What's new?

It always surprises me to see how many people think the new year means they will suddenly be able to break the conditioning of a lifetime and miraculously be able to eat right. Or exercise. Or get that PhD. Or whatever.

People aren't happy with their performance *as* people, I think.
It's logical to set a date and decide that one is going to change their own universe, but it seems to me like doing it on January 1st is almost asking to be disappointed.
And of course many people set the bar impossibly high for themselves. Like this.. "I will lose 100 lbs in the next six months." "I will stop drinking on New Year's Eve!" "I will stop smoking."

So I don't do resolutions.
I make smaller changes at odd times.

I started eating better in April of 2014. I don't know how much weight I have lost. Best guess is between 40 and 50 lbs, with quite a bit to go. Friends and family have started to really notice, and I have noticed, too.

I won't step on a scale, though. I have a lot of sound reasons for my refusal to do so. So far, I've managed to avoid sharing what I weigh with most of the world.

Here's what happens when I get on a scale.
If I have lost a little weight, I feel justified in eating that extra cookie.
Or some extra this. Or that.

If I haven't lost anything and I've been 'good' (sometime we'll explore good and bad with relation to food... but not tonight) I get all pissed off and say something along the lines of, "Well fuck it then. Why even bother??"

The past month or month and a half, I haven't changed my eating or caloric intake, although I'm not counting calories I do have a general idea of what I'm consuming.
And I haven't lost anything that I notice. Wearing the same clothing. Etc.

It would be easy during those times to get on a scale and have a 'why bother because nothing is happening anyway' attitude.

And I don't care about that number, either. When I am the size and shape I wish to be, then I will be finished trying to lose weight.

Until then, no. No scales.
Drives 'em crazy at the doctor's office.

Last time it came up, the winsome waif with her cute little lavender stethoscope and color coordinated scrubs worked really hard to get me on that scale.

I was pretty proud of all the ways I said no without swearing and without kicking her in one of her little toothpick ankles. I have to give her credit, she really did try. Several times. Hinted that she *needed* to know, then said it was really important for me. Suggested in a confidential tone that I'd really be helping her, personally.

When I told her, "Unless you can provide a more compelling reason for me to get on that scale than those I have for staying off, the answer is no," she was only temporarily taken aback. She pasted that brave smile right back on after a so-brief-it-almost-wasn't-an-absence, absence.

She even said, "Well what if you stand on it this way?" She demonstrated. Climbed on the scale and faced away from the numbers. "Then, I could just write it down and not tell you!" Her attitude was cheery and more than a little condescending, although I don't think the condescension was intentional.

I gave her one of my stock answers. "Unless you're planning general anesthesia right now, no. And if you are, we definitely need to talk about more than my weight."

I won. Didn't get on the scale.

At the end of the appointment, my doctor handed me two pieces of paper, stapled together to tell me of her instructions. Of course the ones we'd just discussed. Standard procedure at the large, may-as-well-be-doc-in-a-box medical group practice she's now a part of.

At the top of the page were all my vital statistics, height, blood pressure, temperature. And the comment 'weight needed to calculate BMI'.

So now I have another thing to add to my list of "no, I will *not* get on the scale!" reasons. If I'd done what Winsome suggested, get on the scale and don't look, that number would have been handed to me in black and white at the end of my visit, completely defeating the purpose.

I'm waiting for them to say that they won't treat me if I won't get on the scale.
It will be interesting to just turn and walk out. Not that I want to. But I will.

Oh, I'm sorry, we were discussing resolutions and why I don't do them.

My plans for 2015 involve being a little better organized.
I have some letters to write and send to various people involved in the "care" of my injuries at work.
I plan a great purge of 'stuff' from my heart and my home. Will it happen fast? No. In one swell foop? No to that as well. A little at a time.

I won't be keeping track in real time, I'll just get all introspective on January 1, 2016 and write about it. Provided I'm still alive, still able to access a computer and still blogging.

So what's new with you? Do you do resolutions? Set goals? Find the new year a good place for a new beginning or two?