Nice to Meet You

We met Thursday morning.

The school counselor had spoken with me earlier in the day, saying that she didn't intend to facilitate the meeting, only to lend her support to me and to get the conversation started. She said that she and Laurie, the child's teacher, would vacate the room after that.

My manager person showed up about 8:40.
Louis and his dad at 9 exactly.

I was sort of surprised to see Louis. But I've given up trying to figure some things out... bringing a kid to a meeting to discuss how to deal with the kid seems counter-productive to me, but what do I know?
I'm just a babysitter.

Louis was given a tablet and some headphones and a seat nearby. We could see his back. I know he listened to a great deal of our conversation, but I'm okay with that.

I think he needs to be made aware of why he hasn't been allowed to attend my program for the past week. His father said that Louis didn't know why he wasn't attending. I refrained from allowing my face or demeanor to change, but internally I was saying, "What the fuck???"

Because it seems to me that if you explain to the child that, "You're not getting to go to this place you enjoy so much because you're not behaving properly," it might help contribute to some form of behavior change. I know he can't help a great deal of it, but he also has some control over himself when he chooses to. It just needs to be worth his while to do so.

The counselor and his teacher spoke first. They had quite a bit to say, but the condensed version is that Louis has behavior support in his classroom, often one on one and that they don't feel that my program is safe for Louis or the other children because there is only one adult on site. Laurie explained that there is always an adult available to redirect Louis as needed, and that they're able to give him that support when he needs it. She mentioned that he needs their assistance many times in the course of a day, and that having more than one teacher contributes to his ability to maintain for longer periods of time. She was a bit more specific, but I'm not trying to give away secrets about a kid here.

After saying that and explaining about what helps him succeed in the other settings he's in during the school day, they left us to talk with Dad.

We discussed many ways to support Louis.
To do so appropriately, I need support.
I need another person on site when he is in attendance.
And my company is evidently not into that.

I really shouldn't expect otherwise, it's been demonstrated to me more than once that support for me and my program isn't their highest priority. It's not me personally, they provide the same level of support for everyone else who works there. Frustrating, but if I don't like it I know what I can do about it.

I don't know if it's worth pitching a fit over or not.

The reasons I like being where I am are many.

The school is close to home. I can leave my house and be setting up my program 10 minutes later.

The school staff treats me like a part of their team. From the ladies in the front office who help me keep track (Caden went home today at 1, Alex will be picked up by his mom this afternoon from your program) to the principal who has promised me my pick of several locations for my program in the new school, the custodian who not only found me things to help make my program more portable and consistently helps me with any requests I have for things like paper towels and cleaning solutions and is just... friendly, the kindness of several teachers who have no vested interest... they're not just polite, they're really, really nice, to the amazing people who worked so hard to get the point across to my manager at our meeting on Thursday.

I feel valued and supported at the school.
Of course that's where I actually work, too. The school.

I'm 22.8 miles from my office by freeway.

I spend very little time with co-workers. That suits me just fine, by the way, if I could choose to never see any of them, that would be okay. It's not that they're bad people, I've said more than once it would be easier if I could hate them, but I can't.
They're nice people.
They really are.

But they're so clueless and disorganized.
Most of the time that doesn't matter, as I am not clueless.
We won't be discussing my organizational skills at this time, however.

I'm kind of at a loss.
I don't really know how to proceed here.

We spent 30 minutes or so discussing how we can support Louis. Not one word was said by my manager either during the meeting or after about support for me.

You know... the babysitter with no formal training in dealing with special needs.

Louis has more than one documented disability and the law requires us to make a bigger effort to help when there's that piece of paper. To do a little more to assist him. Help him fit in, keep attending program the same way a typical kid does. We can be sued if we fail to make that effort and document it. I'm sure that paper trail is important.

We have observed the niceties/legalities.
If Louis can't maintain his equilibrium and stop the swearing, self-harm and crazy behavior, we can now kick him out of the program.

It makes me sad on some levels, for all his intensity and anger and negative behaviors, he's still a child. A pretty young one. Six years old is so early in a child's life to be writing him off, you know? But if my company isn't going to provide me the support I need, I want him gone from my little group. It's not a good fit for him, for me or for my other kids.

It's not fair to hold the other children to higher standards of behavior, either. If Colin suddenly decided to start swearing and being horrible to the other kids and unsafe in our space, it would be easy to suspend him for a few days. And if he came back and started with the same behaviors, easy to toss him out.

He doesn't have an official diagnosis, you see.

So right now my inclination is to write a short email to my manager. I want it in writing that I'm concerned about him harming himself, another child, or me. That I need some physical support in order to keep things safe in my program.

I plan to tell them that I'm sending this email precisely because I think documentation is important.

We'll see what they want to do after that.

::sigh:::