Almost time to say goodbye...

So I had to go to the office Thursday.

We have to pick up paperwork and snacks every week.

I still resent the shit out of having to drive 46 miles for some pieces of paper, but as always, no one has consulted me about the most efficient way of doing things.


And our Fall Registration forms are ready.
My already-registered families are given an opportunity to register before it opens to the general public. Everyone has been enthusiastic about it so far.

Except for Colin's family.
And Will's.
They don't want registration forms.
::sigh::

Colin has reached that magical age of moving on.
"Halfway grown up" he calls it.
Just turned 11.
He feels pretty proud of that fact.

Watching kids move on is part of the whole deal, and I wouldn't change it, but it's really hard for me to say goodbye to kids, particularly when we've been together awhile.

Colin and Dane were the first two kids I met in this job three years ago.
Their mom brought them in on the first day of school to meet me, although she didn't leave them there, she was escorting them to class the way most parents do when they can.

She has been unfailingly kind to me. Always has a gift for me for Christmas, for teacher appreciation, Valentine's day. This last year Colin told her it was my birthday and they brought me a gift for that, too.
Just super nice.
She's said good things about my program to other parents, and been so appreciative of the things I've brought in for the kids to do.

I will miss her, too.

I liked Dane, but only had him in the program for a year.

Everything was new, I was focused on trying to recover from the horrible effects of that shitbag Fluffy and her narcissism and build a new program.

Everything was difficult and hectic and I didn't get to know him as well as I would have liked to. I didn't get to know any of the kids as well as I usually do. My job change and all the crazy that went along with it made that first year really tough. I know I've said it before, but if I'd known how hard it was going to be on me, I don't know if I'd have had the courage to go through with it. Something I don't want to do again.

Colin was in Dane's shadow. Dane has such... presence. It's not something he does on purpose, either. It's just how he is. Their dad is charismatic as hell. Guess they both got a bit of that.

As soon as Dane moved on to 6th grade, Colin really started to show his own personality.

He's a funny kid, interested in learning new stuff, telling bad jokes and lately basking in the adoration of Amelia, Kellie and Kaysie.
He's become the stereotypical obnoxious pre-teen boy in some ways.
But he's also still the polite, responsible, helpful kid he's always been.

I have to admit I like kids. I like them when they're cheerful. When they're helpful. When they're kind. I also like them when they're obnoxious.
When they aren't behaving like little angels.

He's nice to the younger kids, always willing to help a little extra, and I'm really going to miss having him around. He's what they refer to in this business as a lifer, meaning he's been in day care a LOT. He's with me in the mornings, after school  and attends all the break camps.

I will attempt to keep from crying when I say goodbye.
Not sure I can.

It's also time to say goodbye to Will.

:::sigh:::

He's only in 1st grade.

If the parent(s) seem happy with the care I'm providing for a little one,  I have this little mental accountant that considers the age of a child and reassures me that I'll have a kid for __ number of years.

In my old job, kids only left my program when they aged out or moved away.
Since I started this job, two have moved, one family had difficulties with my employer and timely information about breaktime programs. And one was asked not to come back to my program. But most of my families are happy to have me there (remember the anger on my behalf last week when they were going to kick me out?) and the kids stay. 

So when Will joined me last fall, I was happy that I'd probably have six years to spend with him since he was only in K. He was a little bundle of energy and emotion. No filter and just learning self-control. Cute guy. He's slender with blonde hair and blue eyes and a great smile. There is no artifice to Will, what you see is what you get, and it's subject to change from moment to moment.

Last year was the year I had Louis, too. Louis attached himself to Will, playing alongside him most of the time. Although Louis was older, he was very immature. Quite often less mature than Will, who was quite a bit younger.

Will was patient with him. Allowed him in his space. I'm pretty sure Louis wasn't a particularly great influence on any of the kids, he was good at getting wound up and winding up the minions, too.

I won't do a retrospective on the whole Louis experience.
If you put his name in the search field, you'll find out a bit of what it was like.
I cared about him, just the same as I do all my other kids.
I still feel bad that I couldn't help him.

But I hated that he was such an overwhelming influence on my little group.

Okay, moving on.

And moving on is what's going on with Will, too.
He isn't going to be in our school next year.
He will be going to school somewhere else.
:::sigh:::

So much for that 'six whole years' thing.

He's matured a lot in the two years he's been with me.
Growing into that huge personality.
I'm so sorry I won't get to see him change/grow over those years.
I'll miss him.

His dad has been really nice, too.
Always asks me how I'm doing and seems like he really wants to know.
We've had a lot of interesting conversations.
He's another person I'm sorry to say goodbye to.

It's obvious that he loves his kid more than anything.
They have this little game where they yell at each other, "I love you more!" as I open the door to let Dad in when he picks up.

They're keeping score, but I don't think it's accurate.
If you ask me (of course you didn't... but if you had) I'd say they're both winning.
It really is pretty adorable.

So the school year is winding down.
Let me go look at my calendar, I'll tell you how many more times I get to hang out with Colin and Will.

It won't be enough.
:::sigh again:::

I love my job. And that heart connection is what makes me so good at it. I wouldn't change it. But that heart connection is also what makes me cry sometimes.

Just looked.
24 days.

Pass the tissues, willya?