Winding up as we wind down, or, TAKE THAT!! (and that and that)

My extra kids have turned our summer program, which was a calm-ish haven, into a crazy place. I don't see any reason to bust my ass trying to get everyone to learn to follow the rules and do what's expected, either. They're only going to be with me for another (consulting calendar) six days. A few of them will be with me for nine. Different school districts start at different times.

So I'm not trying as hard as I ordinarily would to get everyone's shit together.

Oh, I am working a little to try to get the kids to practice stewardship of our stuff and to act like humans. Keeping them safe on the play structures, enforcing some of the absolute rules that EVERY OTHER GODDAMN PROGRAM is supposed to follow. I won't allow them to run across the top of the monkey bars, for example.

No matter how many times Gunnar tells me, "Well at MY school, I get to!!"

Gunnar and his good friend Joe are just about to age out of the program, another year for both of them and they'll be off to middle school. I speak to the pair of them at least 10 times a day. Usually more. Just trying to settle some of their more wild behaviors. They're setting a shitty example for the younger kids and I'm not allowing it.

I have this rule... if it wasn't okay yesterday, it's not going to be okay today, either. Tomorrow? It also will not be okay. Week from Tuesday? Same.

Gunnar doesn't like this.
He exclaims loudly, "OH MY GOD!" when I let him know that he's not going to be allowed to throw bark chips/jump off the play structure/run up the slide/break my toys/shove other kids around. He gets a defiant look on his face and is determined to not only make a scene but to win the argument.
This is because other staff that's been letting kids get away with shit will back down when the kids get angry about a rule.
I don't.

The kids don't have to like me.
They just need to follow a few simple rules. It's not me being unreasonable, it's me, keeping them safe and doing what the company has asked me to do.
So Gunnar puts on his most convincing angry face. Raises his voice. Gestures eloquently.
I listen. No, I don't tell him to be quiet or get angry in return, although I do try to take our conversation to the far reaches of the room. I tell him, "We came over here because everyone doesn't need to know your business. Now tell me why you think what you did was a good idea."

When he's finally running down, I try to explain, seriously, why what he did isn't acceptable and isn't going to be allowed.He decided on day one that he doesn't like me. I heard him telling his friend Joe and a couple other kids. Even if I hadn't overheard, one of the littler guys came to let me know, "Gunnar said he doesn't like you!"

"Oh. Well, that's okay, he doesn't have to like me. Go play, Buddy."

Sure, we all want people to like us.
Sometimes adults who do my job make the mistake of trying really hard to be liked and let kids do things that aren't good.

I want to be liked, too. But what's really important to me is that I'm reliable. That the kids know I have their best interests in front of me all the time. Keeping them safe includes keeping the smaller, more easy to push around kids safe from the bigger ones.

The way the other staff handles Gunnar (they know him and have had him in their programs for awhile) is to take things away from him. Five minutes of recess time or the Bionicles for 10 minutes. They don't take the time to sit down with him and talk, something I've done for every single issue with him. We discuss. I tell him why he needs to change what he's doing and let him know that whole 'if it's not okay today' thing. And when we're done discussing, I tell him to go play. I don't punish him by taking things away or embarrassing him by saying things about what he's done wrong loudly for the benefit of other kids.

Funny.

It's quite a bit like trying to hold back the tide... King Canute couldn't do it and neither can I.

No divine intervention for either one of us.


We also have Lydia, who takes things.

Oh, it's not on her paperwork, but until I caught her at it, stuff was disappearing all day long. Kids were missing little bracelets, small LEGO creations (MY damn LEGO!!) and other things. I saw her sort of fluttering around the edges of the room, touching stuff here and there. Lifting things up, putting them back or moving them to different tables. I reminded her several times that, "If it's not yours, don't touch it."

I thought she was behind the missing items, but wasn't really sure until I saw her take a piece of Bionicle from my table, hold it next to her side and walk sideways, with that side facing away from me, and lean over her backpack and pretend to get her water bottle.

So when it was time for the kids to go outside, I sent my staff with them, told them I'd be right out, "I have to check something," and I opened her backpack (it actually wasn't zipped up, just sort of folded a little on the top) and looked inside. Two full Bionicles, my missing mechanical pencil, my friggin'  polymer eraser, Selena's bracelet, the pink socks Alia couldn't find on Tuesday. A woven bookmark from the project table, a small stash of beads from the art table. Bits and pieces.

I pondered about what to do.
I didn't want to confront her, even though I had seen her take the pieces of Bionicle.

Decided on a course of action and I took the items out and put them in plain sight on my table.
Went outside.

When we came back in, I didn't say anything to her. I saw her notice the items on my table. She blushed but didn't comment either.

When we had our morning meeting, I said that we were making a new rule, that unless it was lunch time, there was no reason for us to be in our baskets.
"So let's just make that area a place where we aren't hanging out."

I could tell that some of the kids were curious, but no one said much. Fine with me.

Today she didn't take anything, or at least not anything I noticed. I have my other staff people watching, too.

This week I've had four extra staff on site, which has helped a little, but one of the guys doesn't seem to see what needs to be done, so he sits a lot. But he's sitting with kids and coloring and having conversations with them and ready to go out into the hallway to observe them as they go into bathrooms. He's helpful-ish.

Mostly I'm just finished with summer. Burned out, I believe is the correct term.
I have so many other things to write about and am putting little parts of the stories in writing so that when I have time to really think I will remember the stories.

I still love what I do.