Let's start with the official Mental disclaimer, shall we?
My family homeschooled.
It worked well for us, and we feel good about the choices we've made along the way regarding our children's education.
It worked well for us, and we feel good about the choices we've made along the way regarding our children's education.
Our choice to homeschool is not a reflection on your (generic you) choice to send your child(ren) to public school, private school, or any combination of the above.
Your kids, your life, your choices... easy. I pass no judgement on your methods of diapering, feeding, toilet training, educating and loving your children.
Because of course they're yours.
So yeah. With that out of the way.
I used to be on a lot of homeschool discussion email loops. When we homeschooled, it was a good way to connect with local homeschoolers who had similar interests. In fact, it's how I ended up with the all-homeschooled Girl Scout troop I had.
We're no longer officially homeschoolers, and I'm only on one loop, a national one. I host an international Friday night chat* for them, so have stayed on the loop.
*that international chat? It's usually a core group of four or five regulars who have been chatting together for more than 10 years. We've 'watched' each other's kids grow up, rejoiced when they graduate, get married, have babies...
So I said all that because I digress and admit it, it's only one of the myriad of reasons you read here.
:::waiting for my 10s of readers to make that admission:::
annnnnnd ON with the story!!
A couple days ago, A posted to the list that she'd just had a visit with her sister, B, and her sister was critical of certain things she perceived to be lacking in her homeschooling.
B was concerned that even though A was homeschooling, A's children were 'just' at grade level. And get this... A needed to have her kids learning how to make speeches and give oral reports. Something to do with college and scholarships. And that A's kid wouldn't know how to 'close the deal' or 'compete' with people if he didn't do lots of reports in front of a group and/or participate in class discussions.
And A was a little taken aback. Wondering, as ALL parents do, if she was doing things 'right'.
(Ever question any of your parenting decisions? Ever wish you'd done something differently? Yeah. Me too. Most other parents as well. Homeschooling has NOTHING to do with that.)
I mostly read the homeschooling emails. I don't usually feel like I have anything of value to contribute. But something just told me I needed to respond to that one. It rubbed me the wrong way.
Your kids, your life, your choices... easy. I pass no judgement on your methods of diapering, feeding, toilet training, educating and loving your children.
Because of course they're yours.
So yeah. With that out of the way.
I used to be on a lot of homeschool discussion email loops. When we homeschooled, it was a good way to connect with local homeschoolers who had similar interests. In fact, it's how I ended up with the all-homeschooled Girl Scout troop I had.
We're no longer officially homeschoolers, and I'm only on one loop, a national one. I host an international Friday night chat* for them, so have stayed on the loop.
*that international chat? It's usually a core group of four or five regulars who have been chatting together for more than 10 years. We've 'watched' each other's kids grow up, rejoiced when they graduate, get married, have babies...
So I said all that because I digress and admit it, it's only one of the myriad of reasons you read here.
:::waiting for my 10s of readers to make that admission:::
annnnnnd ON with the story!!
A couple days ago, A posted to the list that she'd just had a visit with her sister, B, and her sister was critical of certain things she perceived to be lacking in her homeschooling.
B was concerned that even though A was homeschooling, A's children were 'just' at grade level. And get this... A needed to have her kids learning how to make speeches and give oral reports. Something to do with college and scholarships. And that A's kid wouldn't know how to 'close the deal' or 'compete' with people if he didn't do lots of reports in front of a group and/or participate in class discussions.
And A was a little taken aback. Wondering, as ALL parents do, if she was doing things 'right'.
(Ever question any of your parenting decisions? Ever wish you'd done something differently? Yeah. Me too. Most other parents as well. Homeschooling has NOTHING to do with that.)
I mostly read the homeschooling emails. I don't usually feel like I have anything of value to contribute. But something just told me I needed to respond to that one. It rubbed me the wrong way.
So I did respond. And I hope that she felt better, not worse after my response.
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Ordinarily I don't respond to stupid things like this.
I phrased that badly.
What *you* have said isn't stupid at all.
The remarks made by people who have NO idea what homeschooling is or isn't can indeed be stupid, though.
And I think as parents, no matter what choices we make for and with our children, someone will always be stupid about it. And feel the need to correct us, or educate us, or point out how much better choice B is than choice C.
Usually I just smile at the well meaning person and say something like, 'How interesting' or 'I will think about that!'
Then I go on with my life. Because people didn't approve of my co sleeping. Or extended nursing. Or allowing my children to eat fruit AND cereal when they first started solid foods. Had lots of disapproval over the whole homeschool thing, too. Not that I cared then or care now.
The reality is that kids who are forced to get up and do public speaking/reports are just like kids who aren't forced.
Some will do well at it. Some will be paralyzed with fear and stammer and stumble and show how uncomfortable they are, whether in a classroom or on a stage.
Not every child will have to stand up and read meaningless reports in adulthood (thank goodness) and there are many more important skills a person needs to be self sufficient in life.
And 'grade levels' are a meaningless and ridiculous measure, based only on the pathological need of educrats to categorize, sub-categorize, and sort kids into exact little boxes. Easier to label all that. Grade levels have no meaning to anyone but those who are a slave to them.
As for college? Can't afford to send mine, either. My son, who decided he wanted to be a civil engineer, is paying for his own college. He lives at home, works full time, goes to school, has small student loans and 100% of all the support we can give him. We feed him and provide him shelter and encouragement.
There are many ways to go through college without scholarships and giving speeches. She's looking at a dust speck in the middle of the room and she thinks it's an elephant.
Do what works for your kids. And for you. And smile. And say thanks, I'll think about that.
