I just do a lot

Our Jennifer* has been in fine form this week.

All of the kids have issues with cleaning up what they've been playing with before moving on to another activity, which is fine, they're children. But as the adult in charge, it's my job to remind them, too.

So Jennifer had been playing with the magnet building blocks and zoo animals. She decided to get up and move on to the dominoes, making long chain reactions is fun for them, and we have a ton of dominoes for it.

When it was time for everyone to clean up before school and I told the kids it was time to clean up, she put away the dominoes and went to get her backpack. Two of the kids who'd been playing with the animals with her said, "Jennifer, you have to help us clean up." She stuck her little nose in the air and said very firmly and in a snotty tone, "No, I don't."

I was behind her, and said, "Oh. Yes, you do, Jennifer. You played there, and you haven't done anything to help clean it up."

She didn't know I was behind her, listening in. She thought she could get away with telling the other kids no. So she turned red and turned on the waterworks.
"You just don't understand!" she lamented. She put the back of her hand on her forehead and turned up the volume. "I work so hard! I do all the chores at home. My parents don't do anything! They just sit in their chairs and make me cook and clean and do all the dishes!!"

The other kids looked at her, mystified. Jennifer in full spate often causes that reaction. It's sort of... shocking when she goes from zero to victim of horrible persecution in 2 seconds flat. None of the kids know what to do or say. They all just stand there, looking at her.

Once in a while, a child who hasn't been with us long or doesn't know her very well will run to me when she starts melting down to let me know that "Jennifer's CRYING!!!" but most of them just look at her for a moment, then go on about their day. It actually shuts her off faster when they do that than when people gather around and make a big deal of her.

One of our other site directors did not know her at all, and happened to be the one who tried to find out "what's wrong" at one non-school day program. The usual 3 minute meltdown was drawn out into a 35 minute screaming free for all while Cindy* patted her shoulder and handed her tissues ineffectually. Jennifer winds UP when she's distraught, not down. If you give her an audience, she flat out performs.
Personally, I find it difficult still not to burst out laughing when she comes up with a whopper like, "You have NO IDEA how tired I am, I do ALL the work at my house!!!"

But that would hurt her feelings, and I'm not in that business.

I am not there to make her feel bad, I am there to build her up. I'm there to build them all up, really.

So I just told her gently, "You know it's our rule that if you played in an area, you are to help clean up that area. Please help Joey* and Ariana* put the toys away, Jennifer."

She wiped away her tears and bravely labored for the 40 seconds or so it took to scoop the animals into their bin and put the lid on the box of magnets. And in her usual way, wished Lyssa and me a good day as she walked up the hall to breakfast.

I laugh every day.