Solving Problems

A One Question Multiple Choice Quiz

1. When you're an adult in charge of a room full of children, and the kids are starting to get loud, should you:

A: Walk around to the individual groups of kids that are super loud and talk with them, explaining that the noise level is too much and could they please take it down a notch
B: Threaten them with, "If you don't quiet down, I'm going to make you sit and read!!"
C: Take a deep breath and bellow as LOUD as you are able, "QUIET!! BE QUIET!!!"
D: Get everyone's attention (this may take a few moments) and then use a visual. "Okay gang, the noise level is up here," and raise your hand high. "I'd like to see if we can get it down to about here." And lower your hand to about waist level.

Go ahead. Ponder. I'll wait.

If you guessed that A or D would probably be more effective than B or C, you're correct.

If your powers of reasoning, knowing that I use my blog to verbally roll my eyes/rant/sigh, caused you to wonder if B and C are usually the choices of the summer gang of barely adults in charge, you'd also be correct.

I nearly fell on the floor today when Madge (who is an actual adult and is older than I am) screeched from about three feet away, at top volume, "BE QUIET!!!!!"

What the fuck? What the actual fuck. Seriously.
That's like punching someone and telling them not to hit.

Not to mention colossal bad manners.
All I could do not to reach over and slap her in the side of the head. And maybe howl, "MADGE!! DON'T SCREAM IN MY EARS!!!"

Her idea didn't work, by the way.
Her bellowing just added another layer of noise to an already overwhelming amount. A few of the kids did look her way (and go right back to what they were doing) when she hollered, but most of them didn't even pay attention to her.

She yells all the time.
And they're used to it.
They ignore it.

The staff of this place uses an attention getter that's completely worn out, too. They yell out the first couple words in the name of the place, the children are supposed to answer with the last two words. And then freeze in place.

Except what happens is that the staff roars out, a few kids shriek back at them (actual screaming... a kid version of sarcasm) and then ALL the kids go right back to what they were doing. And instead of waiting for silence, the staff tries to yell over the top of the kids who aren't listening. Of course that's most of them.

So the kids who *are* listening can't hear, the ones who aren't listening have no idea what's been said, the staff is frustrated and bawls out even LOUDER those same first two words.

Repeat on an endless loop.

A thing that was very helpful to me from my past was learning from Girl Scouts that yelling isn't usually necessary. It's not always effective to stand in the center of the room with an upraised hand to get their attention, but most of the time, it is.

It's helpful to change your attention getter periodically, too.

But the most helpful thing? The thing this place lacks more than almost anything?

Actual communication with the young people who are stuck there all day every day.

Sit down and talk with the kids. Explain what you expect from them and what they can expect from you. If they start to talk to the person next to them while you're speaking, STOP TALKING. Don't change your face and put on the grumpy Madge face, either. Just look at the people who are interrupting you and wait. You don't even have to say anything. They *will* catch on.

Ideally, this discussion should happen on a regular basis when you're trying to get a group all heading in the same direction. For a summer camp, when the kids are sometimes only there for a week or two, you may have to plan what I like to call Conference Time every week.

I sit down with them and we talk.
Amazing how well it works when you consider as an adult how you'd feel being screamed at, condescended to or threatened when all you're doing is acting like an adult.

The kids are acting like children. This is what they do.
Screaming at them or threatening them (with READING!!!!! Reading as a PUNISHMENT!!!!) should not be happening. Ever. It just shows the kids how out of control you are. Doesn't do a thing to show them how out of control they are... since of course they're not. Say it with me, "They're just acting like children."

24 hours.