The Usual Suspects and Every Last Nerve

Nothing new, of course. Every summer and every non-school day program has the same issues. We have children who come from many different programs. Not every program is the same (and shouldn't be, really) but also not the same? Behavioral standards. Oh my goodness are they EVER not the same!!

I hope none of you are the grammar police.

We have three boys who attend the same program during the school year. The site director is a lovely person. One of the nicest people I know. She's not much on monitoring, however. These three boys constantly bash into each other. They throw toys. They deliberately gang up to make other kids mad.

One of our areas is for dramatic play. We have babies and food and cash registers and money and dishes and a big table. These three boys consistently go over there, steal the money from the cash registers, pretend to make the babies pee on the food, hide things they know people are playing with and generally just piss people off.

It's evident that they're accustomed to doing these things, too. They always seem so surprised when we call them out. Sometimes they act innocent. (Who? Me?) and sometimes they act like we're idiots.

"Well Sandy* lets us do it...."

It doesn't take long for them to realize that the morning staff and afternoon staff actually communicate with each other.

Last summer, things were completely crazy and I walked out every afternoon ready to quit forever. I did a bit of lobbying and had several conversations with Sunshine, our old manager and our new one and suggested we have a 'bridge' person. The way it worked out last year was sort of unbalanced. By the time lunch rolled around, there were three people working. The lunch person came in to serve lunch and there were four.

And when lunch was over, all four of them went home, leaving 30 kids in the care of two individuals. At our regular sites, that wouldn't be an issue. With one or two exceptions, we could handle that just fine.

But during summer it was really unfair to the 'good' kids, for want of a better word.

The kids who were eager to learn/do projects would gather at the table where we were starting, and I'd have to jump up every five minutes to help redirect kids. And because they're nice kids, they'd sit and wait patiently. Sometimes a 20 minute project would take an hour because of that. Sometimes we'd have to continue a project the next day. Or worse, never get back to it.

Projects weren't our only thing, you see. We had snacks to deal with and handwashing and making sure we got in our outdoor time. Sticking at least nominally to a schedule. It was horrendous.

So this year, Stephanie* is opening in the morning. Sunshine comes in next, then a different staff member. It varies. I come in at noon, and Cindy* comes in at 1. Stephanie leaves at lunch time, but we're still covered. It's been a lot calmer and runs a lot better.

We do still have those kid issues, though.

We have Marcus*. Marcus thinks he needs to argue with every goddamn thing we tell him.
"Marcus, we don't play tag on the play structure."
"It's NOT tag. It's hot lava monster."
"If someone is it, and you're chasing them on the play structure, you are playing tag. You are making it unsafe for the other kids and you're not allowed to do it."
"Oh that's YOUR opinion."

He really likes to argue, too. One damn thing after another. All. Day. Long.
It gets old. He's disrespectful to the staff and to other kids.

The problem is that his regular site director calls his mother. When he's being snotty and out of control, she picks up the phone and calls his mom and hands him the phone.

So of course a more experienced person would stop and say to herself, hmm, what I am doing when I call Mom instead of handling the situation is giving control to someone who isn't even here. This probably isn't going to end well.

And thanks partially to that, we are dealing with a young person who really has a shitty attitude. He has a lot of attitude anyway. He's rude. He's overbearing. This afternoon he was telling a little guy (he's only 5, this little guy) how he MUST use the slide and steps up to the slide. It was some convoluted thing where he was supposed to use his left foot to start and he had to pause part way up and say something and then he was supposed to slide on his stomach. Which is against the rules.*

*If it were up to me, some of the things we are required to prohibit wouldn't be prohibited. I don't see any harm in twisting on the swings, for example. Or sliding on your tummy. Or even jumping out of the swings. They are on a foot of bark chips. Under the bark is a foam rubber cushion that I'd love to have on my kitchen floor, too. Cushy.

But since it's against the rules to use the slide like that, Marcus was setting a bad example. Not to mention that he doesn't get to tell other kids what to do.

When I told him that he doesn't get to tell other kids how to use the playground equipment, he said, "That's your opinion."

Last summer he did not attend every day.
I haven't looked at the schedule yet to see if we're stuck with him going to see him every day this year.

Since I am taking vacation time every Friday, I suppose I won't be seeing him every weekday anyway.

By the end of the summer, he will catch on.

Then, he will go back to his regular site and have nine months to relearn his crappy behavior. And we'll repeat the whole thing.

Eventually he will age out of the program.