NOT the time or place...

I've had the same conversation with several of my kids.

Because they are children, and they're learning how to navigate life in the real world, they experiment with being adults. Emulating the behavior of the adults they observe at home and everywhere they go.

One reason to lead by example and try to make it a good example.

Our school playground is not private property. We see an assortment of people there, mostly kids who live in the area and attend our school. Our location makes it so that we really don't have to deal with most of the things that schools closer to the city have to deal with. Things like needles and condoms and even trash are almost non-existent out there, thank goodness.

One young man has been coming over for a few years to hang out with my kids when we're outdoors. He goes to school with them and one gets the feeling that he's a little lonely after school. He's almost always by himself. Once in awhile he has his cousin with him, a boy who's a couple years older.

They're both nice kids, really. Kevin* has been bringing his Golden Retreiver puppy with him (on a leash) and we've all had fun watching the dog grow. I can't allow my kids to touch a dog, and if there is one on the playground off-leash, we have to go back into the building. I understand the rule and why it's actually a good idea, but the kids are disappointed when they can't play with the dog.

Yesterday, he didn't have a dog with him. Just a fancy RC car. He had tied some string and a hook on it, trying to tow various things he found on the ground, but the string got entangled on an axle. He came over to the fence where I was observing the playground with my assistant and asked if I had a pair of scissors.

I do have them in my first aid kit. Required on our license. I handed him the scissors and said, "Please be sure to stick your trash in your pocket."

He cut the string and stuff off, held out the scissors to me and said thank you, and drove his little car about halfway across the field.

Some of the kids were out there, and he stopped to talk to them. Two of them turned away from him almost immediately, and headed toward me.

Greg got to me first. "Kevin is saying the f word out there. He said it three times!"

I was heading across the field while Greg was still talking.

Kevin was standing there, managing to look defiant and embarrassed at the same time. I had a few moments decide what I was going to say.

I got about 20 feet away, and to spare his feelings, as I do with the kids in my care, called him over to me.
"Dude. It's totally fine for you to come here and hang out with the other kids, but your language has to be rated G. You can't come here and say inappropriate things while you're here. If you're going to come hang out, you have to remember that words like those don't belong in my group. Can you do that?"

He agreed. Said, "Okay."

"And you left your trash over there. Please come pick it up before you leave."

He walked back over and picked it up. We passed each other as I was going over to the fence. I said, "I understand the language thing. A lot of people talk like that at home or other places. But seriously, Buddy, don't do it here, okay?"

He muttered something as we passed.
I went back to my vantage point. I can see the whole playground plus monitoring the doors from there.

He passed the same group of kids he'd said fuck in front of. Paused. Walked on. As a group they all ran toward me. Apparently he said something along the lines of 'fuck that and fuck that bitch and I will say whatever the fuck I want.'

The other kids didn't repeat those things, of course. They just let me know.

He stood on the other side of the track, which divides our field in half from the middle school and looked my way. I didn't bother saying anything to him, instead blowing my little whistle twice and gathering the children to go indoors.

Silly boy. The principal has his own child in my program. Do you think I'm not going to mention your attitude and your language?

When I saw the principal yesterday afternoon, I told him what had happened.

I don't think he liked it.
I didn't like it, either.

I hope it doesn't happen again.