I'm not singing.

I quit choir a little over a week ago.

I was not looking forward to rehearsals. Instead, I was dragging my feet as I walked out the door. I was getting off work early on Mondays because choir starts at 6:30, but even the idea of getting off work early didn't cheer me up.

I didn't like the music selections this time, but I can deal with that. What I was having a really hard time with is bigger than just songs I hate.

The director is a very nice person. Sweet. She knows who has a new grandchild, who has sick relatives, where people went on their vacations, and shares bits and pieces of her life, too.

She really doesn't direct the way I'm accustomed to, however.

The members of the choir have one volume. As loud as possible. This may be partially due to the volume of the piano. The lady who accompanies the choir plays beautifully. She knows it. So she plays quite loudly.

The sopranos are so overbearing that the rest of the group has to compensate by oversinging. There is no balance. A good choir learns to listen to each other. If you can't hear the other sections, you're too loud. If you want to holler, then be a soloist. You don't belong in a large group if what you really want is to showcase your own talents.

There is very little precision in this group. When sung, most words should end with a clear consonant. If there's an s at the end, a group needs to work hard to avoid the sssssssssssss sound. We're not snakes, we're singers.

Not everyone in the choir can read music. This doesn't have to be a liability. It would be easy to explain to those who feel they must hold a note until it submits that the note should only be held for one count. (or a quarter count or for four beats.) but it's rare for anyone to say so.

Because of the top of the lungs way everything is sung, there are no dynamics. (no soft singing, no buildup to a big finish) No one follows them as they're written. Occasionally, she wants more volume in part of the song, but since everyone is already belting it out so hard it hurts, she doesn't get much more.
Then she looks a little frustrated.

I was frustrated, too.

Every week, I came home hoarse. And I know how to sing. I know better than to overdo it. I still sang too hard. That could be helped, I think with more vocal exercises. More warm ups. The choir warm up consists of one or two songs. Not the vocal exercises that drop your jaw, open up your throat and really get things warm and ready. I had started singing warm ups on my drive over even though people in other cars looked at me strangely, but the two minutes or so it took to get there wasn't long enough to really help.

I didn't want to tell her those things, though. I wouldn't hurt her feelings for anything in the universe.

She really is a very sweet person, and for what it is, the group is not bad. They hold no auditions. No one has to know how to read music. EVERYONE is welcome to come and sing.

The people are very friendly.
The director just doesn't ask a whole lot of them.
I wish she could ask more.

Another problem for me is the ambitious nature of the program. Doing 10 songs is easy... doing them well is not. With only 12-14 rehearsals, there simply isn't time to perfect the music.

So the performance is... not as good as it could be.

I don't have solutions to offer, and I certainly could not do a better job. Which is why I don't own a choir! :)

I'm a singer, not a director.

I told the truth, too... just not all the things I said above.
I told her that I have three commitments every week that take me out of the house in the evenings, and it was too much. I have missed several Girl Scout leader meetings. I'm not managing to keep up with what I need to do. Something has to go, so I am going to stop singing. I said I'd miss everyone, and that I plan to come to the performance in June.

I can't help feeling sad, because I do love to sing and loved the people in the group. They're all so.. nice. Welcoming. I'll miss it.

I just wasn't having fun.
::sigh::