What the hell do I say to that???

One of my regular kids had a schedule change on Monday.
As I was checking in with the school secretary in the afternoon, she took a call from Kenzie's stepmom. She was able to tell me that Kenzie would not be in program that afternoon while I was still in the office, saving me the trouble of having to track her down after school.

Kenzie already has an unusual schedule, many people in her extended family have visitation rights. It's a long and complicated story, full of ugliness and sadness, but the flip side is that there are many people who love Kenzie and want to spend time with her.

But there was an unexpected death in her family on Monday, and she was picked up from school instead of from my program.

Then on Wednesday, her stepmom called and left me a message that someone who is not on her authorized pickup list would be picking Kenzie up. I made a note of it, wrote down his name and forgot to tell Kenzie.

There was a knock on the back door about four, and when I opened it, an older guy and his wife stepped in. From across the room Kenzie squealed, "GRANDPA!!!!!"
She jumped up from her little cup fort and ran across the room and flung herself into the arms of her grandparents. Grandma was wiping a tear away, Grandpa was beaming like a small sun.

I did the ID thing, Grandpa was sort of taken aback, he said, "Well she obviously knows us!" He wasn't impolite, he just didn't understand why I'd ask for ID when she was happy to see them. I explained that I ID everyone I haven't met, no matter what.

I didn't get into custody arrangements and why even if she was happy to see them that didn't mean they were supposed to be able to take her, either. But with all the things going on in her life, that has to be on my mind. Once in my career of caring for children, we had what we thought was an incident... turned out to be a misunderstanding and all was well.
A few years ago at one of the seven or eight schools I've worked in, we had a non-custodial parent make a half-assed effort to take one of our kids out of the program one afternoon. Since that parent was not on the authorized pickup list, we called the other parent. And that parent said, "NO!!! My child is not to go with that person! I have a restraining order!"

That was an interesting afternoon. Everything ended up okay, but the child was traumatized and his/her feelings were hurt.

Law enforcement was involved, and paperwork and interviews had to happen.

Not a good scene, and by necessity, other kids in the program saw what was going on.
::sigh::

But I don't think a child care provider can be too careful about the safety of the children.

I check ID, I make phone calls, I do whatever I have to do to make sure the child is leaving with a safe adult.

Anyway, Kenzie's grandparents live in another state and she sees them once a year. But because of the unexpected tragedy in her family, they came to get her.

She was back on Thursday. While we were all sitting together at the snack tables, she told us that her great grandma had died.

"She didn't hear very good," Kenzie said, munching on her crackers. "So she was out for a walk and walked behind a delivery truck. And you know that beeeeeeeeeping noise trucks make when they back up?"

When everyone said yes, she continued. "Well my granny couldn't hear it and the truck backed right over her!!" She laughed, but it wasn't funny to her, she just doesn't know how to process her feelings.

I told her that I was really sorry about her granny.
She looked sad. "Me, too."

I know that children are resilient and that they're able to deal with things in their own way. And Kenzie has had a lot of difficult things happen in her short life, so she's already in counseling twice a week.

She's loved and she's cared for. I've never seen a stepmom be kinder or more loving toward a stepchild than hers. There is genuine affection between them, hugs and 'I love yous' are exchanged when Kenzie is dropped off or picked up by her stepmom.

Her dad is super nice, too. Very polite to me as well as happy to see his daughter when he comes to get her.

I wish I knew how to handle every single thing that comes up, ever. But I don't.