There's a slight but very real chance my hubby may be a little nutty.

With no offense intended to those of you who are also a little nutty. There's nothing wrong with being nutty, you understand.

Just sayin'.

So we have this piece of white laminated stuff hanging on the side of the cabinet in the laundry room. There's a dry erase marker on the top of the cabinet, and the way it's supposed to work is that we write it on the list when one of us runs out of something, or one notices that we need to pick something up on the next grocery run.

That's how it's supposed to work. Sometimes it actually does. But you know what I hate? I hate transferring the list to a piece of paper, erasing the white sheet, leaving, doing an hour and a half of grocery shopping, hauling home a boatload of groceries and FINDING ITEMS ON THE DAMN LIST AGAIN!! Sorry, I drifted into the land of rant there... if you lived at my house, you would have already tuned out since that rant has been used about 28 times this year alone.

I realized today that we're out of plastic wrap (my fault, I used the last of the really crummy stuff I paid extra for last time it and didn't put it on the list.) So I wrote on our list 'some plastic wrap that actually works and isn't just some shit brand.'

I came home to find the rest of the white space taken up.

First, someone wrote 'asswipe', which I think means we're out or soon to run out of toilet paper. As of this writing, I have not checked.

The rest of the board was evidently just begging to be used for hubby's creative writing efforts.

Since I've had more experience deciphering his handwriting, I will type out what he wrote.

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But wait! Call within the next 15 minutes and receive three revolutionary SPACE BAGS!
Guaranteed to temporarily compress some of your clothes, shortly before failing! There's more! Order 2 and receive a sphincter massage therapy ring. Simply insert massage therapy ring into your sphincter and enjoy hours of digit free sphincter massage. Call now!! Operators are....
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Edited to add... Matt just informed me that the whole Space Bags 'guaranteed to compress some of your clothes shortly before failing!' was his contribution. The 'asswipe' came from Alyssa, and Eric did the rest.
I could try to manufacture some fake embarrassment or something, but all I can do is laugh.