What if...

Jack* asked me last week, "What if your kids were gay? Would you still love them?"
He just walked up to me and said that. It was sort of strange, but I said, "Yes, of course I would. Why would who they love change MY love?"

And Jack* said, "Well, sometimes people end up gay and their parents don't love them because they turned out that way. My mom has a friend who won't talk to her own son anymore because he likes guys."

A few kids had stopped to listen in on their way from here to there caught by the "g" word. One of them was Liam*.

Jim* volunteered that he knows 'like four gay people' plus, "One of my uncles is gay. His boyfriend lives at his house and they're just like, married. They sleep in the same bed and they share everything. When we have Thanksgiving, my uncle brings his man with him."

Rachelle* said, "Susan has a gay cousin." They all turned to me. "It's true," I said. "My cousin is a woman who is married to a woman."

"Do you still like her?" Fischer* wanted to know.
"Does her mom still like her?" Jack.

I assured them that yes, I love my cousin and her wife a lot. They're good people and fun to be around. I expressed regret that we don't see each other often because they live in Arizona, but said that I'm always really excited when they come to visit Oregon, and that I don't miss the opportunity to see them when I can.

I sort of glossed over the question of her mom still liking her, because my aunt, although she still loves her daughter, worries about her morality and wants her to 'get right with God.' The religious divide in our family frustrates me and causes me to be a little angry at times... and I definitely don't want to get into that sort of discussion at work with my kids.

Rachelle knows about my cousin because last school year I uploaded a bunch of group activity photos to Snapfish, and while I was ordering prints, ordered a print of Denette and Stacey. Picked up the photos on my way to work, and was letting the kids look through them when that one came up.

The kids wanted to know who was in the picture, so I told them. "My cousin and her wife." and went on with whatever it was I had been doing. I guess it made an impression, although there wasn't really any conversation about it at the time.

So Jack wanted to talk about his mom's friend some more. It seems that as long as she thought her son might not be gay, he could still live at her house and go to college, but that when he brought his boyfriend home to meet his mom, she asked them both to leave and not come back anymore.

"Isn't that sad?" he finished. "To not love your kid anymore?"

I agreed. Said that no matter what, I'd still love my kids.

Liam said that some people 'start out' like boys and then turn into girls.

I gently corrected him. Don't forget that he's learned this from his father... and that he LOVES his daddy. More than anything.

I said, "Well, some people believe that. But I don't. I think that you are whatever you are when you're born, and that it's not going to change. And that there's a place for everyone, and someone for everyone to love and be happy with. Sometimes that person is a girl, sometimes it's a boy. And that's okay."

There was some more chatting... seems everyone knows about being gay, and that some kids are okay with it, and some think it's weird. But it wasn't a huge discussion. There was no argument or 'eww, gross' stuff.

It was sort of low key, and didn't really end. It was near snack time, and we wandered toward the back door to go wash our hands for snack, still chatting.

So I'm guessing it will come up again, as stuff usually does. And I love that it was a calm, matter-of-fact thing that was just... a conversation. Nothing epic. Not huge. Just talking.