Bubbles is a bully.

This week, I am stuck giving lunch breaks to Bubbles and her sidekick.

You know I hate working at other people's sites.
If you didn't know that, you must be new here.

Let's make it official.
I hate working at other people's sites.

Why? Let me count the ways.

First...
Other people's sites are almost always messy and disorganized.
Not that I'm perfect at the whole organization thing, but good heavens. Dirty corners and dirty tables and stuff stacked precariously on top of other stuff. Dirty rugs. Filthy floor.

Cluttered, too. If you can't find a home for something, get some more shelves or get rid of the item.

When you get 10 different colors of duct tape so you can micromanage your kids by only allowing them to use the items appropriate for their age group, and then you slap duct tape on every damn thing in the room, it doesn't look nice the way you think it does. It's cluttered. Ugly. Condescending and superior.

There is duct tape on the spine of every book.
It's on all the games.
It's on some of the toys, too.

Oh for crying out loud.
Get stuff that all the kids can use.
Some children may choose NOT to use something, but let it be up to them.

Is that game going to be too hard for the second graders who've picked it out?
They chose it because of the colorful box.

So what?
Let them puzzle over it.

If you have a few minutes, show them the basics.

Allow them to invent their own way of playing or give up and put it away if they don't want to play it. As long as they put it back in the box and on the shelf when they're done, why do you care?

Stop saying stupid things like, "This book is too advanced for you. You must choose one from the blue or the green group." Don't say, "You are too big to read this book. It's for little kids. You must choose from the red or orange books."

By the way, Bubbles, it's not difficult to clean tables.

Yeah, it's a pain in the ass at times, and it's just one more thing that needs doing on a never-ending list of stuff that you'll never be completely caught up with,  but when an off-white table is dark gray on top, it's probably past time to get out the cleansers and rags and do some serious deep scrubbing.

Since they're really filthy, you should probably be prepared to wash each table more than once. Maybe you should wash them every morning and every afternoon. Just an idea.

I subbed at that site I think about three?? years ago (yep, January 2019, just checked while I was looking for that post) during the holidays when Kyra, who is still in charge there, let her CBR lapse. (CBR is Criminal Background Registry)

At that time, I washed the tables. For three days, before and after afternoon program, I washed the hell outa them.

I wouldn't be surprised if that was the last time they were washed.

Kyra is inappropriate in her physical contact with children.
Not in a way that alarms me exactly, but it should alarm her.
Or at least get her attention.
She oughta fuckin' know.

She allows kids to run up and grab her by the arms, grab her around the leg or the waist. They approach her from the back and throw their arms around her. She laughs. They pull on her arms and try to climb up. She lets them try once or twice or three times. You know, instead of saying, "Stop." when she sees one running toward her.

She routinely allows children in her personal space even when they're not running up to grab her.

If you're a thinking adult, you know that isn't a great idea. That blurring of  physical boundaries between children and an adult is a huge issue and should not be happening. If you are a child care provider, you should have known that years ago. And never let things progress to that point.

"Oh, but Kyra is a safe adult?"
I hope she is.

But kids who are comfortable running up and grabbing an adult like that are more likely to be unworried when some trusted adult grabs them. They don't even see an issue because they're accustomed to that contact. It may not be on purpose, but she is setting them up to be preyed on.

Yes, it is that serious.
In the positions we're in, that sort of activity should never be happening.

Put succinctly, As child care providers, it is not appropriate for us to allow children to climb us like a fuckin' tree.

Yeah, that seems pretty clear. No ambiguity, right?

And speaking of ambiguous.

Don't punish kids for acting like kids. If they bounce around a little while they're standing in line waiting for you to SHUT the hell UP (blah blah blah blah blah blah blah) don't tell them they're misbehaving.

Holy crap, Woman, you act like you've never met a kid before.

All week, Kyra has alternately threatened to withhold a reward while simultaneously promising something good to the kids.

There's a clear plastic (hey, at least she got that right) jar of beads, partially filled, sitting by the entry door. When the kids are 'good' they might get a handful of beads!! In the jar!! So if they fill the jar this week, they can have a MOVIE on Wednesday!! And a special treat!

But (and here we need to put on a very doleful tone and look serious and authoritative) "If you can't control yourselves, you will not earn this movie!"

Now let's have some honesty here, shall we, Bubbles?

Lying to children is a crappy thing to do. Deliberately keeping them off-balance for the purposes of controlling them isn't even necessary.

Quit being an asshole.
If you have to assert your dominance over and over and over, multiple times every hour, you're not actually in charge.

To make it really, really clear... If you're having to repeat your empty threats over and over and over and over and over all day long... it's not the children who are slow to catch on.

You're playing some stupid control game and you've already lost.
The only people out of control are you and your sidekick.

OF COURSE you're going to show the movie, you will be able to do absolutely nothing for the entire time it's on.

You can sit and watch the kids while they watch a movie. They won't be annoying each other. They won't be doing any childish behaviors like laughing or jumping up and down or talking out of turn.

So the constant barrage of, "Be good or you won't get a handful of beads!" is a fucking lie. It's also a shit thing to do when most of the kids in your group are behaving exactly the way you want them to.

It is colossally unfair of you to punish the little people who are doing nothing but what you've asked by withholding your approval due to the actions of a few kids who are acting like children. Which of course is what children do and why are you in this line of work anyway? You don't seem to like the little people you've been entrusted with at all.

You're punishing children for doing nothing wrong.

And the few who still have a little backbone and refuse to stand silently in line/pick up the toys 'fast enough'/ line up (silently) to wash hands/ line up (silently) to go outdoors/line up (silently) to come back indoors?
I think they deserve a medal.

While we're on the subject of beads and rewards, make up your mind. Are you going to give them beads or are you going to take them away? It's kind of shitty for you to give them 'handfuls' of beads and after the jar is almost full, start threatening them with, "I am going to TAKE SOME BEADS AWAY if you don't settle down!"

This is going on all day long. And Kyra's sidekick has bought into the whole rewards and punishment and rewards and punishment thing, and while Kyra is out for lunch, continues spewing the same bullshit at the kids.

I'm stuck at that site one more time tomorrow so Kyra and Dingdong can have their lunch breaks (unless there are 15 children or fewer, then I'm off the hook) and then I'm outa there.

I don't ever want to go back, although apparently it might happen, still.
I will say something if I'm asked to go there again, though.

I've been asked many times why I don't do a prize box.
Why I don't hand out little trinkets for pleasing the adult in charge.
No little toys or gadgets for marching in a line and doing what they're told when they're told to do it and for not doing anything of their own volition?
Behaving like good little automatons?
Gah.

They're children.
They act like children.
They're good kids, they want to do the right thing and most of the time, they do. They don't have to be threatened or cajoled. They usually find their own way, and if they're doing something that's going to get them hurt, will hurt someone else or damage property, a simple, "We don't do that here," applied consistently is almost always all that's required. Sometimes a conversation and explanation of why the behavior is unacceptable.

A reminder.
Not a reward or punishment.

I try to base my interactions with other humans on honesty and respect. Playing stupid games has no place in a straightforward relationship.