I Take it Back!

My paternal grandma died in 1991.

She had a fall at home and laid on the floor for something like 14 hours before someone found her. The thing that happens to so many elderly people happened to her, she ended up with pneumonia and died about 10 days later.

While the whole family gathered at the hospital, my brand new at the time sister in law took care of the young people (my son was three, my nephew, four) and made sure we were fed.

She brought a fried chicken dinner for 14 people one afternoon and we all sat in the hospital cafeteria and had a good meal.

After Grandma died and it was time to find new homes for all Grandma's possessions that my dad didn't sell as fast as he could (and of course he kept every dime and wouldn't give us any of the things we asked for, none of which were terribly expensive or rare, we just got small things and it's not the things that are the point, you get that, right?) my parents thought Grandma's clock should go to my sister in law. It was an antique with music and a ballerina all encased in a wood and glass case.

We all agreed that she should have it, Grandma had treasured it and we wanted to keep it in the family.

So life moved on, as it does.

A few years later, my brother and his wife had two little boys. I had my baby girl. My other brother and his wife had another little boy, too. 

It was 1995, I think.

There was some, uh, marital strife between my brother and his wife and he moved out of their house over a weekend and got an apartment.

It's their story, and I won't tell it here, it's not up to me. 

I called my sister in law on Monday morning and told her that I did not need to know what was going on. That I loved her and I loved my nephews and that they were welcome in my home at any time.

She did tell me a little bit of what was going on, again not my story to tell, but I couldn't blame her for feeling how she felt.  

But my parents were furious with her. 
They didn't make any effort to find out what was going on, either. They just took his side against her, started trash talking. I was actually stunned at the vitriol and name calling. They called her a slut and a whore and suggested that the youngest little boy wasn't even my brother's child. My mom called me every day to say some other awful thing. It was really incredible. I saw a side of her I'd never seen, 'cause she sure as hell never brought out the mama bear side for me. 

I did make an effort to talk them down, as it were. Not that it did any good, they had decided she was 'just like Jezebel' and they hated her.

It was about a week later that my mom decided that Jezebel had to give the clock back.

Yep, she called me up told me that 'she has no right to keep that clock, it belongs in the family' and that she was going to tell her to give it back.

I know she called her and left that as a message, but I don't know what the response was. They ended up getting back together not long after (after seeing a pastor as a counselor which is like hiring a barber to do open heart surgery ) and suddenly my parents had nothing but nice things to say about Jezebel.

It was 'all they had prayed for' and 'guess gawd has a plan after all' and 'we knew it would be okay, gawd had given us peace'.

It was really weird, that sudden reversal. All the venom they'd been spewing was magically turned into sweetness. Suddenly Jezebel was wonderful and everyone was so happy they were back together.

Mom was constantly saying, "Thank GOD and I mean that literally."

She said it so often, and with the same exact inflection that I can hear it even now.

Mom had Jezebel come speak at one of her Women's Aglow meetings, which I secretly refer to in my head as simpering Jesus rallies. 
There's a whole lot of religious crazy in the fam. 

My mom really wanted me to come over and visit  so I could hear Jezebel speak!

Yeah, that wasn't gonna happen.

I've never told Mom I am an atheist, it would serve no purpose and would hurt her feelings. She would worry over it daily. It's not about what kind of person she is, it's about what kind of person I am, and apparently I'm not the type to make an old lady feel bad over religion. Although she's made ME feel bad over it more than once, ha!

But my sister in law still has Grandma's clock.
 
She and my brother seem to be happy, and whatever route that takes is fine with me, I don't have to agree with it.

Another weird episode from the past.
Geez.