I did it.

Woke up at 3:35 this morning. Tried to go back to sleep for an hour or so, finally got up and showered. Considered what I want to accomplish over the next two weeks.

I said, "Self, you really should do laundry. You should not be going anywhere. You have all these days stretching out before you and you always feel bad when you don't get everything done. Or ANYTHING done."

But then I looked at the clock. I had to go to the grocery store and get some juice for Eric, we'd forgotten it on Saturday when we did the shopping. It was 8:30 AM. Which meant I could go to the store, grab the juice, get back in my car and be sitting out front at Goodwill when they open.

To the uninitiated, that might not seem like a big deal, but to a person who really dislikes noise, crowds and busy-ness in retail establishments, it's huge. Get in when it opens, hit the spots I always go for and be out before 9:30.

I'm considering driving to another one tomorrow morning to repeat the experience, actually. I didn't buy anything, but the possibility was there.

Goodwill is like a freshman senator. Full of exciting possibilities. Also full of crap. You have to time it right. And it can still go either way.

I got back into my car and considered whether to make a left or a right turn out of the parking lot. A right turn would send me toward home. A left turn... well.
I've been considering that left turn for about 17 months and been unable to do it.

Oh, I tried it a couple times.
Got about halfway there and couldn't finish the journey.

Today I did.
I drove out to the little country school where I invested seven years of my heart and soul into my program.

Those people out there were like family. My job was my second home. And I had to walk away from it. I know how silly it sounds to be that invested in a J.O.B.
But it's who/how I am. 100%.

I am still angry, but not the fury I had. I still hate that stupid asshole who ruined my job for me, but not in an immediate way. She's not on my mind all the time and what happened isn't in front of me all the time, either. Time has smoothed things over for me a little.

So I managed the journey. It's a different school district than the one I work in, and they're having classes through Tuesday this week. So they're in session and we're not. Perfect timing.

I only saw the two office ladies and the principal. All of them were really happy to see me. I got hugs and exclamations of surprise and I was really glad I'd managed to get out there. They told me that I am, "Very, very missed. Things are absolutely not the same in that program without you. They really made a mistake in allowing you to go."

I told them that I've ended up in a good place. That I am not being micromanaged, that I'm being treated with respect by the school and families and that even though I really miss the school and the people, it was the right decision for me to make.

Debby asked me with a little twinkle, "So, did you forgive and forget, then?"

You know the answer to that one, right?
"I'm not Jesus and I don't have Alzheimer's."

They all laughed. I laughed along with them. They know what I think about Fluffy and her bunch of twats.

I was okay. I didn't cry. I didn't have a hard time pulling into the parking lot. I had been expecting it, but it didn't happen.

And I don't know why, really, but it improved my outlook on life for the rest of the day. I feel... better.

The only thing left to do is to run into Fluffy sometime.
I'll need a bigger car for that, though.