Oh yeah? What about ME?

So Joseph came home from rehab on Thursday.

It's not easy. And Tami is still trying to write (as THE money earner for the family, she sort of has to) and take care of him. Without giving personal details, I will just say that she has to take care of ALL his needs, even the private ones, and that he isn't the same person he was before the stroke.

A large personality change has happened, and she's left caring for someone who, while not a complete stranger, isn't the man she was married to a month ago. She's doing what most people do when faced with this... coping as best she can, going on with living and trying to adjust to this new person in her life.

She wrote on Facebook today that she had no idea it would be so hard.

One of the responses she got made me want to reach through the screen and slap the person who wrote it, although that's probably not the right way to handle it. I actually don't care what the right way is... if I were able to reach through and slap, I would be happy to do so anyway. This person wanted to 'stress the positive' and pointed out that money has been donated, that people have done things to help and that he's on the road to recovery.

Well, sure. Those are all positive things.

She went on to compare Joseph's stroke to her own back surgery and how hard her husband had to work to take care of her and how she *thought* she had friends but then she learned who her real friends were.

So because she's had a hard time with a surgery, that means that Tami's not allowed to vent? To say what she's feeling?

Like I said... urge to slap.

Tami needs to be able to talk about what's bothering her. She needs to be able to do so without trying to carefully choose her words. She is entitled to say whatever she wants to say. I would think that the person who was so nasty would just click that little button and remove herself from Tami's FB friends instead of commenting on how Tami is allowed to feel.

Thankfully other people have said they think Tami should feel free to vent. To talk about what has happened and what's happening now, using whatever words she wants to describe her current situation.

Part of being someone's friend is listening to them. Being there when they need to talk.

And not interrupting someone's narrative about what's bothering them to say something like, "Oh you think that's a big deal? Well let me tell you what happened to ME!"

I'm not going to put all this on Tami's facebook page. I did comment that she should feel free to say whatever she needs to say, but I'm not going to engage in an argument or disagreement with a stranger on the internet.

Especially when I know it would escalate quickly and I'd call her names.
Grr.