It's not 'Postive Reinforcement'. Dammit.

This is part of what one of our managers sent out to the site directors this week. 
It was buried in a bunch of stuff intended to encourage everyone as we roll on into the last month of the school year.

Sort of like 'we're in the home stretch, make sure you get your site inventory done, let me know if I can help you with anything, rah rah, go team!'

"Looking for positive reinforcement ideas? If students did a great job cleaning up after snack, celebrate with an outdoor picnic snack the next day. If students had great listening ears during team meeting, reward them with 10 extra minutes of recess. If students were focused and listening during face-to-names, maybe that earns them a second recess at 5:00 pm!"

Extra recess as a reward isn't positive anything. 
It's manipulative crap. 

And it's beyond me why we don't know better by now. 
I don't like this shit anyway, but it really bugs me when it comes from someone I like in most ways. This person has a sense of humor, is compassionate, cares about her job and the people she works with and although I don't know her outside of work, I've never heard her say a bad thing about anyone. She's consistently upbeat, reliable and supportive of us and our programs.

Okay, first, someone in a management position should know that sanitation/licensing says no, we aren't having snacks outside. We can't keep our surroundings free of things like bird shit.

Regarding the rewards thing, I can give sort of a pass to people who don't have kids and have never worked with them. Of course they don't get it. But think about it.

This is the last month of school. Kids are tired. 
They're being asked to do a lot more than their usual heavy load, too.

I think we lose sight of how much we are expecting from our young humans. 

We don't see them. 
We don't remember being them.

We (I include myself in this) rarely consider where little Hayden came from before he showed up this afternoon. 

Does he live in a home where he's cared for? Is he listened to and encouraged and appreciated for who he is? Does he have issues in his classroom with being able to pay attention or is he bothered by the noises his seat mate is making? Did he have time to eat his lunch? Did his teacher decide the best way to get him to stop wiggling was to take away his recess? 

Is he one of the check in kids with the daily boo boo sheet? (do click on that link. Please. I have talked about this more than once, but I figure the more people who learn about it and see why it's a crap idea, the better.)

Did he oversleep and have to rush to get ready for school this morning? Was his already-overworked mom or dad grumpy with him because he didn't hurry fast enough? Did he spill glue on his shirt and does he have texture or sensory issues so that spot of glue is driving him nuts all day? Does he have a loose tooth he can't leave alone? Is his nose stuffy or runny? Is he coming down with something or just getting over it?

Is he getting along with the classmate he argued with during the foursquare game at morning recess now that they're both at my program and getting ready to make something from magnatiles?

I don't know most of the answers to those questions at any given time, but I do know that when Hayden's shoulders are set a certain way as I look at him across the room, he hasn't had a great day and is likely to explode if someone looks at him wrong.

And even if all the things are perfect, a kid may be having an off day. 
I know I have them. I'll bet you do, too.

They're learning all the time while we coast along in our groove. 
They're growing. 
Their little brains are busy 24/7, and so are their bodies. It's go, go, go, constantly.

And on top of that learning all the time thing they do, the school year is winding down.
Oh! And end of year high stakes testing! When mine worry aloud about the tests, I tell them truthfully that the test isn't about them at all. 

"No one will ever show you your tests. They won't be using your test to help you do better in math or reading or anything. So all you can do is your best. No one can ask more than that. Do it and then forget about it." 

Also they're dealing with complete disruption in their routines. 
The end of school year concerts are happening. 
There are field trips and class parties.

So my young humans show up in various stages of being escalated, grumpy, tired, weepy, uncooperative with things like games and construction toys. They're hungry, too. A lot of them haven't eaten since 11 and probably didn't get enough time to eat, too much time waiting in line and then rushing so they can get outside.

Instead of 'how can we make kids do what we want' we should be asking what's best for these kids right now, today. What can we do to take some of the pressure off? How can we contribute to them having a good afternoon? How can we help them relax?

Here's the point, at least for people who do this work. Might work for everyone who deals with kids...
The more exercise they get, the more freedom they have to choose their own adventures, the easier our jobs get.

Read that again.

The more exercise they get, the more freedom they have to choose their own adventures, the easier our jobs get.

So feed them immediately upon arrival in program. 
Answer, "Yes." if they ask to finish the lunch their parent packed for them this morning. If they want seconds of the snack we're serving, yes to that, too.

The kids who are there late in the afternoon are offered a second snack at 5:30.

As soon as they eat and we know the playground is clear of the other group(s) we are outside. Our usual time is a half hour, but the weather has been lovely and they're really enjoying their recess time. So we stay out a full hour most days. Even longer when we can. Sometimes the other group comes out while we're there so we go in, but they never come out during our designated time slot.

Stop making outside time, something they need as much as they need food and water, transactional. 

And stop encouraging people who work with children to be condescending and patronizing to them.

Please.