Sending Email

Back in the days of running a Girl Scout troop, whenever we had what I called a super event* coming up, I had lists all over the house. An index card and pen on the counter in the kitchen. One on the table. One next to the bed. Usually one either in a coat pocket or in my wallet.

*Super event... one or two nights away at a Girl Scout property. When I'd need a ton of things to entertain, amuse, teach, do with the kids. When the box of markers or the extra paper or the photo printer or the earplugs or the myriad of other necessary items absolutely had to be with me.

Because if I didn't have those lists going, I would lie awake all night long and obsess. I'd think of something and in an effort to avoid forgetting it, would repeat it to myself every time I briefly surfaced from sleep. It was just nuts.
Eric pointed out more than once (correctly) that just taking the kids to one of the GS properties and letting them hang out for the weekend would have been enough to make them happy. That they'd enjoy each other's company and if I forgot something, no one would care. In fact, they wouldn't even notice unless I told them.

He was right, of course. But just because he's right doesn't mean I won't obsess.

I still make lists.
Right now, I am planning the things I'll need to do a bunch of crafty things at our winter break program, and making a long list. I'm also doing my annual thing I do at my own site, we make an ornament or some sort of decoration every single day during the month of December. Today's project was a reindeer made from puzzle pieces. I painted them brown a long time ago, and they are in a ziploc bag. We add our own touch, after they're glued together, the kids paint on a clear coat with extremely fine glitter mixed in. We can't use the sprinkle variety in the cafeteria, and really, who wants to? There's a reason glitter is considered the herpes of craft supplies, am I right?

So instead of trying to keep track of lists here and lists there (here a list, there a list, everywhere a list list) I am constantly picking up my phone and sending myself a one or two word email. Then, the next time I sit down at the computer, there's a list of all the things I need to remember to either take to work with me or find here at home and put into a box for winter break. I've also been texting our manager to let her know that I need this or that.

And I still obsess. I worry all the time over inconsequential things. I worry about important things. I worry. I obsess.

My friend Karen and I refer to this as riding the crazy train.