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Thursday, August 10, 2017

Today in the world of child care

We live in an age where there's an actual hotline to report child abuse.

Where they tell you that 'If you're calling between 1 and 4 PM, call volume is usually high, but please stay on the line'.

Then you talk to a person who listens carefully to everything you have to say.
In this particular case, I had a lot to say.
I couldn't write anything down while the child was speaking to me, but when the child went off to play with friends, I scrawled down as much as I could remember.

Let me tell you, there is no way that child is making *any* of this up.

Then you're asked a series of questions... such as the child's age, where they live/go to school and names of other family members.

It's not an easy thing to make that call.
What if your call is the one that causes a child to be removed from his/her birth family?
The horror stories about foster care are out there.

Or what about the stories about how a child fell through the cracks and nothing was done until it was too late?

There are all kinds of reasons to be apprehensive about dialing the number that's been programmed into every telephone I've owned in the last 13 years.

Then there's the big reason to make the call anyway. That young person who is talking to you with such openness.

And when a child trusts you enough to tell you what is happening, you damn well better listen. And then do everything you can to save that little person.

I love my job on most days. Today was no different, I found many things to enjoy and had a good time with 'my' kids.

Some days, though, my job causes me some pain.

The manager I spoke to was concerned about whether or not I was okay, offered to send someone out in case I wanted to go home. I assured him that I was fine, that I'm quite good at compartmentalizing and maintaining my equilibrium in front of kids.

I can't deny shedding a few tears later, though.

16 comments:

  1. Don't know what to say. Am glad the child found you to talk to. Hoping it won't fall through the cracks, but into the right hands as soon as possible. And so relieved to read that at least one manager seems to really care too. Take care of you too please, hug

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    1. I hope for the best, always. But I don't expect it to happen without intervention.

      I'm fine. I'm not the one living the horror story.

      Delete
  2. Thank you for caring. Bet that child isn't the only one in that foster home. Your action may rescue several children.

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    1. Edited to clarify.
      Child is not in foster care at this time, but my phone call may be the thing that causes that to happen.

      Even so, it still had to happen.

      Delete
  3. My heart always hurts when I hear children are being put into foster care.I have heard so many horror stories and usually, it doesn't end well for the kids. I have no idea how many of the adults are just trying to get the money for it, or are looking for some little one to abuse (girl or boy). A lot of so-called adults are not even adults...and some are adult monsters. I hope this wasn't the case for this young one you really listened to, that trusted you so much,thank God! I get so bruised even hearing about children who don't even survive the foster care system, and if they do--they really never get over the experience. If it doesn't hurt one's heart, something is wrong inside anyone! I had a messed up childhood, but I survived it. You can always forgive, but forgetting--is very hard.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I edited the post. The young person is not in foster care now. But because of my phone call, it might happen. I hope that if it does happen, the child will be cared for and loved. Will be safe. I don't love the foster care system, and have considered being a foster parent at some time in the future, but I don't know if I'd be able to give a child BACK... taking them in would be the easy part.

      Delete
    2. I'm sorry if I got wrong---I thought child was already in foster care. I have to wonder now, if there is a step-parent or boyfriend(or girlfriend) somehow changing family dynamics here. This isn't to say there can't be molestation, incest, abuse in what we think of as a "normal family". Hah---there are few of those, I suppose. This a hard topic for me. If I had shared my childhood with someone I felt I could trust, I may have been removed from the family I loved. Children dedicate their minds to love their families no matter how much it hurts, I guess! I truly hope good things happens for this child. May I ask if this a child you've had in your job?

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    3. This was a summer kid. Not anyone I've met before. And in only one week, no opportunity to really get to understand things.

      The abuser is a parent.

      Delete
  4. Thank you for doing the hard things.

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    1. It is very hard. :(
      But there's NO way I could look at that face and listen to that small voice and not try to help. Even if it weren't legally required of me, I would try to help.

      Delete
  5. I pray the child gets the love and help he needs. Thank you. I hope this doesn't make repercussion that will be harmful to him for "telling"

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    1. That's one of the reasons I don't like making that phone call. I have had to do it before, more than once. It's not fun. I derive no joy from it. But I'd feel much, much worse if my failure to act meant a child was being left in a dangerous situation without help.

      Delete
  6. That has to be a very tough decision. God bless you for caring as much as you do!

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    1. The decision itself is easy when a child says the things this one said to me. The aftermath is the difficult part. I have no idea if the child is safe, if the investigator is one of the battalion of caseworkers that have about twice as many cases as they can handle, if the abuse is continuing while they investigate... and I never get to learn the rest of the story.

      Delete
  7. As difficult as that is, there are times when someone has to step in. We can't ignore or look away when we know a child is being abused in some way. It's a testament to the trust the kids have in you to tell you such a story.

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    1. I couldn't believe the stuff that was coming from that child's mouth. I listened, nodded, agreed that it wasn't fair, listened some more. I was trying to commit the things s/he said to memory so I could tell the call screener as much as possible. That poor kid. SO wrong. :(

      Delete

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