It's the end of the year as we know it...

So Caden, James and Will have been getting into all sorts of trouble in program.
It's hard to say who started it, but the three of them together aren't a good idea. They energize each other. They egg each other on to more shenanigans every damn day. I've run out of things to say. They're not getting it. I'm not allowed to duct tape them to the wall, or at least I don't think I am, so that's out.

James, Hayden, and their mom were walking toward the school building Wednesday morning as I was leaving, and Mom saw me. She told the boys, "Head for school, I want to talk to Miss Susan for a moment."
(No, I don't like being called 'Miss' Susan, I prefer the kids just call me Susan, but I never correct anyone. Haha, I've answered to worse.)

Mom informed me that as they were pulling up to their tee ball game last night, James jumped out of the car and said loudly, "Let's go kick some ass!"

Thinking she hadn't heard him correctly, she said, "What?"

He repeated it.

She asked him where he had heard that particular phrase.
I know, you're thinking Caden. I admit it, I was thinking the same thing.

But no. It was Will.
Cute little Kindergarten Will, he of the blue eyes and adorable smile.

I told her that I'd been addressing some language issues in program, and that I've been practicing some selective separation of three boys. She knew which ones.

James is a smartass. It's mostly funny, and he's a cute kid. Although it's a pain in the butt, he has no malice. He's just quick. He hasn't learned when it might be better to keep his mouth closed, a skill that I haven't completely mastered myself, so it's not like I can blame him for it.

James has learned plenty from Caden, too. And Will is always up for any rule breaking the other two want. Often, he's the one who starts whatever it is.

They go around every afternoon in a little cluster and break every damn rule we have. Repeatedly. I can't seem to get their attention. They're not listening to me.

So there was a big talk Wednesday, just Sarah (haha) and the three boys.
We went alllll the way to the other end of the room so that no one else would be listening in, except of course the other kids all knew what we were discussing.

We discussed talking about poop/farts/vomit/blood and guts at the snack table. They also like to talk about video games and killing and slashing and blowing people up.

I am not trying to shame them. Or damage them. I don't want them to start thinking that they're being 'bad', either. I don't ever tell them, for example, "That's a bad word."

I have explained so many times that some topics and words are just not appropriate in our program. That we need to keep those kinds of words and ideas to ourselves. That what you say in private or when you're not at school is your business, but, "When you're here, with me, you need to keep things appropriate."

I remind them of the Mom test. Sometimes we call it the principal test. "If your mom/Mr. Smith were standing here, would you have said that?"

Of course the answer is always no, so then I remind them that if it's not okay in front of Mom or the principal, it's probably not a good idea to say it.

"We certainly don't want to hear it, guys. Keep it to yourself, please. And you already know it's inappropriate, too. We have a mixed group of people, and none of them need to hear you being gross or talking about inappropriate things at the table. If you're not able to keep those words to yourselves, then you will be eating alone, one at a time, at the table over there." I pointed to the table at the furthest end of the room.

They looked at each other. Elbowed their friends. James smiled. Will did, too.
I explained to them that it's not funny. That we were having a serious conversation about the things that have been going on.

"You guys aren't listening to me. I spend a LOT of my time every afternoon saying things like, "We don't do that here. There is no need for you to have your hands on another person. We don't do that here. You three keep getting into trouble for inappropriate language, for unsafe behaviors on the playground, in the cafeteria, and I spend a LOT of time telling you about rules you already know. How many times should I have to remind you that you should not have your hands on another person?"

"Five?" James guessed.
"Three," Will said, firmly.
Caden looked down at his lap and said sheepishly, "Zero."

"And that's the right answer. Zero. You guys have been with me all year. We have gone over the rules so many times. I don't have a lot of them, you know. All I ask is for you guys to be respectful to each other and all the other kids here. And that you're behaving safely. Things like jumping off the play structure, which is against school rules, hitting each other, using inappropriate language or talking about things that aren't good conversation for the whole group at the snack table just should not be happening at this point. I have talked to you enough. So here's what we're going to do. The next one of you to break the big safety rules or say things that aren't okay here will be playing alone for the rest of that afternoon. I'm simply not going to put up with it any more. It's not fair to the rest of the kids, they all understand and follow the rules. And it's not fair to me, either. I shouldn't have to waste my time telling you things you know."

So we went outside to play. The three boys were playing some version of Minecraft, and James ran up behind Will and tagged his shoulder. With two fingers. Very light touch, just part of the game.

Will turned around and punched James in the eye. Knocked him on his ass.

Gahhhhhhhhh. I made him come sit next to me on the bench and said, "Since you decided to hit someone, you're going to be the first one to play alone for the rest of the day."

He started to snivel a bit. "But I don't wannnnnt toooooooooo!" he cried.

"Well, I'm sorry. You chose to hit James. Unacceptable. Dude. We just covered all this not 10 minutes ago."

Then he said, "I'm SO STUPID!!!"
He began slapping himself, banging his head on the bench and pinching his own arm. Hard.

I said mildly, "Will, how does this help? You made a mistake. You're allowed to do that. We all make them. I make mistakes every day. Hurting yourself isn't going to fix the situation. Making a better choice next time is the best thing you can do."

It took a couple minutes for him to calm himself. We sat together on the bench until it was time to go in. I didn't berate him. We just talked about being kind to our friends.

I wish I could say that was enough.

I'll try to explain today's activities next time I manage to write.
::sigh::

I'm just a babysitter. Right?