Laundry. Table cleaning. More laundry. Weekend stuff. Groceries. Planning for this week. Sleeping in. You know. Weekends.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I have this topic I want to bring up and write about, but not sure how to say it yet.
But I'll ask you this... what do you think about seeing a clergyman (or woman... either/or... I understand some are 'both'...) for "counseling"?
Isn't that sort of like seeing an acupuncturist for open heart surgery?
A plumber for a haircut?
Yes, I know some pastors have some training in counseling, but I can't see it as a smart idea to depend on one for all your counseling needs.
Especially for things like addiction and all the crazy that goes along with it. In this particular instance, I am talking about alcohol addiction.
I don't know if all people still do the whiny, "But I cain't help it, it's a disease!" thing, but it's NOT. It's a drug addiction. Still nothing to be ashamed of, but it's not a disease. And I don't believe you can just pray it away. Personally, I don't believe praying about it is gonna do shit, but I realize not everyone believes my way.
I sort of see the relationship in this case as a parasitical one. Like a barnacle attached to one's ass. Hard as hell to scrape off once it's attached. And does harm to the host as well. And since I know the host, it offends me. There's not a thing I can do about it, and probably would not interfere even if I could, but it DOES bother me.
And I can't figure out why someone who has nothing but problems.. addictions, relationship issues etc would go to someone who is not a professional for help.
Thoughts?
Sleeping in ? Whats that?
ReplyDeleteHm, I think a clergy person can offer a spiritual perspective, but that's only part of the equation.
ReplyDeleteWhen it comes to "advice", I'd go to a friend or clergy person.
When it comes to actual counseling, I would look for a professional. Not that a clergy person isn't a professional; it's just that counseling is just one aspect of what they do, and there's going to be a religious bias to it.
If I'm going to a counselor, it's for impartiality - not "The Bible says..."
And, no offense to my fellow Theists, but God isn't going to make a person *not* an alcoholic.
ReplyDeleteTreatment specifically for the disease AND a personal willingness to beat it are. I should know. I've watched my dad not give a shit about giving up drinking (especially when God is mentioned) for almost 40 years.
Sometimes just voicing something to anyone, clergy, or not, helps to admit and take responsibility for ones problems, or addictions. It's still up to the addicted person to make the choice to correct the problem.
ReplyDeleteSomeone who has been through the problem themselves and is NOW a councilor would be my choice.
ReplyDeleteTo my way of thinking....they can relate to you.
Admitting that you have a problem is the first step and looks like this person has made that step. :0)
(((hugs)))Pat
I'm with Wendy. Clergy might be a good place to start, but most of them aren't strained specifically in addiction. OTOH, AA is based on faith, and works well for many people. I'd go to an AA meeting and ask for referrals.
ReplyDeleteSounds like this barnacle is going to be difficult to pry off now. And, no, I do not think a pastor, without specific counseling training, is the place to go with these types of problems. Religious questions? Sure. Feeling a loss of faith? yeah. But not something like this.
ReplyDeleteI have an open mind. Who knows what will help someone? I think it all depends on the person. My cat is my counselor and it's costing me a lot in Fancy Feast.
ReplyDeleteWe have friends that are pastors. I think they could give 2 good sides, maybe 3. One as a friend, two as a clergy, and 3 as parents, since most of my issues are kid related, duh. But...if I needed professional counseling, I'd go to a therapist. Definitely not for alcohol addiction. That needs 'medical' treatment, i.e. inpatient, not only prayer, although I agree that it would be a good place to start?
ReplyDeleteI think whatever works for you, go for it. I really don't think a preacher would be the best choice for an addiction. Maybe in ADDITION to a counselor but not instead of. My 2¢ worth. ;)
ReplyDeleteMy guess is the number one reason is a very financial one . . . ministers and the like counsel you for free, while shrinks and other therapists certainly do not. They often are more willing to meet at non-office hours and even let you come over, hang out, spend the night . . . I'd prefer to just do that with a friend, but then, as an atheist, I might just be too annoying--or challenging--for a minister.
ReplyDeleteI think it is ok to start out looking for help with a clergyman , however the clergy should then refer the individual to appropriate counsel. I am a Christian and I agree faith and prayer are helpful, but they alone cannot repair the damage of addiction.
ReplyDeleteOur clergy or "bishop" as we refer to him will direct us in which direction we should take. He will counsel and give advice and will help out financially if you decide to go to a "professional". My husband and I both met with our bishop yesterday to discuss issues that we are having, counseling is in our future, but he gave us some things to do until we can get there.
ReplyDeleteBut if it were an emergent type of situation I know he would have made it happen faster.
No you can't pray away an addiction or disease, but I think for any type of treatment you have to believe it's going to work for it to work, and for some people that requires having faith and praying for strength to endure the treatment.
I would go to my Pastor for help in direction, for emotional support. But, I would also go to a dedicated substance abuse counselor for alcoholism.
ReplyDeleteHopefully, if one is going to a member of their church for help, they will lead them in the right direction and not just try to "pray" something away. Prayer is very powerful, I believe that. But, God also gave us brains (well. most of us)and wisdom to find answers in other ways, too. I don't see why a Pastor and "professional" counselor can't work together, to get someone all the help they need.
If someone was deeply religious then confiding in a clergyman/woman would be somewhat logical, especially if both parties agreed for a mediator. However, substance abuse is not one of those things.
ReplyDeleteI believe that it is a genetic predisposition, and can possibly be considered a disease. As well as an addiction, AKA a choice. It's a complicated biological and psychological issue and should not be handled by someone of the church.
OK. That's all I got. :)
I meant to comment on this post, but forgot.
ReplyDeleteSpeaking as a PK (preacher's kid) who has had years to observe the profession, a lot of clergy are dumber than a box of rocks. I think they go into the biz because they're incapable of holding down a real job. I'd be cautious about asking some of them directions on how to tie my shoes.
Of course, there ARE clergy who happen to be brilliant, and lots and lots who are quite competent. And plenty who will simply say, "Gee, I think I need to give you a referral to a professional, because that's what you really need in this situation."
Overall, I'd start with the professional in the first place. There are clergy who are also professional counselors, if that's the spin someone wants.
As a Christian, prayer would definitely be a big part of recovery, if I were an alcoholic or drug addict. That being said, I would probably not go to a pastor for counseling on it. I would rather go to a Christian counselor, who has undergone training in counseling but whose counseling lines up with my beliefs.
ReplyDelete