipline to fit in, learn. But? My husband was a teacher so I heard too many stories
ReplyDeleteThey have to be respected and have things explained to them. When you have a big bunch of people, adults, kids, whatever... explain why we do ____ or we don't _____. But holding his arm, although gently, and giving him no explanation for why he should not crumple up his trash before discarding it? I don't understand.
DeleteMy dad taught for 27 years. Some of his methods were things I strongly disagreed with, although I know he loved the kids. I try so hard to take care of their feelings. I think if all of us (adults who deal with kids) would say to ourselves, "If he remembers this moment the rest of his life, will I be okay with how I handled it?" Also, a child who is treated with compassion most of the time will almost always grow up compassionate.
this is about control and a bit of bullying to me.how is that helping him? This "teacher" should talk to him, help him, not chastise. I am so thankful i grew up in a different era where teachers didn't do this nonsense. When Amanda (step daughter ) was in school it was so very different but then, she's probably your age (36)so you know that. Great work Ami.
ReplyDeleteYeah, I look young online. :)
DeleteI'm going to be 56 in a couple months.
And my teachers were mostly really wonderful people. I did have a couple that made me feel bad more often than not, one when I was in middle school. I said (in my head) drop dead drop dead drop dead so many times. He was just a mean person.
One day about 20 years later he was out on a walk and just dropped dead.