The Andre Report

My big guy, Andre, has done really well. I'm pleased that he's been able to more or less adjust to the program and that I've developed an understanding of him, at least a bit. 

His parents are rearranging their schedule so that one of them will be home directly after school, so at the end of January, the two boys are going to what we call drop in status, meaning care is still available if they need it but they're no longer on our regular schedule.

Andre is going to age out of the program at the end of our school year anyway, so it's good to get him into his new routine beforehand. He likes to know what's next.

I'm sorry they're going, even though it *is* stressful to have him there, but I have had a lot of kids over the years that were more difficult to have around and still feel like I need to do the best I can for them. I'm pleased that he's done so well.

He can't help his differences any more than I can help mine. I think that every child should be able to spend as much time with their parent(s) as possible, at least most of the time. 

I met with Andre's parents via Zoom when he first joined the program. We talked a lot about what he needed and what we could expect while dealing with him. I was amazed at how well his parents know him and the clear and reasonable way they advocated for him. I know it can't be easy to deal with the system when you have a kid with high needs. They're very nice people and he's a lucky kid. 

Andre has a kind heart and does his best to fit in. He has become more confident in asking me for things like the Zoobs or specific craft things. He really enjoys the crafts and arty things we do. He has favorite activities and the guidance I had to offer at first (Would you like to try this activity or that one?) isn't necessary anymore.

His emotional age is lower than his chronological age, it's been helpful to me to consider him to be a six year old even though he's a big guy. 

Yesterday, Kieran (his younger brother) and Ben ganged up on him verbally and teased him until he became angry. I did not notice the interaction, we were outdoors and I was busy with bandages, shoe tying, opening the door so kids could go to the restroom etc. 

William (my assistant) noticed the interaction and had a conversation with Ben about kindness and what had happened after Andre and Kieran were picked up.

He talked with Kieran this afternoon. 
I caught up with their dad and let him know what had happened as well, as he had been escalated when his dad arrived for pickup. 

It's unavoidable that siblings of special needs kids are both parentified (take care of your brother) and held to a bit higher standard, like not teasing their siblings the way neurotypical kids do. 

Easier to let it go or at least not have a big reaction when it's just regular kids. 
If that makes sense.

I have five sibling pairs in my program. It's not usually difficult to smooth things over between them. It's funny, they'll smack each other or yell over nothing. But let someone else bother their brother or sister and they'll run across the room to defend them. That's a little more difficult to defuse, in case you wanted to know.

Kieran and Andre don't spend a lot of time together, I think they both need some space away from one another sometimes. Kieran has to make allowances for his brother and I'm sure feels slighted on occasion.

So at the end of the month, I won't have them in the program regularly.
I feel glad that Andre has mostly had a good time and has found a place with the other kids. The smalls look up to him, and it's clear that he likes it.