More on Bullies and bullying

Eric wasn't afraid to bleed.

His mom moved him around quite a bit after the divorce. He was always having to prove himself to a new school/group of kids.
He got in a lot of fights because he was unwilling to back down. Unafraid to stand up for himself.

He had to be that way for personal reasons, which I won't go into here, but he was not afraid of children. They were nothing compared to some of the older people he had to cope with.

After a fight or two in his new school, he was usually left alone by the students.

One should definitely hit back, Eric says.

He said when you're forced to hit someone back, the best time is NOT while the altercation is going on. He said when you hit back, you're going to end up in a big fight anyway, so you may as well make sure you land the first punch. Make it a good one. And do it later. Like after you go back to class from recess. Make it shocking. Visible. Haul off and punch the guy who sat on you and rubbed your face on the asphalt. Do it when he's least expecting it.

It doesn't take long for word to get out, he says.

He says that if there isn't going to be a fight, a person should handle a bully by acknowledging him or her. Loudly. Publicly.

"Wow! You're really tough, aren't you! Hey everyone, let's clap for Billy! He's REALLY STRONG and can KICK ANYONE'S ASS!!! YAY, Billy!!!!"

or

"Hey!! WHY ARE YOU ALWAYS HITTING ME?? WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU??? Are you in LOVE with me or something?? How come you keep touching me? Hey everyone, Joe loves me! He can't keep his hands off me!!!"

He says the best time to do those things is when it's quiet and no one is paying attention. Coincidentally, that's usually when a bully picks on a person.

I gave it some thought. I think his plan is right on. If a child were being picked on where I work, and I heard another one yelling like that, you can bet it would get my attention!!

Although when a kid in my care is picking on or bothering another kid, I'd say 99% of the time, I notice. I don't let it go. I walk across the room and speak to the person involved. I make sure he (and it's almost always the boys) knows that his behavior is unacceptable, and that if he can't come and treat others with respect, he will have to find solitary activities for the afternoon. So it's not really a punishment, but he's taken away from the activity that's causing him to lose control. I've never had to separate anyone from the group due to bully behavior, though. Usually the fact that we're watching and they know we're watching is enough to ensure respectful treatment of each other.

I know there are probably many ways to handle a bully that actually work, and I also know that any of the much-touted 'anti-bullying programs' that schools point to with great pride mostly don't work. Kids aren't allowed to hit back or defend themselves in any way. It KILLS me that when a boy hits back, both kids are suspended from school for fighting.

I have all sorts of opinions about what this attitude has done to us as a nation. The politically correct, zero common sense policies foisted on us from spineless school administrators to politicians have turned us into a nation of 'turn the other cheek' wimps.

I know that's not a popular opinion.

I don't care.