Holidaze

I really don't feel the holiday cheer the way I used to.

It's not an Eeyore thing, 'oh poor me I am sad' because I'm not.

My house doesn't have small people living in it anymore and I just don't feel the need to decorate with all the stuff I used to get out. I "decorated" a couple years ago with a tiny little fake tree on top of the computer desk in the living room and I think I got out the little kitchen magnets.

This year I'm not sure what I'm going to do. Probably put up some cards from friends and family, vow to myself that I'll remember to reciprocate, not manage to get around to it, say to myself in January that I should send a letter to people and tell them I'm fine and I don't seem to manage cards. And then I don't manage that, either.

:::sigh::

I'm not unhappy or depressed or any of that, either. I just don't have anyone around who's excited about decorations or presents. Eric and I don't exchange gifts, we haven't since, hmm, 1985? Both of us are fine with that, we've reached the stage where if we really want something, we figure out a way to get it.

So I'm not sure we're going to do anything in the way of celebration.
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My kids at work are already busy with their lists of stuff they want. Alex has about 800 dollars worth of NERF guns on his list.

When Colin told him that it would cost that much, Alex said, "Ah, but I'm not asking my dad for it. I'm asking Santa!"

Colin knows not to give away the secret, but Juan is another story. He loves to let people know that he knows things. He is a smart kid. And he has a deep understanding of a lot of things. But yes, he has a little bit of superiority. He knows he's smart.

He said, "You know Santa isn't real, don't you?"

There was so much going on in the room at the time that Alex seemed to miss the comment.

I waited for a couple minutes and went to the art table where Juan was sitting and working on one of his engineering drawings. He's a good artist. I sat down next to him and said quietly, "Juan, when you were a kid, did you believe in Santa?"

"Yes," he told me. "Why?"

"How did you find out there wasn't a Santa?"

"My dad told me last year."

"Okay. So you're eight years old. Alex just turned seven. And he still believes, and it makes him happy. How about we leave it up to his dad to tell him about it? It's not up to us to spoil the magic for him, is it?"

He said, "Oh, I didn't think of that."

"That's okay, Juan. Sometimes we don't think about stuff like that. But since most of the kids here still believe in Santa, let's not tell them, okay?"

He agreed.

There hasn't been a lot of speculation about Santa, they're all focused on what they're going to get.

When it does come up... when they ask me directly, I always have the same answer.

"I have never seen Santa, but he brought presents for me when I was a child. He brought presents for my kids, too, until they grew up. What did he bring YOU last year?"

And they start telling me about every gift they've ever received in their entire lives over Christmas.

Works every time.


Now I *am* painting some ornaments. I have quite a few plaster ones to paint, got them at Michael's, but they had a shitty selection this year and I ordered some from Plastercraft. I hate the quality of what they sent, though. I went to their page and tried to leave them feedback, but there's NO DAMN BUTTON to send my words.

I am contemplating actual postal mail.