Recruiting Kohnheads

Have you read Punished By Rewards?

It was published in 1993, I think. 
Let me go look that up for ya.
Yes, first printing in 1993. 

I have to say that I did not give rewards and trinkets to kids before I read this book, but after reading it, there was no way in hell I was going to do that to any child in my care.

Prizes for being quiet. For lining up 'correctly'. For remembering to hang up their coats. For being nice to someone else. Caught being good is the phrase. First, kids *are* good. There's no catching them doing it, it's what they are. When they make mistakes, does that mean they're not being good? That's what we're implying.

Little prizes for being part of the cleanup effort when they're the ones who made the mess in the first place? Yeah, no. 

On the occasions when a child who doesn't know me very well asks, "What do I get?" at the end of cleanup time, I say, "You get to participate in our activities and help put things away when we're finished."

One of the problems is that so many people don't know the differences between compliance, motivation and manipulation. 
They think that doing shit like 'secret scrap' is a motivator and is a good idea for dealing with children.

Have you ever seen anyone do this to a group of kids?

The adult announces at clean up, "There is a secret item (or scrap) and whoever picks it up will win a PRIZE!!!"

They scramble at first. Then they start to fall apart a little. Every 10 seconds or so, another child will approach the adult and ask breathlessly, "Has the secret scrap been picked up yet?"

Now how does the adult answer that? They can't say yes, even if it has been picked up. (If they even bothered to note an item in their mind, that is. A lot of them don't bother, just arbitrarily say after everything is done, "Zippy got the secret scrap today!!") and hand Zippy some little trinket that usually gets left behind because it's lame and boring and useless.

The answer to the 'is it picked up' question must always be, "Not yet."

If one answers yes, then how are they going to continue to manipulate and condescend to children during clean up  or any other time?

Their only goal is compliance. 
To make the lives of adults simpler by "motivating" kids. 
What a bunch of horseshit. 
Let's call it what it is. 
Manipulation. 

Secret scrap is another time I'd ask the adult, "Is this something you're doing for the kids or something you're doing to them? It isn't beneficial to the child to make them comply. It *is* beneficial for them to understand that they're an important part of our group and that all of us are better when we work together to accomplish our tasks."

The thing is, our lifetime conditioning is hard to escape. 
People do this shit because this shit was done to them.

I had never been a reward system person, but until I read Alfie Kohn's book, I saw it as relatively harmless. Now I don't. Now I see it as damaging, condescending, manipulative, overbearing and rude. It pits kids against each other, too. "Look at what a wonderful job Lisa did cleaning the art area!" translates to "Lisa is better than the rest of you at cleaning the art area." And in another this shit was done to me moment, who doesn't remember the teacher's pet? And the not-always-covert bullying that happened to the pet when the teacher wasn't watching.

We should not be setting kids apart in that way.

I would love to think the idea of simple respect for our young humans would preclude people from behaving this way. I would love to be the reason at least one or two or five people stop doing these things to children because of something I said or a podcast or book or essay I introduced them to.

Alfie Kohn is now doing podcasts. In his very first one, he does a role play and speaks as a principal would speak at a back to school night in a perfect world. Well worth the time I spent listening.

A bonus to the podcast format is that, um, how do I say this diplomatically?

Sometimes, stereotypes exist for a reason. I've mentioned before that I've seen my IQ visibly drop about 15 points in someone's perception when I tell them what I do for a living. 
It's annoying, but I can't control what other people think of me. 

The public generally views after school care as babysitting and the adults who do the work as babysitters. 

Quite often, the adults who are working in the programs think of it that way, too. 
You don't have to be brilliant or well-read to do the job, but it helps to at least read a book!

I can say that I have encountered more than one person who doesn't read, research, analyze or really care much about the why of what they do in program, only the what. 

What do I want them to do and how can I make them do it?
How can I make them 'be good'? 

Those people aren't going to read about the job. 
They're not going to live and breathe to constantly improve, either. 

Having a podcast to listen to is something that can be shared in a training session or two and a company that operates on the edge of budget constraints and can't afford to have someone like Alfie Kohn come talk to them can still share valuable information in that way. I'm already planning to share the links with our trainer. 

This is important to me. I feel that a token economy may be the biggest thing we get wrong when dealing with our program kids.

Had a little boy in my group years and years ago who melted down because another child was breaking the rules on the swings. We're talking serious meltdown here, because (and I quote) "HE'S DOING IT WRONG!!"

I'm not quite melting down, but when I hear about the prizes being ordered and people are chatting about 'managing children to obtain compliance' I want to say it to them. "YOU'RE DOING IT WRONG!"

What do you think? Should rewards and tickets and trinkets be a thing that we, as day care providers inflict on children?

Or could we be a little more intentional? 
Be like Alfie.
Be a Kohnhead. 
::snort::