Sucker Punch

On Tuesday afternoon, as we were coming back from the gym, Fred* punched Bill* in the stomach.

It was a completely unprovoked attack.

Bill hit the floor, gasping, and Fred just... kept walking.

Obviously there's nothing okay about physical violence, and after making sure Bill was okay, I sat down with Fred.

I asked him why he'd done it. He shrugged. I said, "Did Bill do something to you? Why would you hit him?" No answer. He looked down at the book in his lap. He's a frustrating kid, often just checks out instead of standing up and taking responsibility. He won't talk about what's going on.

There is a procedure we have to follow when things like this happen. I'm glad that in the time I've worked for the company, there have been very few incidents.

The proper steps were taken.
Paperwork.
Phone calls.
Discussion with parents.

We have a lot of other things going on with him. I know he's stealing little things, caught him last week trying to take the die from a game and slip it into his pocket. When I asked him about it, he said, "I found it."

I said, "Yeah. You found it on the table with that game over there. Go put it back, please."

Annie* came to me and asked me if I knew that he had one of the dinosaurs from our bin. I said no, I didn't, and she told me he had shown it to her and said, "I found it."

"He thinks he can trust me," she said scornfully. "But I know he stole it."

When we had a program at Sunshine's site, some of her Lego guys were missing at the end of the day.

In a strange coincidence, he brought three Lego men to me at our school and said, "I just got these new Lego guys the other day."

I knew at least one of them was one of the missing ones, but I couldn't prove it. I did not see him take it. I can't accuse him of taking things unless I have actually witnessed it.

I have had little things end up missing, kids have had things missing, too.

They put their backpacks in laundry baskets at the beginning of our afternoon together. I have finally put them along the wall nearest my 'station'. I try to observe. I can't keep kids from slipping things into their pockets and taking the stuff home, though. I can't observe every single one of them. I can't.

We depend on the honor system a lot, I suppose, although we've never discussed it. I sort of feel like 'it's not nice to steal' shouldn't have to be discussed. We pick it up from our culture, you know? Like not being cannibals. No one has to tell children that it's not nice to eat their playmates... we just.. know.

And with that particular kid, I can discuss until I turn green. He doesn't listen.

There are definitely things going on with this kid.

I will do the same thing with him that I do with all the rest of them. Treat him with respect, try to keep him safe, try to keep the other kids safe from him, monitor as best I can and just sort of muddle through.

Once again, you thought I was just a babysitter, didn't ya?