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Monday, December 25, 2023

A Christmas story to keep you warm.

In a teacher's family, there was often too much month at the end of the money.

Dad and Mom spent everything they brought home to keep the family afloat.
Occasionally grandparents or other relatives would send a gift check to them. It almost always needed to be spent on regular household expenses. Groceries, the electric bill, a new coat for one of us. They never complained about it. They were just grateful for the bit of extra cash.

One December, all the stars aligned and they were able to spend the check that was sent to them on something that wasn't a necessity.

They decided on an electric blanket with dual controls.
Back in the 70s, you couldn't go to Amazon, and trying to buy something special in   their little town was not easy. They pulled out the Montgomery Ward catalog and picked their blanket. It took two weeks, but it finally came. They couldn't WAIT to try it out.

The next morning, both of them hated that blanket.
"It's a piece of crap," Dad pronounced. "I was hotter than hell all night."
"It's terrible," Mom agreed. "I  was cold all night long."

They decided to try it again, but planned to return it if they didn't like it.

The next night was the same.
Both of them were grumpy and out of sorts in the morning.

Mom said that every time she felt cold, she turned it up and it just wouldn't get warm .
Dad said that he was constantly turning his side down. "I was sweating all night!"

When they went in to take the blanket off
("I hate that damn thing!" Dad said. "I've got no use for it! No use atall.") they learned that they'd reversed the dual controls. So Mom had been turning Dad's side of the blanket up all night and he was turning her side down.

They kept the blanket.

10 comments:

  1. This is hilarious! Thank you for the laugh.

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    1. I added that to the eulogy. People seemed to find it humorous. The parents were telling the story for years.

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  2. LOL! Merry Christmas, Ami, & to all your readers.

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    1. Why thank you! Glad you enjoyed the story. I told just a few of about a million during the eulogy. Kept things humorous and light for my mom's sake.

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  3. Replies
    1. It actually took me a moment to decipher that. Master of ceremonies? Ha. Hope your holiday was good.

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  4. Oh my goodness, that's a hoot!

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    1. That story helped me set the tone during the eulogy. Mom said she'd forgotten all about it and liked being reminded. It really was funny. Not as funny seeing them scramble every year trying to reciprocate every dime gifted to them when they could not afford to do so.

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  5. That's hilarious. I used to love Montgomery Ward. lol

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    1. We had a choice of Wards or Sears. Anything we ordered took at least a week, usually two or three to show up. They still have no clothing store in their town, and it's awfully hard to find specialty items like an electric blanket. Of course all the local merchants are making a killing, not a living... and they trumpet SHOP LOCAL all the time. Imply that people who buy from Amazon or go out of town are somehow the world's biggest assholes. Ah, small town life.

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