Website Woes

In the days before my second child came along, I was a spider killer.
See one? Squish it!

But Lyssa changed all that.
She's a person with a kind heart. She cares about animals and insects and plants.. every living creature.

On multiple occasions I've seen her cross a parking lot to fish a worm out of a puddle and relocate it, for example.

Because she made me look at things differently, I no longer felt good about killing a creature that was merely looking for dinner.

I am (usually) not a spider meal, they seem to prefer smaller critters.

We had a spider web behind the dishwasher a few years ago. Every morning when I looked at it, there were several ant carcasses under the web.
Guess that was the spider's way of paying the rent. Ha.

You know why aardvarks don't get sick, right?
They're full of little ant bodies. That's today's clean joke.

I relocate spiders now.
I want them to build their websites somewhere else.

If I see one and I'm not dressed for the day yet or it's the middle of the night, I upend a clear glass yogurt jar over the trespasser and leave it until I either put some clothes on or get up for the day.

Not about to step out on my front porch in a big t shirt and nothin' else.
No one needs to see that. It's probably illegal in some states and if it isn't, it should be.

When I'm ready to help the spider move to a new home, I slide an index card carefully under the jar and pick up my eight legged freak friend and dump it off the front porch into the vegetation.

And I've taken my spider show on the road, so to speak.
We don't kill things where I work, either. I've spent a good deal of time explaining to various groups of children in the last 19 years that spiders are not 'poisonous' and that only a very few of them are venomous. I explain the difference, too. Sneaking in a science lesson is always a good idea.

So the Monday was the first time we've seen a spider in our space at the school.
The spider's appearance coincided with our visit from the state daycare license guy, who was sitting on a bench way off in the corner, observing the program and writing.

When I heard one of the kids freak out, "SPIDER!!!" I grabbed a cup from the snack box and while on the way across the room, said, "Don't kill it! It's just looking for lunch!"

I went to the scene of the crime and put the upside down cup over the trespasser, fielding questions from the group about why and what was I going to do with it and, "This one time I saw the BIGGEST SPIDER!"

One of them asked, "But what if it bites you?"
"I am not spider food, " I told her. "The only reason this spider would bite me is if I hurt it. Maybe squash it with my hand or do some other mean thing that I would never do. Spiders eat a LOT of bugs. They're not interested in us, bugs taste better to them."

So I left the cup over the spider and finished the check in process, which involves writing down each child's name and the time they show up on two different pieces of paper, putting a check mark next to their name on a third form and giving each one a fluorescent green amusement park style bracelet and reminding them to go wash, "Yes, even if you're not having a snack. We wash after school every day, remember?"

After all that was finished and the kids were officially snacking, I got a piece of cardboard, slid it under the cup and picked the intruder up.

My youngest little guy was jumping up and down next to me, he wanted to see the spider. I gently shook the cup so the spider was sure to be at the bottom and not frighten him and moved the cardboard slightly aside for him to look.

That element of surprise is the reason I use a clear jar at home, by the way. But glass containers in day care aren't such a great idea.

He peeked into the cup, was suitably impressed. He asked if he could watch me let it go. I told him, "Yes, come stand by this window and you can see him scamper off to build a website somewhere else."

There was a mad rush, 10 of the 14 kids in the group ran to the window to watch me go out and dump the critter. So I took the cardboard off the cup and tilted the cup toward the window so they could all get a good look at it and let it go in the shrubs along the side.

The licensing guy had commentary about it, too. He loved that I let the kids see the spider, that we didn't kill it and that I just left it on the floor under the cup until I'd finished the necessary paperwork.

So then I got up yesterday morning about 5 to pee. I saw a pretty large spider on the floor in the kitchen. So I got the jar from the top of the dishwasher and carefully sneaked up on the spider. If you go stomping toward them and make the floor shake, they run. As they should.

After putting the jar over him (it?) I used the bathroom, washed my hands, grabbed a long sweatshirt so I wouldn't freeze to death on the front porch and went back to slide that piece of cardboard under the jar. I found that my knees were not awake yet, though.

I think I'm a guy... I wake up stiff in the morning.

I went in and woke Eric up and told him my spider story. He'd been stirring anyway, he's notoriously an early riser (weirdo) and doesn't mind being awakened to save my life. Haha, remember the possum(s)?

He came into the kitchen while I was unlocking the front door so he could dump Mr Arachnid over the side of the porch. He picked up the jar after sliding the cardboard under, peered owlishly at it and said, "Are you sure this is even a spider?"

Neither one of us were wearing glasses. I was all set to be embarrassed, but I grabbed my reading glasses and it was a spider.

It was just already dead, which probably explains Pixel and the 2 AM zoomies we heard. She likes to play with spiders and usually they don't survive her games.

It's that time of year. Found a beautiful wolf spider in our cafeteria this afternoon while I was alone, setting up program. He wasn't happy about being trapped in the cup, I could hear his legs brushing around the inside. I took him out to the same general location as the one I dumped the other day.

I've taught the same lesson to sooo many groups of kids.
It's always something like, "Hey, what if you were sitting in a restaurant waiting for your favorite dinner and some big giant came along and stepped on you and squashed you? I don't think it's fair to do that to someone just looking for lunch."

The kids do understand it. They teach it to other kids, I've seen it happen.

I wonder how many of them have continued to catch and release critters?
Hope it's a large percentage.