VIRUS!!

Everyone* forwards computer virus information to me.

Aside from being immediately recognizable from the Fwd: fwd: fwd: fwd: in the subject line, it's easy to spot the virus alert emails because they almost always start with a disclaimer about how 'I checked this at Snopes and it's the REAL DEAL.'

* my mother

But when I turned on my computer about 2 AM on Thursday and came face to face with the Mongol Virus, I was disappointed that no one* had thought to warn me.

*my mother

First, the screen went black. There was the noise of a muffled explosion, and an echo of it in my ears. Then, a bit of black and greasy smoke billowed out of my computer screen.

The image of an ugly-assed man with yellow teeth, oily and stringy hair, filthy wool hat and scraggly beard filled my screen. He laughed in a deep, gravelly voice and belched.

A horrendous stench, compounded of dirty male person, dead, rotting meat and smoke filled the air around the monitor.

What the hell?????

I yelled for my resident geek.

"Matt!!! Matt!!!"

He came in, took one look at the screen, smacked himself in the forehead and growled.
"Aaaarggh!!! FUCK! You've got the Mongol virus!!!"

I was watching him work on the computer when I woke up and realized I'd been dreaming.

And I have to confess to being a little nervous when I pushed the button to turn it on in the morning. But it seems to be working okay.

But wouldn't it be sort of cool if there really were such a thing as the Mongol Virus? Complete with smells etc?