Continuing EDucation

As you may have deduced from the previous post, Ed was indeed a dickhead.

One of the benefits of writing is that many years can go by in only a moment, and you're not going to have to sit and read through the story of the five years I was stuck with Ed and the Turds in school.

I can tell you that he did not get any nicer. He didn't pick on me much, since we ran in different circles, but there were a few incidents that will never really go away for me. He treated a lot of people like shit, and they still walked around behind him, laughing loudly at his stupid jokes and treating him much nicer than he ever did them.

I can also tell you that since he was a gifted athlete, he got away with things other guys would not have.

In 8th grade, he sat in the back of math class with the rest of the jocks, and after we'd received our assignment for the day, the teacher wandered to the back of the room and yucked it up with them. Maintaining his sports eligibility was never a problem. I doubt he had to do much.

The most important thing in a town that size is (are?) the sports program, and Ed really was good. If I am recalling correctly, he actually played varsity football his sophomore year in high school.

Here's another thing he did in our sophomore year.

Our teacher, Mr. Tolman, had assigned us debate topics. I don't remember what my topic was, or even if I was for or against whatever it was. What I remember is Ed sitting in the back of the room with a couple other guys AND Mr. Tolman, the teacher, and making fun of me while I tried to speak.

Now we'd never made speeches before, never debated anything before, and except for getting up and singing, I had never been up in front of a bunch of people before. Speaking is much different for me than singing was, and I was nervous.

As he sat in the back of the room saying, "Nyeh nyeh nyeh nyeh." to match my words and inflection, everyone else around him snickered. So did the teacher. He didn't do a fucking thing about Ed's rudeness. Just joined in. Love that athlete-worshipping culture, I'll tell ya. I'm sure that's part the aversion and disgust for professional sports I still have today.

I finally told him to shut his damn face.

And everyone laughed.

At me.

I could write you volumes about Ed and my observations of him while growing up, but what would be the point? If you haven't figured out what kind of person he was, I won't be able to convince you anyway.

;)

I know some of what happened with Ed after graduation. He attended college, and got picked up by a professional football team. He played on special teams for a team you'd recognize if I told you. He got married and had two kids.

Then, he became some sort of investment guy, divorced, and now lives within half an hour of me right here in pass-the-granola Portland.
I wouldn't know him if I saw him.

And I probably wouldn't cross the street to pee on him if I saw him on fire.