So about that mean girl...

I forwarded a copy of what I'd written about her to the principal, thinking that if she read it, it would help explain and we could skip the formalities... go right to 'What should I do?' instead of, 'So, about Penny...'

Except I got sick around 1:30 on Wednesday the 19th.
And never made it to see the principal at all.

Today, March 3rd, is my first full day back since I got sick.

I'll try to catch her soon.

She did respond to my email, however. She complimented my on my writing.
(Wow! You are really a good writer!!)

That just never gets old, seriously.

And she invited me to stop by her office anytime.
Something I'm planning on doing as soon as I have time.

I could just let it go. Penny will be heading off to a new school in the fall, and this will be her last year in my program. She is mostly under control when she is in my care. I know what she gets up to and have seen enough of her little manipulative games to know how she's treating everyone and I monitor the drama and intervene as necessary.

And one could argue that she really isn't my problem most of the time, so why stress out/intervene/bother at all?

But really, someone could say that about a lot of things I do for my kids. I don't have to do many of the things I do in order to do the job that's expected of me. I don't have to provide the extras that make my program a fun place for the kids to hang out. I don't have to sit here and spend time online looking for new projects or putting a spin on old ones. I don't have to pick up things at Goodwill, or go through my craft things here at home or loan my books to kids or work on my snack order, my supply order on my own time. Doesn't matter. It *is* for my kids, so it's worth whatever time and effort I expend.

I know that people may wonder why I don't knock her down a bit. (figuratively, of course...)  It would be pretty easy, too.

Since I'm an adult and (theoretically at least) marginally smarter than she is, I could publicly humiliate her and embarrass her. I am in a position of authority over her, and I could really take advantage of it. Factor in the life experience I've had and I could really do a number on her.

I could tell her every time she steps over the line that she will need to play alone for a half hour. I could become hyper-vigilant and hover so close that she'd become afraid to act up. I could squelch her and make her timid.

None of those things would help. She isn't being mean because she's a bad person. She doesn't really understand on a deep level that her words and actions are really harmful, she just is testing her powers, for want of a better term. She's experimenting. And topping her meanness with even more of it isn't going to fix the situation.

The thing that's sometimes hard to remember is that Penny is a child. She's not an asshole or a jerk or a bad person. She's a child who doesn't fully understand the effect her actions have on others.

I am going to talk with the principal about the situation, because I think if she did not get away with her mean girl behavior as much as she does... that if the adults around her were more vigilant and observant and used the opportunities as teachable moments.. it might help.  I would like to help Penny succeed in her later life, basically. Someone who grows up treating other people disrespectfully the way she does, if it remains unchecked... well, she's not going to be terribly happy as an adult. Because the stuff she's doing to the other kids is going to end up hurting her, too.

She doesn't come from a family of mean people, either.
Her family is a nice family.

Her parents are really kind people, and have been supportive of my program for several years.

I had Penny's older brother in my program for a few years, too.

He's a great kid, very nice to other people and has a quirky sense of humor. He was one of the big boys who was always very nice to the smaller ones, allowing the little guys to join in the games and encouraging them and applauding their efforts to score points or whatever. He was patient with them and tried to assist them in learning whatever game they were playing. It was more important to him to be decent than to score points. Rare in a boy that age.

I see him on occasion, and he is always polite, genuinely glad to see me, and will grow up to be a good man, I think.

So Penny is just in need of some guidance at this point. I hope to be able to provide at least a little of it in the time we have left together before she moves on.

I think it's worth the effort.