Poll It Surprise!!

First, a voice update. It's... sort of better? I still don't sound good. But better than I have in the last couple weeks. I am cautiously optimistic. Send good thoughts, I could REALLY use my voice. REALLY.

Okay. So, we've all seen polls.

Of course a thinking individual can look at a poll and realize that a person can make a poll say anything they want it to say.

Keyword THINKING... and it seems like not a lot of thinking really takes place when it comes to stuff like this.

I always wonder what kind of idiot actually takes poll results into account. Politicians use them to suggest that their opponents are porking their Cocker Spaniels and stealing money from your mom. Or porking your mom and stealing from your dog... either/or.

Often, the news websites I look at feature polls.This particular one invited me to choose between the Oregon Ducks and the Oregon State Beavers. Like I give a shit. And I know some people DO care about stuff like that. It's okay with me. I just don't get it. And I feel like polls are there to engage you and keep your attention while distracting you from what's really going on all around us. Ever think about that?

Who’s your favorite college football team?

Ducks
Beavers
Other

I'm asked if I believe our economy is getting better or worse.

Do you think President Obama’s jobs plan will jump-start the economy? 

Yes
No
Not sure

Um, how about no???? What fucking plan? The one we're gonna have to pass to see what's in it???

I doubt his ability to do anything, actually. He's certainly proved to be a useless leader.

If the election were held today, would YOU vote for the Mom humper or the Spaniel Fucker?

Yes
No
Not sure

But there's never a little bubble to fill in that says who cares? I don't believe that candidate A, a Democrat who loves old ladies, wants to give me some free shit and has always wanted a career in public service is any better than candidate B, a Republican who loves old ladies, wants to give me some free shit and has always wanted a career in public service.

I am not a computer geek. I know just enough to be dangerous, and when something goes wrong with one of my computers, I just say, "Maaaaatttt!!" and let my son handle it.

But I'd love to be able to hack into polls and add my own answers just for fun.
Things like 'who gives a rat's ass?' to "they're all criminals," to "it really doesn't matter which team wins."

I bet the choices that aren't offered are the ones that would usually win.
Just guessing.

And it frustrates me in some formless way that those polls are there to help me feel engaged. To let me think that somehow, my opinion about any of those things matters.

It brings to mind the sweepstakes crap I used to get in the mail. Scratch off this dot to see what you've won! (It was always the biggest discount/best prize they had listed.)

Send this card back with either the YES or NO sticker on the outside of the envelope.

If you've chosen not to take advantage of this deal, we'd LOVE to know why! Won't you take a few moments and explain? We want to make you happy!

How come they can't just report facts and let people think for themselves?

I guess the idea that many people can't think without being told what to think and how to think it has a lot of validity, but damn.

So do you think polls are:
A. Stupid
B. Pointless
C. Asinine
D. All of the above
E. Who gives a shit?