Does this award make my ass look big?

Correct answer? NO!

I look STYLISH. How do I know? Because Cindy is Stylish and she said that I am, too.
A stylish blogger, to be exact.


:)

Oh yeah.
Keep those compliments coming!
::preen::

So I am supposed to tell you seven things about me that you may not know and then pass the award on.

I can totally do this.

1. I married a wonderful man.
A guy who can cook.
And does.
Frequently.

If it were not for Eric, I would probably eat a whole lot of soup for dinner, because when I come home from work around 6:30 every evening, the last thing I want to do is cook. Much easier to open a can of soup and ignore the universe for the two hours I have between returning home from work and going to bed to get up at 5 the next morning.

He cooks all kinds of creative stuff, too. As I write this, the chicken he's making for Sunday dinner is baking and filling the house with the most wonderful smell. He makes this kick-ass basting sauce that includes a LOT of chopped mushrooms. They get crispy but not burned on the top of the chicken. It's a foodgasm. Seriously.

And not only does Eric cook, he does dishes. He sweeps the floor. Shakes rugs. Folds laundry. Gives shoulder massages.

9 out of 10 nights, when I come home from work, he has already turned on the electric blanket to preheat my side of the bed. So that when I am ready to sleep, I will be warm.

He has other talents. I'll let you imagine what those talents might be.

So when people don't understand why we don't exchange gifts for birthdays or Christmas or other holidays, I just smile. Because he does at least three things every single day that let me know exactly how much I mean to him.

And for more than 30 years, he has put my needs ahead of his own.

2. I love blue things. Blue clothes. Blue sky. Blue shoelaces. Blue towels for the bathroom. My old lady pill container that Eric fills up every weekend with vitamin supplements? Blue. The box of tissues sitting next to me at the table? Also blue.
If I have a color choice and blue is one of the choices, I will always choose the blue one of whatever it is. I don't know why, but blue just speaks to me.

Have you ever wondered about favorite colors? I have. Everyone I've ever asked has a favorite color. There is no 'don't care' when it comes to color. I wonder why that is. I mean, they may choose weird colors (who the hell likes orange, for example...) but they always love a certain color or shade. Have you ever met anyone who is color-indifferent? Me neither.


3. I have a favorite color, but I don't have a favorite song.
I love music from many eras and genres.
On my mp3 player, I go from Bach to Rock to Folk to some fairly new stuff... sometimes I listen to all those different things in an hour or so.
I have music to match every mood.

But I don't listen to music when people are talking to me or when there is a lot going on. It frustrates me to have my music interrupted by life, so I rarely listen to it at home, preferring instead to belt it out along with the stereo as I drive to/from work or disappear inside the sounds while I wait in doctor's offices. Saves me from having to make small talk, too. Someone wearing a headset resembles someone wearing a large do not disturb sign, don't they?

And my mp3 player saves my life when I go somewhere like Goodwill, where they're currently playing what's supposed to be an eclectic mix, but is the most aggravating shit you can imagine to listen to. And at a volume that could actually blister paint.

I played the alto saxophone from 7th grade until I graduated from high school. We played a huge variety of stuff. I was in all the school choirs/musicals until I moved to Colorado and met  Bauguess the dickhead . Although my feelings are no longer raw and lying on the floor,  I can't imagine a day when I will think of him without using that entire phrase. Bah.

4. I have an addiction to the internet/computer. I read a bunch of blogs, many news websites, lots of email... I'm on here a lot. I have friends I've known online since 1997, when we got our first computer. And they're true friends. The distance between us is only geographical. We share all kinds of secrets and build each other up. I have been grateful to have them to confide in.

The internet has truly made the world smaller.

Al Gore is nothing more than a philandering, perverted, lying, money grubbing butt sniffer who has left one of the largest individual carbon footprints of the modern age, but gee whiz, I'm sure glad he invented the internet!

5. I hate politicians. I do not believe that voting makes any difference at all in the outcome of elections, and I don't think either of the major political parties are worth a shit. They lie to us, they steal from us, and they live with a clear or no conscience.

The amount of helpless anger I feel when they get up to their fuckery is astounding, even though I am medicated. Every time I hear about a new and creative way to steal my money, or another fucking moron tells me how gay people are going to crash the social security system, or they tell a bunch of lies and get elected anyway... I stress horribly over it.

Mostly, I would just like to be left alone. And have them stop pissing away my money. I resent having to support them, and would love to see how they'd function if they had to get a real job.

My guess is that they'd starve, every last worthless one of 'em. Which would not be a great loss to the world as far as I'm concerned.

6. You know how some people have hidden talents? Like being an artist, or able to armpit fart The Star-Spangled Banner or tie a knot in spaghetti using their tongue?

I don't have any hidden talents.

I sort of wish I did. It would be fun to share that here.

But no.

Do you have a hidden talent?

7. I LOVE the smell of coffee. When I walk (er, crutch) down the coffee aisle in the grocery store, I slow waaaay down. And breathe deeply. It just smells so damn good.

Of course you already know that the taste of coffee is a bitter disappointment to me. (Pun definitely intended.)  You can add five lbs of sugar to a cup. You can make it 3/4 chocolate syrup. You can add milk. Hell, make a cup of sugar, milk and chocolate and add a single drop of coffee... you just ruined perfectly good sugar, milk and chocolate. Thanks a lot.

So there. Seven things about me. Some you probably knew. Some you did not.
Did I entertain you?

And now, for the people who must, under extreme penalty, take this award and do likewise?
Pat
Surviving Boys
Freakmom
IWASNTBLOGGEDYESTERDAY
Judy
Mrs Boring Stay at Homer
Portia
(just kidding... do it if you wanna, pass it on, follow the rules...or don't.)