Wayback Machine

I wish I actually had a Wayback Machine...

Remember that?

Mr. Peabody and Sherman?
Yeah, I'm old.
That used to be one of the only cartoons I really enjoyed. I got the humor of it. The word play. I found the history fascinating as well. I was a weird kid.

I was in my own wayback machine today, remembering some of the first kids I took care of for money.

We lived across the street from a family with two boys. We moved into that little house in 1991.

Steve and Vincent were a little older than Matt (we didn't have Lyssa yet). Vincent was a year older than Matt, Steve was 4 years older.

Vincent was an outgoing kid, he never met a stranger. In fact, my introduction to him was when we'd lived in our little house about a week. One Saturday morning, he knocked on the front door. When I answered the door, he said, "Hey, can your kid play?" Before I could even react, he just walked right into my house. He didn't stay long, I asked him to go tell his mom where he was and to ask her to come over. He left, but didn't bring his mom. It was a week or so before I met her. I'm more cautious now. I would not allow a kid to just walk into my house.

But he caught me by surprise.

Both of them were pretty cool kids. Their parents paid me to watch the kids before and after school starting when Matt was in Kindergarten, and then during summers, too. Took them to swimming lessons and we did field trips when they had a day off from school. It was like having four kids there for a couple years.

They moved across town when Matt was a 3rd grader, so I didn't have them anymore, but we all remained in touch. We still are, actually. Vincent and his wife have two kids of their own now. Steve is up in Washington, he and his partner don't have any children. Their dad passed away about 15 years ago. I have lunch with Mom on occasion.

Vincent was one of those kids who would say absolutely anything. No filter at all. Quite often the things he said were unintentionally hilarious.

One day while we were driving to swimming lessons, he said from the back seat, "Did you know I'm a veterinarian?"

I said that I didn't know that. That I thought a person had to be a little older for that. He said, "No. Anyone can be a veterinarian. You know. A veterinarian. I don't eat meat."

I didn't laugh. I may have smiled.

I said, "Vincent, I think you mean vegetarian."

"Oh yeah!" he exclaimed. "I always get those mixed up."

(He wasn't a vegetarian, either. Just thought it was a good idea to pretend he was. Haha.)

We were on our way somewhere a few weeks later, and he said, "Hey Susan. Did you know I'm a homosexual?"

I gave it a moment's thought. He saw my hesitation and said cheerfully, "Oh, it's okay. You're one, too!"

Oh.
Then I got it.

"Uh, Buddy? I think you mean homo sapiens."

"Oh yeah!" he exclaimed. "I always get those mixed up."

But my favorite thing he said was one I didn't witness. I just got to hear about it later.

They moved to a house across town. One Saturday morning, Earl was outside watering the flowers. A man walked up and introduced himself as a neighbor. They shook hands and started chatting. Earl said it was about three minutes before the guy unbuckled his belt, pulled down his pants and asked if Earl would mind 'looking at this thing on my leg'.

Earl was quite taken aback. Wouldn't you be?

He said he held up a hand and said, "WHOA!! Why are you showing me this???"

The neighbor said, "Well, because you're a doctor."

Earl said, "Um, no. I'm a plumber."

The guy blushed and pulled his pants up quickly.
"Oh," he said. "Your kid told me you were a doctor."

Haha... a different kind of plumber.