SPED

I've worked in many schools over the past 18 years. All of them have had kids with special needs.

In some of the schools, the SPED kids, as they're known, are a little more wound up than in other schools. I know the mix of children is different, but the primary determining factor in their attitude and demeanor is the attitude and demeanor of the adults who are supposed to be taking care of them.

I've seen teachers and aides who were infinitely patient and warm and kind and genuinely loved every child in their care. I know for certain that I don't have the kind of patience to be able to deal with the profound issues found in the typical special needs classroom. I'm too easily frustrated. Maintaining an even tone and not losing my temper in the face of some of the things I've seen isn't possible for me. I know it.

Unfortunately, I've seen people working with these kids who probably shouldn't be working with children in any capacity, definitely not with kids who need extra help and extra love.

I've witnessed adults who know exactly which buttons to push to wind a kid up, too. My theory in at least some of these instances is that the kids have been annoying or bothering or aggravating the adults so much that they decide, maybe even subconsciously, to get back at the children.

It's bullying in its worst form. The little people in the situation(s) are even more powerless than neurotypical kids, too. And to make it worse, they're usually kept away from the general population of the school.

They have their own recess time, their own lunch time, and their own classroom. Although in our school, their classroom isn't away from all the others, it's an old building and was built long before people thought about things like that.

So any issues with the special needs kids are quite disruptive to the rest of the school. It interferes with everyone, and I'm not sure how being in school is helpful to the kids with the issues, either.


The SPED staff at our school doesn't seem to be made of bad people, at least not that I've seen, but some of the kids are very disturbed. There are days when a lot of screaming goes on. I hear it when I come in to start getting things set up for the afternoon.

One of the kids is a runner. Not just once in awhile, but all day long. The aide assigned to him does nothing but chase him around. He has no sense of boundaries, if she isn't fast enough he goes into classrooms, restrooms, the principal's office. Last week as I was arriving I saw four adults running in different directions outside trying to catch up with him. He had escaped out the door of the building and no one knew where he was. The school is located next to a busy street, so it's not safe for a kid to be out running around. I know they found him, I saw them all walking past our classroom just before the bell at the end of the day.

There are kids who yell, kids who hit, at least one who is non verbal, a couple who need diapers. Feeding issues (tube feeding) is part of the daily routine, too. It takes a very specific type of individual to do work like that, and they have my respect. I am not capable of doing that. No way in hell.

But I always wonder how school is of help/benefit to some of them.
It's more respite care for the parents than anything else sometimes, I think.

I don't actually have issue with that. I can't imagine what some of them have had to deal with. Some of the adults who work with these kids have an amazing ability to meet the kids wherever they are and provide an environment for them that is at least stimulating and interesting.

In many cases, the parents have gone through years of meetings and arguments and aggravation to even get their child(ren) the smallest bit of services that they're entitled to. I have read some of the stories of their tireless advocacy for their children. It's not for the faint of heart.

So many kids don't have enough issues to satisfy the legal requirements for help, either. It's a very strange system that quite often, fails those kids. Which goes back to my question of how school is helping some of them.

I have an online friend from Colorado who has two daughters with special needs. Both non-verbal. One of them was abused terribly for years (she was 17 when her mom found out what had been going on)  by the teacher who was supposed to be taking care of her.  She had several digestive system surgeries that caused her some very obnoxious gas, something she could not help.

For years she'd had an odd rash on her hands/face/legs, but only during school. During school breaks, the rash went away. They tried figuring it out, but they never did. They had some people from the school district who took air samples and other environmental tests. This went on for years.

Finally she graduated and the rash went away.

It wasn't until a few years later when the teacher took her own life that one of the aides came forward and let my friend know what had been happening with her daughter. She was afraid of the teacher, so never said anything until then.

That teacher had been spraying that girl with Lysol every time she farted. All of her exposed skin had been breaking out in a rash for years while she was in school. And because she was unable to speak for herself, she couldn't tell her mom.

My friend wasn't the vindictive type, but she said if the teacher hadn't been dead, she would have liked to kill her. I couldn't disagree. What an awful thing. Years of abuse at the hands of someone who was in a position of trust. One of the saddest stories I've ever heard about SPED.

They discussed filing a lawsuit, but it's been a couple years since we last were in touch so I don't know what happened with that.

I don't have answers to any of my questions. I've had some SPED kids in my program(s) over the years. Sometimes I'm able to help a bit, sometimes not. I focus on making the child feel welcome and supported. I try to figure out ways to at least not make things worse. I can't do anything to help sometimes, but I sure wish I could.

When I've had to have a child removed from my program I always take it personally. I feel like I've failed. Intellectually I know that's not true, there is no failure on my part, just a lack of ability to work miracles.

I wish I could do everything right for every kid.