Get Off My Lawn!!

What's the equivalent of a curmudgeon for women? And no, it's not 'bitch'.
Although I don't really have a problem with that label, either.

On Thursday morning I was running around trying to get ready for work. I was running just on time, no time for extra shit. And bangbangbang on the other door. The one we don't use. Which always means it's someone I don't want at my house.

I opened the other door. I was obscured from their view by the vegetation between doors. Said irritably, "Can I help you with something?"

And they stepped around the flowers and bushes toward me. That's when I saw their Bibles and Watchtower magazines.

"Oh. Never mind. I'm not interested." I said. "And next time don't ignore my fucking signs." SLAMMED the security door, slammed the lock and the deadbolt. Slammed the inner door and shot the other deadbolt.

I say all the time that I have no wish to deprive anyone of their sincerely held religious beliefs provided those beliefs do not cause anyone harm in any form. I don't need to convert them to my way of thinking. I realize their religion brings them serenity and confidence. That's great. Go, them.

But I consider it a form of harm (it makes my ass hurt) for them to show up at my door and try to proselytize. The doors are clearly marked with no soliciting signs, too. It's just rude to knock on the door when you know you're not wanted there.

I have commented to religious people before that they've ignored my sign and they say (righteously...hahaha) 'We aren't selling anything.'

Oh yes, you are. And I ain't buyin'.

So I ordered these. One for each door. There is no excuse to ignore it as far as I'm concerned. And my response to the asswipe who knocks on the door after seeing this sign will probably be more forceful than the last one.

I had to stop at the grocery store the other day. I was coming out of an aisle and turning left. There was a woman to my left coming toward me in the middle of an extra wide aisle with a shopping cart full of foliage. To avoid making her stop for me, I just kept going straight on the left, thinking I'd pass her and then move to the right.

She steered her cart toward me and smacked into my cart! Said, "You're on the wrong side of the road." And I told her, "Fuck you." I wish now that I'd made a big issue of it, yelling and ranting and scaring her half to death in the process. She made an affronted face and scampered off behind her cart full of grass and other shit. Stupid cow. She probably ate all that grass.

It pisses me off when people have to be assholes just.. because. I stayed over to the left to avoid getting in her way.

I dislike being bothered at home. It used to not bother me to be interrupted at home. To have people dropping in. Part of it is that the house is usually not ready for company. When we had kids at home, I used to say some variation of 'excuse the mess but we live here.' Now it's just us and things aren't better. If anything, they're worse because I am always doing something that's more important to me than the housework.

In addition, Eric grew up in some.. interesting circumstances. And he had trust issues way back in the beginning stages of our relationship. His home is the one place he can go to get away from everyone/everything and I jealously guard that privacy for him. It's become very important to me to preserve the house/haven and make it a place just for us.

So get off my lawn.
Unless you called me first and warned me that you were stopping by.
My friends all know this. And respect it. So when someone knocks on the wrong door, I always know they're not welcome. If that means I'm a curmudgeon, well, I'm okay with that.