Then go on with your life.
You're doing fine.
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I phrased that badly.
What *you* have said isn't stupid at all.
The remarks made by people who have NO idea what homeschooling is or isn't can indeed be stupid, though.
And I think as parents, no matter what choices we make for and with our children, someone will always be stupid about it. And feel the need to correct us, or educate us, or point out how much better choice B is than choice C.
Usually I just smile at the well meaning person and say something like, 'How interesting' or 'I will think about that!'
Then I go on with my life. Because people didn't approve of my co sleeping. Or extended nursing. Or allowing my children to eat fruit AND cereal when they first started solid foods. Had lots of disapproval over the whole homeschool thing, too. Not that I cared then or care now.
The reality is that kids who are forced to get up and do public speaking/reports are just like kids who aren't forced.
Some will do well at it. Some will be paralyzed with fear and stammer and stumble and show how uncomfortable they are, whether in a classroom or on a stage.
Not every child will have to stand up and read meaningless reports in adulthood (thank goodness) and there are many more important skills a person needs to be self sufficient in life.
And 'grade levels' are a meaningless and ridiculous measure, based only on the pathological need of educrats to categorize, sub-categorize, and sort kids into exact little boxes. Easier to label all that. Grade levels have no meaning to anyone but those who are a slave to them.
As for college? Can't afford to send mine, either. My son, who decided he wanted to be a civil engineer, is paying for his own college. He lives at home, works full time, goes to school, has small student loans and 100% of all the support we can give him. We feed him and provide him shelter and encouragement.
There are many ways to go through college without scholarships and giving speeches. She's looking at a dust speck in the middle of the room and she thinks it's an elephant.
Do what works for your kids. And for you. And smile. And say thanks, I'll think about that.
Then go on with your life.
You're doing fine.
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What really bothers me, though, is there was one poster who agreed with A's sister that that whole speech thing was important.
I really don't understand the way people think sometimes.
Don't we second guess ourselves enough as parents that we can keep our advice to ourselves unless asked? B isn't raising A's kids. You're not raising mine. I MAY be raising yours, considering what it is I do for a living... but you get what I mean, right?
I really don't understand the way people think sometimes.
Don't we second guess ourselves enough as parents that we can keep our advice to ourselves unless asked? B isn't raising A's kids. You're not raising mine. I MAY be raising yours, considering what it is I do for a living... but you get what I mean, right?
Bunch of busybodies out there.
Both our families are still deadset against us homeschooling (even after 8-oh wait 9 yrs). If I had a dime for everytime I heard the "socialization" or what about- word, I would be rich. ANYWAYS- I have lost my train of thought, lol. Let me say, there are days when I scratch my head and go what the iff. lolol--however, he has set his goals high & he is just as normal as most kids. Oh wait, really he is abbinormal. lolol (sorry just humor)--I have not regretted hsing one bit. Blessings
ReplyDeleteNo doubt about it. The world is full of busybodies.
ReplyDeleteAs someone who has always second guessed the raising of my kids, I know what it's like to have someone else make you question yourself, more than you already do. It's a very uncomfortable situation... especially when the person making you question yourself, is a family member. It's hard to escape family. (in her case, a sister)
ReplyDeleteToo many people trying to tell other people what to do and how to do it and how to wipe their asses. All because they themselves are feeling inadequate.
ReplyDeleteDoes anyone else have a problem with the fact that A's sister, B, feels that children should be accelerated? The Boy is gifted, Baby Gurl is not (although she is smart). I am smart enough to know to allow them to be themselves, learn at their own paces, and do their own thing (Note: BG is in a PS 5th grade, TB is in K-12 this year; virtual PS).
ReplyDeleteDo you ever get the idea that adults are notorious for living vicariously through their children? THAT rubs me the wrong way.
Yeah. As you know, I outsource my schooling :) Wish I didn't have to, but it's really the only option here and now.
ReplyDeleteBut there's also a whole lot more to living than sitting still in your chair, coloring like all the other kids, and doing the "new" math.
As for public speeches, as adults, don't we all avoid them like the plague if we can?
I absolutely agree with your general philosophy and the way you handle 'second-guessers'. In general however, whether kids are homeschooled or not, I feel gathering and collecting experiences is key as early as possible. That may be getting up to speak in front of people in a public forum or it may be attempting algebra before the 'appropriate' grade level. The reason of course is how are you ever going to know if you are better and more interested at math than you are at acting and public speaking unless you try? That doesn't mean you force your kids to do EVERYTHING until they are experts, but it does mean to use EVERY opportunity in daily life to give them the chance to FAIL as well as succeed. W.C.C.
ReplyDelete@WCC, I did not read anything that indicated that Ami claims the contrary. But I think homeschooling offers a child more opportunities to try and succeed AND fail than "normal" schools do (where I live homeschooling is not recognized and me and my children do the "normal schooling" thing). When I had to stand in front of a classroom I'd die every time, I could only fail and guess what, I'd lose points and be forced to do it again and again. I still hate it and avoid it at all costs and I don't need it to live/survive/be happy! Hurray! The sister (B) was talking about the kid having to "compete", i.e., be better than another one... Where's the need for that if we all know every one has his/her strong points and weaker points? Why can the world at large not accept that?
ReplyDeleteI remember that original thread and I kept thinking why doesn't A just tell B to mind her own damn business and stay out of hers. But I don't have siblings and don't understand sibling dynamics, so I didn't want to post that. I guess they have to live with knowing each other. But really, what does B have to do with anything?
ReplyDeleteI don't post on forums of any sort much any more. I grew tired of being attacked and figure no one listens anyway.