Baby it's cold outside...

Cracks me up to listen to the local news broadcasts.
ARMAGEDDON!!!

Yeah, and armageddon sick of it.

They make big graphics to splash across the screen as they interrupt whatever's on to bring you the WEATHER!! LIVE!!!

They've bundled up some poor schmuck in Columbia sportswear splattered indiscriminately with the news station logo and then sent them out in the news van to whatever location seems most photogenic.

Said schmuck waits for the hand off from the studio, looks earnestly into the camera, then leans down with a brave-yes-it's-cold-but-nothing-stands-between-me-and-the-big-story smile, scoops up a little snow/ice mix and says something like, "LOOK AT ALL THIS WHITE STUFF!! It's COLD! IT'S WET! IT'S FROOOOZENNNNN!!!! And here," s/he slides a boot-clad foot, "You can SEE how slick it is!!! Brrrrr!!!"

Always makes me think of this.

What really happened is this. We had a week of cold, cold wind. Then, a skiff of snow. I'm talking barely enough to turn the ground white. Because the ground was cold, the snow stuck. Then, we got some rain. It was already cold out. So it froze.

Recipe for disaster here in manic,pass-the-pale-ale-and-don't-spill-it-on-my-birkenstocks Portland, I'm afraid.

Eric and I were from Colorado originally. We've both lived other places, but we know how to drive in snow and ice.

It's different in Western Oregon. Not only is the road surface different because it's not a bunch of packed snow, but many of the other people on the road have no clue how to drive in snow and ice.

To be fair, it is incredibly slick and if you don't have a really good reason to go out, you probably shouldn't. Because there will be people on the road who did not stock up before the weather changed and they're intent on getting to the grocery store. Faces determined, gripping the steering wheel with white knuckles, they run stop lights, slide all over the place and scare the hell out of the rest of us.

Or in the case of this guy, just drove down a street and couldn't negotiate a curve...

Photo from Multnomah County Sheriff's Dept Website

It's icy and scary out there.

Our school district, usually the last one to call off school when the conditions are bad, was one of the first last night. I was relieved.

The way it usually works is that I look out the window at bedtime. I say, "It is not going to melt before morning. Why the hell don't they call it now?"

Then, I go to bed. The alarm goes off at 5AM, I get up and look out the window again. It hasn't melted. The streets are still shining with ice. My car is in a crystalline cocoon. I look at news websites, school district website. Every district around us, including the one *I* live in has closed for the day or chosen to start on a 2 hour delay. But the district I work in? Nothing. I do that for about fifteen minutes, refreshing websites and hoping Mr. Dithers the superintendent in our district has managed to make a decision. Then, I must get into the shower so I can be ready for work on time.

Shower. Dry my hair. Get dressed. I'm wide awake now. Check the websites again and school has been canceled. Then I scream, "GAHHHHHHHH you stupid assholes!!! WHY the FUCK didn't you call it last night???? Gaaaaahhhh you fucking morons!!!"

Repeat at least once more during the winter.

This time they called it at 6:40 last night.
Ahh. A bonus day.

One of us didn't get the message, though. I'm not sure if her power was out or she didn't think to check, but I got a text this morning at 5:30 wanting to know what time we are supposed to report to work. I should actually say my phone got the text, as I put it on alarm only when it's bedtime. (Eric has an emergency phone next to the bed if close friends or family need to call.)

She texted me a couple minutes later saying that she had learned that school was closed for the day.

So I am defrosting something for dinner, sitting over the heater and considering what I would like to do with my bonus day. Art, probably. Or something crafty.

How are things in your neighborhood?