I wasn't speechless. I just kept my mouth shut at the right times.

Imagine that.
Repeatedly.

I kept my mouth shut through several opportunities to spit in indignation and anger and incredulous disbelief.

But not because I didn't have anything to say. It was more because I was trying to make sure I didn't say the wrong thing.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

So when we last checked in with Liam Smith, he told me that he was not allowed 'to play with girls ever again forever.' And when asked why, he told me that his dad thought he was turning into a girl.
Remember that?
Yeah.

And I ended up having a conversation with Georgia*, my area manager. She said she'd give Dad a call and discuss the situation with him on Monday.

Monday afternoon she called me to let me know that she hadn't had a chance to do it and was leaving the office early due to a family emergency.

I told her not to worry, I really felt okay talking with Dad myself. I'd had the weekend to consider it and gotten some great advice from friends and family.

Also, I thought that if I spoke to him about it instead of having my supervisor do so, it implied that I was the only person aware of what was going on and that I wasn't pointing the 'you're a bad parent' finger at him by passing the story on up the line, if that makes sense.

So we agreed that I'd talk with Dad, and that I'd get back to her about it.

And it wasn't 10 minutes before Liam's dad showed up to get him.

::gulp::

I didn't even have time to get nervous about talking with him, we still had 18 kids with us and various activities going on.

So as I walked up the hallway with him to a place where we could talk without being overheard, I was mentally making a list of goals.

Number one.
I didn't want to make him angry.
What if he took it out on his son in some way?

Number two?
Same as number one, but for a slightly different reason.

I did not want to make him angry.

If I made him angry, the first thing he'd do is pull his kid out of my program... and how would I be able to make a difference to the little guy if I am no longer a part of his life?

So I just told his dad the exact same story I wrote here. That his son had sat alone on the playground for an hour while everyone else played and had a good time.

And that when questioned, he had told me that he wasn't allowed to talk to or play with girls.

His dad started into a litany (no other word to describe it) about nature vs nurture, (a boy becomes a 'homo' due to 25% nature and 75% nurture.. "the research says so,") sexual identity confusion, his four psychology classes at college and how 'the mother' (yes, he referred to his wife not by name or even 'my wife' but 'the mother') has spoiled him and taught him to want to be a girl.

That his 'confusion' about whether he is a boy or a girl all started when he was a baby and the mother began reading him books about princesses. The situation became worse when 'the grandmother' bought him a princess dress when he was three and allowed him to wear it when he visited her.

He said that the mother has said that "He is what he is, that people are born homo or not and that you can't change it," and that his son is, right now, confused and that she's done nothing to stop it. That he wants to play with girl toys and girls all the time. That he has personally observed that in games where there is role playing, he always wants to take the feminine role.

He said he's told Liam that he will be picked on in school, and the boys in high school will beat him up if he's different, and that he's just trying to teach him that he's a boy, not a girl.

He continued talking in the same manner for a few minutes, and I just let him ramble. I knew before we even started talking that attempting to change his mind wasn't a possibility, so I wasn't even going to try.

But I did have a goal. To get him to allow his son to be one of our group without regard to whether or not he plays with boys or girls.

To not be set apart the way he had been.

So when he started to run down a bit and took a breath, I jumped on the opportunity to say, "I'm sure it wasn't your intention for Liam to be alone and lonely. Obviously it's not healthy for him to come here and not be able to enjoy the friends he's made. He's such an engaging and outgoing little person. He has a lot of friends here, both boys and girls. Everyone likes him and wants to play with him."

And he looked flummoxed. I hadn't disagreed with any of the crap he spouted. I let him say what he believed and didn't attempt to change his mind at all. I didn't even address any of it. I just let him say what he wanted without argument.

And he stammered a bit and sort of danced around the issue of his son being allowed to play with girls.

I told him that, "Of course you're his father and I would never undermine you with your child. What would you have wanted me to do when he was sitting alone on the playground? Would you have wanted me to let him know it was okay to play with a mixed group of kids, both girls and boys... or just leave him sitting there? I tell ya, they're my kids four hours a day, and seeing him sit there so sad was difficult for me. I can't imagine how bad he must have been feeling. It's really important to me that the kids have a good time while they're here. I work hard to make sure that they're having a lot of opportunities to have fun and learn things together. Within the scope of my job, of course, I could never tell a child that he or she wouldn't be able to play with another child because of an issue like that."

And ya know what? I won!
:)

He said, "Um, well, no, of course I don't want him to be alone. I want him to have a good time here. He can play with girls, but I really don't want him to play just with girls all the time. Can you encourage him to do boy things?"

"Of course I can, " I said firmly.
I did NOT say, "Of course I will." I chose my words most carefully.

We ended the conversation on a cordial note, he thanked me for taking good care of his son, and then?

Then he said something that just melted my heart.

"Of course I love him no matter what." he said.
"I just want him to be happy."

There is hope for Liam.

And that makes me really happy.